I hadn't felt that hopeless and lost in a really long time. I made myself be alone, locked in my room for most of the day, with the wrong intentions. I drank past the point of caution. I didn't care. I knew I was going to get sick, and I still drank more than I knew I should have. And I was tempted to go beyond that. But I couldn't. I stopped. I don't know if it was because I didn't want to die or because I couldn't move anymore.
Afterward, when I could finally move again, I made that feeling of hopelessness and being lost a real one. 9:20 PM. I drove around San Jose with the hopes that it would help me calm down and think. I went up Calaveras, parked at a lookout point, stood in the cold and windy air for an hour, and then drove down Sierra. Then I drove to my mom's house. Then I drove up Bernal to IBM. Next was to turn around and reach the other end of Bernal. And I kept going. I found my way to Quimby somehow and turned right. And I kept going. At the end of Quimby, I turned right and just drove. For 20 miles. It was dark and empty. Lots of twists and turns. Lots of ups and downs. I didn't downshift. I didn't care. I could smell my brakes burning.
After 20 miles, I stopped. I didn't know where I was. Do I keep going, or do I turn around and go home? Do I stay there until the sun comes up? The thought of me dying on this road crossed my mind several times. But I had continued to drive. But at this point, when I finally really stopped my car, I realized I hadn't died. I drove as carefully (and recklessly) as I could. I was still alive. Do I still want to be alive?
I turned my car around and drove. 27 miles later, I'm on Alum Rock, heading toward a place I could fall asleep. I came back to the house I live in. 2:23 AM.
I remember almost everything I did yesterday, but I don't remember half the things I thought. But I know they were ugly thoughts.
I need to reflect on a lot of things and clear my head and conscience. Yesterday was the lowest point I reached in years. I did a lot of stupid and careless things. I didn't reach out to anyone, even though some had offered their love and time. I shut them out. All I saw was the ground, the dirt, and nothing else. I didn't deserve their love and time yesterday.
Strangely, today, I'm looking up. Yesterday's antics... I think I just needed to get a lot of shit out of me. Probably wasn't the best way to go about it, but I already feel a little better. I'm going to feel much better. I will reach out to someone. I will depend on my friends. I will learn how to not shut my loved ones out. I will struggle with this. But I will do my best not to do this to them again.
Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alcohol. Show all posts
Sunday, April 12, 2015
Saturday, August 17, 2013
Future Parenting Goal.
Last night, I drove to Berkeley for Kat's housewarming :D That was fun. First time I ever drove to Berkeley. I thought I got lost in Berkeley and turned my car around to check to see if I missed a turn. Turns out I had turned around about two blocks before the correct street I needed to turn on. Rawr -w- Well, now I know for future reference.
The party was fun. Mainly talked to friends from high school. Had a Peppermint Patty shot (put chocolate syrup in your mouth and add a shot of Peppermint Schnapps), which I actually enjoyed. And I'm not a big fan of peppermint. I also brought my last Smirnoff Ice for myself haha, and I learned what "getting iced" meant. Next time, I'll bring a pack or two. I usually do, but last night I forgot XP My last drink of the night was Captain Morgan with Brisk as a chaser. Then it was time to sober up to drive home.
Witnessed a few drinking games of Soccer and Beer Pong. Team drinking games make me laugh and also scare me because, if your teammates let you down, you'll be at risk of downing tons of alcohol by the end of a game haha.
So Femi, Andrew, Felix, and I were arguing about parenting. I don't know how we got into this topic, but we did. I was not fully sober for this, so I think some of my logic did not make it through haha. Andrew said he would let his college-aged daughter have a guy sleep in her bedroom in his house because, if they're already doing it in the dorms, he doesn't feel like forbidding them changes anything. He doesn't want to be in denial about the fact that his daughter may be sexually active. The other two guys were adamantly against it. They would forbid it, saying that it was a matter of respect. If their daughter respected them, she wouldn't have a guy sleep in her room, even if she is an adult. If they allowed their daughter to have a guy in her room, that's just an open invitation for her to sleep around with any guy anywhere. (I personally think that it depends on the person. Not everyone thinks like that.)
The argument split into two different ones. Femi and Andrew had their own. Felix and I had ours, debating about parenting styles. Felix wants to be "controlling but not abusive"--his words, not mine--making his daughter live how he wants her to live and to follow his ideals because he wants her to have the best possible life, since she wouldn't really know what's best for herself. I understand that, but I don't think that's necessarily the best way to raise your kid.
I wish I had been sober enough to think through my whole argument haha...
I want to raise my kids to know how to think, not what to think, so that they know how to approach any situation they come into. Because I know what they think could be very different from what I think and also I won't always be around to tell them what to think. And I'm not going to say what they think is right or wrong because right and wrong isn't the way I want to look at things. While I wouldn't want my kids to sleep around or have sex with their significant others under my roof, I'm not gonna try to take away all their freedom to decide. This is what I want: My kids decide to do something because that's what they want and they have thought it through. They've made the best decision they could make in the situation. If I could raise my kids to do that, I'll generally be happy with the decisions they make, whether I agree. If they want to sleep around, despite me stating that I prefer they don't, that's their choice, their life, and their consequences. If the consequences turn out badly, I'm not going to hope they feel regret for the rest of their lives. I don't want to them to learn from shame; I want them to acknowledge that maybe their decisions weren't the best and learn from their mistakes.
Shaming is a whole other topic I could talk about. I think it's fine to a certain extent but not to the extent that Felix was talking about. Telling your kid "I'm disappointed in you" and then talking it out is fine. Telling your kid "You're a shame/disgrace to this family" and not giving them a chance to learn from it is not. I kept telling Felix that he needs to have some leeway with his kids because not every kid is gonna mess up their life. Every kid's different with different personalities and temperaments; you have to find the right balance of parenting. There's no one way to raise all kids.
Respect and trust play into how you raise your children. A lot of parents only think, "My child need to respect me and trust my judgment." They don't think, "I need to respect my child and trust their judgment," even after their kids prove they can make sound judgments. Felix even said he didn't want his kids to think he trusted them, so that they would always strive to gain his trust. But that could backfire so badly. If they felt like they could never gain his trust, they might stop trying and stop listening to him altogether. Where would they be then? I think we gotta treat everyone as their own person; we guide and shape our kids as best we can, but it gets to a point where they gotta shape themselves. They become adults at some point, not necessarily at age 18. They have to get to a point where they take responsibility for themselves. If we try to control them after that point, if they only ever do what we want them to do, when will we actually be able to hold them accountable for anything, especially themselves? I don't want my kids to be my pets learning the tricks I taught them. They should be their own people/individuals, hopefully with some of the values I try to instill but at least with values that they have thoughtfully chosen.
Anyway, the argument was pretty intense. I was super into it haha. Almost got emotional about it XP but that was because I was talking about my family and other friends' families as examples. You can be strict as hell or super lenient, but you could still end up with a fucked-up "good kid" or a "bad kid" who eventually turns his life around without your help. Even if there was a right way to raise children, every child reacts differently. Some kids straighten up after being grounded or being shamed; others rebel more or at least try to hide more from you. You need to adapt to your child; that's all I'm saying. You can't say that controlling your kid's life is the only way they'll turn out right. I will say though that I could be wrong and that more control of your kid's life might be more beneficial. You just gotta see how things come out after you do something. I'll raise my kids my way, other people raise their kids their ways, and we all hope we get something right.
Blah. Too much thinking for drinking last night haha. It probably still doesn't make sense. Haha this was not a big part of the night, though it did last at least an hour. It was just very... I dunno... It stuck in my mind for a while. I hope whomever I have kids with will share my perspective on parenting but also challenge it, so we can improve and give our kids the best possibilities. I am afraid that I say all this now but when I actually have kids, I will change my mind and become too controlling. I am a perfectionist on the inside; will I put that on my kids though? I don't know. We'll see.
Ok, done with this topic for now haha.
So I gave Femi a ride back to San Jose. We left Kat's place around 2:30 in the morning, though I had wanted to leave at 1. Just kept talking about random things, like Bubblegum Baby... ahahaha. Didn't actually start driving back to San Jose until about 3:20 because Femi, Alex D, and I were standing outside the apartment complex talking about cars and headphones :P
Overall a good night. Super tired by midnight though. Somehow stayed awake and drove home. The car ride home was full of stories about bad driving haha.
I passed out when I got home. Woke up after 10. Was supposed to do errands, but was too tired. So everything I was supposed to do today has been pushed back XP Awesome! Haha.
The party was fun. Mainly talked to friends from high school. Had a Peppermint Patty shot (put chocolate syrup in your mouth and add a shot of Peppermint Schnapps), which I actually enjoyed. And I'm not a big fan of peppermint. I also brought my last Smirnoff Ice for myself haha, and I learned what "getting iced" meant. Next time, I'll bring a pack or two. I usually do, but last night I forgot XP My last drink of the night was Captain Morgan with Brisk as a chaser. Then it was time to sober up to drive home.
Witnessed a few drinking games of Soccer and Beer Pong. Team drinking games make me laugh and also scare me because, if your teammates let you down, you'll be at risk of downing tons of alcohol by the end of a game haha.
So Femi, Andrew, Felix, and I were arguing about parenting. I don't know how we got into this topic, but we did. I was not fully sober for this, so I think some of my logic did not make it through haha. Andrew said he would let his college-aged daughter have a guy sleep in her bedroom in his house because, if they're already doing it in the dorms, he doesn't feel like forbidding them changes anything. He doesn't want to be in denial about the fact that his daughter may be sexually active. The other two guys were adamantly against it. They would forbid it, saying that it was a matter of respect. If their daughter respected them, she wouldn't have a guy sleep in her room, even if she is an adult. If they allowed their daughter to have a guy in her room, that's just an open invitation for her to sleep around with any guy anywhere. (I personally think that it depends on the person. Not everyone thinks like that.)
The argument split into two different ones. Femi and Andrew had their own. Felix and I had ours, debating about parenting styles. Felix wants to be "controlling but not abusive"--his words, not mine--making his daughter live how he wants her to live and to follow his ideals because he wants her to have the best possible life, since she wouldn't really know what's best for herself. I understand that, but I don't think that's necessarily the best way to raise your kid.
I wish I had been sober enough to think through my whole argument haha...
I want to raise my kids to know how to think, not what to think, so that they know how to approach any situation they come into. Because I know what they think could be very different from what I think and also I won't always be around to tell them what to think. And I'm not going to say what they think is right or wrong because right and wrong isn't the way I want to look at things. While I wouldn't want my kids to sleep around or have sex with their significant others under my roof, I'm not gonna try to take away all their freedom to decide. This is what I want: My kids decide to do something because that's what they want and they have thought it through. They've made the best decision they could make in the situation. If I could raise my kids to do that, I'll generally be happy with the decisions they make, whether I agree. If they want to sleep around, despite me stating that I prefer they don't, that's their choice, their life, and their consequences. If the consequences turn out badly, I'm not going to hope they feel regret for the rest of their lives. I don't want to them to learn from shame; I want them to acknowledge that maybe their decisions weren't the best and learn from their mistakes.
Shaming is a whole other topic I could talk about. I think it's fine to a certain extent but not to the extent that Felix was talking about. Telling your kid "I'm disappointed in you" and then talking it out is fine. Telling your kid "You're a shame/disgrace to this family" and not giving them a chance to learn from it is not. I kept telling Felix that he needs to have some leeway with his kids because not every kid is gonna mess up their life. Every kid's different with different personalities and temperaments; you have to find the right balance of parenting. There's no one way to raise all kids.
Respect and trust play into how you raise your children. A lot of parents only think, "My child need to respect me and trust my judgment." They don't think, "I need to respect my child and trust their judgment," even after their kids prove they can make sound judgments. Felix even said he didn't want his kids to think he trusted them, so that they would always strive to gain his trust. But that could backfire so badly. If they felt like they could never gain his trust, they might stop trying and stop listening to him altogether. Where would they be then? I think we gotta treat everyone as their own person; we guide and shape our kids as best we can, but it gets to a point where they gotta shape themselves. They become adults at some point, not necessarily at age 18. They have to get to a point where they take responsibility for themselves. If we try to control them after that point, if they only ever do what we want them to do, when will we actually be able to hold them accountable for anything, especially themselves? I don't want my kids to be my pets learning the tricks I taught them. They should be their own people/individuals, hopefully with some of the values I try to instill but at least with values that they have thoughtfully chosen.
Anyway, the argument was pretty intense. I was super into it haha. Almost got emotional about it XP but that was because I was talking about my family and other friends' families as examples. You can be strict as hell or super lenient, but you could still end up with a fucked-up "good kid" or a "bad kid" who eventually turns his life around without your help. Even if there was a right way to raise children, every child reacts differently. Some kids straighten up after being grounded or being shamed; others rebel more or at least try to hide more from you. You need to adapt to your child; that's all I'm saying. You can't say that controlling your kid's life is the only way they'll turn out right. I will say though that I could be wrong and that more control of your kid's life might be more beneficial. You just gotta see how things come out after you do something. I'll raise my kids my way, other people raise their kids their ways, and we all hope we get something right.
