I'm having a lil difficulty with the cha cha.

So I danced as a leader today. That was interesting. Some of the girls were cool with it. A few I could tell they were bothered by it. They had a blank-stare kinda look when I partnered with them (We dance in a circle and switch partners about every thirty seconds).

I have to admit it is awkward for me to even be dancing with anyone, let alone girls haha. And a lot of them are taller than me, so it was hard for me to turn them XP

So we learned how to chase and do a crossover. Fun stuff. I need to work on a lot. My feet and my brain don't always agree. Usually, it's when my left foot should go forward. Instead, my right foot goes, and I lose my balance XP I'll work on it. I need to work on my sense of rhythm as well haha.

Oh, practicing steps with a partner is a lot easier than practicing alone. Just saying. Alone, you can get the basic steps. With a partner, things just make more sense haha.

Mm, I'm trying to talk to some people in my class when we're dancing. Some are conversational. Some are nice. And some just don't seem to give a shit. I don't know if it's me or if it's because it's the second week of school. I hope it's the latter. I want to make friends. C'mon, people, work with me here T_T I'm so alone in that class. I mean, Cody Jackson isn't even there anymore. I don't think any of the students who wanted to add got in :/ Sucks 'cause one of them was really cool. Though, I thought she was already in the class -shrug-

Should I try harder to talk to people? The thought still scares me: starting conversations with strangers. I've done it before, and I'm sure I could do it again. Successfully. It's just I don't like it when people look at me like I'm too weird to talk to :( Makes me feel even sadder than I already do.


Mm, so I haven't had any homework except for lots of reading. It's relaxing in a way, but I'm worried about when the profs start assigning essays. Not sure how prepared I'll be. Oh, and yay. I'm taking the WST (Writing Skills Test) on the 26th. Fun stuff. I hope I pass. It would suck if I didn't. But even if I pass, I still can't take upper division courses. Grr. We'll see how I work this all out in the future. I just hope I can deal. I feel like stress is just gonna jump out of nowhere and strangle me to death. Not a good feeling. It's almost like paranoia.


Edit: I forgot to mention that Tuan had called me last night, and I called him back today. He offered me a job. I asked him what the company was called. He gave me the same answers Maria gave me back in January. Is this what the company trains you to do? Avoid giving direct answers to questions. While I was on the light rail home with Amy, Michelle R, and Anthony(?), I had like a six-minute argument with Tuan on the phone about why I don't like direct marketing, MLMs, and the idea of working for Usana. Why this company is not compatible with me is that you need the motivation to sell and recruit. I can't without qualms sell expensive health products and recruit friends into a business where the potential for failure is higher than it is in a job where you have a set wage. I would choose a wage over commissions any day. And although MLMs aren't always a Ponzi scheme, there are some parallels between the scheme and the structure of MLMs. I don't like that risk. Besides, I am definitely not entertained by the idea of selling fucking expensive products to people, especially during a recession (even though it's slowly getting better).

I don't think I would ever go into business. It's just not in my nature :P haha.

USANA? MLM? What a tiring day.

So today, my friend Maria, whom I hadn't seen in 6 or so years, picked me up at 7 in the morning to take me to a gathering of her coworkers and such. It was for me to get a feel for the possible job opportunity. Last night, I asked her what her job was, but she was very vague about it. So I decided just to go check it out, even though I had to wear my MUN clothes -__-

I dislike formality. So much. Oh, there was a lot of handshaking at the meeting/presentation(?). Handshakes are cool, but -gasp- hugs would've been better :O Who woulda thunk I'd ever say that? But anyway I don't think hugs go well with formality -_- Hah, I'll take the hugs and casualty over the handshakes and formality any day :P Jk. It's casualness, not casualty. Heh, I was just thinking about a singer who mixed up that word.

So I'm not gonna go into detail. I go into detail about other things. I don't feel like it today. My shoulder hurts from sitting for almost 6-7 hours straight. Surprisingly, I'm not that tired though. Just sore.

