Shiva's Graduation Ceremonies (May 26)

Yesterday, Shiva had two mini graduation ceremonies in the Student Union: Sociology Graduation and Rainbow Graduation.

I took pictures and videos with her camera; I am such a bad cameraperson haha--shaky hands and whatnot.

At the Sociology ceremony, Shiva and I could see each other from where we both sat. She sat in the second-to-last row of graduates. I sat in the first row behind the graduates with a mother to my left and two white guys to my right. I wish I had more guts or something, so that I could tell those guys to be respectful, shut up, or leave.

When one of the student speakers went up to give his speech, the two guys snickered and laughed because "he sounds so gay." Later on, when the graduate walked the stage, the two guys looked at each other and laughed again, saying "It's the gay guy." I don't fucking get them. I don't even know why they were there. They didn't clap for anyone. Instead, they seemed to have spent most of the ceremony texting, listening to their iPods, talking to each other, and laughing at a few of the graduates who walked the stage. Grr.

But otherwise, the graduation was fun. I got to clap for Shiva and a few other friends (I think I will know many more graduates at next year's ceremony).

So when the graduates walked across the stage, Prof Boero read their names and other info that they had written on a little card, like their double major, minor, honors, and such. I had seen what Shiva wrote on her card before I went to get my seat. Future plans: "Law school, gazillionaire, community action." Sounds good. But when Shiva went across the stage and I was recording what Boero was saying, I realized that Shiva had added some stuff to her card. She thanked her family and me specifically o_o I didn't know how to react >_> <_< >_>

The reception afterward had some food. Cake, brownies, egg rolls, samosas, fruit, water, and lemonade. Took pictures of Shiva with her professors and fellow students.

Went back to Shiva's room to upload photos from her camera, so that there would be memory for the next ceremony, Rainbow Grad.

Got to Rainbow Graduation on time. Met up with Harrison, Marian, and Brian (late!). Talked to people and noticed that Shiva was the only one in her graduation gown XD Luis and Shiva gave speeches :) I liked them.

Graduates were then called up one by one--there were only nine graduates, but only eight attended, I think--and allowed two-minute speeches. Shiva thanked me again <_< but this time, she got to explain why haha :3

There was also cake at this celebration. There were lots of photos being taken throughout the ceremony. Oh, Luis and Shiva shared the knife to cut the cake, but somehow did not cut the cake. Instead, the knife plopped through it :P Such tasty cake. There were also samosas and fruit here, as well as spanakopita, quiches, and punch.

It was nice seeing Jeff and Tri again :) Hadn't seen either of them since my first semester or year in QTIP and Q&A. Got to say some goodbyes to people whom I might not see again, at least for a while.

After Rainbow grad, Shiva and I stood outside the door to the English graduation ceremony. We were attempting to get Shiva's friend's attention, which we eventually managed to do :)

Then it was back to Shiva's room to start making enchiladas. Bulk enchiladas, yay! Marian came to help. Harrison helped too. We kept making them while guests were there. I think we stopped after the third batch. Happy to know people liked the food.

A few of the guests also accidentally ate food that was not for the party. They felt bad, but it was ok. They didn't finish off the food haha. Well, except for the samoa cookies, which had been placed out of the way. Someone found them and ate her last cookie ):

Other people who showed up were Michelle W, Steven P, Jen (Steven's friend), Christina(?), Karishma, Crystal, Danny V, Melissa(?), Cathy, Rahul, Ton, Evelyn H, Phil and Killol (both late). Adan and his friend came in for like five seconds and then left. Tim W and his roommate Tim also came for a while :P Michelle brought John--he talked about smoking weed quite a bit O_o

The night was going pretty well. Then a moment of tension arose. One guest trying to spread a rumor/story about another guest who had left. Shiva stepped up and told the guest not to disrespect other people, even if he didn't like them or didn't think they were good people. Treating someone the same way they treat you doesn't make you any better than them. This incident just kinda dampened the party atmosphere a little. A few people left, including the particular guest. Then the atmosphere got cheerful again. Phil kept taking pictures of people XD

I started falling asleep. How sad. I think Phil made fun of me, but I don't remember -_- Something about my neck.

Anyway, the party was fun. Though, Shiva feels like she should have held it on Saturday because a couple of the people who had wanted the party on Thursday didn't show up :/ But I think the party was pretty good anyway...


