I just found out another one of my best friends from my childhood passed away back in July 2012 ): He was 93 and diabetic; so I knew it would happen, but it still hurts a little. He was another friend that I had been meaning to see again after so many years. Another friend that I didn't get to talk to one last time.
For the past two years, Mother and I had been constantly reminding each other that we need to find his address and go visit him sometime. But today, she found out from a former neighbor of ours that Milton passed. That neighbor didn't even find out until recently as well.
I just feel really sad now. I've been wanting to talk to him again. There's not even a grave for me to visit because he was cremated.
I think I was still in high school the last time I saw him. And he still had both of his legs. Mother told me he lost his legs a few years ago because of the diabetes. She had visited him two or three years ago, and he had asked her to bring Brother and me with her the next time she came to visit. Except Mother lost his address, so we had to postpone the visit until we ran into a friend who would know his address. But we never ran into anyone who did.
Milton, you were a wonderful, loving person. Very thoughtful, very generous. I wish I could have gotten one more hug from you. Rest in peace, Milton. I love you, and I'll always remember and appreciate the things you did for my family.
I know people come and go for many different reasons, but it never gets easier to let people go. And it just makes me think that eventually we have to let go of everyone in our lives because everyone dies. I don't want to lose anyone. I just wanna grab hold and hang on.
Life goes on, and you go on with it.
Oh man, all the sadness and frustration ;-; I can't handle this.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Obsessive cleaning and reorganizing.
Is it obsessive?
I've spent a significant portion of each day for the past five(?) days, meticulously going through my things to clean and to recycle. Every day, I manage to rid myself of at least a small trash bin of items. I put the rest of my things back into the various boxes. It takes me at least an hour to do all of this.
I go through each thing, and I think about why I want to keep it. Usually, it is some sort of souvenir from my past, mainly from my academic career, my time with Shiva, and my trips to AX. I debate about... well, I dunno what I debate about. It's more of a feeling about whether I would like to keep the item or not. It is difficult because I am attached to my souvenirs. I used to look at them all the time to remember parts of my past. But they add to the clutter of things that I don't need. I try to tell myself to keep things that I may need in the future or which remind me of important parts of my life. When I'm satisfied, I put all my things back into their respective boxes and place the boxes back in my dresser.
Fifteen minutes later, the boxes are back out, and I'm pondering the same thoughts again. Occasionally, I manage to choose one or two more things to recycle. Usually old high school assignments. Then I pack the boxes away. Then I take them out again. Then away, and then out. I've repeated this process probably twenty or thirty times in the past couple of days. Every time I feel satisfied and put everything away, I start thinking about that one thing or other that I really don't need but kept anyway. Then I take everything out, look at that one thing, wonder about it, make a decision, and then do the same for everything else.
Lately, when I go to bed, my mind is plagued with thoughts about the things that I don't need. I start making a mental list of things that I should get rid of when I wake up. But the boxes-out, boxes-in cycle repeats itself. I have small boxes of things I want. But it bothers me that I have so much clutter. I'm pretty sure that eventually I will get rid of most of the stuff I've kept. It's just a matter of time and a matter of me letting go.
I don't know why I hang on to some of the stuff I have. They are so trivial. So unimportant to me, but I want to keep them. Examples would be report cards, Principal's Award certificates, Honor Roll certificates, and standardized test scores. These things mean very little to me, but I can't throw them out just yet. Why do I keep these things? I look at these things, and I feel nothing about them. I don't feel proud or anything like that. They're just pieces of paper that prove my teachers liked me back in junior high and high school, I knew how to please my teachers, some teachers played favorites, and I knew how to take a test. Other than that, these papers show very little about me. They don't help me remember much of who I was, other than being some supposedly smart kid.
And trust me; I read some of my old writing before I threw most of it out; I don't know how I got A's and B's on half the stuff I wrote. I think the only teacher who ever gave me grades that I agreed with was Mohr. B's, C's, and D's. I may have gotten an F once, but I'm not sure if I'm misremembering that. So I'll just say a D was the lowest grade I've ever gotten in Mohr's class or in school really. Her class made me feel like shit, and I didn't try harder. In fact, I stopped trying hard, especially in her class. That explains why I got a C on my final individual project, comparing myself to Nick Carraway. I think I really only passed her class because my classmates were lenient when grading my stuff and my final group project was with a bunch of my very smart and dedicated friends. Anyway, sorry, this was a tangent...
