a sick person T-T
So I was feeling a little better today. I went to D's house to eat. Rice and fish. I couldn't finish it, and I don't think my stomach was ready for it either :( Took a little nap. Then my mom drove me home.
I felt every fricking bump in the road. She didn't even gently go over the speed bumps! She braked hard too. Stop-and-go motion. My poor stomach was not happy with any of that. Ugh.
My fever was gone this morning, but now I think it's coming back :( I was really hoping to feel better too -tears- I want to be better, so that I can finally get started on my homework. Mm, I need to go lie down. I was doing so well. I think I just pushed myself to eat solid food too soon. I just couldn't stand the thought of more rice and water. Even that thought makes me feel nauseous right now.
I think my condition is regressing. Great. Baka -_- Damn, damn, damn.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
My mom lost my favorite cap...
in O Connor Hospital on Tuesday :( But the hospital just called and said they found my hat and I can go pick it up haha.
Anyway, I haven't been feeling well. Tummy ache, headache, dizziness, fever, and stuff. So I stayed home from school yesterday, and I'm staying home today as well. Been staying in bed as much as possible. Missing out on lots of stuff in school. Man, the last time I stayed home from school because I was sick was back in kindergarten when I got the chickenpox haha.
So on Tuesday, I went to the family doctor because I had had a stomachache since Sunday. They were surprised that I kept going to school even though I wasn't feeling well (c'mon, two weeks! I've got a speech, essays, and finals). The doctors were afraid that I might have appendicitis or something, so they sent me to the hospital. Two-hour wait! Ahh..
My mom didn't like that there were so many Mexicans in the hospital because of the whole swine flu thing -__- Man, she needs to chill out. Just because they're Mexican doesn't mean they're automatically infected.
Anyway, the hospital labeled me "male" because the receptionist thought I was a guy. Must be the hair. But that was corrected when I went to get an ultrasound of my appendix.
The doctors tested my blood and urine. All normal. They didn't know what was causing my abdominal pain and sent me home, telling me to buy Tylenol. Told me to come back in a week if I didn't get better or if I got worse. Hmm. And it was so frickin cold in the hospital, but I wasn't allowed to cover up because of the fever.
And right now, I'm sooo damn hungry, but all I'm allowed to eat is a mix of rice and water (the Viet version of gruel XP). I've been craving steak for days, but the doctors are afraid meat would affect my stomachache badly. So I have to wait another day.
Grr. I hope I feel better by like tonight or something, so I can eat better-tasting food. I can't even finish the rice and water because it tastes so gross to me now. If I was sick with the flu, then it would taste great. But I don't have the flu (I don't know what I have), so it tastes disgusting.
Ahh.. I have hella homework to catch up on this weekend. I haven't been able to do any homework because I can't focus on anything but the aches. And gah! On Tuesday, in English, I realized I wrote down the wrong due date for my English essay. Instead of being due on May 12th, it's due on May 5th -__- Next Tuesday. That means I gotta get started and finish this weekend. My Poli Sci speech is on the same day. And my Poli Sci paper is due Thursday (need to do it this weekend too!). Grr, so much stuff, and I don't even know if I'll feel well enough to do it all this weekend. This is why I shouldn't put things off because something might happen at the last minute. But I can't focus when I get started early.
Ahh. Just two more weeks. Two more. Please let me finish and do well. And feel well.
I wish I could eat better food. The rice makes me wanna gag -__-
I've also been drinking Pedialyte. Mother keeps calling it "puddalite," so it sounds more like "Budlite." Oh yeah, they're giving me beer to cure whatever I have.
Mm k, there is more I could say, but I don't feel very well, sitting up for so long -_- So I'm gonna go watch TV in bed haha. Though, basic satellite channels doesn't give me much variety. Oh, the consequences of saving money :P
Anyway, I haven't been feeling well. Tummy ache, headache, dizziness, fever, and stuff. So I stayed home from school yesterday, and I'm staying home today as well. Been staying in bed as much as possible. Missing out on lots of stuff in school. Man, the last time I stayed home from school because I was sick was back in kindergarten when I got the chickenpox haha.
So on Tuesday, I went to the family doctor because I had had a stomachache since Sunday. They were surprised that I kept going to school even though I wasn't feeling well (c'mon, two weeks! I've got a speech, essays, and finals). The doctors were afraid that I might have appendicitis or something, so they sent me to the hospital. Two-hour wait! Ahh..
My mom didn't like that there were so many Mexicans in the hospital because of the whole swine flu thing -__- Man, she needs to chill out. Just because they're Mexican doesn't mean they're automatically infected.
Anyway, the hospital labeled me "male" because the receptionist thought I was a guy. Must be the hair. But that was corrected when I went to get an ultrasound of my appendix.
The doctors tested my blood and urine. All normal. They didn't know what was causing my abdominal pain and sent me home, telling me to buy Tylenol. Told me to come back in a week if I didn't get better or if I got worse. Hmm. And it was so frickin cold in the hospital, but I wasn't allowed to cover up because of the fever.
And right now, I'm sooo damn hungry, but all I'm allowed to eat is a mix of rice and water (the Viet version of gruel XP). I've been craving steak for days, but the doctors are afraid meat would affect my stomachache badly. So I have to wait another day.
Grr. I hope I feel better by like tonight or something, so I can eat better-tasting food. I can't even finish the rice and water because it tastes so gross to me now. If I was sick with the flu, then it would taste great. But I don't have the flu (I don't know what I have), so it tastes disgusting.
Ahh.. I have hella homework to catch up on this weekend. I haven't been able to do any homework because I can't focus on anything but the aches. And gah! On Tuesday, in English, I realized I wrote down the wrong due date for my English essay. Instead of being due on May 12th, it's due on May 5th -__- Next Tuesday. That means I gotta get started and finish this weekend. My Poli Sci speech is on the same day. And my Poli Sci paper is due Thursday (need to do it this weekend too!). Grr, so much stuff, and I don't even know if I'll feel well enough to do it all this weekend. This is why I shouldn't put things off because something might happen at the last minute. But I can't focus when I get started early.
Ahh. Just two more weeks. Two more. Please let me finish and do well. And feel well.
I wish I could eat better food. The rice makes me wanna gag -__-
I've also been drinking Pedialyte. Mother keeps calling it "puddalite," so it sounds more like "Budlite." Oh yeah, they're giving me beer to cure whatever I have.
Mm k, there is more I could say, but I don't feel very well, sitting up for so long -_- So I'm gonna go watch TV in bed haha. Though, basic satellite channels doesn't give me much variety. Oh, the consequences of saving money :P
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Hypocrisy in moderation
Is such a thing possible? Who knows?
