Because my desktop got the virus a while back, Mother decided I should get a new computer. So I now have a new red Toshiba netbook. 10.0-inch screen. About $400. I feel bad that I got this, but now I can actually do more homework on campus XD
She and D called me while I was in the library with Shiva and one of our classmates studying for our midterm tomorrow. She kept calling me to ask me what I wanted and stuff. I didn't know. I'm not that computer savvy.
But anyway, yeah, new netbook. Yay. Now I won't have to kill my back bringing a laptop to campus when I need to use one. And it's got Windows 7 Starter, yee yee.
I'm still gonna use my desktop. When I'm home, which isn't often. At least not for the past two weeks. I'll just use my desktop to print stuff. Since I don't have a cord to connect my netbook directly to the printer. Hmm, need to download and install stuff on the netbook sometime. Maybe tomorrow, when I feel like wasting studying time XD
Anyway, yeah, that's all I wanted to say. Other than "I've never been a laptop person, but now I'm pretty sure I need one 'cause I don't get much writing done at home anymore." Hm...
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
Harrison's Water Fight/Movie Night
This past week has been pretty good and tiring. I don't update often anymore 'cause I'm not home for most of my awake time. When I am home, it's usually early in the day and late at night. Too tired to update stuff. I'm not even keeping up with my YouTube subscriptions D: So sad. I have about thirty videos to watch.
Anyway, just been going to class and being with Shiva and few other persons.
Shiva and I watched "Inception" on Sunday. Missed the first couple of minutes though. But the movie was pretty good. I didn't completely understand the movie, but it was captivating and the effects were spiffy. DiCaprio sure picks some awesome films to act in. Anyway, the theater was crowded. Shiva and I had to sit toward the front to watch the movie. Neck cramp for me -_- but it was all good. We enjoyed ourselves.
Oh, the squirrel came back to me yesterday XD but I didn't feed it this time. And it wasn't being persistent about getting food.
Been really distracted this past week by a certain someone >_> Really need to get reading and work done this weekend. Must focus real hard.
Oh, Harrison and I decided yesterday evening (while waiting for Shiva to finish Kendo practice) that we shall share a super burrito from La Vic's from time to time. Our bonding time haha. Maybe one day I'll be hungry enough for us to share a Burritozilla from Iguanas.
Anyway, today, I went to campus to help Shiva make food for Harrison's party. What was it? Mitarashi dango? I don't remember exactly what it was called. But yeah. Tasty stuff. Messy process haha. I kinda screwed up and put in too much water in the mixture. Instead of making twenty-five pieces, we made more than seventy pieces. Using toothpicks instead of skewers (gotta love Shiva's resourcefulness).
After we finished, Michelle (Shiva's roommate) gave Shiva, Marian, and me a ride to Harrison's so that the four of us could enjoy the water fight XD The four of us spent about an hour and a half filling up water balloons and tossing them into the kiddie pool in front of Harrison's house.
I hadn't planned on participating in the water fight, but people got me with the balloons -_- so I ended up joining in. Took the longest time for me to dry off haha.
After Shiva and I were done with the balloons, I walked with her to a house I used to live in. It looks completely different. Lots of memories in that house for me. Many good, many bad. But really, I just remember all the bike-riding.
Anyway, back to the party... I need to walk barefoot more often. The soles of my feet are so sensitive; so disappointing. I used to go barefoot with no problems. Today, every twig and rock hurt my feet T-T
When we got back to Harrison's house, all of the water balloons were gone. Group pictures. I made a strange face for the silly pictures o_o Can't wait to see those >_>
I didn't really eat too much. There were pizza, cupcakes, sodas, vegetables, and other stuff. Food did not agree with my stomach ): And I was soaked. No extra clothes, blah. Borrowed Shiva's shirt haha.
Started watching "Ocean's Eleven," but most people weren't paying attention. So "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" was put in, and more attention was held by this. Realized Cary Elwes was the actor playing Robin Hood O: Shocking, especially since I've only ever thought of him as Dr Gordon from "Saw."
Left Harrison's place at 21h45-ish. Michelle gave me a ride home.
Now, I'm home. Yay. Tried to eat something to make my stomach feel better. But nothing wants to go into my stomach and stay there.
Mm, need to get stuff done this weekend. I hope I do. Readings and papers. I can do this. Just need to focus and not get distracted.