I think I want to hang on to these papers because I want someone else to see them. Someone important in my life. I just want to share the trivia of my life with someone important to me. Just to have someone who's seen this part of me that I don't care about, just so he or she knows that there was this part of my life that used to feel so important but isn't anymore. Recognition and adults who were proud of me. Just see that. Then I can throw it all away. And not look back at it and feel nothing.
I don't know if this makes sense. I just have letting-go issues haha.
But yeah, I'm slowly getting rid of things. I don't remember half the things I've recycled already. I've been told I might regret throwing things away. But it's ok. I'm more afraid that I'll try to keep all of these things close, and they'll be taken away from me for good. At least, this way, it's my choice to lose these things.
Besides, it's so much clutter! I'm hoping to whittle down my possessions enough so that they all fit into one or two boxes. Now, I've got a small box of books, a bigger box of school stuff, a shoebox of knickknacks and souvenirs, and a cookie tin of random haha. I've still got other things that are not in boxes, but they're mainly photo albums, yearbooks, Sudoku books, and a couple of things I'd rather give away or sell than recycle.
I also can't forget that I have things that won't fit in conventional moving boxes. I've got a reverse blade; no idea what I will do with it. It's a nice souvenir from AX haha. I've also got a hockey stick; pretty good for self-defense :P Also for hockey if I ever play again. I've got bad artwork from a summer art class I took years ago.
I'm liking the space that I've made in my dresser. Once I get rid of some more stuff and give away or sell a few items, I think I'll feel much better about the stuff I'm keeping. Living with as few things as possible would be great. A change from the lifestyle I've had, living with Mother and Brother.
Honestly, I think once I move out, take all my things with me, and share them with someone other than myself, I'll be at ease. I won't obsess so much about reorganizing my stuff. I can share all these souvenirs that my family hasn't even really seen. I think I really just want someone to see the things I've kept to myself all these years, to see the things that I've treasured for some reason.
Souvenirs, reminders, keepsakes. They all remind me of some part of my life. Some event. Some transition. Some person. Something in my life. I feel like I'd forget them without the souvenirs. Except, every time I look through my things, there's something there that never reminded me of anything or no longer reminds me. I look at it, and I try to remember. But I can't. But if it's there, I know it's important, or at least it was. So why can't I remember it? At this point, I decide either to toss it out because it doesn't remind me anymore or to keep it in the hopes that I will remember again. I usually don't remember it again. So now I usually decide to toss it.
It just makes me unhappy to keep all these things that don't remind me of anything. As for the things that still remind me, I'm afraid one day they'll stop. I'm not ready for that.
Anyway, tomorrow, I'll probably take everything out and go through it all once more. I don't know exactly when I'll be satisfied and stop. Maybe I won't stop until I feel annoyed that there's nothing left to get rid of. Or maybe I really do just need to sort through my things with someone significant, and I'll be satisfied then. I dunno. We'll see what happens.
Before I forget, because I probably will, I need to list all the things I plan to give away or sell: flashlight/UV light, Long Day's Journey into Night, The Importance of Being Earnest, The Lovely Bones, TI-83 Plus, The All-American Rejects' self-titled album, and Muse's Absolution album.
If you or anyone you know would like any of these things, please let me know. Otherwise, I don't really know to whom I should give or sell them yet.
Woo! So much blather lately. I'm sorry. I'm hoping my next entry will be more... Interesting? Different?
I've spent a significant portion of each day for the past five(?) days, meticulously going through my things to clean and to recycle. Every day, I manage to rid myself of at least a small trash bin of items. I put the rest of my things back into the various boxes. It takes me at least an hour to do all of this.
I go through each thing, and I think about why I want to keep it. Usually, it is some sort of souvenir from my past, mainly from my academic career, my time with Shiva, and my trips to AX. I debate about... well, I dunno what I debate about. It's more of a feeling about whether I would like to keep the item or not. It is difficult because I am attached to my souvenirs. I used to look at them all the time to remember parts of my past. But they add to the clutter of things that I don't need. I try to tell myself to keep things that I may need in the future or which remind me of important parts of my life. When I'm satisfied, I put all my things back into their respective boxes and place the boxes back in my dresser.
