What an uneventful Spring Break...

But filled with thoughtful contemplation. Yay, redundancy.


Haven't done much of interest all week ):

Haven't gone anywhere outside of the house unless I had to drive Mother or Brother somewhere.

Haven't gotten started on my essays. I was going to start today, but Mother had me drive her to Walgreen's so that we could H1N1 shots -__- Then drive to other places. When we got home, I didn't feel like doing anything anymore.

I ended up watching "The Invention of Lying." Awesome movie. 8/10. I love Ricky Gervais' movies, even if he plays the same kinda character in all of them :P The saddest scene in this movie was my favorite XP I cried with him.

Anyway, the movie makes me wonder how the world would be if everyone always told the truth. Never lie. Don't know how to lie. That would be interesting. According to the movie, you can't lie by omission either. That's how I usually lie XP So hm, scary. Sad, isn't it? Complete honesty is scary.

Makes me think some things. Hm. I need to ask questions. But I suppose it's gonna make people look at me like O_o Oh well.

I wonder how difficult it will be to tell people what I've lied to them about...


Oh, Wednesday, I finally decided on my major/minor. Major in Justice Studies and minor in Philosophy. You think that will work out for me? I'm not sure. Then again, I'm never sure about anything XP Not my education, my love life, not my possibilities, nothing hahaha..

But yeah, Justice Studies and Philosophy. I was originally thinking of majoring in Philosophy, but I don't know what I would do with that. Don't think Mother would be too happy with that either. Though, I'm sure she won't be happy with Justice Studies either. She still wants me to go into Nursing. But I won't because I don't want to be around sick people >_>

So JS, yeah. I've always liked law and the legal system in some way or another. Maybe because Brother has had a few run-ins with the system since he was in high school :P

Philosophy, well, you know me and my philosophical talks :P haha jk. I dunno, I'm not sure how much I'll like it after a couple of courses :P Structure, you know. I don't like structure all that much.

Haha I like routine, but I dislike structure. Does that even make sense? I dunno.

Anyway, seriously, what do you think? 'Cause I'm not sure what I should think of my choice (haha so much for making decisive decisions).


So really, I haven't done anything really interesting all week. So sad. Haven't even seen Robert yet D: Maybe we'll have to put it off till summer XP Tamales and lessons, hm. Would go tomorrow or on the weekend, but it seems Robert will be preoccupied with tennis and WonderCon.


Hmm, some other thing on my mind... Phone conversations... You already know. I say it so often. I hate talking on the phone. Or strongly dislike it. I don't really know why. I just don't like it. The longest conversation I've ever had on the phone with someone (other than customer service, which has lasted more than two hours) was Ryan T back in like senior year of high school. An hour and a half. Why? Because I had said on Myspace or Facebook that I wanted to talk to someone and he decided to call me from SD. That was really the only talk-just-to-talk phone conversation I had ever had.

The second longest phone conversation I had was with Kat the summer before senior year. Twenty minutes talking about what classes she should take haha. Third longest phone conversation was the eight-minute one I had with Shiva last week.

Yeah, "long" phone conversations happen so rarely to me that I can remember with whom I have had them so far. Typically, my phone calls don't last any more than four minutes. And those are always for directions and invitations. But now, most people just text me 'cause they know I don't like talking on the phone all that much. Really, does anyone call me just to talk? Do people do that? I don't XP

So don't expect me to call you unless I have to. Like if you don't have unlimited texting. I especially do not call for casual conversation. I'm sad like that, I know. Every time I've had a casual phone conversation with you, it was always you who called me, yeah? Yeah. Mother and Brother do that too. I never call them unless I needed a ride or an answer to a question.

If I ever call you just to talk, you'll know something's up, yeah?

Haha I wonder sometimes why I have a cell phone :P And then I remember all those times I was forgotten on campus in middle and high school and I had to walk home for an hour and a half or longer. Yeah, fond memories. Cell phone, necessary and essential? Probably. Sadly.


Hm, lately, my dreams have been... weird... Not exactly recurring. Happen like every other day. Always a different setting. But pretty much the same or similar things happening. Makes me wonder if I'm obsessing so much when I'm conscious that it also haunts me in my sleep.

My sleep is so off, but my dreams are quite consistent @_@ well, every other day (I've lost track of the days on which they've occurred). The dreams I have in between are just the usual, seemingly irrelevant, sometimes whacked-out ones. You know, surprisingly, the somewhat recurring ones are sooo not crazy. Well, I suppose that would depend on how you look at them, if you knew what they were.

I dunno. They're "normal," as in nothing crazy like murder or naked people are in it haha. Different people show up and different things occur, but the main focus(?) of the dreams is always the same. Just always mellow(?). Comforting, even. But also disheartening in a way. Leave me wanting more, wanting real. Make me feel kinda pathetic and disappointed in myself when I wake up haha.


Aiyah, I'm so tired. I don't know how I'm gonna make it through college with such a low level of energy haha.

What do you think will motivate me to do better, try harder? To just try? 'Cause I just don't know right now.

Wanting but not trying. Needing but not asking...

I think my sleep-deprived brain is losing sense tonight haha. Not thinking straight anymore. Never thinking straight.

Feeling... numb. My house is kinda cold. It's 49 degrees. Wow, and all I'm wearing are PJ bottoms and a t-shirt. Time to go cuddle up with my blanket and stuffed dog XP