Going to campus tomorrow and on Sunday to work on stuff and study for a midterm.
Three weeks of summer session left. About five weeks of summer break. Helping Shiva move to her old apartment next weekend, wooo.
Blah blah blah. My brain is starting to become mush. Exhausted... Need sleep. Forgetting things. Thoughts jumping around, feeling semi-coherent.
Ok, good night.
Anyway, just been going to class and being with Shiva and few other persons.
Shiva and I watched "Inception" on Sunday. Missed the first couple of minutes though. But the movie was pretty good. I didn't completely understand the movie, but it was captivating and the effects were spiffy. DiCaprio sure picks some awesome films to act in. Anyway, the theater was crowded. Shiva and I had to sit toward the front to watch the movie. Neck cramp for me -_- but it was all good. We enjoyed ourselves.
Oh, the squirrel came back to me yesterday XD but I didn't feed it this time. And it wasn't being persistent about getting food.
Been really distracted this past week by a certain someone >_> Really need to get reading and work done this weekend. Must focus real hard.
Oh, Harrison and I decided yesterday evening (while waiting for Shiva to finish Kendo practice) that we shall share a super burrito from La Vic's from time to time. Our bonding time haha. Maybe one day I'll be hungry enough for us to share a Burritozilla from Iguanas.
Anyway, today, I went to campus to help Shiva make food for Harrison's party. What was it? Mitarashi dango? I don't remember exactly what it was called. But yeah. Tasty stuff. Messy process haha. I kinda screwed up and put in too much water in the mixture. Instead of making twenty-five pieces, we made more than seventy pieces. Using toothpicks instead of skewers (gotta love Shiva's resourcefulness).
After we finished, Michelle (Shiva's roommate) gave Shiva, Marian, and me a ride to Harrison's so that the four of us could enjoy the water fight XD The four of us spent about an hour and a half filling up water balloons and tossing them into the kiddie pool in front of Harrison's house.
I hadn't planned on participating in the water fight, but people got me with the balloons -_- so I ended up joining in. Took the longest time for me to dry off haha.
After Shiva and I were done with the balloons, I walked with her to a house I used to live in. It looks completely different. Lots of memories in that house for me. Many good, many bad. But really, I just remember all the bike-riding.
Anyway, back to the party... I need to walk barefoot more often. The soles of my feet are so sensitive; so disappointing. I used to go barefoot with no problems. Today, every twig and rock hurt my feet T-T
When we got back to Harrison's house, all of the water balloons were gone. Group pictures. I made a strange face for the silly pictures o_o Can't wait to see those >_>
I didn't really eat too much. There were pizza, cupcakes, sodas, vegetables, and other stuff. Food did not agree with my stomach ): And I was soaked. No extra clothes, blah. Borrowed Shiva's shirt haha.
Started watching "Ocean's Eleven," but most people weren't paying attention. So "Robin Hood: Men in Tights" was put in, and more attention was held by this. Realized Cary Elwes was the actor playing Robin Hood O: Shocking, especially since I've only ever thought of him as Dr Gordon from "Saw."
Left Harrison's place at 21h45-ish. Michelle gave me a ride home.
Now, I'm home. Yay. Tried to eat something to make my stomach feel better. But nothing wants to go into my stomach and stay there.
Mm, need to get stuff done this weekend. I hope I do. Readings and papers. I can do this. Just need to focus and not get distracted.
Going to campus tomorrow and on Sunday to work on stuff and study for a midterm.
Three weeks of summer session left. About five weeks of summer break. Helping Shiva move to her old apartment next weekend, wooo.
Blah blah blah. My brain is starting to become mush. Exhausted... Need sleep. Forgetting things. Thoughts jumping around, feeling semi-coherent.
Ok, good night.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Heart-racing calmness....
Who would have ever suspected my life would go how it's going right now? I didn't. I still find it hard to believe my life can be how it is right now. Ups and downs, as always. But they're not the ups and downs I had expected. The ups are better than I thought. The downs are too varied for me to compare them to my expectations.
But for the moment, all I'm focusing on are the ups. The ups are pretty damn amazing....
----
Second summer session started on Monday. I'm so exhausted. My classes and professors seem interesting enough though. Went home hella late on Monday and Wednesday. Always too tired to do homework XP Stayed late on Tuesday and Thursday to do readings and stuff for SOCI 154 at Shiva's place.