Fifteen minutes later, the boxes are back out, and I'm pondering the same thoughts again. Occasionally, I manage to choose one or two more things to recycle. Usually old high school assignments. Then I pack the boxes away. Then I take them out again. Then away, and then out. I've repeated this process probably twenty or thirty times in the past couple of days. Every time I feel satisfied and put everything away, I start thinking about that one thing or other that I really don't need but kept anyway. Then I take everything out, look at that one thing, wonder about it, make a decision, and then do the same for everything else.
Lately, when I go to bed, my mind is plagued with thoughts about the things that I don't need. I start making a mental list of things that I should get rid of when I wake up. But the boxes-out, boxes-in cycle repeats itself. I have small boxes of things I want. But it bothers me that I have so much clutter. I'm pretty sure that eventually I will get rid of most of the stuff I've kept. It's just a matter of time and a matter of me letting go.
I don't know why I hang on to some of the stuff I have. They are so trivial. So unimportant to me, but I want to keep them. Examples would be report cards, Principal's Award certificates, Honor Roll certificates, and standardized test scores. These things mean very little to me, but I can't throw them out just yet. Why do I keep these things? I look at these things, and I feel nothing about them. I don't feel proud or anything like that. They're just pieces of paper that prove my teachers liked me back in junior high and high school, I knew how to please my teachers, some teachers played favorites, and I knew how to take a test. Other than that, these papers show very little about me. They don't help me remember much of who I was, other than being some supposedly smart kid.
And trust me; I read some of my old writing before I threw most of it out; I don't know how I got A's and B's on half the stuff I wrote. I think the only teacher who ever gave me grades that I agreed with was Mohr. B's, C's, and D's. I may have gotten an F once, but I'm not sure if I'm misremembering that. So I'll just say a D was the lowest grade I've ever gotten in Mohr's class or in school really. Her class made me feel like shit, and I didn't try harder. In fact, I stopped trying hard, especially in her class. That explains why I got a C on my final individual project, comparing myself to Nick Carraway. I think I really only passed her class because my classmates were lenient when grading my stuff and my final group project was with a bunch of my very smart and dedicated friends. Anyway, sorry, this was a tangent...
I think I want to hang on to these papers because I want someone else to see them. Someone important in my life. I just want to share the trivia of my life with someone important to me. Just to have someone who's seen this part of me that I don't care about, just so he or she knows that there was this part of my life that used to feel so important but isn't anymore. Recognition and adults who were proud of me. Just see that. Then I can throw it all away. And not look back at it and feel nothing.
I don't know if this makes sense. I just have letting-go issues haha.
But yeah, I'm slowly getting rid of things. I don't remember half the things I've recycled already. I've been told I might regret throwing things away. But it's ok. I'm more afraid that I'll try to keep all of these things close, and they'll be taken away from me for good. At least, this way, it's my choice to lose these things.
Besides, it's so much clutter! I'm hoping to whittle down my possessions enough so that they all fit into one or two boxes. Now, I've got a small box of books, a bigger box of school stuff, a shoebox of knickknacks and souvenirs, and a cookie tin of random haha. I've still got other things that are not in boxes, but they're mainly photo albums, yearbooks, Sudoku books, and a couple of things I'd rather give away or sell than recycle.
I also can't forget that I have things that won't fit in conventional moving boxes. I've got a reverse blade; no idea what I will do with it. It's a nice souvenir from AX haha. I've also got a hockey stick; pretty good for self-defense :P Also for hockey if I ever play again. I've got bad artwork from a summer art class I took years ago.
I'm liking the space that I've made in my dresser. Once I get rid of some more stuff and give away or sell a few items, I think I'll feel much better about the stuff I'm keeping. Living with as few things as possible would be great. A change from the lifestyle I've had, living with Mother and Brother.
Honestly, I think once I move out, take all my things with me, and share them with someone other than myself, I'll be at ease. I won't obsess so much about reorganizing my stuff. I can share all these souvenirs that my family hasn't even really seen. I think I really just want someone to see the things I've kept to myself all these years, to see the things that I've treasured for some reason.
Souvenirs, reminders, keepsakes. They all remind me of some part of my life. Some event. Some transition. Some person. Something in my life. I feel like I'd forget them without the souvenirs. Except, every time I look through my things, there's something there that never reminded me of anything or no longer reminds me. I look at it, and I try to remember. But I can't. But if it's there, I know it's important, or at least it was. So why can't I remember it? At this point, I decide either to toss it out because it doesn't remind me anymore or to keep it in the hopes that I will remember again. I usually don't remember it again. So now I usually decide to toss it.