Ahaha, on Wednesday, Shiva went home with me on the light rail at night. Sad she wasn't feeling well. I told her she should have stayed home -_- But anyway, when I had gotten home and she was taking the light rail back to campus, she called to tell me about something that happened just a bit before she called XD A guy on the light rail had been staring at her the whole time. Then he walked toward her and tossed/dropped a piece of paper near her and left without saying a word. Shiva opened the paper. It said something like "Hi, I think you're cute... :) Uh... Idk, text me ###-###-####." Shiva wanted to burst out laughing apparently. When she told me the story, I laughed XP I also wish I could have been there to watch this happen. Seems the guy looked like he was in high school and was really shy/nervous or something like that haha. Awww XD


Ok, that's all I'm gonna say now. Shiva wants me to go to bed because she has two more graduation ceremonies tomorrow. One at 9h30 and the other at 13h00. I have to wake up early to get to campus, so that I can get a ride from her parents. Though, it seems at least one of her parents may not be too fond of me <_<;
[Shiva had dinner with her parents and sensei tonight. At one point in the conversation, Shiva mentioned how she thanked me during the sociology ceremony. The reaction wasn't completely pleasant(?).]

Midterm Season and Various Other Things

So it's that time of the semester. Yay o_o Shiva and I had a 8-page take-home midterm for Social Change due on Wednesday (She also had another 6-page midterm to write for the same prof but different class). Needless to say, we didn't get that much sleep the night/morning before it was due. Hella stressful, especially for Shiva ): I'm sorry I couldn't make it any easier.

I had my Global Society midterm today. Because of the take-home midterm, I rested for most of Wednesday after class. Didn't get to study much for the next midterm. So sad. When I took it, I couldn't recall information. Or I'd confuse different programs with each other (like SAPs, GATT, and WTO). Friggin' multiple choice stuff. The essay was all right, though I know mixed things up (four ways workers experience alienation in capitalism, according to Marx). Oh well, I tried.

So today has been an interesting day...

Around noon, after SOCI 105 and 104, I followed Shiva to Clark Hall because she had helped an Anthrolopolgy prof set up an LGBTQ speaker panel. Mackenzie L, Crystal N, and Shiva were supposed to be the speakers. I was supposed to just sit in and watch. But Crystal completely forgot about it--she didn't even remember volunteering for it. So I stepped in, nervously. But the panel wasn't that bad. I mean I was probably blushing with nervousness the whole time and had a fast heart rate for the majority of the class time. But I survived. A few silent moments. But the class asked intelligent and varied questions, ranging from polyamory to religion to unisex restrooms. Mackenzie seemed to talk the most. I think Shiva spoke a lot too. I spoke the least XD

But yeah, that was fun. Tomorrow, there's another panel for the same prof. At 10h00. I'm probably going to that one too, but hopefully, just sitting in this time XP Well, maybe.

Anyway, when I was waiting at the light rail stop to go home, I met a guy named Jesus (It's Spanish, just in case you didn't know). I had actually met him last week at the same place, but I didn't talk to him much then. I wasn't much in the mood to talk to him then. Today, I had seen him in the morning walking to campus from the light rail, but I didn't say hi. But when we were both going home, we talked on the light rail about music and random things. Interesting guy. Reminds me of Harrison. A few of his mannerisms and how he speaks are somewhat similar to Harrison's haha. When I first saw him, I thought he was related to Harrison. And you know it's a coincidence that I met him at the light rail stop, whereas I ran into Harrison on the light rail. Similarities haha.

Anyway, Jesus is a freshman, though he's apparently 20 years old. I can't get over how much he reminds me of Harrison. But I'm sure if I keep talking to him at the light rail or wherever, he'll start to seem more different from Harrison :P But yeah, new light rail buddy? Maybe.

Hmm, so... Oh yeah, Jesus' name reminds me that there were "Jesus freaks" standing in front of the light rail stop, shouting at people to follow Jesus Christ. But they left a few minutes after I arrived. Seems they may have been there for a while.

Anyway, that was today. I'm extremely tired, but I want to try to get some things done before I try to go to sleep early. Need to wake up early tomorrow to get to campus.


So, the past ten days have been up and down, I guess. Lots of stress from the midterms. Other stressors too. I can't quite recall what's happened lately. It's scary how fast the weeks are passing by. Already done with Week 8 of the semester.

I feel like my brain is forgetting more and more. But maybe it's because I haven't gotten very good sleep in a while. Staying up too late -nods-


Mm, so yesterday, in Social Change, we watched a documentary about the Civil Rights movement. I forgot what the video was called. But it was a heart-wrenching video. Ended it at King's assassination. Made me really sad.

