Plus, two days of finals. Then I am done. Can't wait.
Dance final might happen on Wednesday. Apparently, Oscar's gonna choose randomly who goes. Tatiana and I forgot our routine today XP So a bit of rearranging was in order. Still got a good routine. Though, we haven't practiced with the music D: So I don't know how off-beat we're gonna be. We were supposed to practice today after class, but we got distracted with her trying to find outside dance classes to go to within the next week. I think she's going to the place where Ariane's crew practices, I'm not sure.
Oh, this weekend, I think Autumn said there was gonna be a going-away party for Grant. Not sure yet. But yeah, I wanna go. Haven't seen Grant in quite a while. Can't believe he's going into the Air Force. So many people going into the Air Force. Most of them I don't know well, but still. Just so many. I'm proud of them though. I'd go for the military if I had the physical capacity XP and the courage to defy "family obligations" >_> haha... ahh, so if the party is happening, we should go! Support the troops! Yeah!
Anyway, my Internet died last night. Right before I was gonna answer Facebook messages -_- I spent all night and this morning fretting. Bah! I should have gotten those people's phone numbers. I should call people instead of relying on the Interwebz, but you already know I don't like talking on the phone XP If I offer to talk to you on the phone, it must mean I really like you, or you're just very useful to me muahahaha. Also, we only have a 700-minute plan now, split between four phones, with Brother using up at least 500 of those minutes already. So yeaah, doesn't really work. This is why everyone should switch to Verizon and get texting :P Or I should get a job and switch over to AT&T, since that's what most people seem to have -_-
Eh, I'm straying... so we canceled Comcast cable and added AT&T Internet. No more illegal Internet hook-ups XP But I won't have Internet at home until Thursday at the earliest. So I will probably mooch off of other people's Interwebz for the next three days. Like I am now (at D's). I find it sad that I'm obsessing about this. I thought I could live without the Internet. Maybe during breaks. But not during the semester. I hella need to check for professor emails and stuff that includes Facebook messages >_< It's so sad. I feel pathetic.
Haha I realize I still do everything online despite not having Internet at home. Oh, I am soo using people this week :P I shall repay them. In hugs and stuff. I don't know what stuff, but something.
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I'm distancing myself from people...
I was listening to "No Rain" by Blind Melon and "Rain" by Breaking Benjamin. Good songs. Kinda fit my mood and at the same time tried to lift my mood. Now, I've got my Within Temptation playlist on. No more want for mood-lifters.
So I was chatting with Robert B and a friend I've never met, George, who happens to go to SJSU as well. Talked about friendship. Mostly my friendships in general.
Aside from Maggie (Hiii ^_^) and my SJSU/ST-alum friends (Albert, Lisa, Rose, Angela), I don't actually talk to anyone from high school much anymore. And Maggie, you know we don't even talk that often. Like maybe once or twice a month. Online. Or through text.
And I've really only talked to Albert about five times this whole semester. I haven't actually seen him in at least two weeks because I haven't been going to the Tuesday lunches. Lisa, I see every morning after we get off the light rail. Plus, we've got Physics together. Rose and Angela, I haven't seen them since the last Tuesday lunch I went to, as well. And really, they're all good friends, but I don't really consider them the same as the close friends I had in high school.
Blahh... I find it irksome how much things change. I've said this probably a hundred times, but I have major letting-go issues. I mean, I know things are always changing, either minimally or drastically. I just can't get over it. I used to pride myself on being flexible and adaptable, but, thinking back to how things used to be, I don't feel like I can handle it sometimes. I still flex and adapt, but I miss the past way too much.
I miss the newness of things. Now, everything feels so routine, bland, stuck, yet too different. Even new things aren't new anymore (I don't know how to explain it). Or maybe that's just how I feel. Feelings aren't logical. So maybe I should disregard them. Mm..
I really just want to talk to people again. Like, really talk. And keep talking. But I've already acknowledged that I've lost touch with my closest friends from high school. Even the girls from Friday (I love you, ladies. Really, I do).
I just... don't know how to put what I'm feeling/thinking into words. I'm trying.
I know I have friends who are here for me... I just don't feel like we're close enough anymore for me to disclose even half of the things I think about. Yeah, we (or really, they) can talk about sex and relationships, but I don't know why I feel this way, but I've felt like this for a long time (>2 years). I just never really thought about it. I might have said something before, but I always pushed back the thoughts when they got this deep.
I have friends. Good friends. Close friends. We're here for each other. It just doesn't feel like we're always here.
^And this is the best I can do to explain what I think about this topic.
You know, I feel like I'm typing all this, but you don't really get what I'm putting forward. You don't see me saying this shit. You don't see how much this tears at me..
After some thought: I have a few friends I can complain to (Thank you. I know I complain about myself and my family too often). I just don't feel I have any friends I can confide in. I know I have friends who care. I just don't know who would have the patience to listen, to keep pushing me, to stick around.
Everyone's just so busy now. With their social lives, new friends, new hobbies, degrees, futures, whatever... I'm trapping myself with thinking. Not doing.
I'm doing this to myself. No wonder.
Mm, yay for me trying to open up. On a blog. Eh. It's a step.
So yesterday, I cleaned up my Facebook friend list and AIM buddy list a lil bit. Still have a lot of people who don't say anything to me. But I deleted half my buddy list. The people who are still there are most those who talk to me once or twice a year haha. Eh -shrug-
The past four weeks, I've only talked to four people on AIM. Before, I barely went on AIM anyway. Dunno why I've been on almost every day lately -__- Most people never start conversations with me. Even before, I have always been the one to start the conversation with almost everyone else. And a reply was never guaranteed. And the conversation was always short. People are just busy, bored, apathetic. So I've stopped trying as much as I used to.
Mm, so I'm deleting more people on AIM now. Doesn't matter. They don't really care, nor do I anymore. Maybe I'll just go on AIM for the few people who still talk to me from time to time. Yeah.
Ah, and Facebook. I really don't like social networking websites. It's like the only way I talk to people anymore. And I don't even talk to them all that much on there. Not good at all. Feels so not effective.
Sometimes, I consider not talking to people. At all. Just cut myself off from everyone. Silence. Complete silence. Alone. Maybe, I'd stop thinking like this, feeling like this.
Ok. I'm not gonna care anymore. Just do what I do. Keep in touch with who I can. Don't think so much about it (so difficult).
Ugh, I'm just tired of thinking, but I can't stop. Thinking too much.....
So I was chatting with Robert B and a friend I've never met, George, who happens to go to SJSU as well. Talked about friendship. Mostly my friendships in general.
Aside from Maggie (Hiii ^_^) and my SJSU/ST-alum friends (Albert, Lisa, Rose, Angela), I don't actually talk to anyone from high school much anymore. And Maggie, you know we don't even talk that often. Like maybe once or twice a month. Online. Or through text.
And I've really only talked to Albert about five times this whole semester. I haven't actually seen him in at least two weeks because I haven't been going to the Tuesday lunches. Lisa, I see every morning after we get off the light rail. Plus, we've got Physics together. Rose and Angela, I haven't seen them since the last Tuesday lunch I went to, as well. And really, they're all good friends, but I don't really consider them the same as the close friends I had in high school.
Blahh... I find it irksome how much things change. I've said this probably a hundred times, but I have major letting-go issues. I mean, I know things are always changing, either minimally or drastically. I just can't get over it. I used to pride myself on being flexible and adaptable, but, thinking back to how things used to be, I don't feel like I can handle it sometimes. I still flex and adapt, but I miss the past way too much.
I miss the newness of things. Now, everything feels so routine, bland, stuck, yet too different. Even new things aren't new anymore (I don't know how to explain it). Or maybe that's just how I feel. Feelings aren't logical. So maybe I should disregard them. Mm..
I really just want to talk to people again. Like, really talk. And keep talking. But I've already acknowledged that I've lost touch with my closest friends from high school. Even the girls from Friday (I love you, ladies. Really, I do).
I just... don't know how to put what I'm feeling/thinking into words. I'm trying.
I know I have friends who are here for me... I just don't feel like we're close enough anymore for me to disclose even half of the things I think about. Yeah, we (or really, they) can talk about sex and relationships, but I don't know why I feel this way, but I've felt like this for a long time (>2 years). I just never really thought about it. I might have said something before, but I always pushed back the thoughts when they got this deep.
I have friends. Good friends. Close friends. We're here for each other. It just doesn't feel like we're always here.
^And this is the best I can do to explain what I think about this topic.
You know, I feel like I'm typing all this, but you don't really get what I'm putting forward. You don't see me saying this shit. You don't see how much this tears at me..
After some thought: I have a few friends I can complain to (Thank you. I know I complain about myself and my family too often). I just don't feel I have any friends I can confide in. I know I have friends who care. I just don't know who would have the patience to listen, to keep pushing me, to stick around.
Everyone's just so busy now. With their social lives, new friends, new hobbies, degrees, futures, whatever... I'm trapping myself with thinking. Not doing.
I'm doing this to myself. No wonder.
Mm, yay for me trying to open up. On a blog. Eh. It's a step.
So yesterday, I cleaned up my Facebook friend list and AIM buddy list a lil bit. Still have a lot of people who don't say anything to me. But I deleted half my buddy list. The people who are still there are most those who talk to me once or twice a year haha. Eh -shrug-
The past four weeks, I've only talked to four people on AIM. Before, I barely went on AIM anyway. Dunno why I've been on almost every day lately -__- Most people never start conversations with me. Even before, I have always been the one to start the conversation with almost everyone else. And a reply was never guaranteed. And the conversation was always short. People are just busy, bored, apathetic. So I've stopped trying as much as I used to.
Mm, so I'm deleting more people on AIM now. Doesn't matter. They don't really care, nor do I anymore. Maybe I'll just go on AIM for the few people who still talk to me from time to time. Yeah.
Ah, and Facebook. I really don't like social networking websites. It's like the only way I talk to people anymore. And I don't even talk to them all that much on there. Not good at all. Feels so not effective.
Sometimes, I consider not talking to people. At all. Just cut myself off from everyone. Silence. Complete silence. Alone. Maybe, I'd stop thinking like this, feeling like this.
Ok. I'm not gonna care anymore. Just do what I do. Keep in touch with who I can. Don't think so much about it (so difficult).
Ugh, I'm just tired of thinking, but I can't stop. Thinking too much.....
Saturday, November 28, 2009
First clubbing experience was...
fun :) interesting, etc etc.
This may or may not be a long entry because I'm using Autumn's laptop and everyone's still asleep. I only got three hours of sleep, but I can't sleep anymore :/ Too many thoughts, I suppose. Damn.
So yesterday, Mother dropped me off at Autumn's place downtown around 1630. Maggie was already there. Just chilled and talked. I checked my email and stuff on Autumn's laptop :P Interwebz!
Around 1930, we walked to GJ for dinner. Dominique was our server. We agreed (as well as Brother) that she was cute :P Had cajun popcorn shrimp, cajun curly fries, crawfish hushpuppies, and something something etouffee haha. Oh yeah, can't forget the beignets a la mode. Good stuff. Brother covered the cost, even though he wasn't working. He kept texting me, asking me if everything was good and whatever haha. He's looking out for me and my friends. He really wants them to like me XP
We left the restaurant around 2030, I think. Went to the light rail station to wait for Elora. Had interesting conversations concerning lesbianism and its connection to hugs :P
When Elora came, we walked back to Autumn's to get ready for clubbing. Got our stuff together. We left later than expected, which really isn't much of a surprise. Met up with Ariane and Brian at the Macy's parking lot down the street from the club. Ahh, we were three minutes late for the birthday guestlist :( So Autumn, Elora, and Brian had to pay $15 each to get in.
