Shaming Is Educating

I don't like to shame people. I've never been a fan of shaming people. I apologize if I have ever done that to you, but it was not my intention. I might have called you out on something because I wanted you to learn about that something. Unfortunately, I don't always know how to introduce a lesson. So I probably came off as a parent who doesn't know how to raise their kids respectfully and calmly without using fear tactics, or negative reinforcements.

I'm still learning.

I think shaming is the worse way to educate anyone. To change anyone's mind.

No doubt that it can be effective. Quickly effective. If we want quick and easy results, shame is the way to go. But really, I don't think those are the results we actually want.

On the surface, the person shamed might do what we want them to do. But at the core of that person, do they really believe in what they're doing? Do they know why they're doing it? Sometimes, yes; sometimes, no.

If we choose to do or not do something out of fear or shame, have we really thought about the reasons why we do it? Have we come to our own moral conclusions, or have we only become the result of someone else's or society's operant conditioning?

I personally find it way better to have an informed conversation about a topic. Give the other person my perspective, give them options to consider, let them decide if they would want to adopt my perspective. Give them food for thought.

Yeah, it definitely is a slower process, and they might end up not adopting my perspective. That's fine. I don't want to change people; I just hope they can be open-minded and give themselves a chance to learn. And if there is room for change, that change is on them and is their own doing.

I prefer that we educate others and ourselves and learn through our empathy. When we choose to do or not do something out of empathy, it speaks more to our moral character.

Personally, what I think: If you do or do not do something, like harming another person, because you're afraid (of prison, society, God, or whatever punishment), you're not making a moral decision. If you do or do not do something because of the effect it would have on others, you are making a moral decision, and that says so much more about you as a human being than your fear or shame does.

Why you do what you choose to do, not what others make you choose, shows your character.

While I applaud boycotts and protests for their effect on change, I admire the change that comes from the respectful conversations even more. Boycotts and protests are effective on the larger scale; they create awareness and quicker changes on the macro level. It's the millions of small conversations between individuals that, in my opinion, create the longer-lasting and more potent changes on the micro level.


Why did I write this post? I'm tired of witnessing people spewing vitriol at celebrities for their very public, often misguided or ignorant actions. Yes, that includes the Kardashians. Celebrities get so much hate because they are in the public eye, as if they're not allowed to be as initially ignorant as any other human being. "Go educate yourself, [insert derogatory name here]. [Insert unnecessary accusations or inflammatory remarks here]" Instead of saying that, why not be the person to effectively educate them? At the least send them in the right direction. Attacking people usually isn't the best way to get someone to understand your perspective. It just makes it seem like your perspective isn't very understanding of others, which is the real problem in many situations in the first place.

But hey, this is just my perspective. I might not be seeing the whole picture myself. Which is usually my issue. I'm more of a micro thinker than a macro one :P