My voice keeps cracking and disappearing...

I went home pretty late yesterday (Wednesday, since now it is officially Thursday morning). Got home at like 23h20.

It seems that for the past two weeks, I've just been going to class. Or not. And chillin'. Though, I guess that's how my semester's been going. But I dunno, past couple of days have been nice....


Anyway, today, my voice was dying/dead. This was the closest I've ever been to really losing my voice. I could speak at times, but I couldn't for most of the day. Had to whisper often.

Ooh, I went to the Q&A meeting today. It's only been two weeks since I had last seen most of the members, but they were all excited to see me again hahaha.

Mm, so I might go to the bonfire in Santa Cruz next weekend. We'll see what happens. But if anyone wants to go, lemme know. Also, Q&A Conference in Berkeley at the end of the month :D I hope I can go to that one. Don't know if I can yet. Must ask Mother.

Though, I think all this is quite a bit of stuff. Don't think Mother will be too happy about it all.


Hm, what else, what else? Oh, so I spent yesterday hanging out with the same two people I'm usually with while on campus haha. Watched anime. Had our regular battles of poking and tickling O_o (I still don't know why we do that. I don't know why I partake. It is soo not in my character to do so. Or it wasn't -_-).

Anyway, after Brian left, Shiva and I just napped on the couch for like an hour or so. She took up most of the couch. I had my lil bit of space or whatever to sit on haha. I think I slept with my head at an awkward angle 'cause my neck hurt the few times I woke up.

That would have been an overall good nap if I hadn't dreamed about anything. Sad dream ): Don't want to remember it, but I will. I suppose it parallels dreams I've mentioned before -shrug- I woke up with tears streaming down my cheeks -_-

And then Mother called and asked me when I was coming home. Not any time soon. Never any time soon.

Ahh, I was having such a nice day XP My brain just had to go and make itself sad. My subconscious worries me sometimes haha.


Anyway, I should go to bed. No point to this entry. Though, I do want to say I've been feeling a lil bit better than the "ok" and "all right" I usually feel, despite coughing my lungs out, being deaf in one ear, and losing my speaking abilities haha. Past week or so has been relatively chillax. I'm kinda stressing about school stuff, but in the end I'm not really all that caring about any of it.

Almost like apathy. Like how I used to feel.

Almost. So close. But I'm still caring about other things and people -sigh- but that's ok. Just means I'm still human haha. Just don't know where my priorities are at. I suppose I need help figuring out what I need or want. But, you know me, I can't ask for help.

So much more on my mind. But I need to get some more sleep.

Btw, you need to lemme know when you're back in SJ, so we can chill and catch up again -shrug- and plan schtuff for the summer, yeah? Yeaah.