The club wasn't packed when we came. It didn't become packed either. But it's understandable, Thanksgiving weekend; people go home.
Crystal (from Q&A) was there with her girlfriend and friends. At some point in the night, when I was dancing with my friends, she came up behind me (with a train of people?) and started grinding XP I was like "Uhhhh >_> whaat? ... Ok, whatever, just go with it." My friends were laughing at me because I don't grind :P If I really think about it, I've only done it twice before haha. And why am I always the one in front? -_- I feel so violated haha :P
Anyway, my friends had other clubgoers ask them to dance/grind. All but one were politely rejected. Though, I guess in Maggie's case, it was an unheard rejection :/ We were wary of that guy for the rest of the night. Actually, we were kinda wary of all dancers haha. Just such intense freaking :P and making out as well. Ehhh yeaah haha.
I was pretty much done dancing by 0030. That was like the longest break from any kinda dancing I've ever taken. The dancing is fun, but the club scene just ain't my thang :P But that doesn't mean I'll never go clubbing again. Maybe just once in a long while. For birthdays or something, I dunno.
We left around 0130. Went to Denny's. I was in Ariane's car. We went to the Denny's that was a block away. Brian, Maggie, Autumn, and Elora went to a different one waayyy down the street because they don't know how to listen to directions XP So Ariane and I left a message on Autumn's phone, admonishing her for not turning left haha.
Denny's was good. I got a French Toast Slam, I think it's called. We all mainly wanted drinks though. Service was just blehh. I left like a two-dollar tip.
After the late-night meal, we decided it was time to go back to Autumn's. Brian went home. And yeah, I do give hugs, Brian. Or well, I try >_> Mm, I guess special people in my life get hugs from me at least. From time to time, strangers do too :P
Anyway, I was in Ariane's car again. Followed Autumn's Beluga. So slow haha. Got caught up with Ariane a bit. In terms of her love life and whatnot.
Back at Autumn's, the five of us just talked until 0630 in the morning. Sex and relationships, fun stuff :P Interestingly enough, the majority of our conversations yesterday and this morning revolved around this topic. I felt so left out for much of the conversation though :P But it's all good. I can't relate or anything, but at least I'm learning things? haha I didn't have to share much either XP
Though, I feel like I said too much >_> But of course, they're smart kids, so they figure shit out anyway or just assume. No more asking me about my love life, people. It is nonexistent. It will stay that way because that's just how my life goes. That's how my luck goes. Every single time. So much disappointment. I thought I'd stopped expecting anything, but something always gets me. And I figure some shit out too that should stop me, but I just keep going. No more, no more, no more. I hope. Ugh. Just grr.
Sometimes, I really wish there was an off switch.
My friends tried to convince me of one thing, but I'm totally convinced of the other. Besides, they don't know everything XP
Aaanyway, I learned so many new things. Fun stuffs. Good times. Yep.
Don't know what I'm gonna do now. Wish I'd brought my iPod :/ Maybe I'll just lie down and think. I've been doing that a lot anyway. Think, think, think. Not sure it's productive or progressive, but it's all I'm gonna do. All I feel like I can do.
Blaahhh. I suck when I'm like this. I wish I'd stop. Change focus. Or well, get focus.
And maaan, I wish I would say more. I feel terrible that my friends tell me a lot about their lives, but I don't really give them much about mine. Not the really important stuff, you know. And I'm sorry for that. I'm working on it though. It will be a process, a very slow one, but it will happen.
Egh, I think I've said too much in this entry. But I'm just getting my thoughts down somewhere...
Ooh, so I forgot to post two days ago about three dreams I had. But you know, I don't even remember them all that well anymore. Or I do, but details are fuzzy.
Dream 1: A girl kissed me.
Dream 2: Same girl kisses someone else. And I'm heartbroken.
Dream 3: It had to do with a car accident. Crasher sued crashee for damages and won D:
Don't think Dream 3 was related to the first two haha. But yeah, the first two dreams, how reminiscent of real life. In sooo many ways. Though, the third one is believable too. We live in a fucked-up world filled with fucked-up people..
Ahh, delete delete delete... >_> Ok, I should just stop before I put up shit I'm gonna regret sharing with you. Even though "you" really just includes Maggie haha. Hi, Maggie :P
This may or may not be a long entry because I'm using Autumn's laptop and everyone's still asleep. I only got three hours of sleep, but I can't sleep anymore :/ Too many thoughts, I suppose. Damn.
So yesterday, Mother dropped me off at Autumn's place downtown around 1630. Maggie was already there. Just chilled and talked. I checked my email and stuff on Autumn's laptop :P Interwebz!
Around 1930, we walked to GJ for dinner. Dominique was our server. We agreed (as well as Brother) that she was cute :P Had cajun popcorn shrimp, cajun curly fries, crawfish hushpuppies, and something something etouffee haha. Oh yeah, can't forget the beignets a la mode. Good stuff. Brother covered the cost, even though he wasn't working. He kept texting me, asking me if everything was good and whatever haha. He's looking out for me and my friends. He really wants them to like me XP
We left the restaurant around 2030, I think. Went to the light rail station to wait for Elora. Had interesting conversations concerning lesbianism and its connection to hugs :P
When Elora came, we walked back to Autumn's to get ready for clubbing. Got our stuff together. We left later than expected, which really isn't much of a surprise. Met up with Ariane and Brian at the Macy's parking lot down the street from the club. Ahh, we were three minutes late for the birthday guestlist :( So Autumn, Elora, and Brian had to pay $15 each to get in.
The club wasn't packed when we came. It didn't become packed either. But it's understandable, Thanksgiving weekend; people go home.
Crystal (from Q&A) was there with her girlfriend and friends. At some point in the night, when I was dancing with my friends, she came up behind me (with a train of people?) and started grinding XP I was like "Uhhhh >_> whaat? ... Ok, whatever, just go with it." My friends were laughing at me because I don't grind :P If I really think about it, I've only done it twice before haha. And why am I always the one in front? -_- I feel so violated haha :P
Anyway, my friends had other clubgoers ask them to dance/grind. All but one were politely rejected. Though, I guess in Maggie's case, it was an unheard rejection :/ We were wary of that guy for the rest of the night. Actually, we were kinda wary of all dancers haha. Just such intense freaking :P and making out as well. Ehhh yeaah haha.
I was pretty much done dancing by 0030. That was like the longest break from any kinda dancing I've ever taken. The dancing is fun, but the club scene just ain't my thang :P But that doesn't mean I'll never go clubbing again. Maybe just once in a long while. For birthdays or something, I dunno.
We left around 0130. Went to Denny's. I was in Ariane's car. We went to the Denny's that was a block away. Brian, Maggie, Autumn, and Elora went to a different one waayyy down the street because they don't know how to listen to directions XP So Ariane and I left a message on Autumn's phone, admonishing her for not turning left haha.
Denny's was good. I got a French Toast Slam, I think it's called. We all mainly wanted drinks though. Service was just blehh. I left like a two-dollar tip.
After the late-night meal, we decided it was time to go back to Autumn's. Brian went home. And yeah, I do give hugs, Brian. Or well, I try >_> Mm, I guess special people in my life get hugs from me at least. From time to time, strangers do too :P
Anyway, I was in Ariane's car again. Followed Autumn's Beluga. So slow haha. Got caught up with Ariane a bit. In terms of her love life and whatnot.
Back at Autumn's, the five of us just talked until 0630 in the morning. Sex and relationships, fun stuff :P Interestingly enough, the majority of our conversations yesterday and this morning revolved around this topic. I felt so left out for much of the conversation though :P But it's all good. I can't relate or anything, but at least I'm learning things? haha I didn't have to share much either XP
Though, I feel like I said too much >_> But of course, they're smart kids, so they figure shit out anyway or just assume. No more asking me about my love life, people. It is nonexistent. It will stay that way because that's just how my life goes. That's how my luck goes. Every single time. So much disappointment. I thought I'd stopped expecting anything, but something always gets me. And I figure some shit out too that should stop me, but I just keep going. No more, no more, no more. I hope. Ugh. Just grr.
Sometimes, I really wish there was an off switch.
My friends tried to convince me of one thing, but I'm totally convinced of the other. Besides, they don't know everything XP
Aaanyway, I learned so many new things. Fun stuffs. Good times. Yep.
Don't know what I'm gonna do now. Wish I'd brought my iPod :/ Maybe I'll just lie down and think. I've been doing that a lot anyway. Think, think, think. Not sure it's productive or progressive, but it's all I'm gonna do. All I feel like I can do.
Blaahhh. I suck when I'm like this. I wish I'd stop. Change focus. Or well, get focus.
And maaan, I wish I would say more. I feel terrible that my friends tell me a lot about their lives, but I don't really give them much about mine. Not the really important stuff, you know. And I'm sorry for that. I'm working on it though. It will be a process, a very slow one, but it will happen.
Egh, I think I've said too much in this entry. But I'm just getting my thoughts down somewhere...
Ooh, so I forgot to post two days ago about three dreams I had. But you know, I don't even remember them all that well anymore. Or I do, but details are fuzzy.
Dream 1: A girl kissed me.
Dream 2: Same girl kisses someone else. And I'm heartbroken.
Dream 3: It had to do with a car accident. Crasher sued crashee for damages and won D:
Don't think Dream 3 was related to the first two haha. But yeah, the first two dreams, how reminiscent of real life. In sooo many ways. Though, the third one is believable too. We live in a fucked-up world filled with fucked-up people..
Ahh, delete delete delete... >_> Ok, I should just stop before I put up shit I'm gonna regret sharing with you. Even though "you" really just includes Maggie haha. Hi, Maggie :P
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Thanksgiving 2009
At D's again. Seriously need to get a legit Internet hook-up soon. I want my Interwebz. Sooo many emails after just a day -___- I don't like it when my inbox starts to fill up. I have to check at least twice a day. It's a compulsion. So sad.
Anyway, today, Brother and I went to get lobster and bo la lop (Viet food. Roll your own beef spring rolls) for the family repast :P It was our Thanksgiving lunch. Not dinner. Because we're weird like that.
Some negativity during the mastication process, but it passed over. Mostly just talked about past Thanksgivings, other people, and Brother's past and future. Fun stuff. Actually, I'm not really sure what we talked about, but it was quite nice to be sitting at the same table with the fam despite some raised voices and whatnot.
I had to drive the family around today too cuz Brother isn't allowed to drive and Mother won't drive -_- I'm tiiired. But I still gotta drive home after this. Bah!
So the weekend is going to be fun hopefully. Asked Mother if I could go out with friends tomorrow and sleep over at someone's place. She did not want to say yes, even though I told her it was a late birthday celebration with high school friends. She yelled at me instead -_- but later she gave me the silent I'm-angry-but-you-can-go nod. So tomorrow, dinner and then clubbing. Hopefully, it will all work out. Of course, I didn't tell her that I was gonna go clubbing >_> She would have bitched at me to no end. Seriously. She has yelled at me about going clubbing when I never even brought it up. In fact, it was Brother who did, but he goes out all the time. I don't. So I don't really see the connection.
