I can't be a spendthrift.

It's not in my blood.

I wonder how much money my family would have saved over the years if Mother wasn't religious or superstitious. I think it would be well into the thousands. Add in all the money she has spent on clothes, accessories, and jewelry she didn't need. Plus other unnecessary, aesthetic-related things. We would have had tens of thousands to spend on food, rent, and maybe even a family vacation here and there.

I know I'm not innocent either. I've spent money on things I didn't need. Movies, concerts, dance clubs, expensive food, Anime Expo, mini trips to other cities in California, random knickknacks that I ended up giving/throwing away years later, books that I read once. Mainly food that I don't need to eat.

The difference between Mother and me is that I know I waste money on things I don't need, so I try to cut back. She won't acknowledge that she's spent so much money on unnecessary things because she wanted to have the perfect image. Instead of spending that money on things we needed like a car or insurance or bills. And she always blamed someone else for the debt. I mean, yeah, Brother has given us debt. But so has Mother. But she won't take responsibility. It's always "But I needed that." Who needs jewelry to live? Who needs expensive clothing or accessories that are only worn once or twice? Why spend money on things you don't want to use because you're afraid people will think you're rich and rob you?

I want to move out and make my own living. So I can spend my money the way I want to spend it. Just so I know and I can prove that I'm not like Mother and Brother. I'm not gonna be buying new toys and accessories every other week. I don't need that stuff. It's so much clutter =___= And that's just annoying.

If I had a say in what to keep or throw out of this house, we would probably have less than half the things we currently own. Alas, I don't; so all this clutter is just going to annoy me until I move out. All this clutter will continue to be a reminder of how wasteful of our money we are. We can't save anything. We used to save a lot. I don't know what happened.

So annoyed.