It just makes me unhappy to keep all these things that don't remind me of anything. As for the things that still remind me, I'm afraid one day they'll stop. I'm not ready for that.
Anyway, tomorrow, I'll probably take everything out and go through it all once more. I don't know exactly when I'll be satisfied and stop. Maybe I won't stop until I feel annoyed that there's nothing left to get rid of. Or maybe I really do just need to sort through my things with someone significant, and I'll be satisfied then. I dunno. We'll see what happens.
Before I forget, because I probably will, I need to list all the things I plan to give away or sell: flashlight/UV light, Long Day's Journey into Night, The Importance of Being Earnest, The Lovely Bones, TI-83 Plus, The All-American Rejects' self-titled album, and Muse's Absolution album.
If you or anyone you know would like any of these things, please let me know. Otherwise, I don't really know to whom I should give or sell them yet.
Woo! So much blather lately. I'm sorry. I'm hoping my next entry will be more... Interesting? Different?
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Winter cleaning?
Actually, it's more like six months of cleaning... Sooo summer-autumn-winter cleaning! I've been dusting, wiping down, and clearing stuff out of my room every few weeks since the summer.
I don't know what else to do. Aside from being on the job hunt, reading, and watching movies and shows, I haven't had much else to do at home. Every time I think about the stuff I own, my first thought is always "I have way too much stuff." Then I think of the clutter, and clutter bothers me >.< So I start going through my stuff and tossing them.
I've reduced my wardrobe a lot, but I also got new clothes for Christmas so XP Inane details ahead, so you can skip the rest of this paragraph: I used to have like 36 pairs of pants; now, I have nineteen, including five pairs of blue jeans. Shorts went from eight pairs to four pairs. I reduced the number of shirts I own from 60+ to just thirteen T-shirts, two polos, two long-sleeved shirts, two flannels, and nine button-ups. I'm planning to get rid of more of my graphic tees once I can buy more solid-colored shirts, especially polos. And I still have thirteen hoodies, jackets, and coats, which is fewer than the twenty I used to have. I'm still planning to get rid of some more clothes. Make it easier for myself to fit my clothes into one luggage thing. (What are they called? I never knew.)
I'm not too worried about moving my clothes though. I'm more wary of moving all my other stuff. I have to leave them with Mother. But I would much rather take them with me. However, I've been throwing out a lot of souvenirs. Especially yesterday. Trying to make space for few things in the fewest amount of boxes. Except I'm using small boxes. Like tiny ones.
It seems I don't have that much stuff anymore, which is good. Yay for less clutter! I've got my books in one box; random, small things in a shoebox, a Verizon box, and two cookie tins; and school stuff in an SJSU box. When I move, my clothes will be in one luggage, my hats and scarf will be in one of my cloth bags, my CDs will probably go in a small box, along with my yearbooks and photo albums.
Moving out is stuck on my mind. I'm a little anxious about it. Not because I'm moving out, but because I feel like I have so much to do to prepare for it (so that I don't mess up Mother's living situation) and I don't want to continue to be tied down to Mother. Except I know she's trying to keep me around. She's suggested that after I move out, eventually I should move back in with her >.> I don't have the nerve to tell her that I plan to move away from San Jose one day. But I did say I would never want to move back in. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.
I'm thinking about moving out so often... I don't want to forget anything. That's why I'm blogging about where I'm putting stuff. So I don't forget I already have a plan for how I'm going to transfer my stuff. If I have as few possessions as possible, I can just take it all with me when I move in with Shiva and Killol. Because right now, my plan is just to take my clothes, towel, blanket, netbook, and a few other necessities with me. If I can put all my stuff into a few small boxes or one medium-sized box, I can just take it all with me. When I move into my own room later, I'll take my bed, coat stand, a dresser, and maybe my desktop and desk. Maybe I'll sell my bed and get a twin-sized bed too. A full-size is so big for me >.>
Still have so much stuff I don't need. Also good exercise for letting things go. Still so hard to let go -sigh- I just want to keep things I need. Goal: Small and few. Minimalist lifestyle! It would be so much easier to do once Mother stops telling me what to do and telling me that I'm too cheap or I act too poor. I just want to live a simple life. I'm not a decorative or extravagant person on most days. I just need to let go!