But anyway, yeah. Gah, I don't know what to do with myself without Internet at home. I've just been reading, eating, and sleeping. Not my idea of a good weekend. I wanna at least go out and chill or something.
Though, I guess it's good that I won't be on the computer so much this weekend. I really need to find a hobby or activity to occupy myself XP
I've been finding myself deleting great portions of my entries before I post them. How sad. Guess I can't spill everything on here. Sorry. I'm trying though. I know (or am assuming) you wanna know what's going on in my life. I'm trying to put it all out there for you guys, but I don't even know who reads this. I don't want some stranger to read this (it's happened) and comment saying some weird shit (again, it's happened).
You know, I realize, after all these years of keeping blogs, how much I really hate talking about myself. Yet, I still do this cuz for some strange reason I think it's a good way for friends to keep up with my life, if they do indeed read them.
Gah, so much negative. Sorry. I feel like negative is all I can be when I'm alone or just in my head. I'm just gonna continue to be the same self-deprecating but supportive person that I've always been ^_^ Positive for you, negative for me. It's worked out for me so far. No worries, yeah?
Aye, I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore. Probably means I should end this.
Wow, I really didn't have much to say about Thanksgiving haha. I'm so lame XP
Anyway, tomorrow's gonna be fun, yeah? Yeah. Maybe Saturday too. Could be a spectator at the football game with Q&A folks. Fun stuff :)
Anyway, today, Brother and I went to get lobster and bo la lop (Viet food. Roll your own beef spring rolls) for the family repast :P It was our Thanksgiving lunch. Not dinner. Because we're weird like that.
Some negativity during the mastication process, but it passed over. Mostly just talked about past Thanksgivings, other people, and Brother's past and future. Fun stuff. Actually, I'm not really sure what we talked about, but it was quite nice to be sitting at the same table with the fam despite some raised voices and whatnot.
I had to drive the family around today too cuz Brother isn't allowed to drive and Mother won't drive -_- I'm tiiired. But I still gotta drive home after this. Bah!
So the weekend is going to be fun hopefully. Asked Mother if I could go out with friends tomorrow and sleep over at someone's place. She did not want to say yes, even though I told her it was a late birthday celebration with high school friends. She yelled at me instead -_- but later she gave me the silent I'm-angry-but-you-can-go nod. So tomorrow, dinner and then clubbing. Hopefully, it will all work out. Of course, I didn't tell her that I was gonna go clubbing >_> She would have bitched at me to no end. Seriously. She has yelled at me about going clubbing when I never even brought it up. In fact, it was Brother who did, but he goes out all the time. I don't. So I don't really see the connection.
But anyway, yeah. Gah, I don't know what to do with myself without Internet at home. I've just been reading, eating, and sleeping. Not my idea of a good weekend. I wanna at least go out and chill or something.
Though, I guess it's good that I won't be on the computer so much this weekend. I really need to find a hobby or activity to occupy myself XP
I've been finding myself deleting great portions of my entries before I post them. How sad. Guess I can't spill everything on here. Sorry. I'm trying though. I know (or am assuming) you wanna know what's going on in my life. I'm trying to put it all out there for you guys, but I don't even know who reads this. I don't want some stranger to read this (it's happened) and comment saying some weird shit (again, it's happened).
You know, I realize, after all these years of keeping blogs, how much I really hate talking about myself. Yet, I still do this cuz for some strange reason I think it's a good way for friends to keep up with my life, if they do indeed read them.
Gah, so much negative. Sorry. I feel like negative is all I can be when I'm alone or just in my head. I'm just gonna continue to be the same self-deprecating but supportive person that I've always been ^_^ Positive for you, negative for me. It's worked out for me so far. No worries, yeah?
Aye, I don't even know what I'm trying to say anymore. Probably means I should end this.
Wow, I really didn't have much to say about Thanksgiving haha. I'm so lame XP
Anyway, tomorrow's gonna be fun, yeah? Yeah. Maybe Saturday too. Could be a spectator at the football game with Q&A folks. Fun stuff :)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
"The stress won't get next to my chest to congest it."
I don't have much time to update. I'm using D's computer for a lil bit.
Today was all right. At least the time I spent on campus. Practiced Swing for two hours. Tatiana and I got our routine :) Added one or two moves that we didn't learn in class. Hopefully, I won't screw that up. But yeah, it's all good.
Q&A potluck. I was there first. Everyone else was late :O But when everyone did show up, there was a lot of food and merriment :P My pumpkin pie, pork buns, spam rice, steamed rice (in a rice cooker), pretzels, some kinda meat that I don't remember, Italian soda, and a Q&A confetti cake.
I went home later than usual. Phone died. Walked for half an hour to get home. Mother wasn't home anyway. Busy with car stuff, I guess. Apparently, something went wrong with the car brakes. No Avalon for the weekend. No Internet for the weekend either. I'm either gonna go to the library or someone else's house to use their computer. Need to check email and reply to stuff.
Mm, so Mother was angry at my bike idea for next semester. I don't know why. Not that much different from walking, except that it's faster. Still just as likely to get hit by a car. D thought it was a good idea. So whether Mother approves or not, I will start riding my bike next semester. Rain or not. Besides, the bike is collecting dust again.
No anger. I'm gonna let stuff slide. No complaints. I'm gonna let stuff go.
^I will do it eventually. On my own. Somehow.
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you, whoever reads this.
Today was all right. At least the time I spent on campus. Practiced Swing for two hours. Tatiana and I got our routine :) Added one or two moves that we didn't learn in class. Hopefully, I won't screw that up. But yeah, it's all good.
Q&A potluck. I was there first. Everyone else was late :O But when everyone did show up, there was a lot of food and merriment :P My pumpkin pie, pork buns, spam rice, steamed rice (in a rice cooker), pretzels, some kinda meat that I don't remember, Italian soda, and a Q&A confetti cake.
I went home later than usual. Phone died. Walked for half an hour to get home. Mother wasn't home anyway. Busy with car stuff, I guess. Apparently, something went wrong with the car brakes. No Avalon for the weekend. No Internet for the weekend either. I'm either gonna go to the library or someone else's house to use their computer. Need to check email and reply to stuff.
Mm, so Mother was angry at my bike idea for next semester. I don't know why. Not that much different from walking, except that it's faster. Still just as likely to get hit by a car. D thought it was a good idea. So whether Mother approves or not, I will start riding my bike next semester. Rain or not. Besides, the bike is collecting dust again.
No anger. I'm gonna let stuff slide. No complaints. I'm gonna let stuff go.
^I will do it eventually. On my own. Somehow.
Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you, whoever reads this.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Mother's car gets rear-ended a lot
It's true. Well, maybe not a lot. But pretty much every accident she has been in, she's been rear-ended by someone else.
So today was all right. Went to Physics with Lisa. Didn't pay attention, but I still managed to take notes. Finished all but six words in the crossword within the class period. After class, no Philosophy, so I sat at a bench, thinking and singing along to Ne-Yo haha. Around 1100, headed toward CVB. Ran into Tatiana and her friend Anders(?). Talked for about half an hour.
Geez, our generation is getting addicted to silly things such as Farmville and Restaurant City. I would rather read a book, which I do :P Though, I haven't been making much progress with Odd Thomas ): But this weekend, I will, since I only have AAS reading to do.
Maaaggie, are we still hanging out this weekend?
Anyway, went to Shiva's place around 11h00. Got my hat back, yay. Brian ("that other guy," not dancing Brian) was there for a lil while. Mm, just had some chill conversations. Games, music, movies (one more movie marathon to partake in. And I really need to finish my list of movies. It's getting sooo long. Maybe I'll post a short version of the list on here. Tomorrow, if I remember), other random stuff that I do not recall. Yeah, so we chilled till 1330 when Shiva had class.
After walking her to class, I met up with Lisa at the library to go home together on the light rail. Apparently, the church had a good pre-Thanksgiving feast. Eh, I'm saving my stomach for Thursday. That's if the fam buys food.
Mm, so I realize that my eventful days aren't exactly eventful but just enjoyable in some way. Always out of routine.
Though, today didn't stay enjoyable -__- Found out from Lisa that John Le was in a car accident over the weekend. He's ok, but his friend (the driver) isn't. All of this the result of John not being taken seriously because he really is a joker most of the time...
Then later, when I was home, Mother called me and urged me to get to her quickly. Someone rear-ended the Avalon in the intersection of Senter and Parrott. Mother irritated me, kept calling me so that she could yell at me for not being there already. Not like I could do anything. There was traffic. Buut I did my "woosah" thing. Didn't actually say "woosah," but you know what I mean, right? Yeah, of course.
Got to Mother. She was quite hysterical, egh. The lady who hit Mother's car didn't want to talk to Mother. Why? "I don't want to talk to her because she's crazy!" Yeah, I know. Nothing new. It's my mother. I know what she can be like. I don't know if it's just her or if it's an Asian thing, but when she explains something, she raises her voice and points all over the place. Very overdramatic. I kept telling her to stop pointing because that would make the other person feel attacked. But of course, Mother never listens.
Called the police. They came over an hour later. I was tired and annoyed. I didn't want to wait. I wasn't even in the accident. Ahh. I feel terrible for thinking like that, but I've been annoyed by Mother quite often lately. Today, though it wasn't her fault, she still irritated me. She wouldn't listen to me.. She wouldn't let the other driver explain to the police her version of the accident because Mother disagreed with it. Ahh.
All in all, I was just not in the mood for any of this. One, there wasn't too much damage. Scratched and chipped bumper on the Avalon. The other vehicle (GMC?) was ok, no visible damage. Two, no one was badly injured. Mother's back aches, and she got disoriented from the impact. But she didn't need to go to the hospital. Three, Mother was hysterical and angry. The other driver hit her car and wouldn't swap insurance info. Mother kept pointing angrily. She kept raising her voice, even though it didn't help any. She got mad at me (I'm still trying figure out why).
Honestly, I don't care that the lady hit the Avalon. I couldn't care less about the damage to the car because it's not broken or even dented. Just scratched and chipped. What really bothers me about all this is that Mother did get hurt. And she's going to rant about this accident every time she's angry from now on. Ahh.
I know I said no more angry entries. But seriously, I can't help it. Not like I'm the one that's angry. It's Mother. And she is taking it out on me. But you know what? Whatever. No anger, no complaints. My new motto or mantra or something haha. Still not perfected, but I'm working on it. I'm getting better, I think.
So tomorrow, I'm going to school despite not having any classes. Have you noticed I gravitated often toward school property this semester? I feel like if shit happens in my immediate life, campus would be my refuge. Not any friend's house, but school campus. And that is damn sad.. Like I wouldn't even go down the street to Le's house (no offense). I think I've said this before, but I really feel like I don't have anyone close enough to me that I could crash at their place if and when I need to. Gah, I need to find that best friend soon or something -__- Or move out. Staying home, I feel like I'm gonna go over the edge..
Grr. Negative. Need to stop.
So yeaah, going to campus tomorrow. Practice Swing with Tatiana at 0900 probably until whenever we feel like. Then Q&A Thanksgiving potluck, yaayyy. I'm bringing three-quarters of a pumpkin pie. Though, I don't have any utensils or plates or napkins :O Oh well, it will be a communal pie haha. Then I'm going home to sleep and read.
