Last-minute, miscellaneous thoughts for 2017

I've been sounding like a broken record all year, but I have to reiterate how lucky I feel to have the caring, helpful, and generous friends I have. They're enablers, but I am so appreciative of all the love they share.

I thought I was going to break my tradition of raving at the end of the year because of my budget. Matt is not even in town, but he got me a ticket for Kaskade's open-to-close set tomorrow night. I used the last of my 2017 budget to pay Matt back what I could for a portion of the ticket. This guy, what did I do to deserve him?

And I guess my NYE raving tradition is slightly broken? The show is on the 30th rather than the 31st. So I'll party it up tomorrow night and then have a lowkey NYE night with a few friends who also decided not to rave into the new year :) Yay, I won't be alone!

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In the past 4.5 years, I went from 0 to 60 really quickly. My high school and college years were mellow. I barely knew what partying was; I couldn't afford to know what it was haha. I started letting loose a little in 2013 and going out more and more frequently. At some point, I was going out just about every weekend. At the end of 2016, I decided I needed to rein it in to save money and to try other things; so I put some restrictions on myself for 2017. I still went out on some weekends, but monetary limits kept me mindful. I think I've even returned to my 2013 levels of partying haha. Not bad.

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2017 has been a challenging year in ways I didn't foresee, but it has been filled with many wonderful new adventures, lessons, and changes. I am so grateful for all the friends that supported me through the lows and cheered me on during the highs. I probably wouldn't have survived this year with my mind intact without all of them.

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I always look forward to the end of the year because it feels like an accomplishment to reach it. Even though, I know it's such an arbitrary thing to care about. All the things that happened this year have shaped me into someone who is different from who I was a year ago. I'm more anxious and worried. I have to constantly train myself to trust. But I'm also more appreciative. I'm much more aware. I'm finding a new balance in my life. I try harder to not take time and people for granted.

I just hope I remember to keep this going. I got to the end of 2017 in one piece; I can keep going.

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2018 will bring in new challenges; I hope I can ready myself for them, and I hope I've learned enough not to make the same mistakes I've made before.

I probably won't travel as much as I did this year, which wasn't that much anyway. Maybe two or three trips. We'll see how things pan out.

I hope I find the courage to step out of my comfort zone again. Enough to make a more positive impact on others.