Sorry, that last paragraph was random. But yeah, I'm gonna try to live the life I want to live. Butting heads with Mother will happen because she wants me to do all these things for her that I can't afford to do yet. Nor do I want to at this point in my life. I just wanna know what it's like to take care of myself first. She wants me to buy a house, so that our whole family can live together <.< That's just not what I want. One, I don't want to live with her again. Two, I don't want to live in or own a house. Three, she's trying to plan my life without my input. It's frustrating. She's making plans that I don't see myself being a part of. At the least, when I can afford to, I will help pay for her living space, food, clothes, and leisure. But she's making plans like she expects me to do it within the next year or two. I won't. I don't expect to be making enough money for all that for at least the next four or five years. Even when I get to that point, I don't know how extravagant I will be with my spending. If I still spend less on myself, then yeah I can spend more on her. But if I start spending on myself like how she spends on herself, I won't be able to take care of her the way she wants me to.
Also, at that point in my life, I might have a significant other. I don't know where my priorities will be then.
I just wish she'd let me figure out my life for myself. I have (ideas of) plans for how I want to live and how to save my money and everything, but she won't listen to me. If she keeps butting into my life and trying to change it so that it fits what she wants, I'm going to feel less and less inclined to share my plans (and savings) with her. She's just gotta let me do my thing and trust that I will learn how to take care of myself, come back, and take care of her when I can. Making me take care of her now when I don't even know how to care for myself is one of the worst things she can do. But, of course, she won't listen. So I'm going to have to figure out how to do what I want to do while still appeasing her.
Wish me luck XP
I don't know what else to do. Aside from being on the job hunt, reading, and watching movies and shows, I haven't had much else to do at home. Every time I think about the stuff I own, my first thought is always "I have way too much stuff." Then I think of the clutter, and clutter bothers me >.< So I start going through my stuff and tossing them.
I've reduced my wardrobe a lot, but I also got new clothes for Christmas so XP Inane details ahead, so you can skip the rest of this paragraph: I used to have like 36 pairs of pants; now, I have nineteen, including five pairs of blue jeans. Shorts went from eight pairs to four pairs. I reduced the number of shirts I own from 60+ to just thirteen T-shirts, two polos, two long-sleeved shirts, two flannels, and nine button-ups. I'm planning to get rid of more of my graphic tees once I can buy more solid-colored shirts, especially polos. And I still have thirteen hoodies, jackets, and coats, which is fewer than the twenty I used to have. I'm still planning to get rid of some more clothes. Make it easier for myself to fit my clothes into one luggage thing. (What are they called? I never knew.)
I'm not too worried about moving my clothes though. I'm more wary of moving all my other stuff. I have to leave them with Mother. But I would much rather take them with me. However, I've been throwing out a lot of souvenirs. Especially yesterday. Trying to make space for few things in the fewest amount of boxes. Except I'm using small boxes. Like tiny ones.
It seems I don't have that much stuff anymore, which is good. Yay for less clutter! I've got my books in one box; random, small things in a shoebox, a Verizon box, and two cookie tins; and school stuff in an SJSU box. When I move, my clothes will be in one luggage, my hats and scarf will be in one of my cloth bags, my CDs will probably go in a small box, along with my yearbooks and photo albums.
Moving out is stuck on my mind. I'm a little anxious about it. Not because I'm moving out, but because I feel like I have so much to do to prepare for it (so that I don't mess up Mother's living situation) and I don't want to continue to be tied down to Mother. Except I know she's trying to keep me around. She's suggested that after I move out, eventually I should move back in with her >.> I don't have the nerve to tell her that I plan to move away from San Jose one day. But I did say I would never want to move back in. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.
I'm thinking about moving out so often... I don't want to forget anything. That's why I'm blogging about where I'm putting stuff. So I don't forget I already have a plan for how I'm going to transfer my stuff. If I have as few possessions as possible, I can just take it all with me when I move in with Shiva and Killol. Because right now, my plan is just to take my clothes, towel, blanket, netbook, and a few other necessities with me. If I can put all my stuff into a few small boxes or one medium-sized box, I can just take it all with me. When I move into my own room later, I'll take my bed, coat stand, a dresser, and maybe my desktop and desk. Maybe I'll sell my bed and get a twin-sized bed too. A full-size is so big for me >.>
Still have so much stuff I don't need. Also good exercise for letting things go. Still so hard to let go -sigh- I just want to keep things I need. Goal: Small and few. Minimalist lifestyle! It would be so much easier to do once Mother stops telling me what to do and telling me that I'm too cheap or I act too poor. I just want to live a simple life. I'm not a decorative or extravagant person on most days. I just need to let go!