I don't know what I'll do after that, but yeah. Hmm, maybe I'll finally catch up with House and continue Code Geass. I should. I've put off CG for a bit too long now. And House seems to be going way far away from where I thought it would go :O
Two more weeks of schooool! Then two days of finals the week after. Then Lisa, Albert, and I might go visit ST. Maybe invite other people if I remember. OMG, Mrs Schwalen is retiring after this year T-T Rasmussen is already gone. I wonder if anyone replaced him. He's been at ST for so long. I can't imagine the school without him :O
Man, don't you just love how much my thinking jumps around? Seriously, I haven't been able to focus for a while. Though, I guess that's not too unusual. Now, it doesn't even matter. No more homework to work on, yay. I can't wait till Winter Break starts, so I can really rest and chillax. Though, I guess I'd still be tired. Why can't I stop being tired already? -_- It's been a couple years now. Can't I get a break from exhaustion?
Wow, I really don't know what I'm gonna do this weekend :O People, invite me somewhere! haha Not Black Friday shopping though. Shopping, ew. Walking around stores filled with murderous people, no thanks.
Oh, so just saying, for a person who gets mad at me for drinking alcohol, Mother sure has a lot of alcohol in the house. We've got big ass bottles of gin, whiskey, white wine, Remy Martin on display, and probably some other stuff I haven't seen. Ironic, no? Well, I think so.
Ah, so tired. Sore. My back hurts T_T I need to lie down more during the day. Being upright all day is not helping at all. Ok, now to watch Heroes. Then sleeeep. Or something :P
So today was all right. Went to Physics with Lisa. Didn't pay attention, but I still managed to take notes. Finished all but six words in the crossword within the class period. After class, no Philosophy, so I sat at a bench, thinking and singing along to Ne-Yo haha. Around 1100, headed toward CVB. Ran into Tatiana and her friend Anders(?). Talked for about half an hour.
Geez, our generation is getting addicted to silly things such as Farmville and Restaurant City. I would rather read a book, which I do :P Though, I haven't been making much progress with Odd Thomas ): But this weekend, I will, since I only have AAS reading to do.
Maaaggie, are we still hanging out this weekend?
Anyway, went to Shiva's place around 11h00. Got my hat back, yay. Brian ("that other guy," not dancing Brian) was there for a lil while. Mm, just had some chill conversations. Games, music, movies (one more movie marathon to partake in. And I really need to finish my list of movies. It's getting sooo long. Maybe I'll post a short version of the list on here. Tomorrow, if I remember), other random stuff that I do not recall. Yeah, so we chilled till 1330 when Shiva had class.
After walking her to class, I met up with Lisa at the library to go home together on the light rail. Apparently, the church had a good pre-Thanksgiving feast. Eh, I'm saving my stomach for Thursday. That's if the fam buys food.
Mm, so I realize that my eventful days aren't exactly eventful but just enjoyable in some way. Always out of routine.
Though, today didn't stay enjoyable -__- Found out from Lisa that John Le was in a car accident over the weekend. He's ok, but his friend (the driver) isn't. All of this the result of John not being taken seriously because he really is a joker most of the time...
Then later, when I was home, Mother called me and urged me to get to her quickly. Someone rear-ended the Avalon in the intersection of Senter and Parrott. Mother irritated me, kept calling me so that she could yell at me for not being there already. Not like I could do anything. There was traffic. Buut I did my "woosah" thing. Didn't actually say "woosah," but you know what I mean, right? Yeah, of course.
Got to Mother. She was quite hysterical, egh. The lady who hit Mother's car didn't want to talk to Mother. Why? "I don't want to talk to her because she's crazy!" Yeah, I know. Nothing new. It's my mother. I know what she can be like. I don't know if it's just her or if it's an Asian thing, but when she explains something, she raises her voice and points all over the place. Very overdramatic. I kept telling her to stop pointing because that would make the other person feel attacked. But of course, Mother never listens.
Called the police. They came over an hour later. I was tired and annoyed. I didn't want to wait. I wasn't even in the accident. Ahh. I feel terrible for thinking like that, but I've been annoyed by Mother quite often lately. Today, though it wasn't her fault, she still irritated me. She wouldn't listen to me.. She wouldn't let the other driver explain to the police her version of the accident because Mother disagreed with it. Ahh.
All in all, I was just not in the mood for any of this. One, there wasn't too much damage. Scratched and chipped bumper on the Avalon. The other vehicle (GMC?) was ok, no visible damage. Two, no one was badly injured. Mother's back aches, and she got disoriented from the impact. But she didn't need to go to the hospital. Three, Mother was hysterical and angry. The other driver hit her car and wouldn't swap insurance info. Mother kept pointing angrily. She kept raising her voice, even though it didn't help any. She got mad at me (I'm still trying figure out why).
Honestly, I don't care that the lady hit the Avalon. I couldn't care less about the damage to the car because it's not broken or even dented. Just scratched and chipped. What really bothers me about all this is that Mother did get hurt. And she's going to rant about this accident every time she's angry from now on. Ahh.
I know I said no more angry entries. But seriously, I can't help it. Not like I'm the one that's angry. It's Mother. And she is taking it out on me. But you know what? Whatever. No anger, no complaints. My new motto or mantra or something haha. Still not perfected, but I'm working on it. I'm getting better, I think.
So tomorrow, I'm going to school despite not having any classes. Have you noticed I gravitated often toward school property this semester? I feel like if shit happens in my immediate life, campus would be my refuge. Not any friend's house, but school campus. And that is damn sad.. Like I wouldn't even go down the street to Le's house (no offense). I think I've said this before, but I really feel like I don't have anyone close enough to me that I could crash at their place if and when I need to. Gah, I need to find that best friend soon or something -__- Or move out. Staying home, I feel like I'm gonna go over the edge..
Grr. Negative. Need to stop.
So yeaah, going to campus tomorrow. Practice Swing with Tatiana at 0900 probably until whenever we feel like. Then Q&A Thanksgiving potluck, yaayyy. I'm bringing three-quarters of a pumpkin pie. Though, I don't have any utensils or plates or napkins :O Oh well, it will be a communal pie haha. Then I'm going home to sleep and read.
I don't know what I'll do after that, but yeah. Hmm, maybe I'll finally catch up with House and continue Code Geass. I should. I've put off CG for a bit too long now. And House seems to be going way far away from where I thought it would go :O
Two more weeks of schooool! Then two days of finals the week after. Then Lisa, Albert, and I might go visit ST. Maybe invite other people if I remember. OMG, Mrs Schwalen is retiring after this year T-T Rasmussen is already gone. I wonder if anyone replaced him. He's been at ST for so long. I can't imagine the school without him :O
Man, don't you just love how much my thinking jumps around? Seriously, I haven't been able to focus for a while. Though, I guess that's not too unusual. Now, it doesn't even matter. No more homework to work on, yay. I can't wait till Winter Break starts, so I can really rest and chillax. Though, I guess I'd still be tired. Why can't I stop being tired already? -_- It's been a couple years now. Can't I get a break from exhaustion?
Wow, I really don't know what I'm gonna do this weekend :O People, invite me somewhere! haha Not Black Friday shopping though. Shopping, ew. Walking around stores filled with murderous people, no thanks.
Oh, so just saying, for a person who gets mad at me for drinking alcohol, Mother sure has a lot of alcohol in the house. We've got big ass bottles of gin, whiskey, white wine, Remy Martin on display, and probably some other stuff I haven't seen. Ironic, no? Well, I think so.
Ah, so tired. Sore. My back hurts T_T I need to lie down more during the day. Being upright all day is not helping at all. Ok, now to watch Heroes. Then sleeeep. Or something :P
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
Eventful day #3
Today, I drove Brother to work way early, like at 0930. Drove to the ice rink, but waited in the parking lot until 10h00. Talked to two of my classmates for fifteen minutes. Then we went in to take notes for the final review. Hockey written final in two weeks, yay.
After fifteen minutes, we were done, and I was gone. Drove to campus. Got there by 1100 to practice a lil bit of Swing with Tatiana. Tried to find some swing songs on YouTube to dance to. I tried to teach her the Pretzel move, but it was somewhat difficult because I don't know the follower's part well and her room is small XP Must be careful, or else someone's going to have a broken arm :O
Around 1200, I went to Shiva's apartment (yeah, we've been chillin' more often. More so than I do with my other friends anyway). Pretty much spent the whole day with her and her friends.
Kendo & Naginata club pictures in the arena in the Sport Center. Took like an hour or something haha. Well, less. I stood to the side to wait and stuff. Practiced some swing steps, but couldn't remember much -_- Apparently, Shiva got like two pictures of me in the background dancing XP But it doesn't look like I'm doing anything.
After the photo shoot thing, Shiva, JD, Brian L, and I went to JD's dorm, so that they could leave stuff there. Then we all (Kendo peoples +1) went to Sa-By Thai for lunch. I had the crispy calamari (you know how I love calamari) and fresh coconut juice. They actually just chop off the top of a coconut and stick a straw and spoon in it for you. That was pretty awesome :D And the club's sensei (aka Big Bad Voodoo Daddy hahaha) was very profound.
After lunch, went back to JD's room to get stuff. He kicked us out, so that he could sleep XP
Back to the apartment around 1630. I pretty much sat in the same chair for the next five hours. After 1720, I signed up for my Spring classes on Shiva's laptop. I had spent the longest time before that trying to decide how to put my schedule together: 3 classes MW, 1 class TTh orrr 2 classes per day. I went with the latter choice with 14 units. So next semester, I'm gonna have a five-hour break on Mondays and Wednesdays and an hour and forty-five minute break on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Spring '10
Monday/Wednesday:
AAS 33B (Asian American US History/Politics) 0900-1015
FREN 1A (Elementary French) 1500-1705
Tuesday/Thursday:
LING 20 (Nature of Language) 1330-1445
SOCI 1 (Intro to Sociology) 1630-1745
So that's my schedule for next semester. I want to add one more class just to fill in time, but the unit cap is 14 -____- and that's 14 units right there. The French class is five units, which means there's gonna be a lot of work. Oh fun. Hopefully.
Anyway, after I signed up, I didn't really do much of anything else except talk to Shiva. And Kevin. And watched TV. Mother called at 1800 to tell me to pick up the brother. Called him. He wasn't leaving work till 2100. So I stayed until 2100. Didn't eat any of the early Thanksgiving party food that one of the roommates made. I don't like eating the fruits of someone's labor, especially when I wasn't invited in the first place haha.
Mm yeah, so I left around 2100. Brother didn't end up going home -_- So I went home alone. Mother opened the door and clearly expressed her displeasure at me not being home all day.. Mm..
I really wanted to put more detail into this, but I'm so exhausted that my brain can't think of anything to add. Oh, and it seems I forgot my hat at Shiva's place. Mm..
After fifteen minutes, we were done, and I was gone. Drove to campus. Got there by 1100 to practice a lil bit of Swing with Tatiana. Tried to find some swing songs on YouTube to dance to. I tried to teach her the Pretzel move, but it was somewhat difficult because I don't know the follower's part well and her room is small XP Must be careful, or else someone's going to have a broken arm :O
Around 1200, I went to Shiva's apartment (yeah, we've been chillin' more often. More so than I do with my other friends anyway). Pretty much spent the whole day with her and her friends.
Kendo & Naginata club pictures in the arena in the Sport Center. Took like an hour or something haha. Well, less. I stood to the side to wait and stuff. Practiced some swing steps, but couldn't remember much -_- Apparently, Shiva got like two pictures of me in the background dancing XP But it doesn't look like I'm doing anything.
