Make-up

I don't wear make-up. I don't like wearing make-up. I have worn make-up.

I used to think I was really unattractive. I mean, why else would people bully me when I was younger, yeah? Now that I'm older, I have come to learn that sometimes people bully others just because they can to make themselves feel better about themselves. So I know what I looked like didn't really have much to do with the bullying. I probably just looked like a weak and easy target. Anyway, at this point in my life, I don't necessarily think I'm attractive or beautiful. But I don't think I'm that bad-looking. If anything, I could pass for cute haha.

I have never wanted to wear make-up, even when I thought I was ugly. I didn't think make-up would help me. I also didn't want to feel like make-up was the only reason people would find me attractive. Plus, my skin likes to breathe and feel air... So I just accepted my not-pretty-ness and moved on with it.

I think I've worn make-up a handful of times in my entire life. A couple of times when I was a kid. My mom got me dressed up for Tet, Vietnamese New Year. There are photos. Actually, there are photos of me every time I've worn make-up. Hmm, I've only worn make-up because my mom made me do so.

I wore make-up for Junior Ball, my senior portrait, and Senior Ball. My mom wouldn't let me go to any of these unless I put on make-up. I didn't enjoy it, but I did it because I didn't want to miss out on my cliché high school experiences.

I don't really remember why I wanted to write about this. Just thoughts to get down, I guess.

Anyway, I realize that, on a shallow level, while I tend to find myself more physically attracted to femme women, I don't know if I would want to date someone who wears make-up often. I just want to be able to feel my partner's skin without gunk in the way haha. Natural beauty all the way :3 It just seems more real. I dunno how to explain it.

Just thinking back on all the people I've found myself interested in, I noticed that the people who kept my interest the longest did not wear make-up much if at all. In fact, they've been relatively in between masculine and feminine. I think they fit with me personality-wise better than the more feminine women I've been into.

Ugh, my brain is all over the place. I can't stick to the topic long enough to type my thoughts out. Blah.

Ultimately, all that surface stuff doesn't matter much. But I know my preferences. But they're just preferences. I can live with or without them.


Rawr. This is one of the worst blog entries I've written... Cannot make thoughts work haha. May revisit this topic in the future when thoughts work properly.

Anyway, time for a four-day weekend :D