Anyway, what was I gonna say? Oh, USANA. That's the corporation that Maria works for. I had no idea what it was. I had heard of it from people, but I didn't really know anything about it. I was surprised to learn that it was a Multi-level Marketing company. Not particularly what I would want to be a part of. Why? Because one of the reasons I want a job is to get out of the house a little more haha.

But I paid attention to the many speakers. There were a few successful USANA folks and Jennifer Azzi (Google her. I'm not much of a pro ball fan to explain who she is). The president of the company was there too. That's why it took so long haha. It was interesting, to say the least, but I'm really not that fond of MLMs. I like hands-on work more. Shocking to hear that from myself haha. And I don't like selling things. That's so upfront and close to the consumers. The consumers scare me. But, in general, I don't like the business field or the like. I like the behind-the-scenes work more. Maybe, a stage hand :O Haha no. I don't know :P

Anyway, as hilarious as the speakers were, I couldn't help but feel a cult-like feeling in the air haha. Or maybe I should say family-like. Yeah, family sounds better. Very lively audience. Loud too. They replied to questions in unison. It was strange. So much more energetic and fervent (I don't know if those are the right words) than a high school pep rally or even a gathering of Key Clubbers high off of pixie stix and feelings of good will :O That's very shocking, imho.

I dunno. I guess I'd say they're all very supportive of each other, which is a good aspect of working with the company. But seriously, really not fond of MLMs. You never know when they're fooling you XP USANA may be one of the few companies that doesn't do that, but I don't know for sure.

Oh, I remember the not-very-PC (haha....) president said something about people not knowing what they want to do and always focusing on the negative. Or maybe it was someone else. Anyway, he/she said those people don't attract business. I don't feel positive. I mean, I'm glad this work works for some people. I don't know what I'm saying anymore haha. I would just prefer to stay away from home-based delivery services XP

If people wanna do it, they can do it. I don't think I want to. I might check it out some more, but I don't feel like it's the thing I want to do. At least not now. I want a different experience. Sales, I don't like sales. I try to stay away from sales XP Especially when products are so expensive. I wouldn't pay all that money for that stuff. I know my mom would. I think she did once with USANA. She stopped because it was so expensive.

I don't think I know many people if any who would pay for multivitamins and other dietary supplements. I know people who want jobs. If they wanna do this, they can. I won't stop them.

Ok, I totally forgot where I was going with this stuff. Mm.

I'll just say I'm eating healthier now than I did in years past. Well, when I eat anyway. I still forget to eat, but it's not as bad as it was before. I think. Since I'm not on the desktop almost 12 hours a day anymore, I remember to eat :)

But anyway, what I'm trying to get at is I don't feel like dietary supplements are necessary. True, we might not get all the nutrients we need from what we eat. But that doesn't really kill people as long as they get enough of most. Obviously, I'm not saying we should just ignore our nutritional needs. I just don't feel like spending a lot of money of this stuff that is supposed to help us and is allegedly sold by people who want to help people. Yeah, I know, some do really have the good intention of helping consumers by selling the products. But if you're trying to help consumers and make them healthier, why the hell are the products so expensive?

I don't know. I don't really have a head for value of any product. I can't even tell you how much a pack of gum costs anymore. It's just the numbers scare me. And if the numbers scare me, I don't wanna be putting those numbers in front of other people's faces -shrug- I'm weak in that way haha.


Ooh, I think I've really only been spending time on the computer typing these entries and responding to Myspace and Facebook comments. I don't even go on AIM much. Or I log on, but I'm away more often. And I'm actually away from the computer most of the time. Or I'm doing this :P

I should feel proud of myself. But right now I don't really care haha.

Yeah, I know, the last bit was not related. But I jump topics too easily and don't really defend what I'm saying (not well anyway). But people love me anyway :D Haha just kidding. But it's kinda true though: I am so frickin' lovable! :3