Use of imprecise language, intentional or otherwise, often leads to misunderstanding and miscommunication.
Use of precise language makes little difference if you don't have the same set of definitions and connotations as your audience.
----
I'm pretty sure my parents still don't understand a lot of the basic American things I've tried to explain. I'm also sure I don't fully grasp the weight of the Vietnamese stories my parents have shared with me. It's an ongoing process, but we make progress with every casual conversation and deep discussion.
----
I like to think it's all of the short and long conversations in my life with family, friends, and strangers that really shaped the majority of my view of the world.
I think that's how everyone's perspective is shaped in general. Conversation. Everyday exchanges of thoughts and feelings and random observations. Of course, there are other influences. But conversation is what gradually opens my eyes to things I couldn't see before, even if I can't see it in that moment.
If people could understand that, maybe some of them would stop shouting and listen. But whatever, left or right, everyone wants to win and avoid being "on the wrong side of history." That's something we won't know until this is over. When will it be over? Will it end? What is it?
----
I worry more about social policies than I do about economic ones simply because my understanding of economics is still very limited. On the other hand, social policies are very easy for me to understand. Lots of fear about what will happen with legislation in regard to LGBT, immigrant, and women's rights. Republicans haven't been super friendly or open to compromise in the past. Granted, it would be great to get our economy on track, but it wouldn't mean much if my quality of life was reduced in other ways.
But we'll see what happens. We'll see if some miracle happens and the gov actually works for and with the majority and the minority of this country. Maybe not now, but one day...
Wednesday, January 25, 2017
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Rave life chose me.
I've been going to events for more than three years now. Each subsequent year has found me attending more events than the previous. I thought I would slow down, but that didn't happen. Until now.
The rave scene has changed a lot. Granted, people who've been doing this longer than I have have seen way more changes. But I, for one, have started to feel jaded and nostalgic. It's only been three years.
I still want to enjoy the music. I was never really one to connect with the people at events, but I feel more disconnected now than ever. Countdown changed that a bit. I felt more connected than I usually do. It was a nice change. It reminded me of why I started and continued to rave in the first place. I can't quite explain it because I'm not sure I really understand what happened. Everything just seemed to flow together a little better at Countdown than at Escape or even Dreamstate So Cal.
Anyway, there wasn't really a point to that. I just wanted to put the thought down.
I come to the same realization over and over again. I've spent a lot of my income on raving. It's an expensive hobby that requires travel, lodging, food, etc. And lots and lots of rest and recovery. Would I change any of it and spend my money more wisely? Probably not. I've gained a lot of experiences and memories, both wonderful and terrifying, which have helped me grow, learn, and see the world in a different light.
But the sheer amount of money I've spent is mind-boggling to say the least. I never saw myself as a big spender. I still don't. But my bank account would beg to differ. Yeah, I've met people who spent more on a handful of raves than I have in my entire three-year adventure. But for me to throw money at raves so easily, that idea would have baffled me just five years ago.
I guess getting my first job just opened up all these opportunities, and the inner wild child that never experienced much got to do what she wanted to do. And she's been having a hell of a time.
Of course, life catches up sometimes to remind me that I have responsibilities or that I should start thinking about the future a little more carefully. I'm still having trouble doing that, but I'm taking baby steps. I have goals (who would've thought?). Long-term and short-term. Trying to find a balance. Trying to figure out where my priorities lie, how selfish I should be, when I'll make things happen. And these goals keep changing and rearranging haha.
I'm trying to be more thoughtful, while still putting myself first. It's hard not to feel like I'm not doing enough, but I don't even know what enough is. All I can really focus on now is surviving in the Bay, working, helping my family when they need it, and not losing my mind trying to do all this. Mental health issues don't help much, but for now I'm dealing with it. Granted, I've not talked to a doctor about it. Really, I haven't been to a doctor in quite some time. At least a year. I know I'm paying for it, but I'm not utilizing it. I really should, especially if the government is planning to gut the ACA soon :/
Anyway, I'm trying to find new hobbies and rediscover old ones. Trying to ease the financial weight of my current hobby haha. Also, trying to promote self-care. My friend Matt had a conversation with me recently because he was worried about me. It brought to light a lot of issues I've been having and running from. Nothing new. Just stuff that's always been there, that I've fought and struggled with successfully and unsuccessfully. It's a cycle that I often find myself in.
