I just want to get to know someone. I want to feel a connection. One I haven't felt in a long while.

I want to hold someone. Even more so, I want to be held.

But I'm fine waiting. Even if I feel lonely sometimes. Despite the moments of loneliness, I'm actually still pretty happy.

I'm not desperate for a connection. I just think it would be nice to have that in my life.

Yeah, I'm connected to people. Family. Friends. But sometimes I think about how I want more.

I don't know if I'm waiting for it. Or maybe I see potential connections, but I'm just not going after them.

I've always been the person to go after it. To pursue it. I guess I'm kinda tired of having to run after it. Or feeling like I'm the only one who wants it. Like I'm the one who has to prove she's deserving of that connection. Good enough for it.

Or maybe I just put myself into that position. Or that mindset.

I'm tired--that's not the right word, but I can't think of anything better--of being the person who has to convince someone else to give her a chance. I want to be convinced too. I want to know what it feels like to talk to someone who thinks I'm interesting enough to get to know better, who thinks I'm amazing enough to figure out if we vibe well together, and who thinks I'm charming enough to try to convince me to give them a chance.

At least that's what I think, feel, and do when I realize I'm really into someone. I just want to know what it's like from the other end.

But I've settled with the thought that that probably won't happen. It kinda saddens me, but I'm okay with it. I've accepted it.

I'm probably too picky to let that happen anyway :P

The chase is fun sometimes though. At least when I'm less self-conscious and more self-confident >.> It happens haha.