Since I got the car, we've had to buy: registration ($128), seat covers(~$50), a steering wheel cover ($8), four used tires ($160), an air filter ($4), and a quart of Pennzoil ($4). So we've spent about $354 so far on the Cressida, just to make it safer and a bit more presentable. Oh yeah, and we have to pay for insurance (~$330/month for the Cressida, but adding it to the policy allows us to pay $100 less in total now).
Lots of numbers, I know. But there's a point: My mother still finds a reason to complain about how much we're spending on the car. Hmm, a couple hundred on an '88 Cressida that we basically got for free versus $2,000-3,000 for a car that's not always guaranteed to be in such a great condition as the Cressida is.
She keeps saying that we're spending too much money on things that we don't need (e.g. seat covers and tires). The seats are shredded, and the tires were nearly bald. Need I say more.
And pointless spending, really? She's spent plenty of money on stuff she saw on the Shopping Network channels! We don't need any of that crap.
She won't even buy me juice anymore. But that's fine. I can live without juice at home. I need to drink more water anyway.
Ahh, but I'll stop complaining haha.
Other than the stuff that we've bought for the car, we haven't really spent money on anything except for gas. And this car originally got about 22 mpg but now only gets about 12 mpg. But that loss is to be expected of almost any car really.
Haha I'm already kinda starting to think of this car as "my baby" XP Still got a lot of power to it, and hopefully it will keep that power for at least the next couple of months or year.
Just need to add in some stuff, and it will be all good haha. Brother is gonna ask his friends for spare decks, check Craigslist for speakers, and go to a junkyard to find whatever parts need to be replaced (center compartment lid, carjack, lug wrench, some air hose thing). We might fix the A/C, depending on if it's damaged or not. I don't really know.
But what I do know now is how to check the radiator and the oils. The car leaks oil, so yeah.
Overall, I like this car. I really do. Not really because of its aesthetics or anything (I couldn't care less). It's just it's here for me, and I can finally really drive myself, as long as I'm allowed to go out.
Hah, I can't get over that. I can drive myself. Though, I guess I shouldn't drive too much, since it doesn't get that much mileage XP but still, you know, the thought of driving myself is nice.
Ok, I'll try not to make the next post about my baby haha. I need to talk about other stuff :P like how I'm gonna be staying up hella late for the next two weeks for school work. My hard work amazes me hahaha. I'm gonna try to get something done this week before the weekend starts. I just need to feel less tired. I might have to break my energy drink deprivation. Or try that 5-Hour Energy shot (The online reviews seem to be concentrated at both ends of the good/bad spectrum though. I'll just try one or two to see if it works well).
Yeah, ok. Sleeeep. Well, it's still early, but I'm exhausted. I've been really exhausted this weekend, more than usual. Like I can barely stay awake when 8 PM comes around. And I haven't done too much, except drive around SJ to buy stuff. That could be why I'm so tired: low energy output.
Just about 2.5 more school weeks, and I'll be done. With good grades hopefully. And possibly a summer job opportunity if I get off my butt and try.
If not, I'll get off my butt and work on increasing my energy output :P
Not much homework done this weekend haha. My fault. I just need to stop reading for recreation and start doing my homework instead haha.
Ahh, too bad I can't go to bed now. I have to pick the brother up at 10. And I don't think I'd be able to get up in an hour.
Hmm, I don't really have anything to do online anymore, except logging on AIM, checking email, and updating this blog. I don't even know how Facebook and Myspace took up so much of my time. I didn't do much, except send messages and post comments. Ah, well, they're out of my life for now. So no more. I don't even stay on the computer much. I turn it on and leave it alone more now. Eventually, I might just turn it on for homework :O Crazy thought.
Haha no, it's not gonna happen. I turn it on "for homework" now, but I end up not doing it and stare at the screen (or listen/dance to music or leave to nap).
Geez, what am I doing??
Since I got the car, we've had to buy: registration ($128), seat covers(~$50), a steering wheel cover ($8), four used tires ($160), an air filter ($4), and a quart of Pennzoil ($4). So we've spent about $354 so far on the Cressida, just to make it safer and a bit more presentable. Oh yeah, and we have to pay for insurance (~$330/month for the Cressida, but adding it to the policy allows us to pay $100 less in total now).
Lots of numbers, I know. But there's a point: My mother still finds a reason to complain about how much we're spending on the car. Hmm, a couple hundred on an '88 Cressida that we basically got for free versus $2,000-3,000 for a car that's not always guaranteed to be in such a great condition as the Cressida is.
She keeps saying that we're spending too much money on things that we don't need (e.g. seat covers and tires). The seats are shredded, and the tires were nearly bald. Need I say more.
And pointless spending, really? She's spent plenty of money on stuff she saw on the Shopping Network channels! We don't need any of that crap.
She won't even buy me juice anymore. But that's fine. I can live without juice at home. I need to drink more water anyway.
Ahh, but I'll stop complaining haha.
Other than the stuff that we've bought for the car, we haven't really spent money on anything except for gas. And this car originally got about 22 mpg but now only gets about 12 mpg. But that loss is to be expected of almost any car really.
Haha I'm already kinda starting to think of this car as "my baby" XP Still got a lot of power to it, and hopefully it will keep that power for at least the next couple of months or year.
Just need to add in some stuff, and it will be all good haha. Brother is gonna ask his friends for spare decks, check Craigslist for speakers, and go to a junkyard to find whatever parts need to be replaced (center compartment lid, carjack, lug wrench, some air hose thing). We might fix the A/C, depending on if it's damaged or not. I don't really know.
But what I do know now is how to check the radiator and the oils. The car leaks oil, so yeah.
Overall, I like this car. I really do. Not really because of its aesthetics or anything (I couldn't care less). It's just it's here for me, and I can finally really drive myself, as long as I'm allowed to go out.
Hah, I can't get over that. I can drive myself. Though, I guess I shouldn't drive too much, since it doesn't get that much mileage XP but still, you know, the thought of driving myself is nice.
Ok, I'll try not to make the next post about my baby haha. I need to talk about other stuff :P like how I'm gonna be staying up hella late for the next two weeks for school work. My hard work amazes me hahaha. I'm gonna try to get something done this week before the weekend starts. I just need to feel less tired. I might have to break my energy drink deprivation. Or try that 5-Hour Energy shot (The online reviews seem to be concentrated at both ends of the good/bad spectrum though. I'll just try one or two to see if it works well).
Yeah, ok. Sleeeep. Well, it's still early, but I'm exhausted. I've been really exhausted this weekend, more than usual. Like I can barely stay awake when 8 PM comes around. And I haven't done too much, except drive around SJ to buy stuff. That could be why I'm so tired: low energy output.