I followed Shiva to her Sexualities class. We watched another documentary, "Dreamworlds 3: Desire, Sex, & Power in Music Video." Disturbing. Truly disturbing. It makes me glad I don't watch music videos anymore, even though that means I might miss out on really good videos. But yeah, anyway, after the video, Prof Rokni challenged the males in the room to stand up to and educate other men on the issue of objectification of the female body. If you get the chance, I recommend this documentary. It is informative about what's prevalent in pop culture, primarily music, and offers puzzle pieces for you to put together, not just a bunch of facts and theories.


Uhh, I can't remember what else I wanted to say ):

So here are the upcoming events and stuff that I remember:
SJSU Spring Break--officially March 28 to April 1 (really, it's the 25th to the 3rd)
Holi Day (Indian celebration)--April 9
Drag Show--April 14
QACON @ UC Berkeley--April 29 to May 1 (Friday to Sunday)
Gender Bender Dance (lesson?)--TBD
Q&A Panel--TBD


Next week, I've got an SPSS assignment, an annotated bibliography, social change art presentation, and plenty of reading that is due or that I need to do. Fun. Hopefully getting a lot of it done this weekend.

Shiva is gonna be busy for most of tomorrow ): But I'll see her during the panel and during her one-hour break in between meetings and stuff. In the meantime, I'll probably be working on stuff and going to the Superior Court downtown because I need to postpone my jury duty. First time I've ever gotten a summons. So exciting. I wanna do jury duty, just not during the semester. But yeah, need to ask questions about what I should do and stuff. After all that, Harrison is gonna stop by campus to pick us up to go to Ikea for an "Ikea party" as he calls it. Apparently, we're going to cram into his SUV with his other friends. Fun.

Mm, so Shiva's gonna be gone for most of Saturday because she's going to a Kendo tournament in San Mateo. I probably won't be going with her. I wanna work on stuff. I'll see her after she comes back though. Harrison and Michelle W want to go get pizza Saturday night.

Sunday, Mother is going on another tour of Buddhist temples for the whole day (Did I mention the first time she went on the tour a few weeks ago?). So I have a dilemma. I want to stay at Shiva's place, but I also need to be home on Sunday to "guard the house." What shall I do? ):


Mm... Yeah, I think that is all I can muster out of my brain right now. So sad.

Bastardization of a Bastardization...

So today, when I was on the light rail, going home from campus at about 18h00, I was standing, listening to my music and staring out the windows. Two guys, one white and the other Hispanic, had gotten on the light rail at the same time I did. They were probably in their 20's. The white guy, wearing a black and white bandanna, was sitting at the three-seated wheelchair-access area, and the Hispanic guy, wearing a polo shirt that was too big for him, was standing. They were talking to each other really loudly, so much so that I could hear them through my music. It was like they're talking for everyone around them to hear.

As I made a mental note of how loudly they were speaking, despite not actually listening to their words, I saw a black gentleman, maybe in his late 30's or early 40's, who was wearing gloves and had been sitting near the two guys, stand up from his seat. He turned around and said, "Would you stop using that word?" The guys stared at him in disbelief.

At this point, I paused my music to listen. (Note: Obviously, I'm not gonna get all the words correct from the event, but most of the important words were used. H is the Hispanic male, and B is the black male.)

H: "What word?"
B: "That word you keep throwing around. 'Nigga.' It's disrespectful."
H: "Man, I wasn't talking to you. Mind your own business. It's a free country. I can say whatever I want."
B: "But it's a disrespectful word. You shouldn't be saying it."
H: "But I'm not saying 'nig-GER.' I'm saying 'nig-GA.' They're different! You shouldn't be fucking offended! I said 'nigga,' not 'nigger.' Besides, you shouldn't be listening to other people's conversations!"
B: "It doesn't matter how you say it. It's disrespectful! And I asked you to stop saying that word!"
H: "Uh huh. You know, black people say 'nigga' all the time! You probably don't think that's wrong!"
B: "No. It doesn't matter what shade of skin you have. It's a disrespectful word! You should educate yourself!"
H: "Yeah, well, it's a free country! I can say whatever the fuck I want! You can't stop me!"

At this point, I was just listening, not really thinking anything of the argument. But I was afraid a fight might break out because the black gentleman asked them to escort themselves out at the next stop. But the guys said, "What the fuck? Hell naw." The gentleman continued to say, "Let's take this outside!" But the guys didn't budge. The white guy even said, "Go fuck yourself! I don't gotta get off at the next stop. You get off." The gentleman's response: "What did you say? All right! Step outside! Step outside!" He even stood in the doorway as the doors closed, waiting for the other two to get off. But they didn't, so he stepped back in.

