What to do to bring in 2013?

2009, I partied with Ariane and her dance friends.
2010, I celebrated with Harrison and his friends.
2011, I skyped with Shiva and her friend.
2012, I hung out with Autumn, Maggie, Elora, and others.

For 2013, I think I just wanna chill with someone different. Keep the trend going.

My hopeful romantic side wants a New Year's kiss :P

Ideally, I just want to celebrate New Year's with someone special.

Realistically, I might end up just celebrating with people I've celebrated with before.

What a dilemma. (No, no, it isn't)

Hmm, we'll see what happens this time around. Maybe something surprising and unexpected will happen :D

As long as it's exciting and memorable, I'll be happy :)

I feel like I ruined Thanksgiving for my family.

Last night, Brother and his girlfriend, Karina, took me and Vivi to Singlebarrel. First time there for us two. Pretty awesome. Would like to come back eventually. I had a Pink Lady and an English Cosmo (Shiva's recommendation). Liked them.

Though, the thought of alcohol right now makes me queasy >.<

We went to Brix afterward. Vivi and I split a Tokyo Tea. (queasy again) I had to keep her from drinking too much too fast. But I ended up doing that. At some point, Brother and Karina came to us with two more drinks. Did not finish.

Whether I finished them or not, I would have gotten sick anyway. Before midnight.

A lot of firsts last night. First time Vivi and I got seriously inebriated together. First time I've gotten totally messed up in public. First time I've ever been escorted out of a club. First time I've ever puked out of a car window.

I have vowed to stop drinking for the next four months. Not even beer. Not even for New Year's. I'll be a DD if I go clubbing.

Oh man, people at Brix are gonna remember me... I was wearing my teethy hat. If they see it, they'll remember me. Bleh.

Spent the night at Karina's. Puked throughout the night and morning. Didn't leave to go home until 1pm.

So Mother is really pissed off at me and Brother because she thinks I never tried to call her to tell her I wasn't coming home. I tried. She never answered her phone. She called me, but I never heard her call. So she thinks I was ignoring her call. I wasn't. But she won't believe me.

I do feel bad that she couldn't sleep because of me. I don't feel bad for staying out though. Though, I do feel bad for drinking too much -_- Again. Ugh.

I should have continued trying to call her, but I think I just got too wasted to remember to call.

I wish I could apologize for worrying her so much, but she won't listen.

So what now? The angry, silent treatment. And no more Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family /:

I feel absolutely horrible for ruining that. Can't do anything about it now. Just have to wait out her anger. But she's probably going to hold onto it and bring it up every time she gets mad at me.

I hope I never turn my worry into anger so easily...

San Jose Minimum Wage 2012

So the votes have been counted. We're going to have a new low: $10 an hour.

Congratulations, Myers-Lipton and the SJ Living Wage Campaign.

Now, I feel like it's going to be even more difficult for me to find a minimum-wage, full-time job. But anything can happen, yeah? Like maybe I'll move to another city to find a job. We'll see.

Initially, I was behind increasing the minimum wage to $10 an hour because it sounded great; more people at the bottom can afford things they need. But soon enough, I realized changing the minimum wage doesn't change much. It doesn't encourage job creation, but it also doesn't discourage it. If your costs go up or profits go down, you increase your prices to make up for it. If you make more money, you spend more money. But if prices go up, you have to spend more money than you used to anyway.

Prices go up with the costs.

Why can't everything be free? And we all just do as much as we can to contribute to the creation and freeness of everything haha. That would be nice. But human beings can be lazy, selfish, thoughtless, greedy, etc etc. Yeah yeah yeah... It was just a thought.

2012 US Presidential Election

I would laugh if Mitt Romney won the popular vote but Barack Obama won the electoral votes.

It would remind me of the 2000 election, but with Al Gore getting the popular votes and George Bush getting the electoral votes.

According to Google Politics & Elections, at this time:
Obama - 48.7% of pop votes - 252 electoral votes
Romney - 50.0% of pop votes - 200 electoral votes

Trippy.


Edit (November 6, 8:38 PM):
Obama - 49.1% and 265
Romney - 49.5% and 200

We really need to take out the electoral college. Even though I don't want Romney to win, this outcome is ridiculous. Doesn't matter how many votes you get. What matters is where those few key votes are located.