Just about 2.5 more school weeks, and I'll be done. With good grades hopefully. And possibly a summer job opportunity if I get off my butt and try.
If not, I'll get off my butt and work on increasing my energy output :P
Not much homework done this weekend haha. My fault. I just need to stop reading for recreation and start doing my homework instead haha.
Ahh, too bad I can't go to bed now. I have to pick the brother up at 10. And I don't think I'd be able to get up in an hour.
Hmm, I don't really have anything to do online anymore, except logging on AIM, checking email, and updating this blog. I don't even know how Facebook and Myspace took up so much of my time. I didn't do much, except send messages and post comments. Ah, well, they're out of my life for now. So no more. I don't even stay on the computer much. I turn it on and leave it alone more now. Eventually, I might just turn it on for homework :O Crazy thought.
Haha no, it's not gonna happen. I turn it on "for homework" now, but I end up not doing it and stare at the screen (or listen/dance to music or leave to nap).
Geez, what am I doing??
Friday, April 24, 2009
I drove the Cressida.
So I went to go get new (used) wheels for the car with D. I got to drive. Pretty awesome. The accelerator is a little stiff, and the car kinda veers to the right, but it's all good. Need to get a realignment. Other stuff, good. Good brakes. The fan works. There's power.
Just need to buy seat covers because the seats are ripped up. Need a steering wheel cover. Someone used black duct tape on the steering wheel, so it's kinda sticky/nasty -_- haha. Also need to get front wheels. The Calderon place on Monterey Rd only had two wheels that fit.
And when Tony has time, he'll clean the car for me :P The outside is clean, but definitely not the inside.
We also need to get the car checked a bit more. Gaskets, coolants, oil, etc. If the car gets an ok, we'll slowly add in A/C and a stereo. If not, that's ok. I just need to get around more easily.
Just need to buy seat covers because the seats are ripped up. Need a steering wheel cover. Someone used black duct tape on the steering wheel, so it's kinda sticky/nasty -_- haha. Also need to get front wheels. The Calderon place on Monterey Rd only had two wheels that fit.
And when Tony has time, he'll clean the car for me :P The outside is clean, but definitely not the inside.
We also need to get the car checked a bit more. Gaskets, coolants, oil, etc. If the car gets an ok, we'll slowly add in A/C and a stereo. If not, that's ok. I just need to get around more easily.
There's no car plan.
So the car is now registered under D's name (and I'm gonna call him D again because I can't get used to B haha), just like the Avalon is. He's gonna add it into his insurance so that I can drive it too.
My mom hella hates the car because it's old and beat up -_- At least it works. She wants us to sell the car to the government.
And now she and D are arguing because of the fucking car..
She needs to shut the fuck up.. Only reason D ever yells is because she fuckin yells first. Blowing shit out of proportion..
I wish I could tell her to stop bitching. Bitching makes other people just as bitchy as you are. We don't need this.
I just need a car. The Cressida is a car. It's old, and it's got problems. What car wouldn't? It can just be a temporary ride until we can afford a better car. We've established that already. She already agreed. Yet, she's still gonna muck up the fuckin conversation.
Grr. I hate being angry. Especially about something as stupid as this. As stupid as she's making the situation. Why can't she just calm the fuck down and accept the car? Temporary. That's all. If it gets into an accident or it breaks down, obviously I won't drive it anymore.
I don't really care what kinda car it is, as long as I can get myself to places. That's the part she doesn't get. It's not safe, I know. But getting into any car is never completely safe. There are always risks. The chances of surviving those risks varies.
Haha she needs to take a chill pill. HappySlip must make those chill pills real.
Anyway, back to what I was originally going to say before people starting arguing.
I'll start driving the car, getting used to it. Use it when I need it, yada yada. Not sure if we'll still have this car in a year or so. But that doesn't matter. Just a temporary solution to my ride situation. Things will work themselves out over time. We just gotta be patient and wait for things to come.
Hmm, it's a RWD, so I'll have to get used to that as well. I have only driven FWD cars. Apparently, RWDs skid more easily. Yay drifting :P hahaha.
Hm, I was gonna say something else about the car, but I don't remember XP We'll just see what happens with the car. For all I know, we might sell the car and buy a Civic or something. Whatever, I really don't care, as long as I get to drive myself most of the time.
It's the weekend. Hopefully, I get some homework done. At least get started on the big assignments. I need to. Only 2.5 weeks left of school. Lots of work. And finals. Ugh. I'll probably pull 2 or 3 all-nighters in the next two weeks for my homework -_- Damn my laziness haha.
And today is the VSA/Key Club game day. I hope I get to go. But she's probably gonna yell at me. When she's pissed about one thing, she gets pissed about everything and tries to find an excuse to stay angry. So fucked up. But whatever. I'll deal.
I really don't know why she keeps complaining. She's worried about wasting money on the car because we do have to change or fix a few small things for it to be better functionally. What she doesn't seem to get is that we basically got the car for free. Of course, if we get an old, free car, there's gonna be problems. No fuckin duh. The amount of money we put into the car will be just about the same as if we had bought a $2-3,000 car. If the amount goes over 2,000, we can sell the fuckin car and get a new one. It's all possible. So she needs to stop bitching.
It's the appearance of the car that gets to her. She keeps complaining about that too. Fuck. It's just a car. "Girls don't drive this car." Well, I'm me, not girls. I could care less.
Gah, I wish she would just shut up. We got it. We got what she's saying. Why does she feel the need to repeat herself OVER AND FUCKIN OVER?? Ugh..
I need some quiet time. I have to get out. I need quiet. I need silence. I need calm. Quiet, silence, calm, peace, no emotion. Please. I don't want to feel like this all the time. Ugh. And I still really need to do my homework, but how can I concentrate when she keeps interrupting my work just so she can bitch?
Grr. We need to stop being so angry. Over a damn car. How much more idiotic can we get, really?
My mom hella hates the car because it's old and beat up -_- At least it works. She wants us to sell the car to the government.
And now she and D are arguing because of the fucking car..
She needs to shut the fuck up.. Only reason D ever yells is because she fuckin yells first. Blowing shit out of proportion..
I wish I could tell her to stop bitching. Bitching makes other people just as bitchy as you are. We don't need this.
I just need a car. The Cressida is a car. It's old, and it's got problems. What car wouldn't? It can just be a temporary ride until we can afford a better car. We've established that already. She already agreed. Yet, she's still gonna muck up the fuckin conversation.
Grr. I hate being angry. Especially about something as stupid as this. As stupid as she's making the situation. Why can't she just calm the fuck down and accept the car? Temporary. That's all. If it gets into an accident or it breaks down, obviously I won't drive it anymore.