I feel like my thoughts are going in circles now haha. I'm just trying to find some peace, calm, confidence, and a stronger sense of self. Raving used to help me with that, and then it didn't. Now it's kinda helping again. But I gotta make sure I don't go overboard with it. And I want to find other things and activities to help too.
For now, I'm still a little stuck on that. I'm getting back into my sudoku puzzles haha. Been trying to get back into reading, but I'm struggling with that. I'm not sure why. Otherwise, I'm still flipping through ideas for hobbies. What makes it hard is I get more anxiety being around strangers nowadays, which is so funny because I go raving only to be surrounded by strangers all the time. But yeah, I'm trying to work with that. Hence, the solo activities for now. Eventually, I'll hopefully venture out into the world more.
2017... I'm going to travel. Well, I'll try. No EDC. The three times I've left California were to go to EDC Las Vegas. I must go elsewhere.
First up, Portland! I know three friends up there. I can fly! Now, I know I'm okay on a plane after flying back home after Dreamstate. Hoping I can deal with airports on my own... Must book flights soon...
I also want to visit Seattle just because. I want to visit my friend Summer in Santa Barbara; I've never driven down the PCH, and so I look forward to this. Also going to visit a couple of other folks sprinkled about the US. Matt wants to go to Hawaii for his birthday; so that may be a trip I'm planning to do too. I just read a blog about how a guy travelled across the US by train for a couple hundred dollars. That also sounds intriguing.
Travel plans are a reason I want to cut back on raving. Another important one is family. Rough times right now. I feel like I should be ready to help financially. Although, I don't have that much to my name. I should still have something available in case of emergency.
I feel like a bad person. I say I want to help, but I also want to do all these fun things. I am not sure how to reconcile. I'm just moving forward with my plans and hoping that I'm doing right by myself and others.
----
In any case, my 2017 rave ticket budget is $850. I'd do a more detailed budget, but I think budgeting for just tickets is limiting enough haha.
So far, so good. Despite all the temptation, I have only spent a total of $160 for Crush SF in February and Untz Festival in June haha. I think by this time last year, I was set to go to five or six events by the end of March XD
I'm now trying to decide what one or two events I may add between February and June.
CRSSD: March 4-5 in San Diego, a city I have never visited. I like the lineup. Lots of small names I wanna see. About $165. Need to think about travel and lodging.
Beyond So Cal: March 25-26 in San Bernardino, which I've travelled to many times. Still waiting for the lineup. About $190. Travel and lodging can be booked through Insomniac.
Dreamstate: May 27-28 in SF, which I'm fairly familiar with. Won't know the lineup for a while. But this would be the cheapest choice. Usually about $150. Basic commute to SF. Although, it would also be the weekend before Untz. How much energy would I have?
I want to consider Shaky Beats in Atlanta because their lineup is amazing, but my math puts this event way over my budget, especially if I'm trying to spread out my events through the year. I'm also reminding myself that it's not the end of the world if I don't attend all these events. I was fine before I knew they existed. I must not give power to the fomo.
----
First world problems? Yeah, I know... <.<;;
The rave scene has changed a lot. Granted, people who've been doing this longer than I have have seen way more changes. But I, for one, have started to feel jaded and nostalgic. It's only been three years.
I still want to enjoy the music. I was never really one to connect with the people at events, but I feel more disconnected now than ever. Countdown changed that a bit. I felt more connected than I usually do. It was a nice change. It reminded me of why I started and continued to rave in the first place. I can't quite explain it because I'm not sure I really understand what happened. Everything just seemed to flow together a little better at Countdown than at Escape or even Dreamstate So Cal.
Anyway, there wasn't really a point to that. I just wanted to put the thought down.
I come to the same realization over and over again. I've spent a lot of my income on raving. It's an expensive hobby that requires travel, lodging, food, etc. And lots and lots of rest and recovery. Would I change any of it and spend my money more wisely? Probably not. I've gained a lot of experiences and memories, both wonderful and terrifying, which have helped me grow, learn, and see the world in a different light.
But the sheer amount of money I've spent is mind-boggling to say the least. I never saw myself as a big spender. I still don't. But my bank account would beg to differ. Yeah, I've met people who spent more on a handful of raves than I have in my entire three-year adventure. But for me to throw money at raves so easily, that idea would have baffled me just five years ago.
I guess getting my first job just opened up all these opportunities, and the inner wild child that never experienced much got to do what she wanted to do. And she's been having a hell of a time.