As they continued arguing, a light rail security officer stepped on. The males were still arguing, and the gentleman then told the officer what happened, hoping the officer could make the two guys stop saying "nigga." The guys yelled at the gentleman, continuing to say, "Oh, shut up! It's a free country, man!" After some more arguing, the officer, who was also black, asked the black gentleman to step away and walk to the other end of the car. So the gentleman picked up his stuff and went to stand next to me. As he was walking over, he yelled back, "Ignorant idiots!"

With the distance between them, there was less yelling but still a few back-and-forth's. The gentleman talked to another light rail rider, who agreed that the other two were ignorant and disrespectful. Meanwhile, the white guy just sat there, smiling in disbelief, and the Hispanic guy was glaring at the black gentleman. The Hispanic even started talking to a girl who was standing near him, asking her what she thought about him saying "nigga." She agreed with him, saying, "Well, as long as you weren't saying it in a bad way. Like, how did you say it? Did you say it the bad way?" He replied, "No! I said, 'Nigga!' This asshole's just making a big deal out of it."

Finally, we got to the stop that the two guys were getting off at. They got off, as well as the security officer who had been on his walkie-talkie since the gentleman complained to him. As the two passed by the door closest to me and the gentleman, the Hispanic guy turned his head, glared at the gentleman, and yelled loudly, "Nigger!"

We all stopped in shock. I noticed the security guard following them, talking on his walkie-talkie. The gentleman yelled back, "Oh, come back in here and say that to my face!" Of course, no one came back in. He then said, "Look at that. He didn't dare say that when he was in here with me. But now that he's walking away, he thinks he can say that to me."

One of the other riders, a white male in his 20's, commented on the Hispanic guy's racial epithet: "Oh, hell no. Hell no! That's fucked up. I can't believe he said that. Fuck him. Man, you totally have my support. I mean if he had tried to start something, I would have been on your side." The black gentleman thanked him for that and sat down, still angry about what had just happened...

I just stared out the windows again.


Sorry for the lacking descriptors. The individual items (bandanna, shirt, and gloves) were the only things I really noticed on the three males. There were also many more expletives than I used in my retelling of the event, but I think it suffices. And the reason why I call the black man a gentleman is, though he was angry and was raising his voice, he didn't swear, act all haughty, or call anyone names other than "ignorant idiots," which I hardly find offensive (maybe just insulting to a person's intelligence). He was much calmer too. The other two really were disrespectful and vulgar in their language.

At first, I agreed with both parties. I agreed that it would be disrespectful of anyone to say, "Nigga," if someone stated that they found it disrespectful. And I kinda agreed with the Hispanic guy. First Amendment and stuff <_< Though I didn't like him saying any variation of "nigger," I thought he had the right to say it. But I also thought it would have been a nice gesture to stop saying the word too, at least around the gentleman. But when the Hispanic guy yelled "Nigger!" I just thought, "Well, fuck him. He just threw away support he might have gotten from anyone."


So, I tend to not care too much about racism, or just prejudice in general. It mostly doesn't affect me. Until I start thinking about all the different kinds of friends I have. But usually, stuff like that doesn't faze me too much.

This was also the first time I had ever witnessed a heated argument relating to race. Usually, I just see it in movies, TV shows, or some kinda media. This, however, was right in my face. And, like I said, I was afraid a fight might break out. So I got my pepper spray from my backpack, just in case a fight got started and it got too close to me or something >_>; Scary.

But yeah, no one got hurt. Just a lot of bad language and inconsiderateness.


The title of my entry was just something I was thinking after the argument ended. Bastardization of language. One word is a bastardized form of a word from another language. And the other word is just a bastardized form of the word that's already bastardized O_O But the latter is also debatable. Some people don't think so; "nigga" is just people's chance to take back the power of the word -shrug- I dunno.

I don't think it works too well.

Hip Hop midterm tomorrow

For which I do not need to prepare XP

But I went to campus around 15h00 to chill with Shiva 'cause I really needed to get out of the f'n house. And hip hop was an excuse.

Did some online reading for Sociology. Shiva and I talked. She practiced for hip hop. I "helped." I'm sure I spent most of the time laughing at her though :P PB&J sandwiches. Listened to some of my music, trying to avoid sad songs. More dancing. Tiredness, a lot of it on my part. I felt like my head kept rolling to the side. At least I wasn't falling asleep on my bike, hm.

Shiva and I fought for my iPod at one point because I wanted to listen to "Wedding Dress" by TaeYang. Why couldn't I listen to it? T-T It's such a good song. Who cares if it brings back some memories?

Anyway, for hip hop, I've got the choreo in my head. I know how the moves are supposed to look. I just don't stay on beat very well when I'm being watched >_> It's a lil unnerving.