Sorry, that last paragraph was random. But yeah, I'm gonna try to live the life I want to live. Butting heads with Mother will happen because she wants me to do all these things for her that I can't afford to do yet. Nor do I want to at this point in my life. I just wanna know what it's like to take care of myself first. She wants me to buy a house, so that our whole family can live together <.< That's just not what I want. One, I don't want to live with her again. Two, I don't want to live in or own a house. Three, she's trying to plan my life without my input. It's frustrating. She's making plans that I don't see myself being a part of. At the least, when I can afford to, I will help pay for her living space, food, clothes, and leisure. But she's making plans like she expects me to do it within the next year or two. I won't. I don't expect to be making enough money for all that for at least the next four or five years. Even when I get to that point, I don't know how extravagant I will be with my spending. If I still spend less on myself, then yeah I can spend more on her. But if I start spending on myself like how she spends on herself, I won't be able to take care of her the way she wants me to.
Also, at that point in my life, I might have a significant other. I don't know where my priorities will be then.
I just wish she'd let me figure out my life for myself. I have (ideas of) plans for how I want to live and how to save my money and everything, but she won't listen to me. If she keeps butting into my life and trying to change it so that it fits what she wants, I'm going to feel less and less inclined to share my plans (and savings) with her. She's just gotta let me do my thing and trust that I will learn how to take care of myself, come back, and take care of her when I can. Making me take care of her now when I don't even know how to care for myself is one of the worst things she can do. But, of course, she won't listen. So I'm going to have to figure out how to do what I want to do while still appeasing her.
Wish me luck XP
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
2013 has begun.
So I welcomed 2013 with Shiva, Mai, Harrison, Chau, and Vivi. It was a good start to the year :) We missed the countdown by seven seconds. But hey, they had their champagne, and I got my juice box :D It was all good. Though, I have to add that Shiva was messing with me at some points in the night -w- Trying to embarrass me and all. Pssh. Rude! XP
I had started NYE with a late lunch/early dinner with my family and Karina. Brother dropped me off at SJSU around 7pm, and I walked around campus. Parked myself on a bench near the Event Center and reminisced. It's been so long since I've been on campus. And even longer since I've been there at night. It was nice. Cold but nice. I worked on a sudoku puzzle for like an hour haha. When I finished it, I looked up at the sky and watched something slowly move across the sky.
A cop drove by in his car and turned on one of his sirens. It startled me. I looked around to see if something was happening. But nothing was happening. The cop was looking at me. Then he drove away o_o I think he thought I was sleeping on the bench -_- I'm not a bum. Also, he made me lose sight of the thing I was watching -_-"
When I realized I couldn't feel my toes anymore, I walked around some more. I ended up sitting near Fourth and San Carlos. Some guy, who was walking by, asked me, "Where the weed at?" I just smiled my awkward smile and shook my head. He continued with "You dunno where the weed at?" and sighed, while walking away with his female companion, who just glanced at me and didn't say anything.
Eventually, Vivi met up with me on campus around 8:20, and we went to Christmas in the Park for a bit. Second to last day that it was open. No preachers shouting at passersby. Small crowd. It was a nice change from what I've experienced in past years. I liked soaking in the atmosphere, even though Christmas had passed. I think I'm trying to make up for all those years in childhood that I wanted to go to the park but never got to. So though I don't always pay attention to everything that Christmas in the Park has to offer, I greatly enjoy being there and just getting my fill of whatever holiday spirit I can find. And it's always nice to share this experience with someone else :)
So afterward, Vivi and I reparked her car in another parking garage because there wasn't an overnight option in the school parking garage -_- There used to be when I used to drive to school. I felt bad because Vivi had to pay twice as much to park for the night >: But what's done is done -.-
Then we went to Shiva's apartment, where everyone else had already assembled.
Mai poured me some champagne without asking me, and I told her I wasn't going to drink :P Not until the end of March. She was disappointed(?) haha. When I say I'm gonna do something (or not do it), I mean it (now, at least. I used to say I wouldn't drink but then end up drinking anyway).
