April Fool's!

So life has been ok lately. Been getting some work done every day this Spring Break. Have not hung out with anyone. But I've been talking to Shiva online and stuff, so that's good. Also been organizing my music stuff. Have less than 300 songs left to go through. Been downloading a lot of songs that I've been wanting to get. Not done with that sadly.


So on Facebook last night, Shiva wanted to do an April Fool's joke. I was a little hesitant at first, but I agreed to join in. Hence, the Facebook breakup and subsequent argument on her relationship status. She broke up with me because I'm clingy and too high maintenance basically, always wanting to talk to her and keep her to myself. Not letting her talk to her friends. I, on the other hand, feel like she's abandoning me and not paying enough attention.

So far, a few of my friends have made small comments on my status, and one friend sent me a message in support. Alex A from high school doesn't believe it XD but that's just 'cause he can't read the 'argument' on Shiva's status. For the most part, I don't think many people responded to mine because it was late, people just didn't notice, or they didn't believe it XD

On Shiva's end, a few of her friends are supporting her, which is good :) I'm happy to know she's got friends to back her up, even if they don't know the whole story and are only assuming things from the one short argument. It's good to have friends to support you :) Though, I am very sad that two people like the breakup ;-; unless they realized it was a joke and liked it for that reason XP

But anyway, just so we're clear here, we have not broken up and are not intending to. The argument is based on a bit of reality, but I won't tell you which part of the argument nor which of reality.

So I'm a bit afraid of saying April Fool's haha <_<; Because quite a few people believe it and might have strong feelings about it. Especially if they recently broke up with someone for similar reasons >_< That kinda makes me feel bad. Last night, as Shiva and I were 'arguing,' our hearts were racing or beating hella hard haha. I cannot be a practical joker of any kind because I feel too guilty XD Cannot lie very well about this kinda stuff.

Btw, I do kinda agree with Rochelle's comment on Shiva's status--I dunno why it made me think of a hotel. Friends and lovers are on a similar level. But it really depends on the person, his/her friends, and the lover(s).
It could be like you have a few rooms on the same floor. A few friends go in one room, a few go in another, and so on. Your love gets his or her own separate room.
Another way of doing it would be like people staying on different floors.
Everyone could be in the same room, and there's no difference between your friends and your lover(s).
There are just many ways you could treat your many relationships in comparison to each other.

But yeah, just wanted to put this down somewhere. Just so whoever reads this knows I am not that clingy and high maintenance. Or at least I hope I'm not >_> And I was hoping people would know Shiva (and maybe me) well enough to know that she wouldn't argue over Facebook for everyone to see -_-

I can understand Shiva's friends having that opinion of me because they don't know me and all.

Overall, it was too easy to convince some people because they don't know us.


Btw, does the Internet make everything believable?

Spring Break '11

Such a rainy day yesterday was. I went to my classes and to Q&A. Tried to help Shiva pack stuff for her flight home. Slept over. I fell asleep, thus making Shiva fall asleep. Woke up early this morning. Well, I woke up a few times to check my watch. For some reason, I was afraid our alarms wouldn't go off and Shiva would miss her flight. Alarm went off at 7h30 and every five minutes after. Finally got up around 7h55. Continued packing and stuff. Rushed. Flight was at 10h10. Tried to finish by 8h30. Then tried to finish by 9h00. Could not. Called Marian L for a ride >_> Shiva got to the airport twenty minutes early. Sad, we could have had more time together ;-;

Afterward, Marian was driving me toward campus. Then to Costco, but it wasn't open yet. So we went to Office Depot (didn't buy anything) and Trader Joe's. Then back to campus. Chilled for a lil bit in her room, talking. Then she kicked me out XD She had to go meet with friends in Milpitas. I called Mother to see if I should take the light rail home. No, instead, I waited at Hoover Hall for her to come pick me up. Took about half an hour.

Bought In N Out for Brother. Mother ran errands. Then finally home and food around 13h30. Texted Shiva to find out if she had gotten home yet. She had been home for a while. She forgot about me ): haha jk, she forgot to call me because she was exploring her new house.

Then I tried to do some homework (That was the plan for today), but I couldn't focus much. I focused enough to print something out XD Then I went to my room to organize some papers. Then started watching "Watchmen." Shiva texted me, and I stopped watching the movie. What I've watched so far... I'm not that impressed <_< It's an interesting movie, but the acting is kinda lacking, I think.


But anyway, I haven't really done much else today. Except eat quite a bit. I'm about to eat now XD

Oh, I'm sad that my Spring Break starts when many other people's end :( But I hope to get out of the house at least once this next week. Otherwise, I'll be a reclusive, good student and get my homework done. And maybe catch up with/stay ahead of my papers and stuff <_<

Hm. Yeah. Ok. My brain feels dead now -_- But I shall finish some assignment tonight!

What an uneventful Spring Break...

But filled with thoughtful contemplation. Yay, redundancy.


Haven't done much of interest all week ):

Haven't gone anywhere outside of the house unless I had to drive Mother or Brother somewhere.

