"If you leave, then baby I'll leave..."

Playing "Until It Kills" by Midtown...



I had so much to say this morning. Now, I don't remember anything.

I woke up at 05h30 again, but I almost couldn't get out of bed this morning -_- All the walking and hiking yesterday totally drained me. But I managed to get up by 07h00.

While I was awake in bed, I thought about things. Dreams. Ugh, my dream this morning suuucked..

Basically, I dreamed about a friend leaving T-T She was packing all her things and walking away. I stopped her in the hallway and asked her why she was leaving. She stopped, looked at me for a few seconds, put a hand on my arm, smiled, and then continued walking away. I just stood there and watched her leave.

But for some reason, I feel like my dream actually ended when she smiled at me. Hm. And I woke up with tears in my eyes again -__- These sad dreams are making me not want to go to sleep anymore.

I don't know what's up with my dreams lately. Not liking them much at all. What is going on in my braaaiin? Ahhh...

I had another dream, I think. Driving a big ass SUV from the second row of seats O_o On the freeway. Next to a tour bus that wanted to run me off the road. I managed to survive, but all my passengers disappeared :O They left me because they thought I would kill them. Even though, I wasn't being a reckless driver. The bus guy was :/ And that's all I remember from that dream.

I'm inconsistent, but my dreams feel very consistent(?). I think my subconscious is trying to tell me something >_> What? I have no idea, nor do I really want to figure it out. No matter how simple it may be. I just want my dreams to go back to being happy or neutral dreams.


Ooh, I think I'm gonna start putting down what song I'm listening to at the start and end of each entry. I'm sure it would help me remember what my mood was or something. Eh, maybe I won't do the music thing. Hm. Maybe sometimes. I dunno. I'm just wasting time haha.

Must find consistent things to do. I want to be consistent. Why do I feel so inconsistent?


Mm, have to do stuff for Mother today. I can't hang out with Jamila before she leaves :( This saddens me. Stupid car stuff -_-



Playing "IfULeave" by Musiq Soulchild Ft. Mary J Blige...