Went to Kendo on Thursday, but I spent most of the time trying to read.
Oh, on Tuesday, while I was waiting for Shiva to get out of class, I was sitting at a bench near the CCB and Music building. I was reading a library book. When I took a break to watch a squirrel from afar, it came over to me. Ran in circles around my bench. Stopped and looked at me. Then it climbed onto the bench and sniffed at me. Put its front paws on me. Passersby stopped and talked to me about the squirrel, exclaiming that they had never seen any squirrel do that before (without any visible treats). Then the squirrel climbed onto my book. So I set the book down on the bench. Then the squirrel started biting the book D: So I pulled the book away. As I did that, the squirrel bit my watch T-T So I shooed it away, but it stayed and sniffed at my shoes. So I gave it an almond treat that Shiva had bought for me. The squirrel ate it for a couple of minutes and came back to me for more food. So I got up and sat at another bench. Five minutes later, the squirrel found me. Again, more shooing and finding yet another bench. Eventually, it did leave me alone.
When I recounted this story to Shiva, she told me I was attacked by a squirrel -_- I was NOT attacked by a squirrel; it just came to me for food.
The rest of the week hasn't had much else happen outside of classrooms or Shiva's apartment, where I've spent the majority of my time.
Harrison came over to chill at the apartment on Wednesday. But not really with Shiva and me. He came to chill primarily with Michelle, Shiva's roommate O: haha (On Sunday, Free Slurpee Day, Harrison and I had gone to campus to chill with Shiva and get slurpees. Roommates [Marian and Michelle] came along.)
And then yesterday night, Shiva, Harrison, Michelle, and two others went bar hopping to celebrate Shiva's birthday. Yay for drunk texting. Those texts are totally going to be saved on my phone XD At least for a few weeks haha.
Hmm, today was intriguing indeed. I came over to try to do homework for 154, which I didn't get to do yesterday. Harrison had slept over. Haha drunk Harrison seems to be the same person as sober Harrison. Pictures and videos make me wish I was 21, so I could have gone out with these guys last night XD haha. Seemed like fun.
Anyway, got some reading done in Shiva's room. Including the reading Shiva and I have to do for 154. But we didn't actually get to the homework assignment >_> Got waayyy too distracted during the reading <_< Silly games and such hahaha....
Shortest goodbye this week tonight XP only because Mother drove to campus to pick me up. But I guess it's better to fall asleep in the car than on the light rail.
Have to go back to campus tomorrow to finish the reading and homework XP Hopefully won't get too distracted then. Might even try to finish early enough so that Shiva and I can go watch "Inception" :D Though >_> I have a feeling that major distractions will arise again....
But for the moment, all I'm focusing on are the ups. The ups are pretty damn amazing....
----
Second summer session started on Monday. I'm so exhausted. My classes and professors seem interesting enough though. Went home hella late on Monday and Wednesday. Always too tired to do homework XP Stayed late on Tuesday and Thursday to do readings and stuff for SOCI 154 at Shiva's place.
Went to Kendo on Thursday, but I spent most of the time trying to read.
Oh, on Tuesday, while I was waiting for Shiva to get out of class, I was sitting at a bench near the CCB and Music building. I was reading a library book. When I took a break to watch a squirrel from afar, it came over to me. Ran in circles around my bench. Stopped and looked at me. Then it climbed onto the bench and sniffed at me. Put its front paws on me. Passersby stopped and talked to me about the squirrel, exclaiming that they had never seen any squirrel do that before (without any visible treats). Then the squirrel climbed onto my book. So I set the book down on the bench. Then the squirrel started biting the book D: So I pulled the book away. As I did that, the squirrel bit my watch T-T So I shooed it away, but it stayed and sniffed at my shoes. So I gave it an almond treat that Shiva had bought for me. The squirrel ate it for a couple of minutes and came back to me for more food. So I got up and sat at another bench. Five minutes later, the squirrel found me. Again, more shooing and finding yet another bench. Eventually, it did leave me alone.
When I recounted this story to Shiva, she told me I was attacked by a squirrel -_- I was NOT attacked by a squirrel; it just came to me for food.