Mm, that was all fun. Oh yeah, Shiva's starting to hug me again >_< I'm being conditioned. Like Pavlov's dog. No, not really. It's not classical conditioning. There's no bell. And there's no reward or joy associated with the hugs XP haha jk jk. But yeah, apparently, I can't leave until I hug her now -_- Why can't I just stand there, receive the hug, and go? It's so simple. Why must I actively return the hug to leave? Mm.


Anyway, light rail. Oh, light rail people. Really? You worry me sometimes.

So I got to the San Antonio just in time for the light rail. I got on. I was gonna sit in the bike area with my bike because no one was there. But this Indian guy grabbed my bike and offered to put it on the rack for me. I said, "No, thank you." But he wouldn't listen. And he couldn't get the bike up because it was heavy and he was kinda short. I told him that he didn't have to put my bike up, that he could just put it back down. But he kept trying. Eventually, I decided to help him put it up.

We got it up. I thanked him. Then he continued to talk to me (I couldn't really understand his accent all that well). About bike riding. Being the nice person that I am, I listened. He used to ride his bike to the light rail last year. Then he lost his bike. But he used to ride his bike everywhere in India (specifically New Delhi) and here. He wants to ride a motorcycle. (At this point, he sits down on the seat next to me and shakes my hand) His name is Carry. He's 32 years old. He's single and lives alone. He's been in America for one and a half years. He has business partners, and their company works for Fortune 500 companies. If I gave him my number, he could hook me up with jobs O_o

He asked if I took the light rail every day. He said he would look forward to seeing me on the light rail every day. We could share lunches >_> He could find a basket for my bike at the flea market for cheap. Mm hmm.

Throughout this whole conversation, all I could do was grin and nod. I went along with the conversation because initially I thought the guy was joking around. Then he asked for my phone number, but I told him I didn't have a cell phone. So he gave me his number >_> Told me to call him when I wanted to talk business. He'll give me a job, and I'll get him a job when I graduate O_o

His stop was at Capitol. Just before he got off the light rail, he offered a parting handshake. Again, being nice, I shook his hand. As we were shaking, his left arm came around me and pulled me in for what I thought was going to be a hug (because I've met strangers who hug on first meetings. Strange but true). Instead, he kissed my cheek @_@ and then he was off. It happened so quick that I didn't even have time to react.

Yeah, eh. That last part reminded me of the DirecTV guy from a few years ago -_- Do you remember who I'm talking about? Well, I felt the same way today as I did that day. Except that today, the feeling came after the re-running of the incident in my head.

Brother really needs to get me that pocketknife or pepper spray soon >_<

But yeah, I raced home from the light rail. Scrubbed my hands and face with soap. Now, I'm good.

I am not good at dealing with people. Strangers. People. You just never know what kinda person you're gonna talk to. They can appear to be so nice at first, and then shit happens. Ugh.


You, you know who you are, my experiences don't even compare to yours, but I know how you feel -_- We're magnets. It's scary. But at least now you have someone to protect you :) That's good. I wish I had someone to protect me -_- hahaha. Aiyah..

Ugh, why am I so timid? So easily manipulated, so easily taken advantage of. It's pathetic. I'm pathetic. Ugh.

From now on, gotta keep the damn headphones on. That was the method. Why did I stray from the method?

I feel like I need help now.. Ahhh..

J'ai mal...

J'ai mal a la tete. J'ai mal au dos. J'ai mal au genou. But today went pretty well haha. And because my head hurts, I'm pretty sure this entry won't focus on anything really.


I participated in Shiva's hip hop dance class today. Just went over the basic warm-up. Included stretches, isolations, and basic tutting. We did the arm wave and the body wave. Fun stuff. Though, the lunges totally messed up my leg D:

It still hurts. More than usual.

I think I remember all the stuff from warm-ups, though I'm sure I'm not remembering them in the correct order haha.

I kept on beat in the class, though I just forgot which steps we were doing XP Taking Social Dance helped me learn how to fake knowing what I'm doing on the dance floor though haha.

So I think if I just keep showing up to the class, the instructor may not realize I'm not actually in the class. Well, until midterms and stuff :P

There was something I was gonna say about the class, but now I've forgotten it D:

Also, you think Ariane would be proud of me? hahaha :P I think she would be. She's the one who started dancing for real. She also said she saw her crew on an ep of ABDC :D I shall watch the season when it's over. Actually, I'll have to watch the fourth season before that, even though Alex D said it sucked.

Sorry, off on a tangent. Hip hop, hmm. If I start liking this class, I might end up going to Infinity to take lessons from Krisuan, VIPSJ's director guy. Haha probably not, but it's an idea.