Edit (November 6, 8:45 PM):
Obama - 49.2% and 274
Romney - 49.4% and 200

It was already predicted that Obama won. But hey, can't wait to see what the final tally is.

And again, electoral college is flawed because of the rules that are in place. We should just go by the popular vote!

Surprise!

So yesterday, Vivi came over to my house to hang out for a while before dinner with Brother and Karina--his girlfriend. We were amusing ourselves with YouTube and Sporcle (yay, new website to waste time on haha).

We went to dinner at San Pedro Square. We walked through to the bar.

Suddenly, a group of moustached thirteen friends started singing happy birthday to me from behind O.O I was in shock. I know I was. I kept saying it for the first two hours.

It turned out that Brother and Shiva were in cahoots in planning a surprise birthday dinner for me. I've never had a surprise birthday thing before...

It was simply amazing :)

Must name all the thirteen people who showed up before I forget: Shiva, Mai, Ariane, Ariane's boyfriend Felix (he has the same birthday as me :D), Autumn, Harrison, Brian L, Lisa, Albert, Christine, Jen, Chau, and Jonathan G.

I have some awesome friends haha. I'm still surprised that Vivi didn't let anything slip though XP

So totally unexpected. Biggest birthday celebration I've ever had. Overwhelming, but so fun.

I dunno what to say other than I was just really happy to see some of my closest friends for my birthday :) There were people from like four different groups of my friends. Two groups from high school and two from college. And they all seemed to get along :D Awesome.

I know I normally recount every detail I can muster about events, but I think I'll remember this night pretty well. Even if I was (exaggeratedly) inebriated. Only four drinks. A Long Beach, a Tokyo Tea, and two Strawberry Blasts from Flames (we relocated from SPS).

Ooh, I know I liked the cake. Forgot what's in it already... but it was good cake. From Aki's Bakery :D

Got gifts from Lisa, Christine, and Albert. Oh, they know me so well. Catered to my inner puzzle geek and sleepy kitten sides. Two Sudoku books, one of those brain teaser blocks things, food bowls, and a pillow XD

There was also a card signed by the thirteen surprise guests :P

Ahh, I know I also kept saying that I didn't know I had this many friends. I really felt like I didn't haha. That's probably what contributed to the overwhelmed feeling.


Last night is making me think about my previous two blog entries... or rethink. I dunno.

I'm on cloud nine today. Hope the feeling lasts.

Supposed to go to Target with Shiva later today and then to the movies for Wreck-It Ralph with her, Brian, and maybe Harrison (not sure if he understood that I invited him).


I dunno how to end this entry... I'm just really happy and grateful for the friends I have :)

Losing touch with friends

A continuation of yesterday's entry. Kinda.

I think I'm content with my friendships. They can stay strong. They can ebb and flow. They can fade out. They can die. They can resurrect themselves.

But I guess I still wonder whether it's my fault friendships don't stay strong because I don't try to keep in touch. I don't try to get the conversations going.

I've lost touch with so many people over the years because I stopped trying to talk to them. I don't try. I don't try to talk to Shiva. I don't try to talk to Harrison, Matt, Ariane, Autumn, Maggie, or anybody I've ever considered to be a close friend. Would I lose these friendships if I don't ever start the conversation once in a while? Would they get tired of always having to be the ones to get me to talk?

I should ask my friends how they feel about their friendships with me instead of wondering.

Facebook made it so easy to "keep in touch." All I had to do was send a friend request and wish them a happy birthday once a year. That was keeping in touch...

Did I really need to keep in touch with all those Facebook friends? Why? Why did I need to prevent the eventual fading out of friendships with people whom I barely spoke to in real life? Maybe I should lose touch with people. The ones who want to stay will stay. Those who don't won't. Yes?

I guess the question is... Do I want to stay? Is my lack of making contact an indication that I don't want to stay? Or that I don't care to stay?

I'm afraid I don't know myself all that well. But I guess the self-questioning is good, yeah? A part of the self improvement thing I'm going for? I suppose I need a little help figuring myself out. I feel like I'm either too easy or too hard on myself to really understand the person that I am and to become the person I can be proud of. The kind of friend I am to people makes me wonder how good of a person I can be...

I'm terrible at keeping in touch.

Or maybe I just don't care to try harder.