The rest of the week hasn't had much else happen outside of classrooms or Shiva's apartment, where I've spent the majority of my time.
Harrison came over to chill at the apartment on Wednesday. But not really with Shiva and me. He came to chill primarily with Michelle, Shiva's roommate O: haha (On Sunday, Free Slurpee Day, Harrison and I had gone to campus to chill with Shiva and get slurpees. Roommates [Marian and Michelle] came along.)
And then yesterday night, Shiva, Harrison, Michelle, and two others went bar hopping to celebrate Shiva's birthday. Yay for drunk texting. Those texts are totally going to be saved on my phone XD At least for a few weeks haha.
Hmm, today was intriguing indeed. I came over to try to do homework for 154, which I didn't get to do yesterday. Harrison had slept over. Haha drunk Harrison seems to be the same person as sober Harrison. Pictures and videos make me wish I was 21, so I could have gone out with these guys last night XD haha. Seemed like fun.
Anyway, got some reading done in Shiva's room. Including the reading Shiva and I have to do for 154. But we didn't actually get to the homework assignment >_> Got waayyy too distracted during the reading <_< Silly games and such hahaha....
Shortest goodbye this week tonight XP only because Mother drove to campus to pick me up. But I guess it's better to fall asleep in the car than on the light rail.
Have to go back to campus tomorrow to finish the reading and homework XP Hopefully won't get too distracted then. Might even try to finish early enough so that Shiva and I can go watch "Inception" :D Though >_> I have a feeling that major distractions will arise again....
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Root canals aren't that bad...
Past couple of days have been interesting. Haven't updated about any of it because my computer contracted a virus T-T Apparently downloaded itself into my computer. It wouldn't let me connect to any website except for one that "sells" an anti-virus program called AV Security Suite. Couldn't open up the task manager or Control Panel to get rid of it. Kept giving me warnings about how files on my computer were infected. Wouldn't let me open any of my programs T-T
But now the virus is gone. Yay for online removal instructions.
If I couldn't get rid of the virus today, I would have been allowed to buy a netbook O: Wow. Oh well. I'm good with my desktop until it craps out on me or something.
Ooh, D's gonna give me his external hard drive so that I can put my music files in it, just in case my desktop does decide to die.
But anyway, back to Thursday. Went to campus around 15h00 after driving Mother to the eye doctor. Chilled with Shiva. Was going to go to Music in the Park. But friggin' headache meant loud music would not be a good idea T-T
Hmm, it's been a while, so details have disappeared from my brain D: but I remember Jay and Veronica coming over to write stuff in a birthday card to the Naginata sensei. They like the smell of permanent marker, egh XP Then off to Kendo/Naginata.
Gave the birthday card and a nagamaki to the Naginata sensei. Took pictures. Fun stuff. I still find it weird that I'm being included in all these club things >_> 'cause I'm not actually a part of the club.
Hm, the sensei for Kendo said that I lied O: He said I said I would show up to all the practices. But I didn't T-T I said I would try to come watch sometime. Haha he went out and brought a cushiony chair into the basketball court for me to sit on XD He told me if I keep showing up, he'd bring in a chair for me every time haha XP
So I sat in the chair and watched the few people who showed up practice. Tried to take pictures, but Shiva's camera is too slow or the people are just too fast :P haha Veronica broke Jay's naginata in half XD That was pretty awesome. I mean, not for the naginata. But it was interesting to see. I looked over at them for two seconds before it happened.
But anyway, fun stuff to watch. Shiva and I left the practice about an hour early. Back to her place. Then out for a walk and food. Iguana's, my first time there. Ran into Jonathan G (the guy I met at parties) and his coworkers. Talked for a while. His coworkers left. He stayed to walk with Shiva and me >_> Ate foods in front of the SJ Rep. Yay, wind and stuff haha. Green sauce was interesting.
Walked back to room. Sprinklers! I got soaked. I meant to pull Shiva through with me, but she resisted -_- Darn you, Shiva.
Anyway, Jon went home. Shiva and I went back up to her room, though I wanted to keep walking outside. Outside was nice. Would have gone back outside, but somehow we managed to pass time in her room for quite a while before going to sleep. Oh yeah, CUTE KITTEN VIDEOS.... ^_^ Adorrrable.
But anyway, we ended up going to bed at like 1h30 or something like that :P An interesting night's sleep it was for me.