Blah. Too much thinking for drinking last night haha. It probably still doesn't make sense. Haha this was not a big part of the night, though it did last at least an hour. It was just very... I dunno... It stuck in my mind for a while. I hope whomever I have kids with will share my perspective on parenting but also challenge it, so we can improve and give our kids the best possibilities. I am afraid that I say all this now but when I actually have kids, I will change my mind and become too controlling. I am a perfectionist on the inside; will I put that on my kids though? I don't know. We'll see.
Ok, done with this topic for now haha.
So I gave Femi a ride back to San Jose. We left Kat's place around 2:30 in the morning, though I had wanted to leave at 1. Just kept talking about random things, like Bubblegum Baby... ahahaha. Didn't actually start driving back to San Jose until about 3:20 because Femi, Alex D, and I were standing outside the apartment complex talking about cars and headphones :P
Overall a good night. Super tired by midnight though. Somehow stayed awake and drove home. The car ride home was full of stories about bad driving haha.
I passed out when I got home. Woke up after 10. Was supposed to do errands, but was too tired. So everything I was supposed to do today has been pushed back XP Awesome! Haha.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Don't fucking drink and drive.
Anger. So much anger.
Brother got another DUI this morning. D and I had to go pick him and Karina up from MVPD. Also had to pick up his car from the freeway.
I only had about three hours of sleep before Karina called me at 2:30am. Waited about another hour for the next call. Went to pick them and the car up. Took two hours because D and I didn't want to get a speeding ticket. And they didn't know exactly where the car was. We wasted more than half an hour going in the wrong direction and heading back in the right direction toward the car. Then took them both to their home. Brother had the fucking nerve to be irritable when he's the one who caused all his own problems.
My brain doesn't function well under little sleep. I've learned this many times. I can drive; it's almost perfunctory. But complex thoughts and ideas are lost on me.
So when I came home and Mother asked what happened, I responded with "He got a speeding ticket." For some reason, the conversation in the car had convinced me that Brother had only gotten a speeding ticket. (That was the reason the police initially stopped him) D corrected me and said that Brother got a DUI.
I spent the next hour or so trying to go back to sleep. But I couldn't. I was angry. Mother was angry (still is). She kept ranting for the next hour. She started cursing my name (or it felt like she was) for lying.
I didn't lie. I honestly believed that Brother only got a speeding ticket. It was only after I was in bed that I realized he couldn't have just gotten a speeding ticket. His BAC was way above the legal limit. Supposedly one-point-something. He's still on probation. Just under two years into it. That should have clicked in my head, but it didn't until after I answered Mother's question.
So she ranted about Brother. She also spent a good amount of time lying in her bed, calling me a liar and a witch. A no-good daughter. A disrespectful, selfish daughter. So on and so forth.
I couldn't say anything. So I just laid in bed and felt angry and hurt. Couldn't do anything. Couldn't leave. Couldn't call anyone. I just had to lie there and listen.
Eventually, she stopped. I still couldn't sleep.
I dunno when I fell asleep. But next thing I knew, I woke up at 8:30am. Had breakfast with D and talked to him about everything that happened this morning. Explained to him what really happened when I answered Mother's question. He believed me. Mother came out and started yelling at me for being a liar. "Ungrateful, disrespectful little liar!" She didn't even try to listen or understand.
Why would I lie? She's going to find out about what happened anyway. I had no reason to lie. I just misunderstood the situation. It's what happens when I'm not completely awake and aware.
So she spent a large portion of our morning yelling at D and me. D for "defending [Brother's] actions" and for "not caring enough about this family." Me for lying and being a horrible, disrespectful daughter. (Yesterday, she had annoyed and pissed me off when I was trying to help her, so I snapped at her. I often get annoyed when I try to help her with something because she gets mad at me if I can't do something for her or teach her something well. I also spend a disproportionate amount of time on the computer, watching movies and applying for jobs. I don't respond to her quickly enough when I'm on the computer because I usually wear my earbuds or am responding to emails. Oh, and I'd rather die having fun with my friends than die being yelled at by family.)
She just ranted and ranted. Repeating herself every so often.
Whatever she convinces herself to believe about situations and people while she's angry is what she'll believe when she's clear-headed. So she's already cemented everything she said in her mind. And she's twisted everything that D and I have said. She's just finding reasons to be angry at us because Brother isn't here for her to yell at yet. When he gets here, she'll start it all up again. I know it.
Anyway, our morning "conversation" eventually led to her lambasting me for not finding a job yet and living off of her and making things harder for her. Then D and I had an actual discussion about me finding work and moving out, while she interjected just to criticize what we were saying. I've always had an idea of a plan; she just never wanted to listen and she always thought her ideas were better, so I've tried to follow her ideas. Obviously, I haven't gotten anywhere. But if she thinks all I do on my computer is play around, she's fucking wrong. Does she really think I don't wanna get the fuck out of here, away from her? I'm trying to get out of here but by her rules so that I won't mess with her living situation when I leave.
So D and I talked. I have an idea of a plan. But I need to talk to some friends.
Anyway, now she's calmer. But she's still jumping down our throats any chance she gets.
I love her. I hate her. She becomes the most vicious, scathing, vitriolic person I know when she's anxious and angry. I can't be around her when she's like that. I get so anxious and terrified that I don't know what to do. I get angry too because I feel like it's so unfair that she's taking out all of her anger on us. For small things. For things she wouldn't be angry about if she just listened to us. Since I really don't know how to express my anger, all I can do is cry.
I've said this before. If I'm angry and not crying, I'm not that angry; it's something I can get over quickly. But if I'm angry and crying, you know I'm fucking angry and I'm not coming down from that for a while and not without help.
But now, I can't be around people.
You know what's so sad about this for me? This is probably the first time I've felt so depressed and torn down since April.
What's worse? Mother never once thought about how Brother could have died or killed someone. All she cared about was him going to jail. If she did think about it, she didn't say anything. Every time I hear that Brother has been arrested for a DUI or whatever, I'm always grateful to hear that he didn't hurt anybody else. But I can't say anything about it because Mother will twist what I'm saying against me and I can't defend myself.
So that thing about me preferring to die with friends instead of family? Not what I had said at all. I had mentioned End of the World parties happening on December 21. I was explaining the idea of the parties was to poke fun at the predictions. Also, in case it does come true, at least you'll be having fun with family and friends before you die instead of panicking and not enjoying your last moments being alive. My Vietnamese may not be the best, but how the hell did she think I meant that I would rather die with friends than with family? I didn't say anything remotely close to that. I didn't say anything about me either. I was explaining the concept of the parties. She misinterpreted, and now she really believes I don't love my family enough.
I hope I won't ever be like Brother or Mother. I hope I learn from my stupidity and my anger. If I ever end up like them in any way, please slap me.
Anyway, I'm done. I want to stop thinking about all this. But she just keeps reminding me of all the crap we went through this morning. I need to stop thinking. My head hurts so much.
I can't be around anyone, but I so desperately need to cry and yell and be frustrated and be held by someone. What a perplexing feeling.
Brother got another DUI this morning. D and I had to go pick him and Karina up from MVPD. Also had to pick up his car from the freeway.
I only had about three hours of sleep before Karina called me at 2:30am. Waited about another hour for the next call. Went to pick them and the car up. Took two hours because D and I didn't want to get a speeding ticket. And they didn't know exactly where the car was. We wasted more than half an hour going in the wrong direction and heading back in the right direction toward the car. Then took them both to their home. Brother had the fucking nerve to be irritable when he's the one who caused all his own problems.
My brain doesn't function well under little sleep. I've learned this many times. I can drive; it's almost perfunctory. But complex thoughts and ideas are lost on me.
So when I came home and Mother asked what happened, I responded with "He got a speeding ticket." For some reason, the conversation in the car had convinced me that Brother had only gotten a speeding ticket. (That was the reason the police initially stopped him) D corrected me and said that Brother got a DUI.
I spent the next hour or so trying to go back to sleep. But I couldn't. I was angry. Mother was angry (still is). She kept ranting for the next hour. She started cursing my name (or it felt like she was) for lying.
I didn't lie. I honestly believed that Brother only got a speeding ticket. It was only after I was in bed that I realized he couldn't have just gotten a speeding ticket. His BAC was way above the legal limit. Supposedly one-point-something. He's still on probation. Just under two years into it. That should have clicked in my head, but it didn't until after I answered Mother's question.
So she ranted about Brother. She also spent a good amount of time lying in her bed, calling me a liar and a witch. A no-good daughter. A disrespectful, selfish daughter. So on and so forth.
I couldn't say anything. So I just laid in bed and felt angry and hurt. Couldn't do anything. Couldn't leave. Couldn't call anyone. I just had to lie there and listen.
Eventually, she stopped. I still couldn't sleep.
I dunno when I fell asleep. But next thing I knew, I woke up at 8:30am. Had breakfast with D and talked to him about everything that happened this morning. Explained to him what really happened when I answered Mother's question. He believed me. Mother came out and started yelling at me for being a liar. "Ungrateful, disrespectful little liar!" She didn't even try to listen or understand.
Why would I lie? She's going to find out about what happened anyway. I had no reason to lie. I just misunderstood the situation. It's what happens when I'm not completely awake and aware.
So she spent a large portion of our morning yelling at D and me. D for "defending [Brother's] actions" and for "not caring enough about this family." Me for lying and being a horrible, disrespectful daughter. (Yesterday, she had annoyed and pissed me off when I was trying to help her, so I snapped at her. I often get annoyed when I try to help her with something because she gets mad at me if I can't do something for her or teach her something well. I also spend a disproportionate amount of time on the computer, watching movies and applying for jobs. I don't respond to her quickly enough when I'm on the computer because I usually wear my earbuds or am responding to emails. Oh, and I'd rather die having fun with my friends than die being yelled at by family.)
She just ranted and ranted. Repeating herself every so often.
Whatever she convinces herself to believe about situations and people while she's angry is what she'll believe when she's clear-headed. So she's already cemented everything she said in her mind. And she's twisted everything that D and I have said. She's just finding reasons to be angry at us because Brother isn't here for her to yell at yet. When he gets here, she'll start it all up again. I know it.
Anyway, our morning "conversation" eventually led to her lambasting me for not finding a job yet and living off of her and making things harder for her. Then D and I had an actual discussion about me finding work and moving out, while she interjected just to criticize what we were saying. I've always had an idea of a plan; she just never wanted to listen and she always thought her ideas were better, so I've tried to follow her ideas. Obviously, I haven't gotten anywhere. But if she thinks all I do on my computer is play around, she's fucking wrong. Does she really think I don't wanna get the fuck out of here, away from her? I'm trying to get out of here but by her rules so that I won't mess with her living situation when I leave.
So D and I talked. I have an idea of a plan. But I need to talk to some friends.
Anyway, now she's calmer. But she's still jumping down our throats any chance she gets.
I love her. I hate her. She becomes the most vicious, scathing, vitriolic person I know when she's anxious and angry. I can't be around her when she's like that. I get so anxious and terrified that I don't know what to do. I get angry too because I feel like it's so unfair that she's taking out all of her anger on us. For small things. For things she wouldn't be angry about if she just listened to us. Since I really don't know how to express my anger, all I can do is cry.
I've said this before. If I'm angry and not crying, I'm not that angry; it's something I can get over quickly. But if I'm angry and crying, you know I'm fucking angry and I'm not coming down from that for a while and not without help.
But now, I can't be around people.
You know what's so sad about this for me? This is probably the first time I've felt so depressed and torn down since April.
What's worse? Mother never once thought about how Brother could have died or killed someone. All she cared about was him going to jail. If she did think about it, she didn't say anything. Every time I hear that Brother has been arrested for a DUI or whatever, I'm always grateful to hear that he didn't hurt anybody else. But I can't say anything about it because Mother will twist what I'm saying against me and I can't defend myself.
So that thing about me preferring to die with friends instead of family? Not what I had said at all. I had mentioned End of the World parties happening on December 21. I was explaining the idea of the parties was to poke fun at the predictions. Also, in case it does come true, at least you'll be having fun with family and friends before you die instead of panicking and not enjoying your last moments being alive. My Vietnamese may not be the best, but how the hell did she think I meant that I would rather die with friends than with family? I didn't say anything remotely close to that. I didn't say anything about me either. I was explaining the concept of the parties. She misinterpreted, and now she really believes I don't love my family enough.
I hope I won't ever be like Brother or Mother. I hope I learn from my stupidity and my anger. If I ever end up like them in any way, please slap me.
Anyway, I'm done. I want to stop thinking about all this. But she just keeps reminding me of all the crap we went through this morning. I need to stop thinking. My head hurts so much.
I can't be around anyone, but I so desperately need to cry and yell and be frustrated and be held by someone. What a perplexing feeling.
Thursday, November 22, 2012
I feel like I ruined Thanksgiving for my family.