I don't really care what kinda car it is, as long as I can get myself to places. That's the part she doesn't get. It's not safe, I know. But getting into any car is never completely safe. There are always risks. The chances of surviving those risks varies.
Haha she needs to take a chill pill. HappySlip must make those chill pills real.
Anyway, back to what I was originally going to say before people starting arguing.
I'll start driving the car, getting used to it. Use it when I need it, yada yada. Not sure if we'll still have this car in a year or so. But that doesn't matter. Just a temporary solution to my ride situation. Things will work themselves out over time. We just gotta be patient and wait for things to come.
Hmm, it's a RWD, so I'll have to get used to that as well. I have only driven FWD cars. Apparently, RWDs skid more easily. Yay drifting :P hahaha.
Hm, I was gonna say something else about the car, but I don't remember XP We'll just see what happens with the car. For all I know, we might sell the car and buy a Civic or something. Whatever, I really don't care, as long as I get to drive myself most of the time.
It's the weekend. Hopefully, I get some homework done. At least get started on the big assignments. I need to. Only 2.5 weeks left of school. Lots of work. And finals. Ugh. I'll probably pull 2 or 3 all-nighters in the next two weeks for my homework -_- Damn my laziness haha.
And today is the VSA/Key Club game day. I hope I get to go. But she's probably gonna yell at me. When she's pissed about one thing, she gets pissed about everything and tries to find an excuse to stay angry. So fucked up. But whatever. I'll deal.
I really don't know why she keeps complaining. She's worried about wasting money on the car because we do have to change or fix a few small things for it to be better functionally. What she doesn't seem to get is that we basically got the car for free. Of course, if we get an old, free car, there's gonna be problems. No fuckin duh. The amount of money we put into the car will be just about the same as if we had bought a $2-3,000 car. If the amount goes over 2,000, we can sell the fuckin car and get a new one. It's all possible. So she needs to stop bitching.
It's the appearance of the car that gets to her. She keeps complaining about that too. Fuck. It's just a car. "Girls don't drive this car." Well, I'm me, not girls. I could care less.
Gah, I wish she would just shut up. We got it. We got what she's saying. Why does she feel the need to repeat herself OVER AND FUCKIN OVER?? Ugh..
I need some quiet time. I have to get out. I need quiet. I need silence. I need calm. Quiet, silence, calm, peace, no emotion. Please. I don't want to feel like this all the time. Ugh. And I still really need to do my homework, but how can I concentrate when she keeps interrupting my work just so she can bitch?
Grr. We need to stop being so angry. Over a damn car. How much more idiotic can we get, really?
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Am I finally getting my own car?
It's apparently a very complicated process.
Short story: My brother's friend gave him an old silver '88 Toyota Cressida. My brother obviously can't drive any time soon with his record. So the logical thing to do is give me the car, so that I can drive without waiting for my mom. We just don't know how all the legal stuff is gonna work yet.
Transferring names, settling insurance stuff, etc etc. Complicated.
4:49 PM Edit: So I went to see the car. Damn, my brother was not kidding when he said the car was hella beat up haha. Dents, shredded backseat, no radio/speakers, no A/C. Needs new tires too. But at least it's still in working condition (it's still got power). I don't really care what it looks like as long as it works and no one's gonna jack it. And I'm hoping no one's gonna jack a 21-year-old car :P We're barely gonna put money into it. Just enough to make it work and be comfortable during the summer and such.
I hope I get this car. The alternative option is we sell it for $500. If I get this car, I would no longer have to rely on my mom for rides. I don't have to wait! haha. Plus, I can go to school later in the day.
The only reason I've been going to school at 9 every day was because it didn't conflict with my mom's stuff.
I've been saying I need a car. Really just for convenience. If I could, I would ride my bike everywhere, but apparently that's not convenient or safe -_- So car it is.
I don't think I was very excited when my brother told me about the car. I was just like whatever, that's cool. But after like half an hour, I started to perk up because my own car would finally mean some independence and freedom. I can drive myself places. I only have to ask my mom if I can go somewhere. I don't really need to ask anyone for a ride anymore, unless I'm carpooling.
Oh, the benefits are great. I just hope I don't get disappointed.
I just really want to get to places on my own. I don't wanna keep relying on my mom driving me everywhere. And I seriously don't care if my car looks ghetto or whatever. It's transportation. Hopefully, cheap enough.
Anyway, yeah, fun stuff. Haha I can get myself to places at any time almost. Still need to ask for permission I guess XP But yeah. I can take my time, instead of worry about how long I have to wait or how long I'm gonna make my mom wait for me.
I hope this all works out. It would make life a little easier. Faster. Less contentious. I wouldn't have to sit through one of my mom's silent treatments or whatever moods. At least not as often as I do now. That is definitely an upside to this car. Please let this car be a good car. Few repairs and all. Even though it's over 20 years old. I just want as little trouble as possible. Cheap as possible haha because I don't work yet. Maybe I'll manage to get a job for the summer XP haha. That would be amazing. More independence. I wouldn't rely on my mom for too much. I could contribute.
Ahh, I'm happy for now. Just the promise of my own ride is a nice and comforting thought. I would still have to drive my brother around, but it's all good. It's because of him and his friend that I might get a car. I don't have to wait.
Can you tell that I'm excited about not waiting too much anymore? haha. I can save time and stuff like that. It's just easier. Or it seems like it. I hope it will be.
And hey, I can repay all the people who has ever given me a ride by offering rides when they need them :D I hate that the only way I can repay is buy them food. My mom never wanted to drive my friends anywhere, and I always felt hella bad for it because my friends always gave me rides. My way of showing gratitude, yeah? haha.
Mm, don't know what else to say. Not much to say, I guess. I hope I won't be disappointed. It happens too often in my opinion haha. My mom or brother promise me something and then take it back. It sucks. I try not to look forward to stuff too much because I don't like what usually happens. I can only hope things will be good. And I know my brother will probably take the car back for himself in one or two years. And that's ok with me. As long as I can drive myself for a while, it's all good. Just don't take the car away from me immediately.
Hmm, we'll see what happens.
No stupid shit, please.
No take-backs, you-don't-deserve-it's, or whatever.
No bullshit.
9:28 PM Edit: I failed to mention that my brother will probably drive the car when my mom's not home -__- So much for it being just my car XP haha whatever. As long as I get first priority, it's all good.
Short story: My brother's friend gave him an old silver '88 Toyota Cressida. My brother obviously can't drive any time soon with his record. So the logical thing to do is give me the car, so that I can drive without waiting for my mom. We just don't know how all the legal stuff is gonna work yet.