I've recently been preoccupied by how well I stay in touch with people. Or rather how I don't keep in touch.

I finally deactivated my Facebook account on Monday. I logged in to check some info about Brother's birthday dinner. Then I decided to once and for all deactivate the account. I thought about deleting it completely, but I have memories on there that I would first like to save to a hard drive before I delete. But that might be a while or never. In any case, my account is deactivated. I don't think most friends noticed. That just attests to how much I talked to people on Facebook anyway. And the only people I ever really talked to on Facebook were people I already spoke to in person frequently.

So now that I'm no longer on Facebook and I've graduated from SJSU, I've been more reclusive than I used to be during vacations. Or I've been wanting to be more reclusive. Throughout October, I just wanted to be alone, except I went out to be surrounded by people just about every weekend. For important people's birthdays.

I'm hoping this mood I'm in will go away soon. Irritability is also accompanying this mood because while I wish to be alone, I'm never alone for long enough. Someone always has to interrupt my solitude before I'm ready. Why can't I just be alone when I want to be?

Anyway, I'm forgetting where this is supposed to go... Oh yeah, I'm horrible at keeping in touch. I've realized I rarely ever contact other people. Thus, I rarely talk to my friends. Shiva and I go days without talking before she eventually calls or texts me. Most of my friends and I go weeks or months without saying a word to each other. Seriously, I think they are always the ones contacting me, if they do at all. Even when Shiva and I were dating, or when I was pursuing her, I didn't call or text her first. It was her starting these conversations 95% of the time.

I'm accepting that that's just how I am and really how I've always been. When I used to start conversations with people, I felt like I had to force myself sometimes. I'm not forcing myself anymore. I hope none of my friends take it personally, if they've noticed. It's not that they're not special or important enough for me to keep in touch with them. I just don't naturally do that. We'll talk when we talk.

Is it strange that I'm ok with this? Is it bad? Or am I really just being lazy and unappreciative of my friends?

I dunno. I feel like I appreciate my friends. When we do talk. When we make time for each other. When I remember our shared experiences. I just don't feel like calling anyone. Or texting them. I never do. I think I feel guilty but not. I dunno how to explain it... I guess this kinda makes me feel abnormal. Never really trying to contact my friends. Never really starting the conversation.

Blah. My thoughts are going on to a related topic, but I don't want to talk about that one here. So I think I'm done with this topic for now.


Something completely unrelated:
Last night was Halloween. We hadn't handed out candy pretty much since I was in high school. Mother didn't want to hand out candy this year either. She was afraid someone would use the holiday to rob us. But I felt bad for the little kiddies. So the idea was to leave a bowl of candy outside the door and leave it be. Except when the first three or four trick-or-treaters came, Mother kept opening the door to greet them because they sounded adorable. I pointed out that it defeated the purpose of leaving the candy out. So I told her to either take the bowl in and just hand it out as the kids came or stop opening the door. She got mad at me for pointing out the not-very-smart nature of her actions.

Every year when Halloween comes around, she's always talking about how someone could use kids as decoys for us to open the door and the adults could rush in once the door's open. The bowl was there to prevent such an occurrence. She was basically "putting herself in danger" last night. Why did I get in trouble for trying to "save her"? -_- So annoyed.

Oh well. At least I enjoyed Halloween with a Scream marathon. I realized I had only watched the first and third installment before yesterday. But going through all four movies was fun. I was so close to getting through all four movies without jumping -w-" Jumped twice during the fourth movie. Rawr. So close. Anyway, yay for meta comedy horror!


Ooh, btw, I celebrated Brother's birthday with his friends for the first time on Monday. We went to Grill 'Em Steakhouse. It was interesting to watch him get drunker as the night went on. I met his friends, but I didn't really talk to any of them. I was being the oddball, quiet younger sister. It was awkward. I really didn't try to talk to anyone. Maybe I should have tried. Oh well. What's done is done.

At least Brother was happy I was there :) So the awkwardness was worth it, I guess haha.


Anyway, two months until 2013 starts. 2012 has flown by so quickly. I still remember the events of this year so well. It's been a life-changing year. Well, just like any other, but more so in certain aspects of my life. More dancing. More awareness. More positive feelings and mindset. More getting-to-a-good-place. But also more irritability. More drama. More loss.

I wonder what 2013 will bring. Probably more of the same haha.