Last night, Brother and his girlfriend, Karina, took me and Vivi to Singlebarrel. First time there for us two. Pretty awesome. Would like to come back eventually. I had a Pink Lady and an English Cosmo (Shiva's recommendation). Liked them.
Though, the thought of alcohol right now makes me queasy >.<
We went to Brix afterward. Vivi and I split a Tokyo Tea. (queasy again) I had to keep her from drinking too much too fast. But I ended up doing that. At some point, Brother and Karina came to us with two more drinks. Did not finish.
Whether I finished them or not, I would have gotten sick anyway. Before midnight.
A lot of firsts last night. First time Vivi and I got seriously inebriated together. First time I've gotten totally messed up in public. First time I've ever been escorted out of a club. First time I've ever puked out of a car window.
I have vowed to stop drinking for the next four months. Not even beer. Not even for New Year's. I'll be a DD if I go clubbing.
Oh man, people at Brix are gonna remember me... I was wearing my teethy hat. If they see it, they'll remember me. Bleh.
Spent the night at Karina's. Puked throughout the night and morning. Didn't leave to go home until 1pm.
So Mother is really pissed off at me and Brother because she thinks I never tried to call her to tell her I wasn't coming home. I tried. She never answered her phone. She called me, but I never heard her call. So she thinks I was ignoring her call. I wasn't. But she won't believe me.
I do feel bad that she couldn't sleep because of me. I don't feel bad for staying out though. Though, I do feel bad for drinking too much -_- Again. Ugh.
I should have continued trying to call her, but I think I just got too wasted to remember to call.
I wish I could apologize for worrying her so much, but she won't listen.
So what now? The angry, silent treatment. And no more Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family /:
I feel absolutely horrible for ruining that. Can't do anything about it now. Just have to wait out her anger. But she's probably going to hold onto it and bring it up every time she gets mad at me.
I hope I never turn my worry into anger so easily...
Though, the thought of alcohol right now makes me queasy >.<
We went to Brix afterward. Vivi and I split a Tokyo Tea. (queasy again) I had to keep her from drinking too much too fast. But I ended up doing that. At some point, Brother and Karina came to us with two more drinks. Did not finish.
Whether I finished them or not, I would have gotten sick anyway. Before midnight.
A lot of firsts last night. First time Vivi and I got seriously inebriated together. First time I've gotten totally messed up in public. First time I've ever been escorted out of a club. First time I've ever puked out of a car window.
I have vowed to stop drinking for the next four months. Not even beer. Not even for New Year's. I'll be a DD if I go clubbing.
Oh man, people at Brix are gonna remember me... I was wearing my teethy hat. If they see it, they'll remember me. Bleh.
Spent the night at Karina's. Puked throughout the night and morning. Didn't leave to go home until 1pm.
So Mother is really pissed off at me and Brother because she thinks I never tried to call her to tell her I wasn't coming home. I tried. She never answered her phone. She called me, but I never heard her call. So she thinks I was ignoring her call. I wasn't. But she won't believe me.
I do feel bad that she couldn't sleep because of me. I don't feel bad for staying out though. Though, I do feel bad for drinking too much -_- Again. Ugh.
I should have continued trying to call her, but I think I just got too wasted to remember to call.
I wish I could apologize for worrying her so much, but she won't listen.
So what now? The angry, silent treatment. And no more Thanksgiving dinner with the whole family /:
I feel absolutely horrible for ruining that. Can't do anything about it now. Just have to wait out her anger. But she's probably going to hold onto it and bring it up every time she gets mad at me.
I hope I never turn my worry into anger so easily...
Sunday, August 19, 2012
Stupid, angry, drunk brother.
"Why am I related to an idiot?"
My anger speaking.
Frustrated and exhausted.
Brother is an idiot.
Today was supposed to be a chill day with Shiva, watching movies, talking, and making tofu jerky.
Instead, we had to waste two hours driving back and forth because Brother can't communicate, because he can't be upfront the first time around or at all.
Short story: Drunk brother couldn't start his car and ended up twisting his car key somehow. Angry, drunk brother punched his driver side window. Stupid, angry, drunk brother does not share any of this information in the first phone call, making me drive all over San Jose when all of it was unnecessary.
Two hours and about three gallons of gas used up, ending in a major waste of time. My time, Shiva's time, Brother's girlfriend's time, and my friend Killol's time.
All he had to fucking do was tell me he wanted the spare key. I could have driven home, got the key, and dropped it off. But no, he told me he wanted me to give him a ride home. I got to his friend's house in East Side after he didn't even give me the right directions, and he told me he wanted the spare key to his car. I had to drive all the way back home in South Side to get the key. Then I went to downtown to pick up Killol, so he could drive Brother's car home. We got back to Brother's location, and he decides he doesn't fucking want to go home anymore...
I don't know why I've been getting so angry or triggered so much the past few weeks/months. I feel sorry for my car. I was gunning it in the two hours I wasted because I was so angry. Reckless, angry driving. I'm sorry, car.
Really, I wanted to cry because of how angry I was today. So much crying I've been wanting to do, but I haven't. I feel like it might happen at an inappropriate time.
Ahhhhh! So fucking frustrated. Why am I so angry?
I'm tired of being angry...
My anger speaking.
Frustrated and exhausted.
Brother is an idiot.
Today was supposed to be a chill day with Shiva, watching movies, talking, and making tofu jerky.
Instead, we had to waste two hours driving back and forth because Brother can't communicate, because he can't be upfront the first time around or at all.
Short story: Drunk brother couldn't start his car and ended up twisting his car key somehow. Angry, drunk brother punched his driver side window. Stupid, angry, drunk brother does not share any of this information in the first phone call, making me drive all over San Jose when all of it was unnecessary.
Two hours and about three gallons of gas used up, ending in a major waste of time. My time, Shiva's time, Brother's girlfriend's time, and my friend Killol's time.
All he had to fucking do was tell me he wanted the spare key. I could have driven home, got the key, and dropped it off. But no, he told me he wanted me to give him a ride home. I got to his friend's house in East Side after he didn't even give me the right directions, and he told me he wanted the spare key to his car. I had to drive all the way back home in South Side to get the key. Then I went to downtown to pick up Killol, so he could drive Brother's car home. We got back to Brother's location, and he decides he doesn't fucking want to go home anymore...
I don't know why I've been getting so angry or triggered so much the past few weeks/months. I feel sorry for my car. I was gunning it in the two hours I wasted because I was so angry. Reckless, angry driving. I'm sorry, car.
Really, I wanted to cry because of how angry I was today. So much crying I've been wanting to do, but I haven't. I feel like it might happen at an inappropriate time.
Ahhhhh! So fucking frustrated. Why am I so angry?
I'm tired of being angry...
Monday, November 22, 2010
Twelfth Night... Steampunk-style...
So this past Saturday evening, Shiva, Brian, Marian, and I went to the University Theatre to watch the play Twelfth Night, steampunk-style :O
We, excluding Brian, walked in the pouring rain across campus XP I stepped in a deep puddle. Wet socks T-T Came a few minutes before the start of the show, but managed to get seats in the third row :D because a girl generously moved over for the four of us.
The play was entertaining. Though, much more physically vulgar than I'd like. A lot of pelvic thrusting and stuff. One of the things I like about Shakespearean plays is that the crude jokes remain crude jokes, not necessarily to be acted out. The way I see it is if you get the dirtiness of the joke, then you get it. If not, then oh well. I don't want physical gestures to tell me what I already understand -__-
Anyway, the acting was good. I liked Festes :P He was silly. He rapped and sang XD And all the characters danced. There were some scenes in which some characters walked or danced silently o_o I wasn't sure what to make of those. Interpretive dance? -shrug-
The scene where Olivia and Cesario/Viola kiss was not unexpected, yet it was. I thought the actresses would pretend to kiss, but they actually kissed :O
Um, what else did I think? Oh, Orsino looked gross >_> I think it was the combination of his messy hair and bristly beard. Did not look attractive to me. His posse, however, was cool haha. They were a bunch of female thugs (or well, one or two were playing guys).
Hm, since this was the last show, the actors and actresses seemed to have all their lines down. Didn't notice any moments where someone got stuck at a line. I think at one point someone almost rolled off the stage :O Instead, they managed to just kick a skull or something off the stage.
Oh haha, I recognized one or two of the actors from about two years ago, I think :P The guy who played Sebastian had played the role of a son in Death of a Salesman.
Anyway, that was fun. The four of us walked back across campus. Shiva tried to pull me into giant puddles. The Seventh Street Plaza had like three huge puddles. Ponds. Mini lakes XP I tricked Shiva into stepping into one XD Shiva and Brian play-fought, ran around and stuff.
Shiva, Marian, and I went to 7-11 to rent some movies. Went back to Shiva's. Made DiGiorno pizza and breadsticks. Breadsticks, awesome; pizza, meh, could have been better. Watched "Jonah Hex." I thought it was going to be a good movie 'cause I had read good things about it. But it was not that amazing -_- Waste of a dollar. Sorry. Thought it was gonna be about a guy on a bounty-hunting mission. It technically was, I guess, I dunno, but it wasn't exciting.
Went to sleep. The next day, Sunday, Shiva and I went to a queer-dance committee meeting. Ironed out some details. Date set for February 24 at 8PM. Anyone 18 and over can attend. Theme: Red/White/Black or suits of playing cards :)
After that, Shiva and I watched "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." It was entertaining, gross, exciting, and not as good as we had expected. But it was still worth the dollar haha. We plan to watch the second and third movie -nodnod- I think we'll learn more about the main character in the second movie. Also, she looks pretty cool XP Her character is troubled but likable. Though, a few of the things she does is blehhh -_- But Shiva and I agree that we both like the part where she tattoos a guy -nodnodnod- :P
So that was the weekend. Today was ok. Not much happened, except I found out that I don't have 100W on Wednesday, which means I can escort Shiva on the light rail to the airport :P Should probably not bring much stuff to school on Wednesday.
Have quite a bit of work to do this weekend. Two papers and lots of reading, it seems. Have to do the papers this weekend even though they're both due on the last two days of school. Why? Because I signed up to present on my papers next Monday and Tuesday to get them out of the way. Also, signing up early should encourage me to finish my papers early -nodnodnod- I hope so XD It would be sad if I didn't finish my papers this weekend.
Anything else? Anyone coming home to SJ this weekend? Though, I'm not sure how free I will be to hang out. I will try. Not going Black Friday shopping, sorry. Don't ask me to go to that. I don't want to buy anything nor risk my life for materialism XP haha. Hope no one dies on Friday >_>
Oh, just found out an ST student died yesterday. A junior cheerleader named Jordan. Alcohol was involved. Five students (two ST cheerleaders, three OG boys) crammed into a RAV4. The other four were injured (broken bones and such). I dunno what's gonna happen to the other cheerleader or how she's gonna deal with this because she was the one driving. Anyway, RIP Jordan. Even though I never met you, I know you'll be greatly missed.
People, don't drink and drive. Or rather, drink responsibly please.
Well, that's all I've got to say. Later!
We, excluding Brian, walked in the pouring rain across campus XP I stepped in a deep puddle. Wet socks T-T Came a few minutes before the start of the show, but managed to get seats in the third row :D because a girl generously moved over for the four of us.
The play was entertaining. Though, much more physically vulgar than I'd like. A lot of pelvic thrusting and stuff. One of the things I like about Shakespearean plays is that the crude jokes remain crude jokes, not necessarily to be acted out. The way I see it is if you get the dirtiness of the joke, then you get it. If not, then oh well. I don't want physical gestures to tell me what I already understand -__-
Anyway, the acting was good. I liked Festes :P He was silly. He rapped and sang XD And all the characters danced. There were some scenes in which some characters walked or danced silently o_o I wasn't sure what to make of those. Interpretive dance? -shrug-
The scene where Olivia and Cesario/Viola kiss was not unexpected, yet it was. I thought the actresses would pretend to kiss, but they actually kissed :O
Um, what else did I think? Oh, Orsino looked gross >_> I think it was the combination of his messy hair and bristly beard. Did not look attractive to me. His posse, however, was cool haha. They were a bunch of female thugs (or well, one or two were playing guys).
Hm, since this was the last show, the actors and actresses seemed to have all their lines down. Didn't notice any moments where someone got stuck at a line. I think at one point someone almost rolled off the stage :O Instead, they managed to just kick a skull or something off the stage.
Oh haha, I recognized one or two of the actors from about two years ago, I think :P The guy who played Sebastian had played the role of a son in Death of a Salesman.
Anyway, that was fun. The four of us walked back across campus. Shiva tried to pull me into giant puddles. The Seventh Street Plaza had like three huge puddles. Ponds. Mini lakes XP I tricked Shiva into stepping into one XD Shiva and Brian play-fought, ran around and stuff.
Shiva, Marian, and I went to 7-11 to rent some movies. Went back to Shiva's. Made DiGiorno pizza and breadsticks. Breadsticks, awesome; pizza, meh, could have been better. Watched "Jonah Hex." I thought it was going to be a good movie 'cause I had read good things about it. But it was not that amazing -_- Waste of a dollar. Sorry. Thought it was gonna be about a guy on a bounty-hunting mission. It technically was, I guess, I dunno, but it wasn't exciting.