Transferring names, settling insurance stuff, etc etc. Complicated.
4:49 PM Edit: So I went to see the car. Damn, my brother was not kidding when he said the car was hella beat up haha. Dents, shredded backseat, no radio/speakers, no A/C. Needs new tires too. But at least it's still in working condition (it's still got power). I don't really care what it looks like as long as it works and no one's gonna jack it. And I'm hoping no one's gonna jack a 21-year-old car :P We're barely gonna put money into it. Just enough to make it work and be comfortable during the summer and such.
I hope I get this car. The alternative option is we sell it for $500. If I get this car, I would no longer have to rely on my mom for rides. I don't have to wait! haha. Plus, I can go to school later in the day.
The only reason I've been going to school at 9 every day was because it didn't conflict with my mom's stuff.
I've been saying I need a car. Really just for convenience. If I could, I would ride my bike everywhere, but apparently that's not convenient or safe -_- So car it is.
I don't think I was very excited when my brother told me about the car. I was just like whatever, that's cool. But after like half an hour, I started to perk up because my own car would finally mean some independence and freedom. I can drive myself places. I only have to ask my mom if I can go somewhere. I don't really need to ask anyone for a ride anymore, unless I'm carpooling.
Oh, the benefits are great. I just hope I don't get disappointed.
I just really want to get to places on my own. I don't wanna keep relying on my mom driving me everywhere. And I seriously don't care if my car looks ghetto or whatever. It's transportation. Hopefully, cheap enough.
Anyway, yeah, fun stuff. Haha I can get myself to places at any time almost. Still need to ask for permission I guess XP But yeah. I can take my time, instead of worry about how long I have to wait or how long I'm gonna make my mom wait for me.
I hope this all works out. It would make life a little easier. Faster. Less contentious. I wouldn't have to sit through one of my mom's silent treatments or whatever moods. At least not as often as I do now. That is definitely an upside to this car. Please let this car be a good car. Few repairs and all. Even though it's over 20 years old. I just want as little trouble as possible. Cheap as possible haha because I don't work yet. Maybe I'll manage to get a job for the summer XP haha. That would be amazing. More independence. I wouldn't rely on my mom for too much. I could contribute.
Ahh, I'm happy for now. Just the promise of my own ride is a nice and comforting thought. I would still have to drive my brother around, but it's all good. It's because of him and his friend that I might get a car. I don't have to wait.
Can you tell that I'm excited about not waiting too much anymore? haha. I can save time and stuff like that. It's just easier. Or it seems like it. I hope it will be.
And hey, I can repay all the people who has ever given me a ride by offering rides when they need them :D I hate that the only way I can repay is buy them food. My mom never wanted to drive my friends anywhere, and I always felt hella bad for it because my friends always gave me rides. My way of showing gratitude, yeah? haha.
Mm, don't know what else to say. Not much to say, I guess. I hope I won't be disappointed. It happens too often in my opinion haha. My mom or brother promise me something and then take it back. It sucks. I try not to look forward to stuff too much because I don't like what usually happens. I can only hope things will be good. And I know my brother will probably take the car back for himself in one or two years. And that's ok with me. As long as I can drive myself for a while, it's all good. Just don't take the car away from me immediately.
Hmm, we'll see what happens.
No stupid shit, please.
No take-backs, you-don't-deserve-it's, or whatever.
No bullshit.
9:28 PM Edit: I failed to mention that my brother will probably drive the car when my mom's not home -__- So much for it being just my car XP haha whatever. As long as I get first priority, it's all good.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Deleted two
Ok, so I just deleted my Myspace. I just decided to do it. No more stalling. Now, I'm waiting for the liberated feeling to kick in :P
I'm sure the feeling will kick in tomorrow or the day after. No more logging on. Woo. Just got AIM, Gmail, and Blogger. Yeah. Fun stuff.
Ok, back to work.
I'm sure the feeling will kick in tomorrow or the day after. No more logging on. Woo. Just got AIM, Gmail, and Blogger. Yeah. Fun stuff.
Ok, back to work.
Deleted one
Well, I deleted my Facebook. I don't feel liberated yet haha. But I received a couple of people's contact info, so it's all good. No more Facebook addiction. I just have to get used to not logging on anymore.
I will probably delete my Myspace tonight or tomorrow. Depends on if Vicky ever replies. She better.
After I delete my Myspace, I won't have anything to be addicted to, except for AIM (though, I don't log on as much anymore. I should though, I guess) and gmail.
Hmm, ST VSA and Key Club are having a game day thing at Cahalan Park on Friday to raise money for Relay for Life, I think. I wanna go :D I might, but I have my Anthropology Q&A session this Friday. I don't remember what time. We'll see if I go. I wanna chill with the youngin's haha.
Maggie invited me up to Davis on Friday too, but my mom is not gonna let me go because she's hella paranoid right now. Stuff happened yesterday morning at 2, and yeah, not good. Extra paranoia, especially since it seems the police won't/can't do anything. <-- I was gonna update about yesterday, but I didn't know what to say :/ Oh well.
There's gonna be something else happening on Friday, but I don't remember. But yeah, I'll most likely go to the game day at the park just to show some love and support. And Maggie, maybe I'll visit you in Davis during the summer since you're gonna stay up there XP
Anyway, I have two big essays to work on for the next two weeks. Lots of reading needing to be done before I can actually start writing. 47 pages of legal schtuff T-T Soo not cool. I'm sure I'm gonna be putting off both essays until the last minute again -_- It's just in my nature haha. Plus, the heat isn't really helping me. I feel soo tired and lazy (more than usual).
I'm trying to get some homework done right now. English stuff. I just need a day or two, where I don't have any homework. That way, I can do all the reading I need to do before I start writing the papers. Oh, that would be marvellous!
And you know what? All weekend, I was thinking there's four weeks of school left. But really it's only 3!! Amazing. I don't know how I could miscount the weeks. Unless I was including the week of my last final haha. Yeaah, I don't know.
Important school dates:
Anth Q&A Session -- 4/24
Poli Sci Oral Argument -- 5/5
Poli Sci Final Paper -- 5/7
English Final -- 5/9
English Essay 5 -- 5/12
Last Day of Instruction -- 5/13
EDCO Final -- 5/15
Anth Final -- 5/18
After my Anthro final, I'm gonna go visit ST. Chyeah! Well, sometime after it, possibly with Albert and Lisa. Maybe other people. We'll see.
I can't believe our first year of college is almost over. Crazy, just crazy. It went by so fast. So much has happened, yet not enough has.
The summer shall be better. I hope. I hope my friends will make things better haha. Then next year shall be better. I'll participate more.