Haven't gotten started on my essays. I was going to start today, but Mother had me drive her to Walgreen's so that we could H1N1 shots -__- Then drive to other places. When we got home, I didn't feel like doing anything anymore.

I ended up watching "The Invention of Lying." Awesome movie. 8/10. I love Ricky Gervais' movies, even if he plays the same kinda character in all of them :P The saddest scene in this movie was my favorite XP I cried with him.

Anyway, the movie makes me wonder how the world would be if everyone always told the truth. Never lie. Don't know how to lie. That would be interesting. According to the movie, you can't lie by omission either. That's how I usually lie XP So hm, scary. Sad, isn't it? Complete honesty is scary.

Makes me think some things. Hm. I need to ask questions. But I suppose it's gonna make people look at me like O_o Oh well.

I wonder how difficult it will be to tell people what I've lied to them about...


Oh, Wednesday, I finally decided on my major/minor. Major in Justice Studies and minor in Philosophy. You think that will work out for me? I'm not sure. Then again, I'm never sure about anything XP Not my education, my love life, not my possibilities, nothing hahaha..

But yeah, Justice Studies and Philosophy. I was originally thinking of majoring in Philosophy, but I don't know what I would do with that. Don't think Mother would be too happy with that either. Though, I'm sure she won't be happy with Justice Studies either. She still wants me to go into Nursing. But I won't because I don't want to be around sick people >_>

So JS, yeah. I've always liked law and the legal system in some way or another. Maybe because Brother has had a few run-ins with the system since he was in high school :P

Philosophy, well, you know me and my philosophical talks :P haha jk. I dunno, I'm not sure how much I'll like it after a couple of courses :P Structure, you know. I don't like structure all that much.

Haha I like routine, but I dislike structure. Does that even make sense? I dunno.

Anyway, seriously, what do you think? 'Cause I'm not sure what I should think of my choice (haha so much for making decisive decisions).


So really, I haven't done anything really interesting all week. So sad. Haven't even seen Robert yet D: Maybe we'll have to put it off till summer XP Tamales and lessons, hm. Would go tomorrow or on the weekend, but it seems Robert will be preoccupied with tennis and WonderCon.


Hmm, some other thing on my mind... Phone conversations... You already know. I say it so often. I hate talking on the phone. Or strongly dislike it. I don't really know why. I just don't like it. The longest conversation I've ever had on the phone with someone (other than customer service, which has lasted more than two hours) was Ryan T back in like senior year of high school. An hour and a half. Why? Because I had said on Myspace or Facebook that I wanted to talk to someone and he decided to call me from SD. That was really the only talk-just-to-talk phone conversation I had ever had.

The second longest phone conversation I had was with Kat the summer before senior year. Twenty minutes talking about what classes she should take haha. Third longest phone conversation was the eight-minute one I had with Shiva last week.

Yeah, "long" phone conversations happen so rarely to me that I can remember with whom I have had them so far. Typically, my phone calls don't last any more than four minutes. And those are always for directions and invitations. But now, most people just text me 'cause they know I don't like talking on the phone all that much. Really, does anyone call me just to talk? Do people do that? I don't XP

So don't expect me to call you unless I have to. Like if you don't have unlimited texting. I especially do not call for casual conversation. I'm sad like that, I know. Every time I've had a casual phone conversation with you, it was always you who called me, yeah? Yeah. Mother and Brother do that too. I never call them unless I needed a ride or an answer to a question.

If I ever call you just to talk, you'll know something's up, yeah?

Haha I wonder sometimes why I have a cell phone :P And then I remember all those times I was forgotten on campus in middle and high school and I had to walk home for an hour and a half or longer. Yeah, fond memories. Cell phone, necessary and essential? Probably. Sadly.


Hm, lately, my dreams have been... weird... Not exactly recurring. Happen like every other day. Always a different setting. But pretty much the same or similar things happening. Makes me wonder if I'm obsessing so much when I'm conscious that it also haunts me in my sleep.

My sleep is so off, but my dreams are quite consistent @_@ well, every other day (I've lost track of the days on which they've occurred). The dreams I have in between are just the usual, seemingly irrelevant, sometimes whacked-out ones. You know, surprisingly, the somewhat recurring ones are sooo not crazy. Well, I suppose that would depend on how you look at them, if you knew what they were.

I dunno. They're "normal," as in nothing crazy like murder or naked people are in it haha. Different people show up and different things occur, but the main focus(?) of the dreams is always the same. Just always mellow(?). Comforting, even. But also disheartening in a way. Leave me wanting more, wanting real. Make me feel kinda pathetic and disappointed in myself when I wake up haha.


Aiyah, I'm so tired. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through college with such a low level of energy haha.

What do you think will motivate me to do better, try harder? To just try? 'Cause I just don't know right now.

Wanting but not trying. Needing but not asking...

I think my sleep-deprived brain is losing sense tonight haha. Not thinking straight anymore. Never thinking straight.

Feeling... numb. My house is kinda cold. It's 49 degrees. Wow, and all I'm wearing are PJ bottoms and a t-shirt. Time to go cuddle up with my blanket and stuffed dog XP