Went to sleep. The next day, Sunday, Shiva and I went to a queer-dance committee meeting. Ironed out some details. Date set for February 24 at 8PM. Anyone 18 and over can attend. Theme: Red/White/Black or suits of playing cards :)
After that, Shiva and I watched "The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo." It was entertaining, gross, exciting, and not as good as we had expected. But it was still worth the dollar haha. We plan to watch the second and third movie -nodnod- I think we'll learn more about the main character in the second movie. Also, she looks pretty cool XP Her character is troubled but likable. Though, a few of the things she does is blehhh -_- But Shiva and I agree that we both like the part where she tattoos a guy -nodnodnod- :P
So that was the weekend. Today was ok. Not much happened, except I found out that I don't have 100W on Wednesday, which means I can escort Shiva on the light rail to the airport :P Should probably not bring much stuff to school on Wednesday.
Have quite a bit of work to do this weekend. Two papers and lots of reading, it seems. Have to do the papers this weekend even though they're both due on the last two days of school. Why? Because I signed up to present on my papers next Monday and Tuesday to get them out of the way. Also, signing up early should encourage me to finish my papers early -nodnodnod- I hope so XD It would be sad if I didn't finish my papers this weekend.
Anything else? Anyone coming home to SJ this weekend? Though, I'm not sure how free I will be to hang out. I will try. Not going Black Friday shopping, sorry. Don't ask me to go to that. I don't want to buy anything nor risk my life for materialism XP haha. Hope no one dies on Friday >_>
Oh, just found out an ST student died yesterday. A junior cheerleader named Jordan. Alcohol was involved. Five students (two ST cheerleaders, three OG boys) crammed into a RAV4. The other four were injured (broken bones and such). I dunno what's gonna happen to the other cheerleader or how she's gonna deal with this because she was the one driving. Anyway, RIP Jordan. Even though I never met you, I know you'll be greatly missed.
People, don't drink and drive. Or rather, drink responsibly please.
Well, that's all I've got to say. Later!
Monday, November 1, 2010
Halloween fun....
What do I remember from the past week?
...
Last Monday and Tuesday are totally gone from memory.
Wednesday the 27th, I had a midterm in PHIL 57. It was more challenging than I expected XP I forgot something about truth tables and had to go back to fix it. I had thought I would be out after thirty minutes at most, but I ended up spending almost all the class time fixing truth tables -_- How sad.
For QTIP, there was supposed to be a movie (Hocus Pocus) and a potluck. I brought biscotti haha. And a can of Monster, which was Brother's. Mother had wanted to throw it out, but I thought it was a waste. So I brought it to give to someone. Gave it to Rahul. Spent the next fifteen minutes trying to open the can after the tab broke off. Used a pencil, a fork, a paintbrush, and other things. It wouldn't open. How strange. Eventually, Rahul and Shiva pounded a nail into the top of the can twice. White stuff came out o_o Then another guy finally realized that the can didn't have liquid in it; it was a Monster can that was converted into a cannister -_- I thought it was odd that I didn't hear any sloshing. I hadn't really heard of this, so the thought never crossed my mind. But anyway, we destroyed the can, trying to open it haha. Everyone wanted to open it up to see if anything was in there. At first, I refused because it was Brother's. But then I thought it was his fault for leaving the can in the fridge without telling me what it really was. We got it open, and it was empty, except for remnants of weed apparently. Threw away the can and stuff. Went back to the movie. Sadly, I only watched about the first ten minutes of it before I had to leave. Used to love that movie; I'll watch it again sometime on my own -nods-
On Thursday, hmm, my Philosophy of Religion class was talking about reincarnation. When I spoke, I mentioned that one of the writers, who was disputing the Christian notion of resurrection, made me think that her argument could support the higher probability of the existence of zombies than the possibility of Christian resurrection. hahaha zombies XD I can't believe I said that; I can't believe my prof liked my idea and noted it down in her book XD
In Q&A, we had a mummy contest/pageant. That was strange. Though we recycled all the toilet paper, I still think it was a waste. But it was fun, I guess XP Next meeting (this Thursday), Diwali meeting. Festival of Lights? Yeah, it will be interesting...
Mm, Friday morning, I went to the doctor for a check-up. It seems I may have thalassemia o_o Have to get my blood tested sometime this week, probably Friday. Fun.
Anyway, afterward, I went to campus to help Shiva make pumpkin pies for her party. That was fun. Making pumpkin pies is somewhat blargh because you want your food to be good and you don't really know if it will be good.
We also went to BevMo with Marian to buy Buttershot Scnhapps to make butterbeer. Shiva also bought a Japanese beer, Blood, and a mini Bailey's. Back to Shiva's place to finish the pies and prepare for the party.
People who showed up: Marian; Ly and Keith (They left way early); Jay and Veronica (They left early too but later than Ly and Keith); Crystal and Karishma (They left after Jay and Veronica, I think); Craig M; Alisa; Harrison; Jenn; JD (showed up for a lil while, but left to care for a friend at another party); Hannah, Craig R (a guy I hadn't met before), and Luis (They came late, coming off from a shift at Halloween Haunt). I think that was all of us.
I didn't drink much. Some butterbeer (It wasn't as good as last year's probably because the butterscotch schnapps was a different brand); some Bailey's mixed with vanilla extract or something; some Pina Colada that Jenn made. Also tried a bit of Craig M's Blackthorn (fermented apple cider?). That's about it. I didn't drink enough to even get tipsy. Why? Because I realize I do not enjoy alcohol all that much. So I meant when I said I won't drink much if at all at parties from now on. It's just better that way. Besides, even a lil bit of alcohol makes me sleepy XD
Hmm, Craig M had brought his iTouch. Listened to music, some dance and some rock/metal. Interesting mix on Pandora haha. Especially while playing Apples to Apples. So fun XD
Haha at one point, Craig M knocked over all my Skittles XP So sad. Helped him collect Skittles off the carpet. Drinks weren't spilled until the last hour or so of the party XD Well, actually, I guess Sabrina, Shiva's roommate, knocked over her cup of milk or tea or something on the couch before the party started :P But anyway, yeah, sticky.
It was raining outside at 5 in the morning when the last couple of people left. Harrison and Alisa escorted Jenn home because she had to walk over a block. Not safe in downtown, especially at that time -nodnod- Apparently, Harrison ended up sleeping in his SUV for the night XP because he promised Alisa he wouldn't drive home.
Shiva and I wiped down all the surfaces before we went to bed. We were sooo tired x_x
Saturday, some more cleaning. Went to Target with Marian and Sabrina. Back to Shiva's. Didn't really do much. Didn't have the motivation -_- Somehow, we went to bed at 2 in the morning. Sunday morning, I didn't want to get up, even though Shiva was telling me to get up, so that we could study. Got up too late. Mother called around noon, saying she was gonna stop by campus to pick me up /: No studying done this past weekend. My fault, sorry.
Today was all right. Went to PHIL 57 to see if the prof finished grading the midterms, but he hadn't. So I stayed in class, looking up classes I might want for next semester. I get to enroll on November 17, nine days after registration opens :O So early. Must be my prospective senior status. Sweet.
When I went to Shiva's place, we kinda compared classes we wanted. We're probably gonna take our research methods classes together. Maybe Criminology, but the choice of instructors and times suck -_- We'll see what will happen with that. I'm probably gonna take Global Society next semester, since Prof Cox will be teaching all three sections that are offered; well, hopefully, the Sociology department doesn't switch profs around -_-
Oh, and it seems that the majority of Sociology courses offered next semester will be Tuesday/Thursday classes D: So far the three classes I know I want to take for sure are Tuesday/Thursday; two of which are back-to-back. If I decide to take Criminology on TTh, then I'll have four classes back-to-back two days a week, and two free days. Could I survive that kind of schedule? I have no idea. Probably not. That's like six hours of classes with three fifteen-minute breaks in between.
I'm also planning to take an online Philosophy course about computers XD That would be awesome. I wanted to take that this semester, but the class filled up really quickly before I got a chance to sign up. It seems that the prof for the online course is much much better (more helpful) than the other prof who teaches in a classroom.
Also may take an elective instead of Criminology, which I need for my major. Elective for SJSU Studies (The Phil course about computers fulfills one of the electives here). Either Human Sexuality or Sound & Communication.
Or I could take another Sociology course for my major. Quite a list I have: Social Change, LGBT Studies, Socialization & Identity, Sexualities...
So, yeah, four or five classes next semester. If I feel crazy enough, I might go for six. But for now, I'm aiming for five. Can't wait to choose and enroll. Hope I get my first choices.
And whoa, I can't believe there's only about five weeks of classes left and then finals week. So faaast :O Still need to do two research papers and stuff. I mean, my philosophy of religion paper is due the week of Thanksgiving, and two weeks after, it's the last week of classes. Ahhh, I hope next semester doesn't go this fast because I wanna enjoy and savor (haha) Shiva's last semester at SJSU -nodnodnodnod- Happy and sad.....
Mm, oh so there's gonna be two long weekends this month, yay! Veterans' Day weekend and Thanksgiving weekend. Woot woot! haha just thought I'd let you know. Though, I guess I'll have a lot of work to do during Veterans' Day weekend /: But Thanksgiving weekend should be free of most work; I hope so.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'm tired, falling asleep. Should go to bed soon. Hope people vote tomorrow XP Ok, good night!
...
Last Monday and Tuesday are totally gone from memory.
Wednesday the 27th, I had a midterm in PHIL 57. It was more challenging than I expected XP I forgot something about truth tables and had to go back to fix it. I had thought I would be out after thirty minutes at most, but I ended up spending almost all the class time fixing truth tables -_- How sad.
For QTIP, there was supposed to be a movie (Hocus Pocus) and a potluck. I brought biscotti haha. And a can of Monster, which was Brother's. Mother had wanted to throw it out, but I thought it was a waste. So I brought it to give to someone. Gave it to Rahul. Spent the next fifteen minutes trying to open the can after the tab broke off. Used a pencil, a fork, a paintbrush, and other things. It wouldn't open. How strange. Eventually, Rahul and Shiva pounded a nail into the top of the can twice. White stuff came out o_o Then another guy finally realized that the can didn't have liquid in it; it was a Monster can that was converted into a cannister -_- I thought it was odd that I didn't hear any sloshing. I hadn't really heard of this, so the thought never crossed my mind. But anyway, we destroyed the can, trying to open it haha. Everyone wanted to open it up to see if anything was in there. At first, I refused because it was Brother's. But then I thought it was his fault for leaving the can in the fridge without telling me what it really was. We got it open, and it was empty, except for remnants of weed apparently. Threw away the can and stuff. Went back to the movie. Sadly, I only watched about the first ten minutes of it before I had to leave. Used to love that movie; I'll watch it again sometime on my own -nods-
On Thursday, hmm, my Philosophy of Religion class was talking about reincarnation. When I spoke, I mentioned that one of the writers, who was disputing the Christian notion of resurrection, made me think that her argument could support the higher probability of the existence of zombies than the possibility of Christian resurrection. hahaha zombies XD I can't believe I said that; I can't believe my prof liked my idea and noted it down in her book XD
In Q&A, we had a mummy contest/pageant. That was strange. Though we recycled all the toilet paper, I still think it was a waste. But it was fun, I guess XP Next meeting (this Thursday), Diwali meeting. Festival of Lights? Yeah, it will be interesting...
Mm, Friday morning, I went to the doctor for a check-up. It seems I may have thalassemia o_o Have to get my blood tested sometime this week, probably Friday. Fun.
Anyway, afterward, I went to campus to help Shiva make pumpkin pies for her party. That was fun. Making pumpkin pies is somewhat blargh because you want your food to be good and you don't really know if it will be good.
We also went to BevMo with Marian to buy Buttershot Scnhapps to make butterbeer. Shiva also bought a Japanese beer, Blood, and a mini Bailey's. Back to Shiva's place to finish the pies and prepare for the party.
People who showed up: Marian; Ly and Keith (They left way early); Jay and Veronica (They left early too but later than Ly and Keith); Crystal and Karishma (They left after Jay and Veronica, I think); Craig M; Alisa; Harrison; Jenn; JD (showed up for a lil while, but left to care for a friend at another party); Hannah, Craig R (a guy I hadn't met before), and Luis (They came late, coming off from a shift at Halloween Haunt). I think that was all of us.
I didn't drink much. Some butterbeer (It wasn't as good as last year's probably because the butterscotch schnapps was a different brand); some Bailey's mixed with vanilla extract or something; some Pina Colada that Jenn made. Also tried a bit of Craig M's Blackthorn (fermented apple cider?). That's about it. I didn't drink enough to even get tipsy. Why? Because I realize I do not enjoy alcohol all that much. So I meant when I said I won't drink much if at all at parties from now on. It's just better that way. Besides, even a lil bit of alcohol makes me sleepy XD
Hmm, Craig M had brought his iTouch. Listened to music, some dance and some rock/metal. Interesting mix on Pandora haha. Especially while playing Apples to Apples. So fun XD
Haha at one point, Craig M knocked over all my Skittles XP So sad. Helped him collect Skittles off the carpet. Drinks weren't spilled until the last hour or so of the party XD Well, actually, I guess Sabrina, Shiva's roommate, knocked over her cup of milk or tea or something on the couch before the party started :P But anyway, yeah, sticky.