Anyway, Financial Aid check came today. Woot. Money into the bank of Mother. What would I do with $3000 anyway?

Oh yeah, Mother got a letter from DMV. She must renew her license. The letter says she has to retake the driving test :O She freaked out. I'm sure she's still freaking out now. If she has to retake the driving test, I hope she passes. I do not want to drive her around any more than I do now -_-

And I really want the rainy season to end, so that I can ride my bike. Mother was not home today when I got off the light rail at 17h30. Had to wait half an hour. I would normally walk home, but it was dark and my clothes weren't very bright. Cars could have run me over D: So I waited. Since no one was around, I started dancing :P Anything to keep my mind from wandering too far haha.

Oh, when I was standing in the light rail, there was a guy, who sat down next to another dude and started talking to the dude and digging for gold -_- Suffices to say that I'm glad I decided not to sit down. I stood on my spot and looked out the window, listening to music.


And you know, surprisingly, French class passes really quickly. I didn't think it would. Actually, my days are passing quickly. Even though, I'm more tired than ever, and I've got much more reading to do this semester -_- My recreational reading is being delayed D: And I'm already kinda falling behind on homework >_> Not really my fault. The Sociology website won't work at home for some odd reason. I should bring Mother's laptop to school to see if the website will open there.

Oh, tomorrow, I think I shall take the language assessment in Clark Hall. Should also go see Prof Doi during his office hours. AAS requirement for this semester: meet with one of the profs during the first two weeks of school just to talk. Supposed to be a way for the profs to get to know their many many students.

So yeah, I think I will try to do everything tomorrow, including my Sociology stuff. So tired, will I remember everything I should do? I hope so. Oh, I should remember to eat. I should not refuse to eat. I just never feel like eating when I should. Would explain why I'm so much more tired than usual. At least I'm drinking water XP

OK, time to read, then sleep. And do whatever else I need to do.

Oh, et demain, je vais assister au club de kendo. Peut-etre. Nous allons voir :P Man, my French is way rusty.

Don't ride the light rail. They're listening >_> <_< >_>

So I took the light rail home with Amy, Christine, and Chris. We were talking about college and how lucky and grateful we are that we can go to college because we can pay for it (or, in my case, the government does). I expressed some guilt for getting financial aid while many others don't (because I don't even know if I want to be in college). We also talked about people who take their chances in life for granted. Or, more negatively, make so many mistakes that you must wonder what the hell is going through their head that would make them do stupid things.

Sitting in front of us, a blonde woman in her 30's or 40's turns around to "lecture" us. At first, we were confused because we didn't know what she was saying or to whom she was speaking. Then we realized she was talking to us, even though she wasn't facing us. I thought she was mad at us because we were talking about how lucky we were to be in college or something like that. I started to feel guilty because she said she and a lot of other people never got to go to college. However, the reason she never got to go to college was because they (don't know who "they" are, maybe the government) kidnapped her thirty times and relocated her to different camps or institutions around the country. She remembered one place in Utah. Some hospital. She recited the name of the place, but I don't remember. I was too busy being confused.

She rambled on about how she had to teach many different people (especially this one girl who was taken because no one "claimed her as their sister") how to escape from those camps because she had so much experience.

"Watch what you say. Say what you want to say. But don't say it in public."
"Don't have these conversations on the bus or the light rail."
"You think people don't hear you, but they hear you. They listen to your conversations."
"They can just take a microphone out of their ear and record everything you say."
"There are people who won't like what you say, and they'll take you. They'll just yank you right out and throw you into one of those [places]."
"I said my passport [password?] out loud twice. Twice. They took me and put me in a [place]."

I don't know what she actually called those places. I thought she was saying "cyborgs," but that doesn't make any sense. Not that anything she said really made sense. All I know is that she was scolding and warning us. And she wanted to save us from the same fate she has.

Seriously, at first, it sounded like she was angry at us for either having the chance to go to college or for talking about people who waste their chances. Then she just rambled.

Oh, when one red-headed guy was getting off the light rail, the woman pointed him out and said something about him texting. "See, you and your text messaging. They could follow you..." The guy just had a O_o look on his face and left.

Amy, Christine, Chris, and I just sat there. Quiet. They were texting people. I had to listen. Then, as Christine got off the light rail, I realized that I would be the last person in our group to get off the light rail. I didn't want to stay near the woman alone. So I asked Amy via unsent text if I could get a ride from her haha.

So when we got off at Snell, the woman also got off the light rail haha. What luck. Oh well. We walked slowly behind her so that she could move away from us first.