After the photo shoot thing, Shiva, JD, Brian L, and I went to JD's dorm, so that they could leave stuff there. Then we all (Kendo peoples +1) went to Sa-By Thai for lunch. I had the crispy calamari (you know how I love calamari) and fresh coconut juice. They actually just chop off the top of a coconut and stick a straw and spoon in it for you. That was pretty awesome :D And the club's sensei (aka Big Bad Voodoo Daddy hahaha) was very profound.
After lunch, went back to JD's room to get stuff. He kicked us out, so that he could sleep XP
Back to the apartment around 1630. I pretty much sat in the same chair for the next five hours. After 1720, I signed up for my Spring classes on Shiva's laptop. I had spent the longest time before that trying to decide how to put my schedule together: 3 classes MW, 1 class TTh orrr 2 classes per day. I went with the latter choice with 14 units. So next semester, I'm gonna have a five-hour break on Mondays and Wednesdays and an hour and forty-five minute break on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Spring '10
Monday/Wednesday:
AAS 33B (Asian American US History/Politics) 0900-1015
FREN 1A (Elementary French) 1500-1705
Tuesday/Thursday:
LING 20 (Nature of Language) 1330-1445
SOCI 1 (Intro to Sociology) 1630-1745
So that's my schedule for next semester. I want to add one more class just to fill in time, but the unit cap is 14 -____- and that's 14 units right there. The French class is five units, which means there's gonna be a lot of work. Oh fun. Hopefully.
Anyway, after I signed up, I didn't really do much of anything else except talk to Shiva. And Kevin. And watched TV. Mother called at 1800 to tell me to pick up the brother. Called him. He wasn't leaving work till 2100. So I stayed until 2100. Didn't eat any of the early Thanksgiving party food that one of the roommates made. I don't like eating the fruits of someone's labor, especially when I wasn't invited in the first place haha.
Mm yeah, so I left around 2100. Brother didn't end up going home -_- So I went home alone. Mother opened the door and clearly expressed her displeasure at me not being home all day.. Mm..
I really wanted to put more detail into this, but I'm so exhausted that my brain can't think of anything to add. Oh, and it seems I forgot my hat at Shiva's place. Mm..
Friday, November 13, 2009
Who fuckin' owns at being goalie?
I do, bitches! haha
So I decided to be (the only) goalie during scrimmage. The gear was quite difficult to put on haha XP Asked one of the girls who played goalie before to help me out. Got gloves and a goalie stick from Mike. Got on the ice.
Mm, so I don't remember if I've explained this yet, but I will now. The two sides are basically separated by jerseys. Light (white, yellow, orange) vs Dark (black, blue, teal). Or you could look at it as good vs evil :P Today, one of the blue jerseys played on the wrong side, so I had to watch out for him.
At first, I defended the goal against the dark side. But the players seemed to congregate at the opposite end of the rink a lot. So I switched over to the other goal and defended against the light side. And it ended up that the players would play at my original goal more often -__- So I didn't see the puck too often.
But I stayed where I was for the rest of class. I wanted a challenge. The light side players were better at offense. And they had two players that were just going at it hard. No offense to the dark side, but they weren't great at offense. Almost all of their shots went wide (or it seemed so from my perspective). Good defense though. And they usually got to the puck before the other team. And they went at the game hella hard too. Casey (sp?) actually broke her stick haha. I heard it, but I didn't see it.
So I'm pretty terrible at hockey, yeah? I've said so. I fall a lot. I can't keep up. So playing offense is out of the question for me (for now).
As goalie, I pretty much kick ass ^_^ haha just kidding. I still fell four or five times. But I only let one shot go in at the beginning. My excuse for that was I wasn't used to the goalie gear yet. Nor was I used to my glasses falling down (I let Raisa borrow my lanyard thing to keep up her glasses).
After that first shot, no more shots got past me hehe. I'm just full of surprises, you know. I just let you see me in real action once in a while or right at the very end when you don't expect to see me do shit :P
And I kept falling because, yes, I still have terrible balance. Also, because the force of a few of the shots were enough to knock me backward XP I wasn't crouching low enough, I guess. And wow, it is haaard to get back up when you fall. The shin guards kinda get in the way of getting up haha.
Man, I hella like being goalie. Get to see the whole scrimmage. I don't have to go anywhere fast :P And I get hella compliments at the end, even from Mike haha ^_^ That felt good. I should have been playing goalie weeks ago XP I've always been good at defense. I should have just done it. Too bad this was the last class.
Next semester, I'm definitely coming back to play goalie :D
Haha I'm surprised that I'm any good at goalie. I have a slow reaction time compared to most people. But I guess it's more like I slow down the puck in my mind ^_^ So Matrix-y.
Hmm, for some strange reason, my right ring finger is kinda numb, pins and needles -_- I don't know what I did to it. Maybe I fell on it, mm... I need a finger massage! haha
Anyway, yeah, I feel good. Thank goodness. Yesterday and this morning were quite bleh/grr. Hockey made my day. So yeah, next semester! Definitely my pick-me-up activity for Friday mornings.
So I decided to be (the only) goalie during scrimmage. The gear was quite difficult to put on haha XP Asked one of the girls who played goalie before to help me out. Got gloves and a goalie stick from Mike. Got on the ice.
Mm, so I don't remember if I've explained this yet, but I will now. The two sides are basically separated by jerseys. Light (white, yellow, orange) vs Dark (black, blue, teal). Or you could look at it as good vs evil :P Today, one of the blue jerseys played on the wrong side, so I had to watch out for him.
At first, I defended the goal against the dark side. But the players seemed to congregate at the opposite end of the rink a lot. So I switched over to the other goal and defended against the light side. And it ended up that the players would play at my original goal more often -__- So I didn't see the puck too often.
But I stayed where I was for the rest of class. I wanted a challenge. The light side players were better at offense. And they had two players that were just going at it hard. No offense to the dark side, but they weren't great at offense. Almost all of their shots went wide (or it seemed so from my perspective). Good defense though. And they usually got to the puck before the other team. And they went at the game hella hard too. Casey (sp?) actually broke her stick haha. I heard it, but I didn't see it.
So I'm pretty terrible at hockey, yeah? I've said so. I fall a lot. I can't keep up. So playing offense is out of the question for me (for now).
As goalie, I pretty much kick ass ^_^ haha just kidding. I still fell four or five times. But I only let one shot go in at the beginning. My excuse for that was I wasn't used to the goalie gear yet. Nor was I used to my glasses falling down (I let Raisa borrow my lanyard thing to keep up her glasses).
After that first shot, no more shots got past me hehe. I'm just full of surprises, you know. I just let you see me in real action once in a while or right at the very end when you don't expect to see me do shit :P
And I kept falling because, yes, I still have terrible balance. Also, because the force of a few of the shots were enough to knock me backward XP I wasn't crouching low enough, I guess. And wow, it is haaard to get back up when you fall. The shin guards kinda get in the way of getting up haha.
Man, I hella like being goalie. Get to see the whole scrimmage. I don't have to go anywhere fast :P And I get hella compliments at the end, even from Mike haha ^_^ That felt good. I should have been playing goalie weeks ago XP I've always been good at defense. I should have just done it. Too bad this was the last class.
Next semester, I'm definitely coming back to play goalie :D
Haha I'm surprised that I'm any good at goalie. I have a slow reaction time compared to most people. But I guess it's more like I slow down the puck in my mind ^_^ So Matrix-y.
Hmm, for some strange reason, my right ring finger is kinda numb, pins and needles -_- I don't know what I did to it. Maybe I fell on it, mm... I need a finger massage! haha
Anyway, yeah, I feel good. Thank goodness. Yesterday and this morning were quite bleh/grr. Hockey made my day. So yeah, next semester! Definitely my pick-me-up activity for Friday mornings.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Another eventful day...
Though, I didn't do much altogether.
Had to do errands for Mother before I could go to SJSU. Dry cleaning and dropping something off at someone's house.
Met up with Tatiana. Listened to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy to try to find a good swing song. Two possible songs, I think. Don't remember. We didn't really practice much haha. I tried to work on that quick stepping thing (toe heel touch??).
Around 1130, I dropped her off at SCU so she could do her homework. Btw, I sooo did not do any work today XP
Went back to campus. Chilled in Shiva's living room for an hour and a half. Got a call from Mother at 1345 to drive Brother to work. So drove home. Found out I'd have to drive home one more time from GJ because Mother ordered food. Why they didn't tell me about it before I drove home, I don't know. So I drove Brother to work and then drove home once more. Then back to campus to Shiva's apartment.
Watched a bit of Samurai Champloo. I've never watched it before, but I thought of Andrew's Mugen outfit last year.
Around 1600, I took Shiva out to eat at Ariake, since that's where a lot of people tell me to go for sushi. She didn't eat very much though -__- Ate very little. I felt like I was eating too much, and I usually eat the least out of all my friends :O I had the Kamikaze and Oh Yes rolls (didn't finish them >_> I can't stuff down twelve rolls). Shiva had the Ninja roll, which was apparently just ok.
After the food (so full), we went to Oakridge across the street and walked around the mall. Went in a few stores. Didn't buy anything. Nothing really interesting, except for the mini frogs and the light-up shirts :P Oh, when we went into Zumiez, the same girl from last time was working. She asked us how we were doing and then proceeded to ignore Shiva's reply. haha aww.
Despite being full from the sushi, Shiva ate Mrs. Field's cookies :O I didn't get that haha. Mm, and for such a small person, she sure is strong/forceful XP I wasn't trying hard, but I couldn't push her back when she pushed me. Damn, I'm weak haha.
About 1930, I decided we should leave. The mall isn't interesting, but it gives you a lot of time and ideas for conversation.
We went back to her apartment. Watched Family Guy, though she doesn't like the show D: Looked at cute little ragdoll kittens XD
I left at 2030. Lots of slow traffic -_- Now, I'm home. Not doing much. Should go to bed early. Hope I get some homework done tomorrow. Man, I'm hella tired. Shoulder is sore. Should have laid down when I could. Been upright all day, egh.
Also, lately, I've been finding out that many of my new friends or classmates took French in high school :D What luck. I usually meet students who took Spanish because it was easier :P Anyway, yeaah, I just thought that was awesome. Yay for francais.
And before I forget...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE! Yay, you're 19!
Had to do errands for Mother before I could go to SJSU. Dry cleaning and dropping something off at someone's house.
Met up with Tatiana. Listened to Big Bad Voodoo Daddy to try to find a good swing song. Two possible songs, I think. Don't remember. We didn't really practice much haha. I tried to work on that quick stepping thing (toe heel touch??).
Around 1130, I dropped her off at SCU so she could do her homework. Btw, I sooo did not do any work today XP
Went back to campus. Chilled in Shiva's living room for an hour and a half. Got a call from Mother at 1345 to drive Brother to work. So drove home. Found out I'd have to drive home one more time from GJ because Mother ordered food. Why they didn't tell me about it before I drove home, I don't know. So I drove Brother to work and then drove home once more. Then back to campus to Shiva's apartment.
Watched a bit of Samurai Champloo. I've never watched it before, but I thought of Andrew's Mugen outfit last year.