It was raining outside at 5 in the morning when the last couple of people left. Harrison and Alisa escorted Jenn home because she had to walk over a block. Not safe in downtown, especially at that time -nodnod- Apparently, Harrison ended up sleeping in his SUV for the night XP because he promised Alisa he wouldn't drive home.
Shiva and I wiped down all the surfaces before we went to bed. We were sooo tired x_x
Saturday, some more cleaning. Went to Target with Marian and Sabrina. Back to Shiva's. Didn't really do much. Didn't have the motivation -_- Somehow, we went to bed at 2 in the morning. Sunday morning, I didn't want to get up, even though Shiva was telling me to get up, so that we could study. Got up too late. Mother called around noon, saying she was gonna stop by campus to pick me up /: No studying done this past weekend. My fault, sorry.
Today was all right. Went to PHIL 57 to see if the prof finished grading the midterms, but he hadn't. So I stayed in class, looking up classes I might want for next semester. I get to enroll on November 17, nine days after registration opens :O So early. Must be my prospective senior status. Sweet.
When I went to Shiva's place, we kinda compared classes we wanted. We're probably gonna take our research methods classes together. Maybe Criminology, but the choice of instructors and times suck -_- We'll see what will happen with that. I'm probably gonna take Global Society next semester, since Prof Cox will be teaching all three sections that are offered; well, hopefully, the Sociology department doesn't switch profs around -_-
Oh, and it seems that the majority of Sociology courses offered next semester will be Tuesday/Thursday classes D: So far the three classes I know I want to take for sure are Tuesday/Thursday; two of which are back-to-back. If I decide to take Criminology on TTh, then I'll have four classes back-to-back two days a week, and two free days. Could I survive that kind of schedule? I have no idea. Probably not. That's like six hours of classes with three fifteen-minute breaks in between.
I'm also planning to take an online Philosophy course about computers XD That would be awesome. I wanted to take that this semester, but the class filled up really quickly before I got a chance to sign up. It seems that the prof for the online course is much much better (more helpful) than the other prof who teaches in a classroom.
Also may take an elective instead of Criminology, which I need for my major. Elective for SJSU Studies (The Phil course about computers fulfills one of the electives here). Either Human Sexuality or Sound & Communication.
Or I could take another Sociology course for my major. Quite a list I have: Social Change, LGBT Studies, Socialization & Identity, Sexualities...
So, yeah, four or five classes next semester. If I feel crazy enough, I might go for six. But for now, I'm aiming for five. Can't wait to choose and enroll. Hope I get my first choices.
And whoa, I can't believe there's only about five weeks of classes left and then finals week. So faaast :O Still need to do two research papers and stuff. I mean, my philosophy of religion paper is due the week of Thanksgiving, and two weeks after, it's the last week of classes. Ahhh, I hope next semester doesn't go this fast because I wanna enjoy and savor (haha) Shiva's last semester at SJSU -nodnodnodnod- Happy and sad.....
Mm, oh so there's gonna be two long weekends this month, yay! Veterans' Day weekend and Thanksgiving weekend. Woot woot! haha just thought I'd let you know. Though, I guess I'll have a lot of work to do during Veterans' Day weekend /: But Thanksgiving weekend should be free of most work; I hope so.
Anyway, that's all for now. I'm tired, falling asleep. Should go to bed soon. Hope people vote tomorrow XP Ok, good night!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Battlefest 2010
Not as interesting as last year's, but I still enjoyed the performances.
Yesterday, I took the light rail downtown to campus. Did some homework on the rail. Returned library books. Light rail back a stop to the Civic Auditorium. Bought a $25-ticket for Battlefest. Met up with Marielle and her (or Ariane's dance) friends. Andrea, Vanna, and Ruben. Interesting people. Andrea put her hand on my head and leaned (I felt short). Then she asked if she could call me Tweety. "Yes, you can." "How about Tweeter?" O_o Mm, no haha.
The doors opened late ): But we all got in and basically saved two rows of seats for their friends. I ended up sitting at the end of the first row next to someone I didn't know >_> Marielle motioned for me to go sit up near her, but it turned out the seat was being saved by some stranger.
As I walked past Marielle and Andrea to get to the open seat, Andrea grabbed my ass. Twice O_O I stopped, turned, and stared at her with a look that said, "Really? Did you really just do that?" Then after I found out the open seat was already taken, I had to walk past the girls again. And again, Andrew grabbed my ass. That time, I stopped momentarily and then kept walking.
Hm, there was a band performance before the start of the competition. April Chase. They sounded a lot like Paramore >_> Pretty good, but I couldn't get Paramore out of my head.
Anyway, the competition was fun. I was really impressed. Though, I don't really remember specific performances anymore. How sad. Oh, I do remember that I especially enjoyed Prophecy Inc.'s performance. They were really on point imho. That massive, 360-degree group wave thing was friggin' awesome. So fluid. I was glad they at least placed third. I wasn't surprised that Funk Beyond Control didn't get first place this year. Love the lil kids dancing, but their performance this year didn't match up with their performance from last year. Pac Modern won first place, but honestly I don't remember their performance at all >_>
Not saying their performance wasn't good. I liked all the performances this year, except maybe FLOorganics' showcase performance. It was interesting, but it didn't really appeal to me. Anyway, I don't think I remember much of the Battlefest performances because I had a really funky headache last night. I'm sure the loud music didn't help either. I remember there were two times in the night where the bass made me feel like I was gonna pass out. But luckily, I didn't.
Ooh, Supreme Soul's guest performance was pretty sick. If only I was better at giving descriptions haha... Oh well, guess you're gonna have to settle for YouTube videos :P Oh, after nine years, Battlefest is finally gonna go nationwide :D How awesome.
Oh, and I think the 3-on-3 battles were rigged too XP The final battle was between the Academy of Yee and the Academy of Villains. Supreme Soul members. Though, the dancer with the red hair was really tight with his moves. Gotta give him that much XP
Mm, I left the Auditorium almost immediately after Pac Modern was announced the winner. Said goodbye to Marielle via text haha. Also texted Ariane, but she didn't reply ): You know, I didn't realize there were other ST people in Wrawsome aside from Kathy D. There's apparently also Jaime, Alyssa G, and Gerald G. Or at least it looked like them. Same people from the hip hop portion of our Fantastiks performance senior year, hm.
So light rail once again to campus. Walked to Shiva's. Got there around 21h30. Jonathan, Hannah, Phil, and two other people were already there. Those two people left. And Ulysses(?) and Katrina (from my Linguistics class) arrived.
I didn't drink much last night. I controlled myself. Yay. I don't remember what I drank though. But I didn't eat much, so it affected me quickly.
We tried to watch "Thank You for Smoking" and "1408," but none of us were really paying attention. So a marathon of "1000 Ways to Die" on SpikeTV was the answer. That lasted till 1 in the morning.
And damn were we loud last night haha. Especially Hannah, Ulysses, and Katrina haha. I felt really bad for Shiva's roommates XP
Lot of random conversation. Much of it revolved around... Actually, I don't remember. I can only recall bits and pieces of conversations. Some guy named Craig was drunk texting Hannah. There was drunken dancing. Talks of how tasty cough medicine is >_< ew.
I spent the last half of the night talking to Phil (tall guy from Lafayette). Got to know each other better. He tried to help me plan my future hahaha. Yeaah. I wasn't much help to his efforts.
And it must have been the effects of alcohol, but I hugged Jonathan and Phil when they left ahaha.
In my slightly drunken state, I contemplated a lot of things. One of them was the realization that I hug some friends (whom I don't often see) more frequently than I hug other friends (whom I do often see). How strange. Like, I hugged those two guys. I hug a few of my friends from high school (who don't go to SJSU). I hug Matt C and Carlo, whom I see once or twice a week. I hug Rose once in a while when I see her. I always hug D when he comes over to the house to visit. On the other hand, I rarely if ever hug Mother or Brother. I don't think I've ever hugged Amy, Christine, Lisa, or Albert, even when I saw them every day last semester and the semester before. I don't hug Brian or Shiva, and I've been chilling with those two about four days a week since the start of semester. And have you realized that I hug you more often now than I did back when we used to hang out in high school? Like, now, every time I see Autumn, Maggie, Ariane, or anyone from high school really, I usually hug them. I never used to do that haha.
My relationships and comfortable-ness with people are not how I should want them to be. Hm. Usually, people seem to hug their closer friends more than they hug their less close friends. Or maybe I'm just trying to find a flaw within myself. Bah, I see too many.
Aaanyway, back to the party/get-together. Shiva and Phil kept tickling me T-T She tickled me out of my seat. So mean. Unfair. Two against one.
Ahh, I was feeling soo hot during the party too T-T Too much body heeeaat. Shiva was the opposite of me. She was cold. I wished I was cold. I can't stand heat. Ahaha, I just remembered Shiva stole heat from my hand O_o She and Phil kept playing with my hands at one point too O_o I just sat there, thinking, "This is kinda weird. Why are they playing with my hands? And why aren't my hands moving away?" I was really tiiired. It was like 3 in the morning. Egh, I usually go to bed by midnight. Ahh, my brain.
Mm, so when Phil was leaving, he said that I was cute >_> <_< >_> I just stared at him O_O and said I didn't know how to respond to that. He said he didn't expect me to say anything. Silence. "Uhh, thank you?" "You're welcome." Mm yeah, like I've said before, I don't get compliments often. So when I do receive them, I feel weird/awkward, and I don't know what to say. And you know, I just never know if people are saying things because they mean it or because they're just trying to flatter me for some patronizing reason -_- haha.
Oh wow, I just remembered I told Phil that I've lied to people a lot. For a nice person, I lie a lot O.O Yeaah. Hm. It's just easier to lie. By omission. Yeah. Ok.
Mm, so I slept over on the living room couch. 4 AM was shut-eye time. But I kept waking up, and I looked at my watch each time. 5h30, 6h00, 6h30, 7h30, 8h30. I stayed awake at 8h30. I did some push-ups and sit-ups haha. Some homework. Then I listened to music and looked out the window for the next two hour.
I remember a dream: I was sleeping on the couch. Pretty much like I was doing in real life. And Brian comes walking through the door and yanks me off the couch so that he can sit on the couch O_o I just sit on the floor, staring up at him. Then I wake up.
Not much of an interesting dream, but eh -shrug-
Morning was ok. Shiva came out of her room around 10h30, and we talked for a while. I was listening to Owl City. She said she hadn't listened to Owl City in a while :O I've been listening to him less often only because I don't drive often anymore. She has her reason for not listening to the music. I have my reason for listening to it (I'm a masochist >_> haha). I've already said it before: Owl City makes me nostalgic in many ways, good and sad. Though, I suppose I never mentioned the sad. But, eh, you don't need to know. Or you already know. You just don't need to know what specifically. Hm, today, I realize there's another reason I listen to Owl City and other music that makes me feel the same way: They make me think about the things I want but can't have >_> yeaah...
Mm, I was gonna take the light rail home, but Mother had plans. So D came to pick me up from campus. Yeah. I was glad. I didn't have to listen to Mother yell at me for going home at noon. Well, I still had to listen, but not for long because she had to go somewhere, whew.
Hmm, I feel like there was so much more I wanted to say about last night. Maybe it was just all the conversations that I wanted to remember but now cannot recall. Yeah, probably. Pathetic -_-
I remember there was a conversation about cuddling. I think I was the one who brought it up though. Not sure.
Blah, I feel like a mopey drunk. I'm a mopey person, mm.
You know, I feel like I can type so much. Yet, there's nothing there, hm.
And my brain hurts. But it doesn't feel like a hangover. It shouldn't be a hangover. I didn't drink enough. Could be a residual headache from last night.
Home alone now. Why am I supposed to be home right now?
I'm kinda losing focus. I'm kinda losing myself. Must be the lack of sleep.
I have a strong urge to really complain about my life, about how frustrated I am that things don't work out the way I want them to (ooh, another conversation topic I had with Phil). But eh.
Yesterday, I took the light rail downtown to campus. Did some homework on the rail. Returned library books. Light rail back a stop to the Civic Auditorium. Bought a $25-ticket for Battlefest. Met up with Marielle and her (or Ariane's dance) friends. Andrea, Vanna, and Ruben. Interesting people. Andrea put her hand on my head and leaned (I felt short). Then she asked if she could call me Tweety. "Yes, you can." "How about Tweeter?" O_o Mm, no haha.
The doors opened late ): But we all got in and basically saved two rows of seats for their friends. I ended up sitting at the end of the first row next to someone I didn't know >_> Marielle motioned for me to go sit up near her, but it turned out the seat was being saved by some stranger.