And yeah, yay for weird light rail strangers.

I don't know about the others, but I think that she's got some screws loose. Or, I don't know, someone dared her to be eccentric on the light rail.


Yeah, so today was interesting, to say the least. Other than the light rail lady, not much happened today.

AAS is as long as usual. I finished half a crossword puzzle in class haha.

In social dance, we worked on the turns, crossovers, and chases. We combined them. A little confused at first, but then I got the hang of it. Oh, and I'm going to revise my previous statement about the girls in my class: All but one (maybe two others) are comfortable dancing with me. I say this because after we finished practicing, she kinda pushed me away. When you let go of someone, you just kinda let your hands drop, yeah? She kinda just shoved my arms away as they were dropping. Of course, it could have been accidental, but she's the one who won't make small talk with me haha.

If she doesn't want to dance with me, I won't be offended. I think I'd prefer if she just say so. But eh, we're such a "nice" society.

Anyway, I'm kinda getting better. I can do the steps alone pretty well haha. With a partner, it's hit or miss. I succeeded with maybe six partners. The rest tended to step ahead of the beat. Some forget that I'm supposed to lead them. They turn and cross before I give them the signals because they're going early with the beat count rather than following my lead -_- But it's ok, we have weeks to improve. When there are no more beat counts, they'll have to follow better. And I'll hopefully be a better leader by then.


Mm, what else today? I went with Amy to Nob Hill haha. She bought brownie mix, icing, and a Thank-You card. Oh, and a beef stick. I can't say that with a straight face. That's why I call 'em Slim Jims.

So that's all. I really just wanted to update about the light rail lady haha. What a memory. Maybe I'll use it as an educational tale one day in the future. Include the story about the "PCP lady" from the Expo trip back in 2005 haha, yeaah. Fun stuff.

Sickness is a great weight-loss program.

NOT -__-

Today, when I came home, I was going to take a nap, but then I started thinking about how sick people usually lose a lot of weight when they're really sick. I didn't think I lost that much (maybe 2 or 3 pounds less), but I decided to weigh myself just to make sure.

I had just eaten, and I only weighed 102.2 lbs. I lost a little over seven pounds in less than a week :(

I've been trying really hard to stay in the healthy weight range. I usually border underweight. But now I am underweight T-T And I'm still not completely better yet. But I just have to get better and eat more.


Mm, and I wish my headache would go away. I'm trying to get my homework started and finished, but it's really difficult to concentrate. I think I'll just work on my Poli Sci speech tonight. Then spend the next two nights working on my Poli Sci final paper. Then spend the rest of the week on my English essay, EDCO journal, EDCO resumes/cover letter, and whatever else my professors decide to throw at me. Aahh. I'm so tired from just thinking about everything I have to cram in just because I'm sick -_-

Just one more week of classes. One more. Get the finals out of the way, and then Albert, Lisa, and I will visit ST :D

Must look forward to something because this next week is going to be torture. Not regular school torture, but sick-and-still-working torture. I usually don't have to deal with that because I only get sick during breaks. But this time, I missed summer break by two weeks. Damn. And I'm going to be a little pissed if I get completely better right after finals end -_- What timing that would be.


Anyway, what else? What else? I should get a haircut. My hair is now too long on top haha. And I feel naked without my favorite baseball cap :( And my headphones mess up the top of my hair because the hair is too long XP haha. So... (headphones - cap) + haircut = less messy hair.

Oh, and I went home on the light rail with Lisa and Amy G. We sat down, and a homeless guy sat down behind us. Then it started to smell really bad where we sat :x I looked at Amy because she was right next to me. And we laughed because the smell was really, really bad. And we knew where the smell was coming from, but we didn't really say anything about it. Amy asked me, "You're thinking what I'm thinking, right?" And I nodded and smiled. Lisa, who was sitting in the seats in front of us, asked us if we smelled something bad, and we just said, "Yeah." That was it. We dealt with it. Then the guy left, and we could breathe better.

Mind you, we weren't laughing at the guy. We were just laughing at the smell because it was really horrible. And I don't know why, but there seemed to be quite a few strange people on the light rail today. There was a guy a little ways down the aisle who was kinda schizophrenic. And I think some lady was just sitting there, staring at us most of the time O_o but you know it could just be my imagination.


Hmm, anyway, this summer, hopefully, Lisa and Amy remember to invite me to ST for a jog around the track haha. They want to exercise. I want to exercise. Exercising with friends would make it easier, yeah? Yeah! Ok.

Mm, I should really get started on my speech stuff. I hope I do well enough. Ahh. So much work. So much stress. I don't think the stress is helping me recuperate >_< Grr.

