Car troubles

We, as people, are so attached to material possessions. Especially newly bought items.

A new car. A new scratch on your new car? No, that means the end of the world.

If someone scratches your car, how would you feel? Mother would feel like it was a personal attack on her. Maybe it was.

How would I feel? I wouldn't even notice the scratch. Someone would have to point it out to me. Even then, I wouldn't react. I'd acknowledge the damage and continue driving the car.

It's a car. You take care of it as best as you can. If stuff happens to it, you deal with it when it happens. You don't become too scared to drive your car anywhere ever again. It would be a pointless car if it wasn't driven.


I'm irritated. My car is supposed to be my car. Except I'm getting in trouble for the little bits of damage that happen to it. Why? I'm not complaining. And it's supposed to be my car. It's not Mother's car. She's not the one who has to drive it. She doesn't even have to look at the car. Still, I get in trouble for the damages that aren't important. Scratches don't destroy the car's ability to function.

They should have listened to me when I said I just wanted a car that works well and doesn't have to look amazing on the outside. No, they should have listened to me when I said I didn't want a car. They should have listened when I said all I wanted was to be able to get myself to places. That didn't mean I needed a car. I explained that to them, but they wouldn't listen to me. They just had to let me walk, bike, take the bus or light rail, or just figure out some way to get to places. But no, they wouldn't let me. They wanted me to have a car.

So I have a car, which I am grateful for. I'm also grateful for the gas money and all the repairs my family has paid for. What I'm not grateful for are the "I told you you shouldn't have bought this car," "You're a terrible driver, but you have to drive me where I want to go," "You're destroying your car," "Don't take your car out. I'll drive you instead," "Don't drive your friends. Oh, but drive me," "Don't waste gas, but drive me here, here, and all the way over here," and all that crap.

I'm complaining. I'll stop. I just wish she'd stop criticizing me and blaming me for everything. Or making me feel like she's blaming me or making me feel like everything's my fault. Because I'm starting to believe it.