Winter cleaning?

Actually, it's more like six months of cleaning... Sooo summer-autumn-winter cleaning! I've been dusting, wiping down, and clearing stuff out of my room every few weeks since the summer.

I don't know what else to do. Aside from being on the job hunt, reading, and watching movies and shows, I haven't had much else to do at home. Every time I think about the stuff I own, my first thought is always "I have way too much stuff." Then I think of the clutter, and clutter bothers me >.< So I start going through my stuff and tossing them.

I've reduced my wardrobe a lot, but I also got new clothes for Christmas so XP Inane details ahead, so you can skip the rest of this paragraph: I used to have like 36 pairs of pants; now, I have nineteen, including five pairs of blue jeans. Shorts went from eight pairs to four pairs. I reduced the number of shirts I own from 60+ to just thirteen T-shirts, two polos, two long-sleeved shirts, two flannels, and nine button-ups. I'm planning to get rid of more of my graphic tees once I can buy more solid-colored shirts, especially polos. And I still have thirteen hoodies, jackets, and coats, which is fewer than the twenty I used to have. I'm still planning to get rid of some more clothes. Make it easier for myself to fit my clothes into one luggage thing. (What are they called? I never knew.)

I'm not too worried about moving my clothes though. I'm more wary of moving all my other stuff. I have to leave them with Mother. But I would much rather take them with me. However, I've been throwing out a lot of souvenirs. Especially yesterday. Trying to make space for few things in the fewest amount of boxes. Except I'm using small boxes. Like tiny ones.

It seems I don't have that much stuff anymore, which is good. Yay for less clutter! I've got my books in one box; random, small things in a shoebox, a Verizon box, and two cookie tins; and school stuff in an SJSU box. When I move, my clothes will be in one luggage, my hats and scarf will be in one of my cloth bags, my CDs will probably go in a small box, along with my yearbooks and photo albums.

Moving out is stuck on my mind. I'm a little anxious about it. Not because I'm moving out, but because I feel like I have so much to do to prepare for it (so that I don't mess up Mother's living situation) and I don't want to continue to be tied down to Mother. Except I know she's trying to keep me around. She's suggested that after I move out, eventually I should move back in with her >.> I don't have the nerve to tell her that I plan to move away from San Jose one day. But I did say I would never want to move back in. Once I'm out, I'm out for good.

I'm thinking about moving out so often... I don't want to forget anything. That's why I'm blogging about where I'm putting stuff. So I don't forget I already have a plan for how I'm going to transfer my stuff. If I have as few possessions as possible, I can just take it all with me when I move in with Shiva and Killol. Because right now, my plan is just to take my clothes, towel, blanket, netbook, and a few other necessities with me. If I can put all my stuff into a few small boxes or one medium-sized box, I can just take it all with me. When I move into my own room later, I'll take my bed, coat stand, a dresser, and maybe my desktop and desk. Maybe I'll sell my bed and get a twin-sized bed too. A full-size is so big for me >.>

Still have so much stuff I don't need. Also good exercise for letting things go. Still so hard to let go -sigh- I just want to keep things I need. Goal: Small and few. Minimalist lifestyle! It would be so much easier to do once Mother stops telling me what to do and telling me that I'm too cheap or I act too poor. I just want to live a simple life. I'm not a decorative or extravagant person on most days. I just need to let go!

Sorry, that last paragraph was random. But yeah, I'm gonna try to live the life I want to live. Butting heads with Mother will happen because she wants me to do all these things for her that I can't afford to do yet. Nor do I want to at this point in my life. I just wanna know what it's like to take care of myself first. She wants me to buy a house, so that our whole family can live together <.< That's just not what I want. One, I don't want to live with her again. Two, I don't want to live in or own a house. Three, she's trying to plan my life without my input. It's frustrating. She's making plans that I don't see myself being a part of. At the least, when I can afford to, I will help pay for her living space, food, clothes, and leisure. But she's making plans like she expects me to do it within the next year or two. I won't. I don't expect to be making enough money for all that for at least the next four or five years. Even when I get to that point, I don't know how extravagant I will be with my spending. If I still spend less on myself, then yeah I can spend more on her. But if I start spending on myself like how she spends on herself, I won't be able to take care of her the way she wants me to.

Also, at that point in my life, I might have a significant other. I don't know where my priorities will be then.

I just wish she'd let me figure out my life for myself. I have (ideas of) plans for how I want to live and how to save my money and everything, but she won't listen to me. If she keeps butting into my life and trying to change it so that it fits what she wants, I'm going to feel less and less inclined to share my plans (and savings) with her. She's just gotta let me do my thing and trust that I will learn how to take care of myself, come back, and take care of her when I can. Making me take care of her now when I don't even know how to care for myself is one of the worst things she can do. But, of course, she won't listen. So I'm going to have to figure out how to do what I want to do while still appeasing her.

Wish me luck XP