Around 1600, I took Shiva out to eat at Ariake, since that's where a lot of people tell me to go for sushi. She didn't eat very much though -__- Ate very little. I felt like I was eating too much, and I usually eat the least out of all my friends :O I had the Kamikaze and Oh Yes rolls (didn't finish them >_> I can't stuff down twelve rolls). Shiva had the Ninja roll, which was apparently just ok.
After the food (so full), we went to Oakridge across the street and walked around the mall. Went in a few stores. Didn't buy anything. Nothing really interesting, except for the mini frogs and the light-up shirts :P Oh, when we went into Zumiez, the same girl from last time was working. She asked us how we were doing and then proceeded to ignore Shiva's reply. haha aww.
Despite being full from the sushi, Shiva ate Mrs. Field's cookies :O I didn't get that haha. Mm, and for such a small person, she sure is strong/forceful XP I wasn't trying hard, but I couldn't push her back when she pushed me. Damn, I'm weak haha.
About 1930, I decided we should leave. The mall isn't interesting, but it gives you a lot of time and ideas for conversation.
We went back to her apartment. Watched Family Guy, though she doesn't like the show D: Looked at cute little ragdoll kittens XD
I left at 2030. Lots of slow traffic -_- Now, I'm home. Not doing much. Should go to bed early. Hope I get some homework done tomorrow. Man, I'm hella tired. Shoulder is sore. Should have laid down when I could. Been upright all day, egh.
Also, lately, I've been finding out that many of my new friends or classmates took French in high school :D What luck. I usually meet students who took Spanish because it was easier :P Anyway, yeaah, I just thought that was awesome. Yay for francais.
And before I forget...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAGGIE! Yay, you're 19!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Today strayed from routine...
but it was an eventful day ^_^
So Philosophy was canceled for furlough. I knew that. Had planned to chill with Shiva at 10 or so. Showed up to school for Physics at 9 with Lisa. Turned out class was canceled 'cause Shao is sick. So an extra hour and a half of nothing to do. Lisa and I just sat at a bench along the diagonal walkway near the library and Hugh Gillis and talked about stuff as I was doing a crossword puzzle (which, btw, I have not finished D:).
Oh, before we had headed to Physics, we found out that Albert has been going to Physics in the same building at the same time on the same days this whole semester :O haha So sad we didn't know before.
Aaanyway, evacuation drill at 10. Shiva had already told me about it, and then I read it in the paper this morning. So I looked at my watch right when it became 10 AM, and the alarm sounded right at that moment. Perfect timing :P Didn't see anyone react. Lisa and I just sat there, wondering what exactly we were supposed to do. We ended up just sitting there, watching people.
After ten minutes, the alarms near us stopped ringing. I started heading in the direction of CVB. Met up with Shiva near the LGBT Center. Met Brian, "that guy who is really that other guy because I already know a that guy" -nods- It makes complete sense, doesn't it? Hell yeah.
We debated (or more like Shiva couldn't decide) where to go for breakfast, since the apartments were evacuated and people were forbidden from entering too soon. But eventually, the apartments were open again, and we just chilled in Shiva's living room. She ate waffles :P
Learned a few things: new cop cruiser coming out in 2012, gonna be difficult to spot those things at night; Kirk Cameron (actor from Growing Pains) is a Christian fundamentalist; Brian is another one of those sexually explicit guys (I've noticed almost all the Brians with an "i" that I have met in my life use a lot of sexual innuendos); no one, and I mean no one that I know, can beat me in "Are You Nervous?" At least not when they're asking me that question XP
Hmm, what else? Oh, Shiva kept throwing her gloves at me D: And then she upgraded to her scarf. Of course, I had to retaliate and throw them back. Headshots ftw! And she took a cheap shot at me when I was distracted by the laptop -__-
At about 12, she had to go somewhere. So the three of us left the building and headed toward Dudley Moorhead? More innuendo from Brian. Personal bubble talk became talk about other bubbles >_>
Along the way, we ran into Jonathan (from the Halloween party!). Lots of touching between the questionably straight males. Shiva left. Jonathan, Brian, and I headed back to Jon's dorm to play Brawl haha. I kept dying first XP I almost won once. Second time I've played the game in like a month. Mm, more innuendo. Some of which didn't make any sense, but ok.
Headed to lab around 1310. Second to last lab, like OMFG, I'm so glad XP Though, I am not happy that we won't have our last lab until Dec 1st. Why? Because the other lab classes are not as far ahead as we are -__- Seriously? I just want to be done with these labs already. But no. I'm gonna have a two-week break from lab because we have to wait for the others to catch up. Not cool. But yeah, next two weeks, on Tuesdays, I'ma be free from 1145 to 1730. Geez.
After lab, I was heading toward the library to talk with Harrison. But I ran into John and Kevin (free-lunch buddies), while they were trying to catch squirrels. Ended up talking to them for quite a while. Tommy joined us soon. He brought out Oreos to feed the squirrels. Angela then joined us. And we spent a good hour having our innocent fun with the squirrels. More like the guys threw bits of Oreos at the squirrels and Angela squealed/squeaked/screamed. I just stood there, laughing at all of them :P
I found out none of them went to the free lunch today. But Lisa and Albert did :P I feel bad because I decided not to go. I didn't feel like walking all the way there from the dorms. Too far.
I did eventually go to the library. Talked to Harrison for half an hour. He gave me a belated birthday gift: two AMC movie tickets :D Now, I just don't know who I would go to the movies with. Can't go with a bunch of friends because I'd feel bad for going for free. Must save for my first movie date hahaha. Yeah, right. First date, pffft XP
Hugged Harrison before I left for the QTIP meeting. See? I can hug. Willingly, I might add. It is awkward sometimes, but I can handle it. I might seem uncomfortable, but I'm just a good actress :P hehe. Good at guilt tripping you too.
Anyway, the QTIP meeting was fun. Pizza My Heart. Paid $2. The pizza isn't as good as I remember. Though, I've only had PMH like twice before. Greasy stuff. Reminded me of the Buca di Beppo pizza XP Not as bad as BdB, but still. Had discussion about going home for the holidays and about class registrations. Fun stuff. And again, Shiva attacked me. Pinched my cheeks and poked me. I got her back though XP Then there was Hot Seat. Luis C was questioned. I'd list the things that were mentioned, but apparently it got too disturbing haha. Oh, it can never get too disturbing muahaha.
I left at 1830. Took the light rail home with Harrison 'cause I felt safer that way :P But he misunderstood my directions as to where to meet me D: And I waited an unnecessary ten minutes. On the light rail, he showed me online photos on his iTouch. He has my email address saved in his photos (screen shot?). He also has my senior portrait saved @_@ creeeepy XP haha jk! Well, actually, it is creepy, but he's a friend and we've already come to a mutual understanding about our friendship. So it's all good :P Though, sometimes, I still wonder, hmm...
Today was a chill day. Like real chill. I'm happy with today. Or at least the part that was spent at school and on the light rail.
Mm, so tomorrow, there's no school. But I'm going to campus to practice Swing with Tatiana. I need to learn that quick step thing -__- I'm not getting it. Then I think I'm driving her somewhere. Then I won't have anything else to do all day. I could go home and do homework, but I already know I won't be able to concentrate, for I will be thinking that I could do something fun. Like chillax with someone. So maybe I'll find someone to chill with tomorrow :D I hope so. Don't wanna waste tomorrow on boring shit. I have the weekend for that.
Ooh, I should probably decide what classes I'm gonna take for next semester too. Talked to Wayne Simms about that yesterday. Didn't really choose anything. But got stuff clarified. Like I don't have to declare a major until my last year, technically. Stuff like that. Whew, less pressure haha.
Anyway, yeah, I think that's all I've got to say. I'm sure I forgot something somewhat important, but oh well.
So Philosophy was canceled for furlough. I knew that. Had planned to chill with Shiva at 10 or so. Showed up to school for Physics at 9 with Lisa. Turned out class was canceled 'cause Shao is sick. So an extra hour and a half of nothing to do. Lisa and I just sat at a bench along the diagonal walkway near the library and Hugh Gillis and talked about stuff as I was doing a crossword puzzle (which, btw, I have not finished D:).
Oh, before we had headed to Physics, we found out that Albert has been going to Physics in the same building at the same time on the same days this whole semester :O haha So sad we didn't know before.
Aaanyway, evacuation drill at 10. Shiva had already told me about it, and then I read it in the paper this morning. So I looked at my watch right when it became 10 AM, and the alarm sounded right at that moment. Perfect timing :P Didn't see anyone react. Lisa and I just sat there, wondering what exactly we were supposed to do. We ended up just sitting there, watching people.
After ten minutes, the alarms near us stopped ringing. I started heading in the direction of CVB. Met up with Shiva near the LGBT Center. Met Brian, "that guy who is really that other guy because I already know a that guy" -nods- It makes complete sense, doesn't it? Hell yeah.
We debated (or more like Shiva couldn't decide) where to go for breakfast, since the apartments were evacuated and people were forbidden from entering too soon. But eventually, the apartments were open again, and we just chilled in Shiva's living room. She ate waffles :P
Learned a few things: new cop cruiser coming out in 2012, gonna be difficult to spot those things at night; Kirk Cameron (actor from Growing Pains) is a Christian fundamentalist; Brian is another one of those sexually explicit guys (I've noticed almost all the Brians with an "i" that I have met in my life use a lot of sexual innuendos); no one, and I mean no one that I know, can beat me in "Are You Nervous?" At least not when they're asking me that question XP
Hmm, what else? Oh, Shiva kept throwing her gloves at me D: And then she upgraded to her scarf. Of course, I had to retaliate and throw them back. Headshots ftw! And she took a cheap shot at me when I was distracted by the laptop -__-
At about 12, she had to go somewhere. So the three of us left the building and headed toward Dudley Moorhead? More innuendo from Brian. Personal bubble talk became talk about other bubbles >_>
Along the way, we ran into Jonathan (from the Halloween party!). Lots of touching between the questionably straight males. Shiva left. Jonathan, Brian, and I headed back to Jon's dorm to play Brawl haha. I kept dying first XP I almost won once. Second time I've played the game in like a month. Mm, more innuendo. Some of which didn't make any sense, but ok.
Headed to lab around 1310. Second to last lab, like OMFG, I'm so glad XP Though, I am not happy that we won't have our last lab until Dec 1st. Why? Because the other lab classes are not as far ahead as we are -__- Seriously? I just want to be done with these labs already. But no. I'm gonna have a two-week break from lab because we have to wait for the others to catch up. Not cool. But yeah, next two weeks, on Tuesdays, I'ma be free from 1145 to 1730. Geez.
After lab, I was heading toward the library to talk with Harrison. But I ran into John and Kevin (free-lunch buddies), while they were trying to catch squirrels. Ended up talking to them for quite a while. Tommy joined us soon. He brought out Oreos to feed the squirrels. Angela then joined us. And we spent a good hour having our innocent fun with the squirrels. More like the guys threw bits of Oreos at the squirrels and Angela squealed/squeaked/screamed. I just stood there, laughing at all of them :P
I found out none of them went to the free lunch today. But Lisa and Albert did :P I feel bad because I decided not to go. I didn't feel like walking all the way there from the dorms. Too far.