I always say I'll participate more later, but then I don't haha. But I will try, fa sho. I'll join VSA and do more. I'll join QTIP. I'll make more friends on campus. I need more friends. I feel like such a loner haha. I definitely need to get to know more people. Get me a girlfriend and I'll be happy hahaha :P
I just need more friends to hang out with. Don't have to be from SJSU. I just need to chill with people. I need fun, in any way, shape, or form.
3 more weeks. I'm happy about that. I'm just not happy about all the work I have to do in the next 3 weeks XP Soo much. It's all crammed in. I don't know how I'm gonna survive haha. Maybe I'll make it through with all-nighters and caffeine, and then the day after the last final, I'll just crash real hard. Then I'll be back to normal haha.
And oh my gahhh.. I can feel the heat radiating from my body -__- So glad it's gonna be back in the 70's tomorrow. I like cooler air.
Ok, back to work. Then sleep. I'm probably not gonna get a start on my reading until the weekend. Damn my laziness.
I will probably delete my Myspace tonight or tomorrow. Depends on if Vicky ever replies. She better.
After I delete my Myspace, I won't have anything to be addicted to, except for AIM (though, I don't log on as much anymore. I should though, I guess) and gmail.
Hmm, ST VSA and Key Club are having a game day thing at Cahalan Park on Friday to raise money for Relay for Life, I think. I wanna go :D I might, but I have my Anthropology Q&A session this Friday. I don't remember what time. We'll see if I go. I wanna chill with the youngin's haha.
Maggie invited me up to Davis on Friday too, but my mom is not gonna let me go because she's hella paranoid right now. Stuff happened yesterday morning at 2, and yeah, not good. Extra paranoia, especially since it seems the police won't/can't do anything. <-- I was gonna update about yesterday, but I didn't know what to say :/ Oh well.
There's gonna be something else happening on Friday, but I don't remember. But yeah, I'll most likely go to the game day at the park just to show some love and support. And Maggie, maybe I'll visit you in Davis during the summer since you're gonna stay up there XP
Anyway, I have two big essays to work on for the next two weeks. Lots of reading needing to be done before I can actually start writing. 47 pages of legal schtuff T-T Soo not cool. I'm sure I'm gonna be putting off both essays until the last minute again -_- It's just in my nature haha. Plus, the heat isn't really helping me. I feel soo tired and lazy (more than usual).
I'm trying to get some homework done right now. English stuff. I just need a day or two, where I don't have any homework. That way, I can do all the reading I need to do before I start writing the papers. Oh, that would be marvellous!
And you know what? All weekend, I was thinking there's four weeks of school left. But really it's only 3!! Amazing. I don't know how I could miscount the weeks. Unless I was including the week of my last final haha. Yeaah, I don't know.
Important school dates:
Anth Q&A Session -- 4/24
Poli Sci Oral Argument -- 5/5
Poli Sci Final Paper -- 5/7
English Final -- 5/9
English Essay 5 -- 5/12
Last Day of Instruction -- 5/13
EDCO Final -- 5/15
Anth Final -- 5/18
After my Anthro final, I'm gonna go visit ST. Chyeah! Well, sometime after it, possibly with Albert and Lisa. Maybe other people. We'll see.
I can't believe our first year of college is almost over. Crazy, just crazy. It went by so fast. So much has happened, yet not enough has.
The summer shall be better. I hope. I hope my friends will make things better haha. Then next year shall be better. I'll participate more.
I always say I'll participate more later, but then I don't haha. But I will try, fa sho. I'll join VSA and do more. I'll join QTIP. I'll make more friends on campus. I need more friends. I feel like such a loner haha. I definitely need to get to know more people. Get me a girlfriend and I'll be happy hahaha :P
I just need more friends to hang out with. Don't have to be from SJSU. I just need to chill with people. I need fun, in any way, shape, or form.
3 more weeks. I'm happy about that. I'm just not happy about all the work I have to do in the next 3 weeks XP Soo much. It's all crammed in. I don't know how I'm gonna survive haha. Maybe I'll make it through with all-nighters and caffeine, and then the day after the last final, I'll just crash real hard. Then I'll be back to normal haha.
And oh my gahhh.. I can feel the heat radiating from my body -__- So glad it's gonna be back in the 70's tomorrow. I like cooler air.
Ok, back to work. Then sleep. I'm probably not gonna get a start on my reading until the weekend. Damn my laziness.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
Delete delete delete...
I feel like getting rid of my Myspace and Facebook.
I originally got a Myspace to listen to new music and later a Facebook to keep in touch with my friends.
I don't do much of either anymore.
If I get rid of them, I will pretty much lose touch with everyone I used to talk to. But I don't talk to anyone enough for them to notice if my pages just disappeared. I wonder if anyone would say anything. I mean, it's not that important. And I'm really only messaging with one person, and that's Karissa, whom I have met but never spoken to. Everyone else I've been exchanging messages with online hasn't been replying for a long time.
I don't go on AIM very often anymore. People don't log on much or say much to me. Everyone's on Facebook. Got some people on Myspace occasionally.
It's sad that social networks are the only way I keep in touch with people. Then again, we're all separated, and I'm not a phone person. So it makes sense to use Myspace and Facebook to talk to them. And everything is online now, all on FB and stuff. Information about events, birthdays, everyday stuff. They're all updated on Facebook. I delete Fb; I delete my social planner.
I don't know why this feels like such a big decision. It's just Myspace and Facebook. This shouldn't be such a major decision. There are people who can live without these websites. Why can't I?
I hate that we're so dependent on the Internet to maintain our friendships. I know it's my fault that I feel alone. But I feel like my spending time on those websites contributes to my loneliness. I'm always waiting for messages, sitting in front of this desktop and hoping for a reply. I don't like that I log on just to check for messages and comments. That's all I do, and I usually am not satisfied.
I really dislike Myspace and Facebook. However, if I delete my accounts, I will lose touch with the people I've already lost touch with. They're all just faces on the screen now. I hate that.
I think... I will delete my accounts by June. I'll have to ponder this some more. What a dumb thing to be hung up on, but this is the concern of a dumb teenager.
In a way, this is like me losing touch with society. Society is disappointing. I'm disappointing. I'm separating the disappointments? No. I'm losing touch with my old self and being pulled into the future that is now.
Ah, how am I gonna delete my accounts? I have letting-go issues. It was so difficult for me to delete my old Xanga back in 8th grade. I haven't been able to delete Myspace for the past two years (yeah, I've been thinking about it for that long). I have trouble deleting friends from my pages. I always seem to think that if I delete them, they're gonna be gone from my life forever. Or I think if I leave them there, they might one day talk to me again. But they don't talk to me anymore. They don't even reply when I try.