Of course, life catches up sometimes to remind me that I have responsibilities or that I should start thinking about the future a little more carefully. I'm still having trouble doing that, but I'm taking baby steps. I have goals (who would've thought?). Long-term and short-term. Trying to find a balance. Trying to figure out where my priorities lie, how selfish I should be, when I'll make things happen. And these goals keep changing and rearranging haha.
I'm trying to be more thoughtful, while still putting myself first. It's hard not to feel like I'm not doing enough, but I don't even know what enough is. All I can really focus on now is surviving in the Bay, working, helping my family when they need it, and not losing my mind trying to do all this. Mental health issues don't help much, but for now I'm dealing with it. Granted, I've not talked to a doctor about it. Really, I haven't been to a doctor in quite some time. At least a year. I know I'm paying for it, but I'm not utilizing it. I really should, especially if the government is planning to gut the ACA soon :/
Anyway, I'm trying to find new hobbies and rediscover old ones. Trying to ease the financial weight of my current hobby haha. Also, trying to promote self-care. My friend Matt had a conversation with me recently because he was worried about me. It brought to light a lot of issues I've been having and running from. Nothing new. Just stuff that's always been there, that I've fought and struggled with successfully and unsuccessfully. It's a cycle that I often find myself in.
I feel like my thoughts are going in circles now haha. I'm just trying to find some peace, calm, confidence, and a stronger sense of self. Raving used to help me with that, and then it didn't. Now it's kinda helping again. But I gotta make sure I don't go overboard with it. And I want to find other things and activities to help too.
For now, I'm still a little stuck on that. I'm getting back into my sudoku puzzles haha. Been trying to get back into reading, but I'm struggling with that. I'm not sure why. Otherwise, I'm still flipping through ideas for hobbies. What makes it hard is I get more anxiety being around strangers nowadays, which is so funny because I go raving only to be surrounded by strangers all the time. But yeah, I'm trying to work with that. Hence, the solo activities for now. Eventually, I'll hopefully venture out into the world more.
2017... I'm going to travel. Well, I'll try. No EDC. The three times I've left California were to go to EDC Las Vegas. I must go elsewhere.
First up, Portland! I know three friends up there. I can fly! Now, I know I'm okay on a plane after flying back home after Dreamstate. Hoping I can deal with airports on my own... Must book flights soon...
I also want to visit Seattle just because. I want to visit my friend Summer in Santa Barbara; I've never driven down the PCH, and so I look forward to this. Also going to visit a couple of other folks sprinkled about the US. Matt wants to go to Hawaii for his birthday; so that may be a trip I'm planning to do too. I just read a blog about how a guy travelled across the US by train for a couple hundred dollars. That also sounds intriguing.
Travel plans are a reason I want to cut back on raving. Another important one is family. Rough times right now. I feel like I should be ready to help financially. Although, I don't have that much to my name. I should still have something available in case of emergency.
I feel like a bad person. I say I want to help, but I also want to do all these fun things. I am not sure how to reconcile. I'm just moving forward with my plans and hoping that I'm doing right by myself and others.
----
In any case, my 2017 rave ticket budget is $850. I'd do a more detailed budget, but I think budgeting for just tickets is limiting enough haha.
So far, so good. Despite all the temptation, I have only spent a total of $160 for Crush SF in February and Untz Festival in June haha. I think by this time last year, I was set to go to five or six events by the end of March XD
I'm now trying to decide what one or two events I may add between February and June.
CRSSD: March 4-5 in San Diego, a city I have never visited. I like the lineup. Lots of small names I wanna see. About $165. Need to think about travel and lodging.
Beyond So Cal: March 25-26 in San Bernardino, which I've travelled to many times. Still waiting for the lineup. About $190. Travel and lodging can be booked through Insomniac.
Dreamstate: May 27-28 in SF, which I'm fairly familiar with. Won't know the lineup for a while. But this would be the cheapest choice. Usually about $150. Basic commute to SF. Although, it would also be the weekend before Untz. How much energy would I have?
I want to consider Shaky Beats in Atlanta because their lineup is amazing, but my math puts this event way over my budget, especially if I'm trying to spread out my events through the year. I'm also reminding myself that it's not the end of the world if I don't attend all these events. I was fine before I knew they existed. I must not give power to the fomo.
----
First world problems? Yeah, I know... <.<;;
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