I did eventually go to the library. Talked to Harrison for half an hour. He gave me a belated birthday gift: two AMC movie tickets :D Now, I just don't know who I would go to the movies with. Can't go with a bunch of friends because I'd feel bad for going for free. Must save for my first movie date hahaha. Yeah, right. First date, pffft XP
Hugged Harrison before I left for the QTIP meeting. See? I can hug. Willingly, I might add. It is awkward sometimes, but I can handle it. I might seem uncomfortable, but I'm just a good actress :P hehe. Good at guilt tripping you too.
Anyway, the QTIP meeting was fun. Pizza My Heart. Paid $2. The pizza isn't as good as I remember. Though, I've only had PMH like twice before. Greasy stuff. Reminded me of the Buca di Beppo pizza XP Not as bad as BdB, but still. Had discussion about going home for the holidays and about class registrations. Fun stuff. And again, Shiva attacked me. Pinched my cheeks and poked me. I got her back though XP Then there was Hot Seat. Luis C was questioned. I'd list the things that were mentioned, but apparently it got too disturbing haha. Oh, it can never get too disturbing muahaha.
I left at 1830. Took the light rail home with Harrison 'cause I felt safer that way :P But he misunderstood my directions as to where to meet me D: And I waited an unnecessary ten minutes. On the light rail, he showed me online photos on his iTouch. He has my email address saved in his photos (screen shot?). He also has my senior portrait saved @_@ creeeepy XP haha jk! Well, actually, it is creepy, but he's a friend and we've already come to a mutual understanding about our friendship. So it's all good :P Though, sometimes, I still wonder, hmm...
Today was a chill day. Like real chill. I'm happy with today. Or at least the part that was spent at school and on the light rail.
Mm, so tomorrow, there's no school. But I'm going to campus to practice Swing with Tatiana. I need to learn that quick step thing -__- I'm not getting it. Then I think I'm driving her somewhere. Then I won't have anything else to do all day. I could go home and do homework, but I already know I won't be able to concentrate, for I will be thinking that I could do something fun. Like chillax with someone. So maybe I'll find someone to chill with tomorrow :D I hope so. Don't wanna waste tomorrow on boring shit. I have the weekend for that.
Ooh, I should probably decide what classes I'm gonna take for next semester too. Talked to Wayne Simms about that yesterday. Didn't really choose anything. But got stuff clarified. Like I don't have to declare a major until my last year, technically. Stuff like that. Whew, less pressure haha.
Anyway, yeah, I think that's all I've got to say. I'm sure I forgot something somewhat important, but oh well.
Friday, November 6, 2009
First hockey scrimmage...
that I've participated in. I regret not trying to scrimmage the first three weeks. Sad now that next week is the last hockey class. Week after, we get our review for finals. Then week after Thanksgiving, we have our final.
So today, we had a sub. Same guy from the time I actually practiced with the class.
During scrimmage, we switch off five players every two minutes. So my knee didn't hurt today, yay. But my butt hurt a lot because I fell hard so many times XP I hit the puck three times though :P Two of those times, I managed to hit the puck away from the opposing team. The third time, I fell, and the other team still got the puck haha.
But it was all good fun. I collided into like two different people because we were all going after the puck.
So I can't really keep up. But if I just bide my time, the puck comes to me eventually haha.
I wanna try goalie next week. I'm pretty good at defense (as long as I know where I'm going), so yeah.
Although I didn't score or anything, I felt accomplished :D Raisa (classmate) and I are thinking of going to hockey again next semester. Just use someone else's gear. That's what some people have been doing this semester. Someone's been using my gear on Thursdays; stuff keeps changing (i.e. helmet gets tighter, pants get looser). So yeah, apparently, anyone can get into the class without paying.
Amy said she could help me improve my skating over Winter Break, so :) yay for improving. Plus, I really don't want to forget how to skate or play hockey haha. That would be sad. Even if I enjoy being a spectator most of the time.
Anyway, this is a weekend filled with homework that I may or may not finish. And seriously, I can't believe semester is going by so fast (I keep repeating myself). Two more essays and physics questions for homework for the next four weeks. Then my finals start. Dance and Hockey the week after Thanksgiving. Then two weeks later, AAS and PHIL finals back to back on Monday, Dec 14. PHYS final on Tuesday, Dec 15. Then I'm done!
Aye, and I don't know why I'm calling finals midterms. Before, I kept calling midterms finals. Now, this. I'm working in reverse or something.
Tuesday - furlough in PHIL, but I'll still be on campus because I've got lab and a club meeting/potluck.
Wednesday - Veteran's Day. Furlough. What will I do? I haven't told Mother that I don't have classes that day yet >_>
I also need to find time to meet with an academic advisor, so that I can choose classes for next semester. Also need to find time to go to the Philosophy Center, so that I can get my essay reviewed. Then I need to start thinking about a Swing routine (And that's East Coast Single-Step Swing). Only four weeks to prepare :O
Mm, yeah, fun, kinda feels busy.
So today, we had a sub. Same guy from the time I actually practiced with the class.
During scrimmage, we switch off five players every two minutes. So my knee didn't hurt today, yay. But my butt hurt a lot because I fell hard so many times XP I hit the puck three times though :P Two of those times, I managed to hit the puck away from the opposing team. The third time, I fell, and the other team still got the puck haha.
But it was all good fun. I collided into like two different people because we were all going after the puck.
So I can't really keep up. But if I just bide my time, the puck comes to me eventually haha.
I wanna try goalie next week. I'm pretty good at defense (as long as I know where I'm going), so yeah.
Although I didn't score or anything, I felt accomplished :D Raisa (classmate) and I are thinking of going to hockey again next semester. Just use someone else's gear. That's what some people have been doing this semester. Someone's been using my gear on Thursdays; stuff keeps changing (i.e. helmet gets tighter, pants get looser). So yeah, apparently, anyone can get into the class without paying.
Amy said she could help me improve my skating over Winter Break, so :) yay for improving. Plus, I really don't want to forget how to skate or play hockey haha. That would be sad. Even if I enjoy being a spectator most of the time.
Anyway, this is a weekend filled with homework that I may or may not finish. And seriously, I can't believe semester is going by so fast (I keep repeating myself). Two more essays and physics questions for homework for the next four weeks. Then my finals start. Dance and Hockey the week after Thanksgiving. Then two weeks later, AAS and PHIL finals back to back on Monday, Dec 14. PHYS final on Tuesday, Dec 15. Then I'm done!
Aye, and I don't know why I'm calling finals midterms. Before, I kept calling midterms finals. Now, this. I'm working in reverse or something.
Tuesday - furlough in PHIL, but I'll still be on campus because I've got lab and a club meeting/potluck.
Wednesday - Veteran's Day. Furlough. What will I do? I haven't told Mother that I don't have classes that day yet >_>
I also need to find time to meet with an academic advisor, so that I can choose classes for next semester. Also need to find time to go to the Philosophy Center, so that I can get my essay reviewed. Then I need to start thinking about a Swing routine (And that's East Coast Single-Step Swing). Only four weeks to prepare :O
Mm, yeah, fun, kinda feels busy.
Thursday, November 5, 2009
I've accomplished a few things in 2009
They're not big things to you, but they're important enough to me :) haha.
This year has been moving along pretty quickly. I must be enjoying myself a lot more than I thought I would. I've made many more friends this semester (Fall '09) than I did the first two semesters of college combined. I've gone out more often this year (at least once a month). Gradually, I'll be out chillaxing with people weekly.
I know the year's not over yet, but I'm already thinking about the resolutions I had set for myself this year. Did I accomplish many? Let's see:
Accomplished/Nearly Accomplished/Accomplishing
Discarded/Hopeless/Pointless
Failed/Failing
Unsure/Too ambiguous to determine
1. Choose a major.
2. Meditate at least 15 minutes a day.
3. Hug at least 1 person a day.
4. Compliment someone at least once a week.
5. Get a job.
6. Reduce my extra time on the desktop to 15hrs/wk.
7. Renew and use my library card.
8. Go out with friends at least once every month.
9. Limit myself to 4 sodas a month.
10. Start a new blog.
11. Make at least one YouTube video.
12. Try a different hairstyle.
13. Utilize the on-campus fitness facilities.
14. Learn how to play a new instrument.
15. Cosplay for Anime Expo 2009.
16. Remain calm in all situations.
17. Stop lying about stupid things.
18. Reconnect and keep in touch with friends.
19. Learn how to read and write Vietnamese well.
20. Become a morning person.
21. Complain less.
22. Stop bringing myself down with my own words.
23. Smile more.
Of course, I still have two months to accomplished the "failing" resolutions, but, really, am I going to? I've lost my momentum/will.
#22 is debatable haha. But I feel like I've been a lot more positive about myself this year. Still feeling down about some things, but they haven't stopped me from doing whatever it is I do. #21 is debatable as well, but this year has been full of family drama. So I couldn't help but complain when I did. But again, I think I complained less often this year :P
#17, I couldn't decide which things were stupid to lie about. Should have just made it "Don't lie about anything," but I'm too flawed to tell the truth all the time. Maybe next year, I'll do better with that resolution, since I won't have to lie about drinking :P Seriously, I think that's all I really lied to her about this year. Well, other than about hanging out with a bunch of gay friends XP But hanging out with friends is not a stupid thing to lie about, especially if we don't do anything stupid haha.
Anyway, #1, 2, 5, 11, 13, 14, and 19 are still achievable by the end of the year. That's positive thinking. Let's see if I can add any accomplishments in the next two months :D haha.
So for next year, I will try to make my list shorter. So it will be more probable that I complete the list. If I don't get any of the "failing" resolutions this year, I might add them to next year's list :P
What else should I add to my 2010 resolutions?
-Cosplay for AX 2010? I plan to go next year. Hopefully, I can. Cosplay: Code Geass, since that's what Alex D and Jeisun wanna do. That's why I started watching the anime a few days ago. Forty-something more episodes to go. If I don't manage to cosplay, I'll wear the Mokona hat again and carry around a Free Hugs sign/wear my Free Hugs shirt. I'm pretty sure Mokona loves hugs, yeah?
-Fall in love? Hahaha because people keep asking me if I've dated yet -__- They think that, because they haven't seen me in months, I've finally grown up and got serious with someone. Ahaha, on one level, that's kinda insulting. On others, I wish I could say yes.
-Don't drink alcohol? That's not too hard. I don't even need to make that a resolution, do I? Maybe I should, just in case >_>
-Join an activity? I need to get active. I know I do. I'm home too much, sitting around, playing on the computer, or reading. I want to find a hobby. It would be nice. Good way to socialize, yeah?
-Daydream less? I feel like these past couple of years, all I do is daydream, wishing I was better/smarter/stronger than I really am. I need to face reality. My idealism gets in the way XP
I'll think of more possible resolutions later. Now, Amy G is gonna pick me up, and we're gonna go eat In N Out with Stephanie H. Mini-birthday celebration haha. Why fast food? Because I'm cheap and I don't like eating in restaurants haha.
Anyway, lots of homework this weekend. Fun stuff. Will probably be home all weekend. Don't know what else to do. Hmm.
This year has been moving along pretty quickly. I must be enjoying myself a lot more than I thought I would. I've made many more friends this semester (Fall '09) than I did the first two semesters of college combined. I've gone out more often this year (at least once a month). Gradually, I'll be out chillaxing with people weekly.