As I walked past Marielle and Andrea to get to the open seat, Andrea grabbed my ass. Twice O_O I stopped, turned, and stared at her with a look that said, "Really? Did you really just do that?" Then after I found out the open seat was already taken, I had to walk past the girls again. And again, Andrew grabbed my ass. That time, I stopped momentarily and then kept walking.
Hm, there was a band performance before the start of the competition. April Chase. They sounded a lot like Paramore >_> Pretty good, but I couldn't get Paramore out of my head.
Anyway, the competition was fun. I was really impressed. Though, I don't really remember specific performances anymore. How sad. Oh, I do remember that I especially enjoyed Prophecy Inc.'s performance. They were really on point imho. That massive, 360-degree group wave thing was friggin' awesome. So fluid. I was glad they at least placed third. I wasn't surprised that Funk Beyond Control didn't get first place this year. Love the lil kids dancing, but their performance this year didn't match up with their performance from last year. Pac Modern won first place, but honestly I don't remember their performance at all >_>
Not saying their performance wasn't good. I liked all the performances this year, except maybe FLOorganics' showcase performance. It was interesting, but it didn't really appeal to me. Anyway, I don't think I remember much of the Battlefest performances because I had a really funky headache last night. I'm sure the loud music didn't help either. I remember there were two times in the night where the bass made me feel like I was gonna pass out. But luckily, I didn't.
Ooh, Supreme Soul's guest performance was pretty sick. If only I was better at giving descriptions haha... Oh well, guess you're gonna have to settle for YouTube videos :P Oh, after nine years, Battlefest is finally gonna go nationwide :D How awesome.
Oh, and I think the 3-on-3 battles were rigged too XP The final battle was between the Academy of Yee and the Academy of Villains. Supreme Soul members. Though, the dancer with the red hair was really tight with his moves. Gotta give him that much XP
Mm, I left the Auditorium almost immediately after Pac Modern was announced the winner. Said goodbye to Marielle via text haha. Also texted Ariane, but she didn't reply ): You know, I didn't realize there were other ST people in Wrawsome aside from Kathy D. There's apparently also Jaime, Alyssa G, and Gerald G. Or at least it looked like them. Same people from the hip hop portion of our Fantastiks performance senior year, hm.
So light rail once again to campus. Walked to Shiva's. Got there around 21h30. Jonathan, Hannah, Phil, and two other people were already there. Those two people left. And Ulysses(?) and Katrina (from my Linguistics class) arrived.
I didn't drink much last night. I controlled myself. Yay. I don't remember what I drank though. But I didn't eat much, so it affected me quickly.
We tried to watch "Thank You for Smoking" and "1408," but none of us were really paying attention. So a marathon of "1000 Ways to Die" on SpikeTV was the answer. That lasted till 1 in the morning.
And damn were we loud last night haha. Especially Hannah, Ulysses, and Katrina haha. I felt really bad for Shiva's roommates XP
Lot of random conversation. Much of it revolved around... Actually, I don't remember. I can only recall bits and pieces of conversations. Some guy named Craig was drunk texting Hannah. There was drunken dancing. Talks of how tasty cough medicine is >_< ew.
I spent the last half of the night talking to Phil (tall guy from Lafayette). Got to know each other better. He tried to help me plan my future hahaha. Yeaah. I wasn't much help to his efforts.
And it must have been the effects of alcohol, but I hugged Jonathan and Phil when they left ahaha.
In my slightly drunken state, I contemplated a lot of things. One of them was the realization that I hug some friends (whom I don't often see) more frequently than I hug other friends (whom I do often see). How strange. Like, I hugged those two guys. I hug a few of my friends from high school (who don't go to SJSU). I hug Matt C and Carlo, whom I see once or twice a week. I hug Rose once in a while when I see her. I always hug D when he comes over to the house to visit. On the other hand, I rarely if ever hug Mother or Brother. I don't think I've ever hugged Amy, Christine, Lisa, or Albert, even when I saw them every day last semester and the semester before. I don't hug Brian or Shiva, and I've been chilling with those two about four days a week since the start of semester. And have you realized that I hug you more often now than I did back when we used to hang out in high school? Like, now, every time I see Autumn, Maggie, Ariane, or anyone from high school really, I usually hug them. I never used to do that haha.
My relationships and comfortable-ness with people are not how I should want them to be. Hm. Usually, people seem to hug their closer friends more than they hug their less close friends. Or maybe I'm just trying to find a flaw within myself. Bah, I see too many.
Aaanyway, back to the party/get-together. Shiva and Phil kept tickling me T-T She tickled me out of my seat. So mean. Unfair. Two against one.
Ahh, I was feeling soo hot during the party too T-T Too much body heeeaat. Shiva was the opposite of me. She was cold. I wished I was cold. I can't stand heat. Ahaha, I just remembered Shiva stole heat from my hand O_o She and Phil kept playing with my hands at one point too O_o I just sat there, thinking, "This is kinda weird. Why are they playing with my hands? And why aren't my hands moving away?" I was really tiiired. It was like 3 in the morning. Egh, I usually go to bed by midnight. Ahh, my brain.
Mm, so when Phil was leaving, he said that I was cute >_> <_< >_> I just stared at him O_O and said I didn't know how to respond to that. He said he didn't expect me to say anything. Silence. "Uhh, thank you?" "You're welcome." Mm yeah, like I've said before, I don't get compliments often. So when I do receive them, I feel weird/awkward, and I don't know what to say. And you know, I just never know if people are saying things because they mean it or because they're just trying to flatter me for some patronizing reason -_- haha.
Oh wow, I just remembered I told Phil that I've lied to people a lot. For a nice person, I lie a lot O.O Yeaah. Hm. It's just easier to lie. By omission. Yeah. Ok.
Mm, so I slept over on the living room couch. 4 AM was shut-eye time. But I kept waking up, and I looked at my watch each time. 5h30, 6h00, 6h30, 7h30, 8h30. I stayed awake at 8h30. I did some push-ups and sit-ups haha. Some homework. Then I listened to music and looked out the window for the next two hour.
I remember a dream: I was sleeping on the couch. Pretty much like I was doing in real life. And Brian comes walking through the door and yanks me off the couch so that he can sit on the couch O_o I just sit on the floor, staring up at him. Then I wake up.
Not much of an interesting dream, but eh -shrug-
Morning was ok. Shiva came out of her room around 10h30, and we talked for a while. I was listening to Owl City. She said she hadn't listened to Owl City in a while :O I've been listening to him less often only because I don't drive often anymore. She has her reason for not listening to the music. I have my reason for listening to it (I'm a masochist >_> haha). I've already said it before: Owl City makes me nostalgic in many ways, good and sad. Though, I suppose I never mentioned the sad. But, eh, you don't need to know. Or you already know. You just don't need to know what specifically. Hm, today, I realize there's another reason I listen to Owl City and other music that makes me feel the same way: They make me think about the things I want but can't have >_> yeaah...
Mm, I was gonna take the light rail home, but Mother had plans. So D came to pick me up from campus. Yeah. I was glad. I didn't have to listen to Mother yell at me for going home at noon. Well, I still had to listen, but not for long because she had to go somewhere, whew.
Hmm, I feel like there was so much more I wanted to say about last night. Maybe it was just all the conversations that I wanted to remember but now cannot recall. Yeah, probably. Pathetic -_-
I remember there was a conversation about cuddling. I think I was the one who brought it up though. Not sure.
Blah, I feel like a mopey drunk. I'm a mopey person, mm.
You know, I feel like I can type so much. Yet, there's nothing there, hm.
And my brain hurts. But it doesn't feel like a hangover. It shouldn't be a hangover. I didn't drink enough. Could be a residual headache from last night.
Home alone now. Why am I supposed to be home right now?
I'm kinda losing focus. I'm kinda losing myself. Must be the lack of sleep.
I have a strong urge to really complain about my life, about how frustrated I am that things don't work out the way I want them to (ooh, another conversation topic I had with Phil). But eh.
Friday, January 1, 2010
2010: "Twenty ten" or "Two thousand ten"
That seems to be the new debate of the year or something. According to NAGG (National Association of Good Grammar), it's supposed to be "twenty ten." But seriously, who friggin' cares? -__-
Anyway, last night/this morning was fun. I spent most of yesterday debating what I should do for the night. Decided I wouldn't go to Austin's party because, though I would have known more people there, I wasn't very close with any of them and I could see most of them at State. Decided not to hang out with Autumn :x because it seemed that no one else was going and Mother didn't want me to be downtown.
So by process of elimination, the logical conclusion was to go to Harrison's house. Though, I suppose I could have stayed home. That would have been logical too.
So how the night progressed, from leaving home to coming home:
First, I had to drive to East Side to drop off Brother's forgotten clothes at his friend's place. I didn't go straight to Harrison's afterward. Instead, I drove around downtown to waste some time because Harrison had to pick up his friends first. And damn, downtown was empty around 19h30-20h00.
Finally got a text from Harrison saying he was home, so I drove south. Got to his house around 20h20. Parked down the street.
So the party consisted mostly of Harrison's family, of course. Big Mexican families, you know. And three of Harrison's friends he knew from OG were there (Michael B, Anthony S, and Cindy L). And this was the turnout :P Maria didn't show up -_- Dang it. It's been almost a year since I last saw her. Anyway, the four of us were the only Asians in that house last night haha.
Let's see. Conversation revolved around actors and movies, horrors and thrillers. Lots of Mexican food. I didn't eat any because I always eat before I leave the house for a party or something haha. I'm weird like that. But I had some drink. I said I wouldn't touch alcohol, but I wanted to try some Baileys Irish Cream >_> Only 34 proof. Got like a shot's worth, mixed in root beer. About half an hour later, I tried a shot of Kahlua (40 proof). Again, mixed in root beer. Not strong stuff. And not a lot either. I was going to drive home. Yep. Barely any effect, just a tiny bit of warmth.
I had to mix in the root beer -_- I think I have an aversion now. From all the times I got sick from alcohol. I have an aversion not to alcohol but to the smell of alcohol. Seriously, one sniff and I feel nauseous now. And it's been a while since Halloween.
Anyway, after the food and drink, we all went upstairs to watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (though, only Anthony and Harrison really paid attention) and to play Uno. And Truth or Dare on the iTouch :D Played for a while. ToD wasn't that interesting. The Truth questions were lame XP The questions I had to answer: "What was your first kiss like?" and "Who is best dressed out of everyone in the room?" -_- My answers: "Never been kissed. Closest I've gotten was a girl gave me a kiss on the cheek" and "I am because my hat is awesome." Oh, you know which hat I was wearing ^__^
Took a break to sing Happy Birthday to Chris C (Harrison's brother, who looks nothing like him at all). Then back up to continue Uno.
At exactly 23h52, we went downstairs to the outside with Harrison's family. Waited, talked, laughed. There was no countdown D: I was saddened. But at exactly midnight, Harrison lit the first of the mini-sparkly-fireworks. Yeah, we all had our fun with the low-grade fireworks and sparklers haha. Ooh, and poppers, the ones that explode when you toss them at the ground or really any hard/semi-hard surface. Apparently, they can pop when you snap them as well.
We watched flare-like fireworks go into the air from different blocks. As we looked up at the blue moon, we all saw a visibly light ring around it. And Harrison began explaining the phenomenon.
A little while later, we saw something go across the sky. Harrison's cousins at first exclaimed that they were looking at a UFO. So the rest of us looked up. There was something bright orange in sky. It passed under the moon. Initially, some of us thought it was fireworks or something. But we decided that it was moving too slowly and too high to be one. It seemed to be going as fast as a plane that's about to land at the Mineta Airport. It could have been a lone meteor. But it wasn't a streak of light and it was visible for way too long. It looked more like a light from an airplane, but the light was too orange and a bit too wide. Then someone, remembering the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas day, suggested that it was an airplane on fire. It did look like it was going to drop toward the Earth once it had passed the moon for about six seconds. But it didn't. Instead, the bright orange started to flicker and then fizzled out. So it couldn't have been an airplane on fire, which wouldn't have sustained such a long length of time in the air.
Did you see this orange light in the sky? Neither a streak of light nor a burst of flame. Just a bright orange light that floated across the midnight sky.
Probably was a meteoroid.
Anyway, after all the meteoroid/sparkler fun, we went back inside. Back up to Harrison's room. Played Thirteen.
Then home at 01h30.
Last night was a lot more interesting than I made it seem haha. The conversations were just hilarious. Lots of innuendo and stuff haha. Oh yeah, Oliver (the puppy) kept biting my fingers and jacket -_- Anthony must have rubbed off his scent on me or something.
Ah, though not as packed as last year's New Year's party, I still had a lot of fun last night. Got to know three new people. Found out they all knew a few of my old friends from middle school :D I'm always excited by that haha. Meeting new friends who already know your other friends :P Small world. Such connectedness haha.
Anyway, yeah, good times, good times last night. New year now. Changes. Or improvements to be made. Started on my workout resolutions this morning ^_^ I'm proud of myself. Hopefully I stick to them this time haha.