Today was a good day...

There were two things I wanted to talk about, but I only remember one of them :( Oh well.

Today, I had my Anthropology and EDCO classes. They're ok so far.

The thing I like about this semester is that I know at least one person in 3 of my classes. There's Melissa in English; Jessica (from my acting class first semester), Austin, Michelle Renwick, Lorenzo (from Comm 20), and another guy (from my Eng 1A class), in Anthropology; and Albert and Lisa (as well as Jessica Ingram and Mario, Monica DeLeon's boyfriend), in EDCO. It's just in my Political Science class that I lack any connection.

Anyway, that's not really what I was gonna talk about. I wanted to say today was a good day for me because I ran into so many friends today (ok, more like "more so than often").

After EDCO let out, Albert, Lisa, and I decided to just walk around and check out VSA (all the clubs and frats/sororities are advertising this week). Along the way, we ran into some of their friends. Signed the VSA emailing list. Checked out one of the dance classes in the Spartan Complex. Walked to the food court. Ran into Jenny Lee on the way. Invited her along. Sat outside at a table. Rose passed by, and I invited her to the table. Long conversations with everybody about many different but hilarious things. I saw Teresa (from acting class) pass by, but she couldn't hear me -_- Then I saw Kim Ruiz. Long time, no see haha.

Oh yeah, my mom had called me around 12:45 to go home for my dentist appointment at 3:30. So I left with Rose. But first, she took me to the Art building so she could see her acrylic painting from last semester on the wall haha.

Also, 2 co-ed fraternities invited us to rush. I pass by these guys all the time; they never invite me to pledge or anything. Must have been because Rose was there haha and she was holding onto my arm so I had to be there too :P

The 1st frat that talked to us was Alpha Phi Omega. Focused on community service. That's pretty cool. But their info meetings are at night; not sure my mother would be too pleased with that.

The 2nd frat was Chi Pi Sigma, a criminal justice frat. That's pretty awesome too. After we listened to and left the guy, I heard him say he was done trying to recruit people haha. Not the best attitude to be recruiting anybody XP

Anyway, I kinda like the idea of frats and sororities, but I don't think they're for me. I wouldn't mind trying, I suppose, but I think I have commitment problems haha. I like that these kinds of groups build up a support and social network for their members. I just don't know if I would be able to stick to everything they do.

And if I joined one, I think I have to move into their house, yeah? That wouldn't work out very well because if I move out of the family household now, my mom would have to move as well. Into a small apartment. With the huge load of stuff that we have in our current and cramped living space. So even if I wanted to join a frat or whatever, I couldn't do that to my mom. We need the space.


I need better things to do. I need hobbies. Hopefully, I can stick with at least VSA. Or another club. School and home every day has been a fine routine, but I need some more variety. At least for the semester. Well, because of today, I know that I have at least 3 or 4 friends to chill with after class on Mondays and Wednesdays. Should find people for Tuesdays and Thursdays haha.


Mm, so Rose and I took the light rail home. Talked about her social life. Boyfriend and ex-boyfriends. Drama, drama. Then she asked me how I would feel if my ex did something, and I had to remind her that I don't have any ex's. No experience, remember? Haha.

Anyway, she got off the light rail at Snell, and I started listening to my music. But then a guy (in his late 30's or early 40's) asked me about my headphones and then about school. Talked to him until our stop. He wanted to get headphones for work (he works in a cubicle). He had heard Bose was amazing, so he was asking for my opinion. And yes, Bose is good, reduced noise and all. So the guy's taking 3 or 4 classes. And his English class is kicking his ass haha. He's probably going to drop it. He's gonna go for his teaching credentials. He wants to become one of those multi-subject K-8 teachers. I wished him luck haha.

Conversations with strangers on the light rail (or bus). Not bad. Just be careful. Watch yourself and others. That's all. Other than that, enjoy the conversation.


Hmm, my dentist appointment. It was either my yearly or semi-annually teeth cleaning. Painful. Seriously, very painful. I went deaf at times, had tears in my eyes, and tasted the bitterness of the pain. But I guess it's ok, you know, if my teeth are plaque-free, for now.

And yes, when I feel pain, I associate it with a taste in my mouth. I don't know why. I just taste something when I get hurt. Not a literal taste, but something close, maybe. Like, when I bump the top or back of my head, I taste bitterness. I don't know how to explain it. It's like the pain feels bitter. Now, I'm not even sure if the taste is "in" my mouth anymore haha.

Ok, enough nonsense. I've got homework that's not due, but it's what I should do. I might :P