I pointed out that I was breaking my tradition of celebrating NYE with people I haven't celebrated with before because Shiva and Harrison were there. But it was also pointed out that I had never celebrated with Vivi <.< Mai >.> or Chau <.< So I guess my tradition is only half broken(?) haha >.> It doesn't really matter. I had fun; so like I said, it was all good.
We all snacked on cookies, some veggie nugget thing that I don't remember the name of, veggies with ranch, apples, cuties, and cheese and crackers.
Vivi attempted to stack some apples to make a snowman... err... Apple-man? Apple-and-cutie-man? Fruit-man? She succeeded haha. There are pictures. Then Chau attempted and succeeded at stacking on more. Again, there are pictures. Eventually, they all toppled though XP
There were plenty of photos taken last night. Silly and happy photos. Pictures of me hiding from the cameras. Pictures of Mai striking poses. Picture of Harrison planking on my arm. Picture of Harrison leaning his head on my arm while his butt was in the air. There is picture evidence of Vivi kicking me in the knee haha. But it was because Chau had been tickling her. I was just an innocent bystander... Bysitter? I was sitting next to Vivi when it happened.
We tried to do the countdown in Shiva's room on her computer, but technical difficulties made us miss it by seven seconds. But it was ok. We still clinked our drinks. Then we watched New Year's videos. First from NYC. Then from across the world. Made me remember I wanna share a New Year's kiss with someone special one of these years. I will. I'm determined :P Before I die, damn it.
After the year started, we spent the rest of the night just talking in Shiva's room, and there was more picture-taking. I think Mai slept through much of this part of the night haha. Chau gave Vivi a massage. Shiva gave Chau a massage. This led to a conversation about our friend Billy getting a massage from Shiva and moaning because it felt so good haha.
I was tired, and I wanted to plop into sleep. But the conversation was just so interesting XP Eventually, I became very awake but still tired.
Around 3am, Vivi and Chau left. Long goodbyes with relatively long hugs haha. Harrison crashed on living room floor, and I got the futon. (I'm going to have to get used to this futon.) I couldn't sleep. So I turned on my iPod and listened to Phillip Phillips :D His music helps me sleep -nodnod- Got a text from Vivi around 3:30am, letting me know she got home safely. Listened to Phillip Phillips some more. Passed out at some point.
Woke up at 8:40am. Tried to go back to sleep. I did a few times. But then I was just awake. Eventually, Harrison and I both got up, sat together on the futon, and just talked for a while. Cuddle buddy! :) Then at some point, Shiva came out to the living room and plopped on me. Mai left for a family engagement. Shiva, Harrison, and I talked and eventually walked to Flames. Good food. I couldn't finish though >:
Went back to the apartment and chilled. Shiva was packing for India. She's gonna be there for less than a month O: !! And I might move into her apartment while she's gone. We'll see what happens.
Anyway, our morning/afternoon was fun. Interesting conversations and observations about people <.< I dunno what I'm supposed to do with this information. I dunnoooo. My braaaiin... It wishes it were better at interpreting people's behavior and situations -sigh- Oh well.
Ok, yeah, that's pretty much all the fun stuff of the last 26ish hours of my life. Spent time with some friends who are special to me. Got to enjoy being in their presence. It felt great!
Now, onward with 2013!
I had started NYE with a late lunch/early dinner with my family and Karina. Brother dropped me off at SJSU around 7pm, and I walked around campus. Parked myself on a bench near the Event Center and reminisced. It's been so long since I've been on campus. And even longer since I've been there at night. It was nice. Cold but nice. I worked on a sudoku puzzle for like an hour haha. When I finished it, I looked up at the sky and watched something slowly move across the sky.
A cop drove by in his car and turned on one of his sirens. It startled me. I looked around to see if something was happening. But nothing was happening. The cop was looking at me. Then he drove away o_o I think he thought I was sleeping on the bench -_- I'm not a bum. Also, he made me lose sight of the thing I was watching -_-"
When I realized I couldn't feel my toes anymore, I walked around some more. I ended up sitting near Fourth and San Carlos. Some guy, who was walking by, asked me, "Where the weed at?" I just smiled my awkward smile and shook my head. He continued with "You dunno where the weed at?" and sighed, while walking away with his female companion, who just glanced at me and didn't say anything.