When I delete friends, I always wish that we will one day speak again, like we used to or like we should... Yeah, I think I've got some serious problems in the head.
I think I will try to delete my accounts. Within the next 2 months. I hope it will be liberating and not too painful haha.
And gosh, I really wish my headache would go away :(
I originally got a Myspace to listen to new music and later a Facebook to keep in touch with my friends.
I don't do much of either anymore.
If I get rid of them, I will pretty much lose touch with everyone I used to talk to. But I don't talk to anyone enough for them to notice if my pages just disappeared. I wonder if anyone would say anything. I mean, it's not that important. And I'm really only messaging with one person, and that's Karissa, whom I have met but never spoken to. Everyone else I've been exchanging messages with online hasn't been replying for a long time.
I don't go on AIM very often anymore. People don't log on much or say much to me. Everyone's on Facebook. Got some people on Myspace occasionally.
It's sad that social networks are the only way I keep in touch with people. Then again, we're all separated, and I'm not a phone person. So it makes sense to use Myspace and Facebook to talk to them. And everything is online now, all on FB and stuff. Information about events, birthdays, everyday stuff. They're all updated on Facebook. I delete Fb; I delete my social planner.
I don't know why this feels like such a big decision. It's just Myspace and Facebook. This shouldn't be such a major decision. There are people who can live without these websites. Why can't I?
I hate that we're so dependent on the Internet to maintain our friendships. I know it's my fault that I feel alone. But I feel like my spending time on those websites contributes to my loneliness. I'm always waiting for messages, sitting in front of this desktop and hoping for a reply. I don't like that I log on just to check for messages and comments. That's all I do, and I usually am not satisfied.
I really dislike Myspace and Facebook. However, if I delete my accounts, I will lose touch with the people I've already lost touch with. They're all just faces on the screen now. I hate that.
I think... I will delete my accounts by June. I'll have to ponder this some more. What a dumb thing to be hung up on, but this is the concern of a dumb teenager.
In a way, this is like me losing touch with society. Society is disappointing. I'm disappointing. I'm separating the disappointments? No. I'm losing touch with my old self and being pulled into the future that is now.
Ah, how am I gonna delete my accounts? I have letting-go issues. It was so difficult for me to delete my old Xanga back in 8th grade. I haven't been able to delete Myspace for the past two years (yeah, I've been thinking about it for that long). I have trouble deleting friends from my pages. I always seem to think that if I delete them, they're gonna be gone from my life forever. Or I think if I leave them there, they might one day talk to me again. But they don't talk to me anymore. They don't even reply when I try.
When I delete friends, I always wish that we will one day speak again, like we used to or like we should... Yeah, I think I've got some serious problems in the head.
I think I will try to delete my accounts. Within the next 2 months. I hope it will be liberating and not too painful haha.
And gosh, I really wish my headache would go away :(
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
There is no inherent value in the dollar.
If I didn't do things to try to impress people, I don't know what I would be doing.
I've been extremely tired lately. I'm too tired to focus on my work. So I wait for the burst of energy that will get me through my work. I want sleep, but I don't give myself much time for it. I feel like if I stay awake, then I'll get my homework done. But that is definitely not the case. I keep putting my work off until the last minute.
I just need a day where my energy level isn't so low, and I can just get all the work I can out of the way. Weekends would seem to be the best times for this, but I'm just as lazy on weekends. Instead, I wait for someone to invite me to something because I want to get out. I should just get out.
Hmm, so money. The dollar. What about it? I think it's stupid. No, I don't. It's just a piece of linen/cotton/whatever paper. How can paper be stupid?
It's people that are stupid when it comes to money. Money does not have any inherent value. We give it value. We do stupid things for the value that (we believe) exists in money. Why? Because we are idiots and we choose to.
What's worse is that we allow the amount of money we have determine what kinda person that we are. Or that we think we are. Money can only tell us so much about a person. "Classless society" is a utopia. We do not live in a utopia.
Ugh, I'm too exhausted. I keep skipping and omitting words. I just wanted to say that though money facilitates trading of services and goods, people have lost sight of the intentions of the monetary system. We've taken convenience for granted and have made a stronger outlet for greed to come through. I mean, it's easier to steal cash and credit than it is to steal a stereo, clothes, and food.
You steal the stereo; you can sell it. You steal the clothes or the food; you can use/eat them. You steal money; you can spend it on anything. At least when you steal food, you know it's because you're starving. When you steal money, it could be you're hungry, but it could also be you're just too damn selfish.
But hey, who am I to judge?
I'm just feeling down. Reading about people's hardships makes me feel even worse. I can't do anything to help them. I can't even help myself. My mind is feeling so grrr..
Hmm, so I have 9 resolutions left to attempt. The rest I have either accomplished or given up on. I did ten. I took out 4 that I thought were too pointless or hopeless.
1. Choose a major.
2. Meditate at least 15 minutes a day.
5. Get a job.
11. Make at least one YouTube video.
14. Learn how to play a new instrument.
16. Remain calm in all situations.
18. Reconnect and keep in touch with friends.
19. Learn how to read and write Vietnamese better.
22. Stop bringing myself down with my own words.
About half of these are pretty hopeless too, but I'll just leave them there for now.
And I've kinda regressed on the 15 hrs/wk thing for the computer. I'll get back on it in a week or so haha. Hopefully, I will >_>
And I want to add "Get a girlfriend" back to the list haha, even though I had reasoned that it was really hopeless. I've just been feeling more and more alone, especially seeing all these new couples spring up (reminds me of the start of soph year right after Kevin and Rose got together). I just wish I had someone here for me. I just want to be there for someone else too. Well, whether I add it to the list or not, I'm already thinking about it haha.
Even if I think about it, it's not gonna happen. I'm just... too nice. Oh well, I never think highly of myself anyway. I don't know how anyone else would either.
Haha I'm so negative today.
I've been extremely tired lately. I'm too tired to focus on my work. So I wait for the burst of energy that will get me through my work. I want sleep, but I don't give myself much time for it. I feel like if I stay awake, then I'll get my homework done. But that is definitely not the case. I keep putting my work off until the last minute.
I just need a day where my energy level isn't so low, and I can just get all the work I can out of the way. Weekends would seem to be the best times for this, but I'm just as lazy on weekends. Instead, I wait for someone to invite me to something because I want to get out. I should just get out.
Hmm, so money. The dollar. What about it? I think it's stupid. No, I don't. It's just a piece of linen/cotton/whatever paper. How can paper be stupid?