Waking up was interesting too. I had set my alarm for 6h30 as usual. I woke up at 6h30. Got up at 6h40. Shiva made me go back to bed for an hour -_-
Marian gave us both a ride to the dentist all the way past the car dealerships on Capitol O: So far from campus.
45-minute appointment. And Shiva has to go back on Friday 'cause her root canal's not done, hm.
Bus and light rail back to campus. Took about an hour. Went by really quickly.
What did we do the rest of the day? I don't really remember. Though, I do recall being attacked by Shiva's fingers T-T I could still feel the tickles when I went home. Phantom tickles -shudders-
Oh, we also watched "Sherlock Holmes" :D Interesting movie.
Holmes: "Madam, I need you to remain calm. And trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow, lies the key to my release."
Maid: -screams, runs-
And I didn't know that Sherlock Holmes could plan out physical attacks in his head so quickly o_o Those scenes were pretty awesome.
If you haven't watched the movie, you should. It's pretty entertaining.
Mm, other than that, there's not much else for me to share about Thursday and Friday. Well, I could... but nahh... :P You don't need to know everything haha.
Yesterday and today was full of me driving family around. Fun stuff >_> But anyway, now, it seems that I shall be chillin' with Shiva and Harrison some more before 10 and sleep :P
So good night haha.
But now the virus is gone. Yay for online removal instructions.
If I couldn't get rid of the virus today, I would have been allowed to buy a netbook O: Wow. Oh well. I'm good with my desktop until it craps out on me or something.
Ooh, D's gonna give me his external hard drive so that I can put my music files in it, just in case my desktop does decide to die.
But anyway, back to Thursday. Went to campus around 15h00 after driving Mother to the eye doctor. Chilled with Shiva. Was going to go to Music in the Park. But friggin' headache meant loud music would not be a good idea T-T
Hmm, it's been a while, so details have disappeared from my brain D: but I remember Jay and Veronica coming over to write stuff in a birthday card to the Naginata sensei. They like the smell of permanent marker, egh XP Then off to Kendo/Naginata.
Gave the birthday card and a nagamaki to the Naginata sensei. Took pictures. Fun stuff. I still find it weird that I'm being included in all these club things >_> 'cause I'm not actually a part of the club.
Hm, the sensei for Kendo said that I lied O: He said I said I would show up to all the practices. But I didn't T-T I said I would try to come watch sometime. Haha he went out and brought a cushiony chair into the basketball court for me to sit on XD He told me if I keep showing up, he'd bring in a chair for me every time haha XP
So I sat in the chair and watched the few people who showed up practice. Tried to take pictures, but Shiva's camera is too slow or the people are just too fast :P haha Veronica broke Jay's naginata in half XD That was pretty awesome. I mean, not for the naginata. But it was interesting to see. I looked over at them for two seconds before it happened.
But anyway, fun stuff to watch. Shiva and I left the practice about an hour early. Back to her place. Then out for a walk and food. Iguana's, my first time there. Ran into Jonathan G (the guy I met at parties) and his coworkers. Talked for a while. His coworkers left. He stayed to walk with Shiva and me >_> Ate foods in front of the SJ Rep. Yay, wind and stuff haha. Green sauce was interesting.
Walked back to room. Sprinklers! I got soaked. I meant to pull Shiva through with me, but she resisted -_- Darn you, Shiva.
Anyway, Jon went home. Shiva and I went back up to her room, though I wanted to keep walking outside. Outside was nice. Would have gone back outside, but somehow we managed to pass time in her room for quite a while before going to sleep. Oh yeah, CUTE KITTEN VIDEOS.... ^_^ Adorrrable.
But anyway, we ended up going to bed at like 1h30 or something like that :P An interesting night's sleep it was for me.
Waking up was interesting too. I had set my alarm for 6h30 as usual. I woke up at 6h30. Got up at 6h40. Shiva made me go back to bed for an hour -_-
Marian gave us both a ride to the dentist all the way past the car dealerships on Capitol O: So far from campus.
45-minute appointment. And Shiva has to go back on Friday 'cause her root canal's not done, hm.
Bus and light rail back to campus. Took about an hour. Went by really quickly.
