I was left behind...

in a dream this afternoon :(

Driving, I was following Kat, Alex D, Jeisun, Ariane, Maggie, and a few other people to an airport. They were all wearing summer clothes and carrying luggage. I was wearing sweats and holding my hockey stick. When we were at the airport, I didn't know why we were there or why I followed them. Then it hit me. I asked them if they were going to Expo 2010. They said yes. "But it's May. Isn't it supposed to be in July?" "Yes, usually it is, but this year they changed it. They had planned to push it back to September, but people wanted it to happen earlier." D: I was devastated because I didn't know. Someone asked, "Sorry, we forgot to invite you. Do you still wanna go with us?" I thought about it. Of course I wanted to go. There were people in SoCal that I wanted to visit (Faces actually appeared in my dream mind, and those people really do live in SoCal). But we were an hour away from my house. No time to get a plane ticket, pack, and get on the plane. So I said, "It's too late.. You guys have fun." I looked at my hockey stick, swung it a little, and then walked back to my car, feeling sad that I couldn't go.

This was one of those rare dreams, in which I felt like I could think. When I woke up, I almost cried. It felt so real. But I quickly realized that it's still December. Mm...


Anyway, today, I took my AAS final at 0715. 20 mulitple choice with a bonus for spelling "Afghanistan" correctly and four (out of six) short essay questions. I think I only got two of the four essays right :/ I finished around 0845. Headed over to Shiva's to print out my Philosophy one-page final paper (Last night, my ink had dried out on the last two lines of the paper -_-). Got my paper, thanked Shiva, wished luck on finals, and left. Turned in my paper at the Philosophy Center/Office/whatever it's called.

Then I spent more than two and a half hours sitting at a bench. Thinking. Or actually, not thinking. What a change. I didn't think much about anything today. Must have been because of the two hours of restless sleep I got this morning. Went to bed around 0100 after I finished my paper. Couldn't fall asleep until 0300. Woke up at 0445. Light rail at 0600 in the morning, very empty. I like it. I might go that early again tomorrow. Though, if I wanna ride the light rail with Lisa, I should probably leave later. Eh -shrug-

Anyway, though I spent most of my time on the bench not thinking and just watching a guy clear out the leaves on the walkways for two hours, the very little thinking I did was interesting, I s'pose. I thought about how little I thought haha. I didn't know what to think about. Oh, there were a lot of little kids on campus today. Field trips. First graders. So many lil kids, scary -_-

My mind was/is really blank today. I can't recall much of anything that I did think about. I can't even remember what Lisa and I were talking about when she drove me home ):


Mm, unimportant stuff: I downgraded my AIM from 7.1 to 6.9. I gave AIM 7 a chance for a few weeks, but it just doesn't appeal to me. Though AIM 6.9 isn't all that great either, it's a lil better than 7. Well, I'm just saying that because I got used to it for several months. 7 just had too many changes. Too much. Mm, with AIM 6, I can use the Music Link plugin again too. It's been a long time since I've used that. A few people used it yesterday, and it brought back memories :) So yeah, I think I'll just use that as my AIM statuses from now on or something. I'll learn to not be compulsive about changing statuses so often. I need to obsess about it less haha.

I still can't get over how dead AIM is now. For me anyway. I talk to like six people. And I don't really have regular conversation with any of them. Mm. The other 29 people on the list are usually not online or always away. They have lives haha. I need to find a life (I feel like I've said this before). I should just forget AIM, but I have those letting-go issues XP and sometimes, someone wants to talk to me. I guess I just want people to want to talk to me more, but I'm not really doing anything about it. Really, I just don't know what to say :P I just want people to talk, so I have someone to listen to.

I just want to listen.


-sigh- I'm still tired, even though I took like a four-hour nap, during which I had the dream. I might actually go to bed early tonight. Hope for a good dream, for restful sleep. Though, I haven't had restful sleep for a long while now. Blahh...

My dreams lately, whatever I can remember, have been weird. They feel related, but I don't know how they relate. They just feel like it. I dunno what I'm trying to say now. My head is really heavy and just... not good. Egh, I'm not good with words right now. It makes me worried about my Philosophy paper XP


Ok, one more final tomorrow morning. I might sit at a bench again. I don't know yet. I'll probably finish the Physics final in half an hour. I seriously don't think it will take me too long. Maybe I'll just wait for Lisa. Maybe I'll just walk around. I don't know. I don't wanna go home early. Though, I should just so I can sleep. Meh. Mm, most likely will visit ST on Wednesday with Lisa, Albert, and Robert. Might be Mole Day. Well, at least for Vokt's class. Don't know about Worden's.


I need to think about next semester. Going home after dark for the first two months of the semester. Not sure the bike thing will go well at all with Mother. Maybe in the second half, after Daylight Savings Time starts. Mm, long school days. Should try to fill in my days with eventful or productive things. Might not be seeing or hanging out with the same people I had this semester :( That thought saddens me. Seriously.


akjdljfadljkjf My head is just blaahhh right now. The thinking's coming back. Must mean I'm lucid again. You know, now that I'm thinking, I realize I don't need to bring my backpack tomorrow. Just a pencil and a scantron. But ah, I'll bring my backpack anyway. I'm lame like that haha. Hm, I hope I can focus on some reading tomorrow. I still haven't finished Forever Odd. Want to start Brother Odd soon. Want to find the fourth installment in the series. Then maybe find Koontz's new Breathless. I saw it in Barnes & Nobles on Friday. Also, Shiva told me I should read Brave New World. Hm, I've heard about the novel. I'm kinda surprised none of my high school teachers had it as required reading. Every other student I know seems to have read it.


Eh, I don't know if there's anything I want to say, but I don't want to end this entry :/ Must be something more... I guess not.