And people, we need to chill this weekend before you all leave -nods-
And I'm already using up one hour of the Internet. Time for a break.
Happy 2010, folks :)
Anyway, last night/this morning was fun. I spent most of yesterday debating what I should do for the night. Decided I wouldn't go to Austin's party because, though I would have known more people there, I wasn't very close with any of them and I could see most of them at State. Decided not to hang out with Autumn :x because it seemed that no one else was going and Mother didn't want me to be downtown.
So by process of elimination, the logical conclusion was to go to Harrison's house. Though, I suppose I could have stayed home. That would have been logical too.
So how the night progressed, from leaving home to coming home:
First, I had to drive to East Side to drop off Brother's forgotten clothes at his friend's place. I didn't go straight to Harrison's afterward. Instead, I drove around downtown to waste some time because Harrison had to pick up his friends first. And damn, downtown was empty around 19h30-20h00.
Finally got a text from Harrison saying he was home, so I drove south. Got to his house around 20h20. Parked down the street.
So the party consisted mostly of Harrison's family, of course. Big Mexican families, you know. And three of Harrison's friends he knew from OG were there (Michael B, Anthony S, and Cindy L). And this was the turnout :P Maria didn't show up -_- Dang it. It's been almost a year since I last saw her. Anyway, the four of us were the only Asians in that house last night haha.
Let's see. Conversation revolved around actors and movies, horrors and thrillers. Lots of Mexican food. I didn't eat any because I always eat before I leave the house for a party or something haha. I'm weird like that. But I had some drink. I said I wouldn't touch alcohol, but I wanted to try some Baileys Irish Cream >_> Only 34 proof. Got like a shot's worth, mixed in root beer. About half an hour later, I tried a shot of Kahlua (40 proof). Again, mixed in root beer. Not strong stuff. And not a lot either. I was going to drive home. Yep. Barely any effect, just a tiny bit of warmth.
I had to mix in the root beer -_- I think I have an aversion now. From all the times I got sick from alcohol. I have an aversion not to alcohol but to the smell of alcohol. Seriously, one sniff and I feel nauseous now. And it's been a while since Halloween.
Anyway, after the food and drink, we all went upstairs to watch "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" (though, only Anthony and Harrison really paid attention) and to play Uno. And Truth or Dare on the iTouch :D Played for a while. ToD wasn't that interesting. The Truth questions were lame XP The questions I had to answer: "What was your first kiss like?" and "Who is best dressed out of everyone in the room?" -_- My answers: "Never been kissed. Closest I've gotten was a girl gave me a kiss on the cheek" and "I am because my hat is awesome." Oh, you know which hat I was wearing ^__^
Took a break to sing Happy Birthday to Chris C (Harrison's brother, who looks nothing like him at all). Then back up to continue Uno.
At exactly 23h52, we went downstairs to the outside with Harrison's family. Waited, talked, laughed. There was no countdown D: I was saddened. But at exactly midnight, Harrison lit the first of the mini-sparkly-fireworks. Yeah, we all had our fun with the low-grade fireworks and sparklers haha. Ooh, and poppers, the ones that explode when you toss them at the ground or really any hard/semi-hard surface. Apparently, they can pop when you snap them as well.
We watched flare-like fireworks go into the air from different blocks. As we looked up at the blue moon, we all saw a visibly light ring around it. And Harrison began explaining the phenomenon.
A little while later, we saw something go across the sky. Harrison's cousins at first exclaimed that they were looking at a UFO. So the rest of us looked up. There was something bright orange in sky. It passed under the moon. Initially, some of us thought it was fireworks or something. But we decided that it was moving too slowly and too high to be one. It seemed to be going as fast as a plane that's about to land at the Mineta Airport. It could have been a lone meteor. But it wasn't a streak of light and it was visible for way too long. It looked more like a light from an airplane, but the light was too orange and a bit too wide. Then someone, remembering the attempted terrorist attack on Christmas day, suggested that it was an airplane on fire. It did look like it was going to drop toward the Earth once it had passed the moon for about six seconds. But it didn't. Instead, the bright orange started to flicker and then fizzled out. So it couldn't have been an airplane on fire, which wouldn't have sustained such a long length of time in the air.
Did you see this orange light in the sky? Neither a streak of light nor a burst of flame. Just a bright orange light that floated across the midnight sky.
Probably was a meteoroid.
Anyway, after all the meteoroid/sparkler fun, we went back inside. Back up to Harrison's room. Played Thirteen.
Then home at 01h30.
Last night was a lot more interesting than I made it seem haha. The conversations were just hilarious. Lots of innuendo and stuff haha. Oh yeah, Oliver (the puppy) kept biting my fingers and jacket -_- Anthony must have rubbed off his scent on me or something.
Ah, though not as packed as last year's New Year's party, I still had a lot of fun last night. Got to know three new people. Found out they all knew a few of my old friends from middle school :D I'm always excited by that haha. Meeting new friends who already know your other friends :P Small world. Such connectedness haha.
Anyway, yeah, good times, good times last night. New year now. Changes. Or improvements to be made. Started on my workout resolutions this morning ^_^ I'm proud of myself. Hopefully I stick to them this time haha.
And people, we need to chill this weekend before you all leave -nods-
And I'm already using up one hour of the Internet. Time for a break.
Happy 2010, folks :)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Maybe the third time's the charm
Last night, I went to a small dorm party hosted by Shiva and her roomies. I think I got there around 7 PM. Got introduced to her friends. Though, I only remember the names of three people: JD, Hannah, Jonathan. Watched Iron Chef or something. Then we watched Edward Scissorhands, American Psycho, and Nightmare on Elm Street III. I passed out when they were playing Soul Caliber III.
I didn't eat much and drank too much haha. I tried not to. But peer pressure! haha... I didn't eat much because I thought that would stop me from drinking a lot XP I was soo wrong.
There was butterbeer (know where that's from?), vodka, champagne, and whiskey. Egh. I can't believe I drank even more this time. You'd think that I would learn by now haha.
So yes, there was puking involved. But I don't remember most of what happened. I still feel nauseous right now but better than this morning. Kept puking when I woke up this morning. Had to think of croissants to temporarily stop the nausea. I don't know why that helped, but it did. Was supposed to go pick up the brother from his friend's place. But I couldn't get up without the nausea. I finally got up at 12.
Shiva gave me a change of clothes and then walked me to my car. Ran into JD (everyone left sometime this morning, after I passed out). Continued to the car. Talked about random stuff.
So anyway, this time, for real, no more alcohol. I mean it. It's not even that fun to be drunk. I think I'm repeating myself, but this time I'm really gonna stay sober. I hate feeling like shit the next day. From now on, I'll just be the designated driver haha. I'll feel better about myself that way.
Ugh, I hope the nausea goes away by tomorrow. Doesn't feel like it will, but yeah. I think the trying to remember what happened last night is making me nauseous. I should stop, shouldn't I? But I can't help it. I want to remember things other than getting drunk.
Hmm, trying to remember other stuff from last night... I was texting Harrison last night. Started when I was sober, ended when I was drunk. I think Shiva sent the last text for me because I was too tired to look at my phone anymore :P Uhh, there was a jack-o-lantern. Domo on one side, Hello Kitty on the other. Tried to light the candle in the pumpkin three different ways. Apparently, someone got shot near the Seventh Street Parking Garage (I didn't know till this morning when I checked my texts). Got to know Shiva a lil better because I kept saying that I didn't really know anyone at the party.
Thank you, Shiva, for taking care of me haha.
We're hella tight now haha. You know why? Because taking care of someone who's puking their guts out is what good friends do. And it's rather intimate, don't you think? Haha yeaah.
Anyway, I have a shitload of Facebook messages to answer. Yay. So I'm gonna deal with that and maybe go back to bed. Or read a book. As long as I can take my mind off my stomach, it's all good. Ugh, I still smell alcohol. So gross.
Peace out.
I didn't eat much and drank too much haha. I tried not to. But peer pressure! haha... I didn't eat much because I thought that would stop me from drinking a lot XP I was soo wrong.
There was butterbeer (know where that's from?), vodka, champagne, and whiskey. Egh. I can't believe I drank even more this time. You'd think that I would learn by now haha.
So yes, there was puking involved. But I don't remember most of what happened. I still feel nauseous right now but better than this morning. Kept puking when I woke up this morning. Had to think of croissants to temporarily stop the nausea. I don't know why that helped, but it did. Was supposed to go pick up the brother from his friend's place. But I couldn't get up without the nausea. I finally got up at 12.
Shiva gave me a change of clothes and then walked me to my car. Ran into JD (everyone left sometime this morning, after I passed out). Continued to the car. Talked about random stuff.
So anyway, this time, for real, no more alcohol. I mean it. It's not even that fun to be drunk. I think I'm repeating myself, but this time I'm really gonna stay sober. I hate feeling like shit the next day. From now on, I'll just be the designated driver haha. I'll feel better about myself that way.
Ugh, I hope the nausea goes away by tomorrow. Doesn't feel like it will, but yeah. I think the trying to remember what happened last night is making me nauseous. I should stop, shouldn't I? But I can't help it. I want to remember things other than getting drunk.
Hmm, trying to remember other stuff from last night... I was texting Harrison last night. Started when I was sober, ended when I was drunk. I think Shiva sent the last text for me because I was too tired to look at my phone anymore :P Uhh, there was a jack-o-lantern. Domo on one side, Hello Kitty on the other. Tried to light the candle in the pumpkin three different ways. Apparently, someone got shot near the Seventh Street Parking Garage (I didn't know till this morning when I checked my texts). Got to know Shiva a lil better because I kept saying that I didn't really know anyone at the party.
Thank you, Shiva, for taking care of me haha.
We're hella tight now haha. You know why? Because taking care of someone who's puking their guts out is what good friends do. And it's rather intimate, don't you think? Haha yeaah.
Anyway, I have a shitload of Facebook messages to answer. Yay. So I'm gonna deal with that and maybe go back to bed. Or read a book. As long as I can take my mind off my stomach, it's all good. Ugh, I still smell alcohol. So gross.
Peace out.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Yay, Widmer :P
Yesterday, I woke up early to drive Mother to Stockton. Not a fun trip.
Drove back in time to visit the Brother at 1600.
Ate dinner at D's place.
Went home to get ready to go to Angelica's house. I still haven't really met her haha, but Randy invited me because Le told him to. Yeah, fun stuff.
Le gave me a ride :)
People who showed up: Alex O, Randy, Le, Andrew, Cathy, Nancy, Julian, Kiet, Nick S, Ariel, Alvin, Ashley, Randy's suitemate Andy, Ariane, her dance members Jae-Ar and Melfred, Alex's cousin Raul(?), and two guys that I didn't talk to XP
Nick showed me where the last Widmer Hefeweizen was hiding in the fridge ^_^ Haha finally, someone else who drinks wheat beer. Everyone else prefers pale ale or lagers. Or just not beer haha.
Anyway, watched two matches of beer pong before Le took me home at midnight. Nancy, beginner's luck, yeah? Crazy good skills hahaha. Andy is pretty damn awesome at beer pong too. Lots of practice in the dorms haha.
When I went home, my face was flushed, and Mother asked if I drank alcohol. I said there was major game-playing going on. You know how we teenagers get excited when playing games haha.
I haven't had a beer in like a month. Last time was when Tony left a bottle open in the fridge and then got arrested XP
Haha anyway, fun time last night, and it wasn't because I was drunk. I wasn't even drunk. I don't think I was even tipsy. Just really, really warm. Only thing I don't like about drinking (in the summer) is it makes me burn up. Winter drinking, fine, fun. Summer drinking, I need to watch myself.
Oh yeah, Mother was happy and surprised that I was home last night :P See? She can trust me somewhat.
This afternoon (I woke up at 1230 heh), we ate lunch (more like my breakfast) and talked about the past (we do this often). Then we talked about life insurance and such. I have a mental list of the things I want to keep. It includes the dinner table and the chairs. Not for their worth, but for the memories. They're almost as old as I am.
Lots of preparation and anticipation of years to come. And deaths and more. I'm not thinking about it, but Mother is trying to plan ahead :/ Yeah, realistic. I don't want to be realistic right now. But we only started talking about these things because we were talking about Michael Jackson's will -_- Will --> Life insurance --> Debts --> Keepsakes, etc... Don't want the government taking things that mean something to us.
Drove back in time to visit the Brother at 1600.
Ate dinner at D's place.
Went home to get ready to go to Angelica's house. I still haven't really met her haha, but Randy invited me because Le told him to. Yeah, fun stuff.
Le gave me a ride :)
People who showed up: Alex O, Randy, Le, Andrew, Cathy, Nancy, Julian, Kiet, Nick S, Ariel, Alvin, Ashley, Randy's suitemate Andy, Ariane, her dance members Jae-Ar and Melfred, Alex's cousin Raul(?), and two guys that I didn't talk to XP
Nick showed me where the last Widmer Hefeweizen was hiding in the fridge ^_^ Haha finally, someone else who drinks wheat beer. Everyone else prefers pale ale or lagers. Or just not beer haha.