I know the year's not over yet, but I'm already thinking about the resolutions I had set for myself this year. Did I accomplish many? Let's see:
Accomplished/Nearly Accomplished/Accomplishing
Discarded/Hopeless/Pointless
Failed/Failing
Unsure/Too ambiguous to determine
1. Choose a major.
2. Meditate at least 15 minutes a day.
3. Hug at least 1 person a day.
4. Compliment someone at least once a week.
5. Get a job.
6. Reduce my extra time on the desktop to 15hrs/wk.
7. Renew and use my library card.
8. Go out with friends at least once every month.
9. Limit myself to 4 sodas a month.
10. Start a new blog.
11. Make at least one YouTube video.
12. Try a different hairstyle.
13. Utilize the on-campus fitness facilities.
14. Learn how to play a new instrument.
15. Cosplay for Anime Expo 2009.
16. Remain calm in all situations.
17. Stop lying about stupid things.
18. Reconnect and keep in touch with friends.
19. Learn how to read and write Vietnamese well.
20. Become a morning person.
21. Complain less.
22. Stop bringing myself down with my own words.
23. Smile more.
Of course, I still have two months to accomplished the "failing" resolutions, but, really, am I going to? I've lost my momentum/will.
#22 is debatable haha. But I feel like I've been a lot more positive about myself this year. Still feeling down about some things, but they haven't stopped me from doing whatever it is I do. #21 is debatable as well, but this year has been full of family drama. So I couldn't help but complain when I did. But again, I think I complained less often this year :P
#17, I couldn't decide which things were stupid to lie about. Should have just made it "Don't lie about anything," but I'm too flawed to tell the truth all the time. Maybe next year, I'll do better with that resolution, since I won't have to lie about drinking :P Seriously, I think that's all I really lied to her about this year. Well, other than about hanging out with a bunch of gay friends XP But hanging out with friends is not a stupid thing to lie about, especially if we don't do anything stupid haha.
Anyway, #1, 2, 5, 11, 13, 14, and 19 are still achievable by the end of the year. That's positive thinking. Let's see if I can add any accomplishments in the next two months :D haha.
So for next year, I will try to make my list shorter. So it will be more probable that I complete the list. If I don't get any of the "failing" resolutions this year, I might add them to next year's list :P
What else should I add to my 2010 resolutions?
-Cosplay for AX 2010? I plan to go next year. Hopefully, I can. Cosplay: Code Geass, since that's what Alex D and Jeisun wanna do. That's why I started watching the anime a few days ago. Forty-something more episodes to go. If I don't manage to cosplay, I'll wear the Mokona hat again and carry around a Free Hugs sign/wear my Free Hugs shirt. I'm pretty sure Mokona loves hugs, yeah?
-Fall in love? Hahaha because people keep asking me if I've dated yet -__- They think that, because they haven't seen me in months, I've finally grown up and got serious with someone. Ahaha, on one level, that's kinda insulting. On others, I wish I could say yes.
-Don't drink alcohol? That's not too hard. I don't even need to make that a resolution, do I? Maybe I should, just in case >_>
-Join an activity? I need to get active. I know I do. I'm home too much, sitting around, playing on the computer, or reading. I want to find a hobby. It would be nice. Good way to socialize, yeah?
-Daydream less? I feel like these past couple of years, all I do is daydream, wishing I was better/smarter/stronger than I really am. I need to face reality. My idealism gets in the way XP
I'll think of more possible resolutions later. Now, Amy G is gonna pick me up, and we're gonna go eat In N Out with Stephanie H. Mini-birthday celebration haha. Why fast food? Because I'm cheap and I don't like eating in restaurants haha.
Anyway, lots of homework this weekend. Fun stuff. Will probably be home all weekend. Don't know what else to do. Hmm.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
OMG! What am I going to major in?!
So I've been spending the past two days reading about different majors again. I really wanna know by the end of this semester. Preferably within the next two or so weeks, since my Spring registration starts on Nov 20 at 17h20. Ahhh...
I don't know which classes I'm gonna take next semester. For sure, I'm taking Asian American Studies 33B. Might take French 1A (want to revive my dying French). Could continue taking lower divisions in the hopes of finding a class I really enjoy. But it doesn't seem likely.
Anyway, I can think of what I might want to minor in: Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy, or English (Creative Writing or Professional & Technical Writing). Might even double minor. And no, I don't want to major in any of these. They're interesting, but they don't intrigue me that much. And I know, I said I don't really like English (I could almost say I abhor it). But as a minor, it wouldn't be too bad, I think.
As for majors, I've crossed Industrial Design off the list. I'm considering some kind of Engineering, either General or Mechanical. Maybe Justice Studies or Forensic Science with a concentration in Biology because I have always been interested in the legal/police system. I don't know why, but people keep encouraging me to go into Hospitality. Maybe because I'm nice and people generally like me. haha I don't know. Kinesiology has also been suggested, as well as Library and Information Science.
Just listing/adding:
General Engineering
Mechanical Engineering
Justice Studies
Forensic Science w/ concentration in Biology
Hospitality, Recreation, and Tourism Management
Kinesiology
Library and Information Science
Sociology w/concentration in Criminology
Linguistics
Global Studies
French
These all seem interesting enough. I just don't know if I'll be dedicated enough. Do you have any opinion as to what I should choose?
Well, I'm gonna save this for the weekend when I might have more time to evaluate the possibilities.
Back to homework!
I don't know which classes I'm gonna take next semester. For sure, I'm taking Asian American Studies 33B. Might take French 1A (want to revive my dying French). Could continue taking lower divisions in the hopes of finding a class I really enjoy. But it doesn't seem likely.
Anyway, I can think of what I might want to minor in: Sociology, Psychology, Philosophy, or English (Creative Writing or Professional & Technical Writing). Might even double minor. And no, I don't want to major in any of these. They're interesting, but they don't intrigue me that much. And I know, I said I don't really like English (I could almost say I abhor it). But as a minor, it wouldn't be too bad, I think.
As for majors, I've crossed Industrial Design off the list. I'm considering some kind of Engineering, either General or Mechanical. Maybe Justice Studies or Forensic Science with a concentration in Biology because I have always been interested in the legal/police system. I don't know why, but people keep encouraging me to go into Hospitality. Maybe because I'm nice and people generally like me. haha I don't know. Kinesiology has also been suggested, as well as Library and Information Science.
Just listing/adding:
General Engineering
Mechanical Engineering
Justice Studies
Forensic Science w/ concentration in Biology
Hospitality, Recreation, and Tourism Management
Kinesiology
Library and Information Science
Sociology w/concentration in Criminology
Linguistics
Global Studies
French
These all seem interesting enough. I just don't know if I'll be dedicated enough. Do you have any opinion as to what I should choose?
Well, I'm gonna save this for the weekend when I might have more time to evaluate the possibilities.
Back to homework!
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Maybe the third time's the charm
Last night, I went to a small dorm party hosted by Shiva and her roomies. I think I got there around 7 PM. Got introduced to her friends. Though, I only remember the names of three people: JD, Hannah, Jonathan. Watched Iron Chef or something. Then we watched Edward Scissorhands, American Psycho, and Nightmare on Elm Street III. I passed out when they were playing Soul Caliber III.
I didn't eat much and drank too much haha. I tried not to. But peer pressure! haha... I didn't eat much because I thought that would stop me from drinking a lot XP I was soo wrong.
There was butterbeer (know where that's from?), vodka, champagne, and whiskey. Egh. I can't believe I drank even more this time. You'd think that I would learn by now haha.
So yes, there was puking involved. But I don't remember most of what happened. I still feel nauseous right now but better than this morning. Kept puking when I woke up this morning. Had to think of croissants to temporarily stop the nausea. I don't know why that helped, but it did. Was supposed to go pick up the brother from his friend's place. But I couldn't get up without the nausea. I finally got up at 12.
Shiva gave me a change of clothes and then walked me to my car. Ran into JD (everyone left sometime this morning, after I passed out). Continued to the car. Talked about random stuff.
So anyway, this time, for real, no more alcohol. I mean it. It's not even that fun to be drunk. I think I'm repeating myself, but this time I'm really gonna stay sober. I hate feeling like shit the next day. From now on, I'll just be the designated driver haha. I'll feel better about myself that way.
Ugh, I hope the nausea goes away by tomorrow. Doesn't feel like it will, but yeah. I think the trying to remember what happened last night is making me nauseous. I should stop, shouldn't I? But I can't help it. I want to remember things other than getting drunk.
Hmm, trying to remember other stuff from last night... I was texting Harrison last night. Started when I was sober, ended when I was drunk. I think Shiva sent the last text for me because I was too tired to look at my phone anymore :P Uhh, there was a jack-o-lantern. Domo on one side, Hello Kitty on the other. Tried to light the candle in the pumpkin three different ways. Apparently, someone got shot near the Seventh Street Parking Garage (I didn't know till this morning when I checked my texts). Got to know Shiva a lil better because I kept saying that I didn't really know anyone at the party.
Thank you, Shiva, for taking care of me haha.
We're hella tight now haha. You know why? Because taking care of someone who's puking their guts out is what good friends do. And it's rather intimate, don't you think? Haha yeaah.
Anyway, I have a shitload of Facebook messages to answer. Yay. So I'm gonna deal with that and maybe go back to bed. Or read a book. As long as I can take my mind off my stomach, it's all good. Ugh, I still smell alcohol. So gross.
Peace out.
I didn't eat much and drank too much haha. I tried not to. But peer pressure! haha... I didn't eat much because I thought that would stop me from drinking a lot XP I was soo wrong.
There was butterbeer (know where that's from?), vodka, champagne, and whiskey. Egh. I can't believe I drank even more this time. You'd think that I would learn by now haha.
So yes, there was puking involved. But I don't remember most of what happened. I still feel nauseous right now but better than this morning. Kept puking when I woke up this morning. Had to think of croissants to temporarily stop the nausea. I don't know why that helped, but it did. Was supposed to go pick up the brother from his friend's place. But I couldn't get up without the nausea. I finally got up at 12.
Shiva gave me a change of clothes and then walked me to my car. Ran into JD (everyone left sometime this morning, after I passed out). Continued to the car. Talked about random stuff.
So anyway, this time, for real, no more alcohol. I mean it. It's not even that fun to be drunk. I think I'm repeating myself, but this time I'm really gonna stay sober. I hate feeling like shit the next day. From now on, I'll just be the designated driver haha. I'll feel better about myself that way.
Ugh, I hope the nausea goes away by tomorrow. Doesn't feel like it will, but yeah. I think the trying to remember what happened last night is making me nauseous. I should stop, shouldn't I? But I can't help it. I want to remember things other than getting drunk.
Hmm, trying to remember other stuff from last night... I was texting Harrison last night. Started when I was sober, ended when I was drunk. I think Shiva sent the last text for me because I was too tired to look at my phone anymore :P Uhh, there was a jack-o-lantern. Domo on one side, Hello Kitty on the other. Tried to light the candle in the pumpkin three different ways. Apparently, someone got shot near the Seventh Street Parking Garage (I didn't know till this morning when I checked my texts). Got to know Shiva a lil better because I kept saying that I didn't really know anyone at the party.
Thank you, Shiva, for taking care of me haha.
We're hella tight now haha. You know why? Because taking care of someone who's puking their guts out is what good friends do. And it's rather intimate, don't you think? Haha yeaah.
Anyway, I have a shitload of Facebook messages to answer. Yay. So I'm gonna deal with that and maybe go back to bed. Or read a book. As long as I can take my mind off my stomach, it's all good. Ugh, I still smell alcohol. So gross.
Peace out.
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