What did we do the rest of the day? I don't really remember. Though, I do recall being attacked by Shiva's fingers T-T I could still feel the tickles when I went home. Phantom tickles -shudders-
Oh, we also watched "Sherlock Holmes" :D Interesting movie.
Holmes: "Madam, I need you to remain calm. And trust me, I'm a professional. Beneath this pillow, lies the key to my release."
Maid: -screams, runs-
And I didn't know that Sherlock Holmes could plan out physical attacks in his head so quickly o_o Those scenes were pretty awesome.
If you haven't watched the movie, you should. It's pretty entertaining.
Mm, other than that, there's not much else for me to share about Thursday and Friday. Well, I could... but nahh... :P You don't need to know everything haha.
Yesterday and today was full of me driving family around. Fun stuff >_> But anyway, now, it seems that I shall be chillin' with Shiva and Harrison some more before 10 and sleep :P
So good night haha.
Monday, July 5, 2010
The fireworks went BOOM BOOM BOOM hahaha...
So yesterday was an awesome, chill day :)
Chilled with Harrison since like 14h20. We went to Valley Fair so that he could buy jeans. Jeans are sooo expensive x_x The pants that were cheap/on sale did not fit me or were styles that I do not like (Stupid skinny jeans. And ripped jeans are cool when you don't pay for the rips). The (straight, mid-rise) jeans that I liked and which did fit were not on sale ): $70+ That's all I had on me XP so yeah, no way I'd pay for one pair of jeans with all my money.
Anyway, after visiting several stores (Gap, Macy's, Lucky Brand Jeans, Levi's, etc etc), Harrison finally settled on a pair of good ol' Levi's and a nice plaid shirt.
Then we drove across the street to Santana Row (I never knew they were across the street from each other 'til yesterday >_>). Walked to the Fantasia Tea Cafe. Got myself a Honeydew Delight (deeelicious) and tiramisu. Expensive stuff.
After that, Harrison and I went to SJSU to chill at Shiva's for a while. Interesting conversations >_> Harrison, Shiva, Marian, and I left around 19h15 for the SJSU Stadium parking lot in Harrison's SUV. Parking was $15 O: Expensive, yo...
We were there somewhat early so we could claim a good spot for the fireworks-viewing. I texted Ariane to see if she was coming, but no she couldn't ): Sadness. Anyway, listened to some of Harrison's music on his iTouch. Such a small selection XP He doesn't have like the really good songs from some artists. Like, for Michael Jackson, he didn't have "PYT," "Billie Jean," or even "Thriller" D: Horrible.
Shiva was trying to write a paper. Slow, slow-going haha XP And OMFG, the three of them attacked me with cameras @_@ noooo... T-T Now, I suppose I will wait for the pictures to show up on Facebook >_>
But anyway, the fireworks started at 21h30. They were beautiful. I liked the ones that reminded me of sea urchins and sand dollars. I didn't bring a camera, so I just sat there and watched while the other three took pictures. And ooh, Shiva just reminded me haha, there was a point in the show where they set of rows of fireworks, and it reminded me of Space Invaders XD Then I thought it would be perfect if aliens did decide to invade Earth right at that time. We could take some of 'em out with fireworks :D
Despite the windiness, I was very warm and everything haha XD I'm like an electric blanket, but so so much better hahaha ^_^ Mm, warmth and comfy-ness.... I'm just awesome, ya dig? :P
The show lasted half an hour. The leaving the parking lot after the show was over also lasted about half an hour. We just chilled in the car, talking, listening to the radio, and blinding/flashing each other (with cameras) XP
Drove back to campus. Chilled some more in the apartment. More interesting conversations.
Me: But it's not stubbly!
Harrison: I know. My beard is too frisky... I meant, prickly! Ahh...
Haha silly Harrison XP Now, we know beards can be frisky. Or at least Harrison's can be.
Anyway, for like three hours, the four of us chilled on the couch, talking and kinda eating. Of course, Shiva was being her studious self and working on her paper. Eventually, I kinda just stopped talking -nods- Listening and thinking took over... But I was comfortable with how things were going.
Last night, 'twas a good night ^_^ Was home by 2 in the morning haha. Mother wasn't very happy about that, but she didn't yell at me anymore.