Anyway, watched two matches of beer pong before Le took me home at midnight. Nancy, beginner's luck, yeah? Crazy good skills hahaha. Andy is pretty damn awesome at beer pong too. Lots of practice in the dorms haha.
When I went home, my face was flushed, and Mother asked if I drank alcohol. I said there was major game-playing going on. You know how we teenagers get excited when playing games haha.
I haven't had a beer in like a month. Last time was when Tony left a bottle open in the fridge and then got arrested XP
Haha anyway, fun time last night, and it wasn't because I was drunk. I wasn't even drunk. I don't think I was even tipsy. Just really, really warm. Only thing I don't like about drinking (in the summer) is it makes me burn up. Winter drinking, fine, fun. Summer drinking, I need to watch myself.
Oh yeah, Mother was happy and surprised that I was home last night :P See? She can trust me somewhat.
This afternoon (I woke up at 1230 heh), we ate lunch (more like my breakfast) and talked about the past (we do this often). Then we talked about life insurance and such. I have a mental list of the things I want to keep. It includes the dinner table and the chairs. Not for their worth, but for the memories. They're almost as old as I am.
Lots of preparation and anticipation of years to come. And deaths and more. I'm not thinking about it, but Mother is trying to plan ahead :/ Yeah, realistic. I don't want to be realistic right now. But we only started talking about these things because we were talking about Michael Jackson's will -_- Will --> Life insurance --> Debts --> Keepsakes, etc... Don't want the government taking things that mean something to us.
Friday, January 2, 2009
Happy New Year!
So it's 2009 now. What fun. A new year. 23 resolutions to work on or achieve. Well, 21 now. I renewed my library card and just made a new blog, hmm. No more LJ. Now, it's Blogger/Blogspot (that still confuses me).
I was thinking of making my first blog about some random topic, but I think I wanna remember as much as I can about New Year's. It was good and bad. I don't think I'll say too much. I and my details follow each other too closely sometimes.
Anyway, so New Year's Eve, I had dinner with my family and another family. Then I asked my mom if I could go to a New Year's get-together with a few friends. Being the good Asian kid I am, I mentioned the names of the friends that my mom likes: Alex D, Kathleen, Ariane, Randy, and Kiet. They really were going though, so I wasn't lying. And I did tell her that the host of the party was Markus, Ariane's friend, not mine. Partying with Wrawsome or at least half of it.
Surprisingly, my mom was ok with it, even though she repeatedly warned me against drinking again. After Cathy's birthday thing, I agreed I wouldn't drink any hard liquor, at most a shot haha. You know, in Vietnamese, it's really easy to twist words.
Mm, so Alex picked me up after he picked up Kat, Randy, and Kiet. First, we made a quick stop at Alex O's house. Then we were off to Waverly Ave. Damn, there was hella fog that night. Anyway, we kept missing Markus' house. It was funny though.
Ariane introduced us to her crew, but we still kinda kept to ourselves. No mingling. Too awkward. We were the strangers in this house, you know. So after about half an hour, I think, Kiet suggested going to another party where there were some people we actually knew. Ariane got hella sad about that though :/ I started to feel hella bad, especially after we had had the chat about being able to celebrate New Year's with friends for the first time.
So I decided to stay and try to talk to her dance friends. Chill people, very chill. Took our first shots of the night. I got some Black Label. Damn that shit, man. No chasers for me 'cause I'm a beast! Haha.... No buzz. I talked to a few people.
I think I made some new friends though haha.
I remember:
Tim (hella nice guy, encouraging me to drink beer haha)
Natasha (she likes me. She kept repeating that every time she saw me haha)
Leticia (she ain't black XP)
Jeffro (he's not 25)
Jae-Ar (you gotta wrestle the bottle away from this guy)
Melfred (he's afraid of trolls haha)
Markus (his house got some hella nice stuff)
Mark (he stayed sober, but he was cool)
Foxy (Markus' dog :P So cute. I love pomeranians.)
I remember all the people's faces, but I don't remember the names. Hmm. But yeah, hella cool people.
Anyway, I had two beers. Tecate, not my kinda shit. Widmer will always be the love of my life haha. Jk jk. It just tastes way better, but it's more expensive. Wheat beer is my thing though. And throughout the night, people were sharing their rum and coke with me, but I wasn't paying attention to that.
Alex, Randy, Kat, and Kiet, came back around 1:30. Played King's Cup with them. Shit, that game fucked Ariane and me up, like whoa. I don't remember what exactly happened after 2 AM. I remember bits. That was bad. I felt bad for Ariane though. I was supposed to be sober enough to help her. And I had said I wasn't gonna drink more than a shot and a beer. It seems that I can't control myself after the first shot; I just keep drinking D: That's pretty sad, but now I know I shouldn't drink at all. Not even a little. I'll save the beers for dinners XP
Kat, Kiet, Randy, and Alex took care of us till about 7 in the morning when they left for home. Hella stuff happened when we were out though :/ Can't believe we missed so much. Just glad we didn't die haha. Mm, I barely remember some of the stuff I was saying when I was out. I hope I didn't say too much.
When we woke up, I think it was 1 in the afternoon. Markus, Tim, Leticia, Melfred, and Markus' girlfriend (don't remember her name >_<) were still around. We watched "Step Brothers." I didn't have my glasses on though, so I saw blurry images haha. Funny movie though. I ate a slice of pizza. I forced myself to eat it. I mean, it made me sick to swallow food.
My mom called, and I asked her to come pick me up, so that Ariane wouldn't have to drive me home. We started watching "The Descent," but I left after thirty minutes. Mm, I was sure my mom would pick up the scent of alcohol, but she hasn't said anything. I still wasn't feeling too well when I left. We got home after the sun set. I showered and just went straight to bed.
So yesterday, I basically slept through most of the day, which is ok. January 1st, first day of the year, and I sleep through it haha :P It's all good.
Yeah, this entry doesn't have too many details like my usual entries. I remember more, but I don't think I need to put much up to remember what happened.
So from now on, I either stay away from the alc or else I'ma keep drinking more than I can handle haha. Or someone's gotta watch me and make sure I don't drink more than a shot and a beer :P Woo. What fun.
A lot of gratitude for Alex, Randy, Kat, and Kiet. Thank you very much. Ah, I'm still sorry for wasting your New Year's.
Mm, so resolutions. Posting them just in case I lose my hard copy haha.
'09 Resolutions
1. Choose a major.
2. Meditate at least 15 minutes a day.
3. Hug at least 1 person a day.
4. Compliment someone at least once a week.
5. Get a job.
6. Reduce my extra time on the desktop to 15hrs/wk.
7. Renew and use my library card.
8. Go out with friends at least once every month.
9. Limit myself to 4 sodas a month.
10. Start a new blog.
11. Make at least one YouTube video.
12. Try a different hairstyle.
13. Utilize the on-campus fitness facilities.
14. Learn how to play a new instrument.
15. Cosplay for Anime Expo 2009.
16. Remain calm in all situations.
17. Stop lying about stupid things.
18. Reconnect and keep in touch with friends.
19. Learn how to read and write Vietnamese well.
20. Become a morning person.
21. Complain less.
22. Stop bringing myself down with my own words.
23. Smile more.
What a start to the new year. Well, at least I got 2 of my resolutions already haha. Mm, changes, changes. Goals, really. I just wanna do better.
I wonder how I'll keep up with this blog though. Hmm.
I was thinking of making my first blog about some random topic, but I think I wanna remember as much as I can about New Year's. It was good and bad. I don't think I'll say too much. I and my details follow each other too closely sometimes.
Anyway, so New Year's Eve, I had dinner with my family and another family. Then I asked my mom if I could go to a New Year's get-together with a few friends. Being the good Asian kid I am, I mentioned the names of the friends that my mom likes: Alex D, Kathleen, Ariane, Randy, and Kiet. They really were going though, so I wasn't lying. And I did tell her that the host of the party was Markus, Ariane's friend, not mine. Partying with Wrawsome or at least half of it.
Surprisingly, my mom was ok with it, even though she repeatedly warned me against drinking again. After Cathy's birthday thing, I agreed I wouldn't drink any hard liquor, at most a shot haha. You know, in Vietnamese, it's really easy to twist words.
Mm, so Alex picked me up after he picked up Kat, Randy, and Kiet. First, we made a quick stop at Alex O's house. Then we were off to Waverly Ave. Damn, there was hella fog that night. Anyway, we kept missing Markus' house. It was funny though.
Ariane introduced us to her crew, but we still kinda kept to ourselves. No mingling. Too awkward. We were the strangers in this house, you know. So after about half an hour, I think, Kiet suggested going to another party where there were some people we actually knew. Ariane got hella sad about that though :/ I started to feel hella bad, especially after we had had the chat about being able to celebrate New Year's with friends for the first time.
So I decided to stay and try to talk to her dance friends. Chill people, very chill. Took our first shots of the night. I got some Black Label. Damn that shit, man. No chasers for me 'cause I'm a beast! Haha.... No buzz. I talked to a few people.
I think I made some new friends though haha.
I remember:
Tim (hella nice guy, encouraging me to drink beer haha)
Natasha (she likes me. She kept repeating that every time she saw me haha)
Leticia (she ain't black XP)
Jeffro (he's not 25)
Jae-Ar (you gotta wrestle the bottle away from this guy)
Melfred (he's afraid of trolls haha)
Markus (his house got some hella nice stuff)
Mark (he stayed sober, but he was cool)
Foxy (Markus' dog :P So cute. I love pomeranians.)
I remember all the people's faces, but I don't remember the names. Hmm. But yeah, hella cool people.
Anyway, I had two beers. Tecate, not my kinda shit. Widmer will always be the love of my life haha. Jk jk. It just tastes way better, but it's more expensive. Wheat beer is my thing though. And throughout the night, people were sharing their rum and coke with me, but I wasn't paying attention to that.
Alex, Randy, Kat, and Kiet, came back around 1:30. Played King's Cup with them. Shit, that game fucked Ariane and me up, like whoa. I don't remember what exactly happened after 2 AM. I remember bits. That was bad. I felt bad for Ariane though. I was supposed to be sober enough to help her. And I had said I wasn't gonna drink more than a shot and a beer. It seems that I can't control myself after the first shot; I just keep drinking D: That's pretty sad, but now I know I shouldn't drink at all. Not even a little. I'll save the beers for dinners XP
Kat, Kiet, Randy, and Alex took care of us till about 7 in the morning when they left for home. Hella stuff happened when we were out though :/ Can't believe we missed so much. Just glad we didn't die haha. Mm, I barely remember some of the stuff I was saying when I was out. I hope I didn't say too much.
When we woke up, I think it was 1 in the afternoon. Markus, Tim, Leticia, Melfred, and Markus' girlfriend (don't remember her name >_<) were still around. We watched "Step Brothers." I didn't have my glasses on though, so I saw blurry images haha. Funny movie though. I ate a slice of pizza. I forced myself to eat it. I mean, it made me sick to swallow food.
My mom called, and I asked her to come pick me up, so that Ariane wouldn't have to drive me home. We started watching "The Descent," but I left after thirty minutes. Mm, I was sure my mom would pick up the scent of alcohol, but she hasn't said anything. I still wasn't feeling too well when I left. We got home after the sun set. I showered and just went straight to bed.
So yesterday, I basically slept through most of the day, which is ok. January 1st, first day of the year, and I sleep through it haha :P It's all good.
Yeah, this entry doesn't have too many details like my usual entries. I remember more, but I don't think I need to put much up to remember what happened.
So from now on, I either stay away from the alc or else I'ma keep drinking more than I can handle haha. Or someone's gotta watch me and make sure I don't drink more than a shot and a beer :P Woo. What fun.
A lot of gratitude for Alex, Randy, Kat, and Kiet. Thank you very much. Ah, I'm still sorry for wasting your New Year's.
Mm, so resolutions. Posting them just in case I lose my hard copy haha.
'09 Resolutions
1. Choose a major.
2. Meditate at least 15 minutes a day.
3. Hug at least 1 person a day.
4. Compliment someone at least once a week.
5. Get a job.
6. Reduce my extra time on the desktop to 15hrs/wk.
7. Renew and use my library card.
8. Go out with friends at least once every month.
9. Limit myself to 4 sodas a month.
10. Start a new blog.
11. Make at least one YouTube video.
12. Try a different hairstyle.
13. Utilize the on-campus fitness facilities.
14. Learn how to play a new instrument.
15. Cosplay for Anime Expo 2009.
16. Remain calm in all situations.
17. Stop lying about stupid things.
18. Reconnect and keep in touch with friends.
19. Learn how to read and write Vietnamese well.
20. Become a morning person.
21. Complain less.
22. Stop bringing myself down with my own words.
23. Smile more.
What a start to the new year. Well, at least I got 2 of my resolutions already haha. Mm, changes, changes. Goals, really. I just wanna do better.
I wonder how I'll keep up with this blog though. Hmm.
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