Eventually, Vivi met up with me on campus around 8:20, and we went to Christmas in the Park for a bit. Second to last day that it was open. No preachers shouting at passersby. Small crowd. It was a nice change from what I've experienced in past years. I liked soaking in the atmosphere, even though Christmas had passed. I think I'm trying to make up for all those years in childhood that I wanted to go to the park but never got to. So though I don't always pay attention to everything that Christmas in the Park has to offer, I greatly enjoy being there and just getting my fill of whatever holiday spirit I can find. And it's always nice to share this experience with someone else :)
So afterward, Vivi and I reparked her car in another parking garage because there wasn't an overnight option in the school parking garage -_- There used to be when I used to drive to school. I felt bad because Vivi had to pay twice as much to park for the night >: But what's done is done -.-
Then we went to Shiva's apartment, where everyone else had already assembled.
Mai poured me some champagne without asking me, and I told her I wasn't going to drink :P Not until the end of March. She was disappointed(?) haha. When I say I'm gonna do something (or not do it), I mean it (now, at least. I used to say I wouldn't drink but then end up drinking anyway).
I pointed out that I was breaking my tradition of celebrating NYE with people I haven't celebrated with before because Shiva and Harrison were there. But it was also pointed out that I had never celebrated with Vivi <.< Mai >.> or Chau <.< So I guess my tradition is only half broken(?) haha >.> It doesn't really matter. I had fun; so like I said, it was all good.
We all snacked on cookies, some veggie nugget thing that I don't remember the name of, veggies with ranch, apples, cuties, and cheese and crackers.
Vivi attempted to stack some apples to make a snowman... err... Apple-man? Apple-and-cutie-man? Fruit-man? She succeeded haha. There are pictures. Then Chau attempted and succeeded at stacking on more. Again, there are pictures. Eventually, they all toppled though XP
There were plenty of photos taken last night. Silly and happy photos. Pictures of me hiding from the cameras. Pictures of Mai striking poses. Picture of Harrison planking on my arm. Picture of Harrison leaning his head on my arm while his butt was in the air. There is picture evidence of Vivi kicking me in the knee haha. But it was because Chau had been tickling her. I was just an innocent bystander... Bysitter? I was sitting next to Vivi when it happened.
We tried to do the countdown in Shiva's room on her computer, but technical difficulties made us miss it by seven seconds. But it was ok. We still clinked our drinks. Then we watched New Year's videos. First from NYC. Then from across the world. Made me remember I wanna share a New Year's kiss with someone special one of these years. I will. I'm determined :P Before I die, damn it.
After the year started, we spent the rest of the night just talking in Shiva's room, and there was more picture-taking. I think Mai slept through much of this part of the night haha. Chau gave Vivi a massage. Shiva gave Chau a massage. This led to a conversation about our friend Billy getting a massage from Shiva and moaning because it felt so good haha.
I was tired, and I wanted to plop into sleep. But the conversation was just so interesting XP Eventually, I became very awake but still tired.
Around 3am, Vivi and Chau left. Long goodbyes with relatively long hugs haha. Harrison crashed on living room floor, and I got the futon. (I'm going to have to get used to this futon.) I couldn't sleep. So I turned on my iPod and listened to Phillip Phillips :D His music helps me sleep -nodnod- Got a text from Vivi around 3:30am, letting me know she got home safely. Listened to Phillip Phillips some more. Passed out at some point.
Woke up at 8:40am. Tried to go back to sleep. I did a few times. But then I was just awake. Eventually, Harrison and I both got up, sat together on the futon, and just talked for a while. Cuddle buddy! :) Then at some point, Shiva came out to the living room and plopped on me. Mai left for a family engagement. Shiva, Harrison, and I talked and eventually walked to Flames. Good food. I couldn't finish though >:
Went back to the apartment and chilled. Shiva was packing for India. She's gonna be there for less than a month O: !! And I might move into her apartment while she's gone. We'll see what happens.
Anyway, our morning/afternoon was fun. Interesting conversations and observations about people <.< I dunno what I'm supposed to do with this information. I dunnoooo. My braaaiin... It wishes it were better at interpreting people's behavior and situations -sigh- Oh well.
Ok, yeah, that's pretty much all the fun stuff of the last 26ish hours of my life. Spent time with some friends who are special to me. Got to enjoy being in their presence. It felt great!
Now, onward with 2013!
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