I almost nearly zonked out when I got into bed. But I was awake for maybe ten minutes, thinking about stuff before I finally passed out. This morning, I woke up early, but I didn't get up out of bed till 11h00. Blah. Need to get up early out of bed again, since the second summer session starts next week O:
Anyway, yee yee, last night was off the heezy! Chill, chill times :)
Mm, yeah, that's all I've got to say. Now, I'ma just chillax, watch a movie or two, and read.
Peace out.
Chilled with Harrison since like 14h20. We went to Valley Fair so that he could buy jeans. Jeans are sooo expensive x_x The pants that were cheap/on sale did not fit me or were styles that I do not like (Stupid skinny jeans. And ripped jeans are cool when you don't pay for the rips). The (straight, mid-rise) jeans that I liked and which did fit were not on sale ): $70+ That's all I had on me XP so yeah, no way I'd pay for one pair of jeans with all my money.
Anyway, after visiting several stores (Gap, Macy's, Lucky Brand Jeans, Levi's, etc etc), Harrison finally settled on a pair of good ol' Levi's and a nice plaid shirt.
Then we drove across the street to Santana Row (I never knew they were across the street from each other 'til yesterday >_>). Walked to the Fantasia Tea Cafe. Got myself a Honeydew Delight (deeelicious) and tiramisu. Expensive stuff.
After that, Harrison and I went to SJSU to chill at Shiva's for a while. Interesting conversations >_> Harrison, Shiva, Marian, and I left around 19h15 for the SJSU Stadium parking lot in Harrison's SUV. Parking was $15 O: Expensive, yo...
We were there somewhat early so we could claim a good spot for the fireworks-viewing. I texted Ariane to see if she was coming, but no she couldn't ): Sadness. Anyway, listened to some of Harrison's music on his iTouch. Such a small selection XP He doesn't have like the really good songs from some artists. Like, for Michael Jackson, he didn't have "PYT," "Billie Jean," or even "Thriller" D: Horrible.
Shiva was trying to write a paper. Slow, slow-going haha XP And OMFG, the three of them attacked me with cameras @_@ noooo... T-T Now, I suppose I will wait for the pictures to show up on Facebook >_>
But anyway, the fireworks started at 21h30. They were beautiful. I liked the ones that reminded me of sea urchins and sand dollars. I didn't bring a camera, so I just sat there and watched while the other three took pictures. And ooh, Shiva just reminded me haha, there was a point in the show where they set of rows of fireworks, and it reminded me of Space Invaders XD Then I thought it would be perfect if aliens did decide to invade Earth right at that time. We could take some of 'em out with fireworks :D
Despite the windiness, I was very warm and everything haha XD I'm like an electric blanket, but so so much better hahaha ^_^ Mm, warmth and comfy-ness.... I'm just awesome, ya dig? :P
The show lasted half an hour. The leaving the parking lot after the show was over also lasted about half an hour. We just chilled in the car, talking, listening to the radio, and blinding/flashing each other (with cameras) XP
Drove back to campus. Chilled some more in the apartment. More interesting conversations.
Me: But it's not stubbly!
Harrison: I know. My beard is too frisky... I meant, prickly! Ahh...
Haha silly Harrison XP Now, we know beards can be frisky. Or at least Harrison's can be.
Anyway, for like three hours, the four of us chilled on the couch, talking and kinda eating. Of course, Shiva was being her studious self and working on her paper. Eventually, I kinda just stopped talking -nods- Listening and thinking took over... But I was comfortable with how things were going.
Last night, 'twas a good night ^_^ Was home by 2 in the morning haha. Mother wasn't very happy about that, but she didn't yell at me anymore.
I almost nearly zonked out when I got into bed. But I was awake for maybe ten minutes, thinking about stuff before I finally passed out. This morning, I woke up early, but I didn't get up out of bed till 11h00. Blah. Need to get up early out of bed again, since the second summer session starts next week O:
Anyway, yee yee, last night was off the heezy! Chill, chill times :)
Mm, yeah, that's all I've got to say. Now, I'ma just chillax, watch a movie or two, and read.
Peace out.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
"There have been studies that say being naked helps brain cells..."
So Mother's recruited D's help in looking for a new place to move to. Yes, the search has started up again. But this time, she's looking outside San Jose too D: I don't know how that would work with me going to SJSU. Maybe if we moved to Milpitas or Campbell. Whatever's in the 408 area.
