I'm not allowed to be a Good Samaritan

So I had to drive Mother around today.

When we were leaving CVS, a guy reversed into a shopping cart that had toppled over. So I ran over to pull the cart away from his car because I was really close and thought I should help. When I was running to the cart, Mother yelled out my name. I didn't know why, but I didn't stop. After the cart was out of the way, the guy thanked me and got back in his car.

Mother then yelled at me for helping him out. She called me a fuckin' idiot. In Vietnamese, of course. I'm not supposed to help people in public. I'm not even allowed to help someone who tripped or dropped their stuff. Why? Because they will sue me.

Fuck that. I'll help if I want to help. If people act like bitches about it, fuck it, whatever. Shit happens.

If that had been my car that hit the shopping cart, I would have liked to have someone help me out a little.

Man, people can be crappy in this world. We're so fucked if we can't trust people to appreciate our help. Yeah, I've heard the stories about people suing good samaritans for accidentally injuring them or something like that. But, c'mon, we can't go around ignoring people when they need some assistance just because we're scared. If you witness a major car accident, you should stop to help if you can. I would. My mom wouldn't. She's driven away from other people's car accidents before. She'd come home and tell me all about it. I never even bother to ask if she even called 911 for them or anything because I know she wouldn't.

Hah, and she's the one who complains about how our neighbors don't even talk to us or help us out. If everybody's got her attitude, how would anyone cooperate?

So, anyway, yeah, she bitched at me in the car. I was pissed because I thought she would be happy about me being thoughtful. Instead, I got called an idiot and a bunch of other shit I can't translate.

Then I had to go pick up my brother. Freeway line was long, so I thought I'd stick to the main roads. Wrong choice. As soon as I switched out of the long ass line, Mother bitches at me even more, again calling me a fuckin' idiot for leaving the long ass line. Traffic on the main roads is just as bad, so there was no point. How the fuck am I supposed to know? I don't drive in East Side all that often.

So, at that point, I couldn't handle it anymore and started crying. Of course, it was silent 'cause she would have bitched at me even more for being a little crying bitch. She made me do a U-turn and get on the freeway. And as soon as we're on the freeway, Brother calls and says that he has to work an extra shift so we don't need to pick him up anymore. Fuuck. I got bitched at for nothing.


I think I should find a good job and move the fuck out. I can't handle my family anymore. Seriously, I wish all these years with them could toughen me up and make me immune to anger. But I think they just made me weaker. I always feel like shit when they're around now. Always. I'm not even overstating anything. Every time they're around, I feel like crap, like I can't do shit right, like I'm not good enough.

When I'm around friends or strangers, I just feel inferior, and that's ok haha. When I'm around my mom or my brother, I feel like nothing, like I shouldn't be here.

I have a love-hate relationship with my family, and I don't think that's right. But like I said before, there is no such thing as unconditional love. Unfortunately, we're just too fucked up for that. Or I am, I don't know.