It's people that are stupid when it comes to money. Money does not have any inherent value. We give it value. We do stupid things for the value that (we believe) exists in money. Why? Because we are idiots and we choose to.
What's worse is that we allow the amount of money we have determine what kinda person that we are. Or that we think we are. Money can only tell us so much about a person. "Classless society" is a utopia. We do not live in a utopia.
Ugh, I'm too exhausted. I keep skipping and omitting words. I just wanted to say that though money facilitates trading of services and goods, people have lost sight of the intentions of the monetary system. We've taken convenience for granted and have made a stronger outlet for greed to come through. I mean, it's easier to steal cash and credit than it is to steal a stereo, clothes, and food.
You steal the stereo; you can sell it. You steal the clothes or the food; you can use/eat them. You steal money; you can spend it on anything. At least when you steal food, you know it's because you're starving. When you steal money, it could be you're hungry, but it could also be you're just too damn selfish.
But hey, who am I to judge?
I'm just feeling down. Reading about people's hardships makes me feel even worse. I can't do anything to help them. I can't even help myself. My mind is feeling so grrr..
Hmm, so I have 9 resolutions left to attempt. The rest I have either accomplished or given up on. I did ten. I took out 4 that I thought were too pointless or hopeless.
1. Choose a major.
2. Meditate at least 15 minutes a day.
5. Get a job.
11. Make at least one YouTube video.
14. Learn how to play a new instrument.
16. Remain calm in all situations.
18. Reconnect and keep in touch with friends.
19. Learn how to read and write Vietnamese better.
22. Stop bringing myself down with my own words.
About half of these are pretty hopeless too, but I'll just leave them there for now.
And I've kinda regressed on the 15 hrs/wk thing for the computer. I'll get back on it in a week or so haha. Hopefully, I will >_>
And I want to add "Get a girlfriend" back to the list haha, even though I had reasoned that it was really hopeless. I've just been feeling more and more alone, especially seeing all these new couples spring up (reminds me of the start of soph year right after Kevin and Rose got together). I just wish I had someone here for me. I just want to be there for someone else too. Well, whether I add it to the list or not, I'm already thinking about it haha.
Even if I think about it, it's not gonna happen. I'm just... too nice. Oh well, I never think highly of myself anyway. I don't know how anyone else would either.
Haha I'm so negative today.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Forget everything that we have done
Erase me
From your memory
Don't call
Don't ask about me until the day hell freezes over
New Found Glory is awesome.
I noticed that I haven't posted anything in about a week. Well, not much has happened. Still feeling the same as usual -__-
But I talked to my Poli Sci prof about the midterm. I'm making it up next Tuesday on campus. No disruptions hopefully. No crappy conditions either. I can't fail.
I have 5 weeks of classes left. And also finals. Three finals and a final paper. Fun stuff. At least I'll be done with school in the middle of May. I can go visit ST after finals. By that time, AP exams should be over, and I won't interfere with their finals.
I hope this summer will be memorable. Last summer was supposed to be memorable, but it wasn't really too interesting. A few fun things, but I didn't go out much. Not surprising. But this year, I want to get out more. Staying home so much makes me feel hella crappy. I'll remember to ride my bike. Or jog. Do something. Outside. I need to get outside.
I hope people invite me to hella stuff too haha. Though, I know some people are coming back to SJ for a little bit and then going back to school for summer session or work :( But the rest of the friends should be around. I want to make new friends to chill with. I haven't really made any new friends. At least not any to hang out with. Only people I really talk to now are a few classmates who went to ST with me: Albert B, Lisa H, Melissa A, Michelle R, and Austin C. But I only talk to them during class and maybe a while after our classes end.
I miss talking to my close friends. We were close in high school. Now, I see them once in a while. Even those that live so close. We're not so close at all. Or so it seems. I don't even know what's going on with people anymore. I'm getting news about people months after stuff happen.
I need to make new friends. ^They have made new, good friends. I should too. I need to get out more.
Words, words, words. I don't do anything. I'm just made of words and thoughts. No action. Mm.. I've been wanting to go to the movies, but no one's been responding. I should just wait for people to invite me to things. That's easier. I'm looking for the easy way. I always wait. So passive, non-assertive. Where's my motivation to step up? I can't even motivate myself -_- So lame.
Yeah, I'm being negative. Losing that resolution. I'm trying not to, but it's really hard when I don't do anything. When I try to do stuff, my mom just yells at me. I don't know why I bother with anything. Just school and home. Should keep it at that. Makes her happy. Less contention. Yeah.
Conflicted.
From your memory
Don't call
Don't ask about me until the day hell freezes over
New Found Glory is awesome.
I noticed that I haven't posted anything in about a week. Well, not much has happened. Still feeling the same as usual -__-
But I talked to my Poli Sci prof about the midterm. I'm making it up next Tuesday on campus. No disruptions hopefully. No crappy conditions either. I can't fail.
I have 5 weeks of classes left. And also finals. Three finals and a final paper. Fun stuff. At least I'll be done with school in the middle of May. I can go visit ST after finals. By that time, AP exams should be over, and I won't interfere with their finals.
I hope this summer will be memorable. Last summer was supposed to be memorable, but it wasn't really too interesting. A few fun things, but I didn't go out much. Not surprising. But this year, I want to get out more. Staying home so much makes me feel hella crappy. I'll remember to ride my bike. Or jog. Do something. Outside. I need to get outside.
I hope people invite me to hella stuff too haha. Though, I know some people are coming back to SJ for a little bit and then going back to school for summer session or work :( But the rest of the friends should be around. I want to make new friends to chill with. I haven't really made any new friends. At least not any to hang out with. Only people I really talk to now are a few classmates who went to ST with me: Albert B, Lisa H, Melissa A, Michelle R, and Austin C. But I only talk to them during class and maybe a while after our classes end.
I miss talking to my close friends. We were close in high school. Now, I see them once in a while. Even those that live so close. We're not so close at all. Or so it seems. I don't even know what's going on with people anymore. I'm getting news about people months after stuff happen.
I need to make new friends. ^They have made new, good friends. I should too. I need to get out more.
Words, words, words. I don't do anything. I'm just made of words and thoughts. No action. Mm.. I've been wanting to go to the movies, but no one's been responding. I should just wait for people to invite me to things. That's easier. I'm looking for the easy way. I always wait. So passive, non-assertive. Where's my motivation to step up? I can't even motivate myself -_- So lame.
Yeah, I'm being negative. Losing that resolution. I'm trying not to, but it's really hard when I don't do anything. When I try to do stuff, my mom just yells at me. I don't know why I bother with anything. Just school and home. Should keep it at that. Makes her happy. Less contention. Yeah.
Conflicted.
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