Mm, I kinda want to move 'cause I don't have any friends to talk to in this neighborhood. And there aren't any parks close by for me to walk to. But SSSJ is where a lot of people (from high school) are at. I guess it doesn't matter if I never really talk to them anyway, right? Though, even if we move somewhere else, I still probably would shut myself in and not make any new friends haha.
Hm, I wanna move closer to or into downtown, but Mother doesn't like the neighborhoods around there. I dunno. If we moved somewhere around there, she'd be closer to her Viet friends and stores, and my commute to campus would be sooo much shorter. Although, a 26-minute light rail ride isn't too bad. I just wouldn't risk falling asleep on the light rail, you know? haha...
Anyway, if we move somewhere else, Mother's paranoia might go away. Or well, it wouldn't go away, but it wouldn't be so bad as it is now. She keeps getting mad at me for not being home to fend off burglars >_> Hmm..
But back to the moving thing, we're looking for another two-bedroom place. Difficult to find another two-bedroom house for rent. Townhouse or apartment, probably. 1000+ square feet. Again, somewhat difficult to find. At least for Mother's price range, which is < $1500. Asking a bit much, isn't she? Mm, she was looking as far as Alameda County ): Cheaper homes there. Damn it, I don't wanna move that far. How would I get to school?
I told her she could move there if she wanted. I could move out and get a room for myself somewhere around SJSU. Of course, I still need to find a friggin' job haha. Yeah, fun stuff..
Aaanyway, yesterday was fun :) Chilled with Ariane, Maggie, and Autumn at Oakridge for a lil bit ^_^ Good to see y'all again. You need to stop making me feel so embarrassed about stuffs XD haha... Call you right after it happens, pffft XP I don't like y'all that much. hahaha jkjk.
So we went around to Victoria's Secret >_> and Target and Macy's. Swimsuits, mm. Someone's gotta stop being so embarrassed about wearing bathing suits haha :P C'mon, even I have worn two-pieces haha. And I definitely, definitely do not like showing skin >_> <_< >_> But anyway, this is where the entry title comes in. Autumn's bit of wisdom for the day, yeah? haha... Yay for nudism? haha I'm sure the salesgirl probably thought our conversation was an interesting one XP hm.
Oh oh, later, when we were near Macy's, I ran into Thien (from SJSU/QTIP/Q&A). A hugpatpat from me, and a reminder about karaoke haha XD I don't even know if that's gonna happen this summer haha. Right after that, Phiphi showed up out of nowhere haha. Though, I don't think she remembered me. Or she did, but we don't know each other very well haha. So she hugged the other three, and I just stood and smiled haha.
After some catching up, the four of us took a while to decide where to go and all. After some dancing and singing with Ariane (Dynamite! XD haha I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ayo, gotta let go. I wanna celebrate and live my life, saying ayo, baby let's go...), we finally decided to go to Le Boulanger and the Jamba Juice that Ariane works at. Yay employee discounts ^_^ Then we were off to Ariane's house.
Geez, it's been hella long since I've been there. Been more than two years, how sad. Watched a bit of E! True Hollywood Story. Was about Will Smith.
Then about 5, I had to leave. So Ariane drove me home and the others back to Autumn's car at Oakridge. On the way to my house, we were kinda singing along to the radio haha. "California Gurls" played. Gotta sing along to that XD Such a fun song. I really like it haha. California gurls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce. We got it on lock. West Coast represent. Now put your hands up.
Wow, I feel like I sang a lot yesterday >_> hahaha....
After I got home, I didn't stay home 'cause Mother wanted me to drive her somewhere and do stuff. So I wasn't home till like 21h00 or something. Was home for an hour before I had to drive Mother again to bring water to Brother. He's broke and jobless, and he's still going out to party and stuff o_o He's in Santa Cruz today with his friends -shrug- Whatever. I just find it stupid that Mother gets mad at him for going out so much when he's not working, yet she gives him everything he asks for anyway.
Oh well. Today will be a good day. Gonna go to Valley Fair with Harrison. Then to the Independence Day fireworks at the SJ Giants' stadium. Of course, there will be in-between things to do. Might chill at Shiva's for a bit. Then Harrison will probably give Shiva, her roommate Marian, and me a ride to the fireworks XD Yay, fireworks! Fireworks go BOOM! :P haha I'm excited. I haven't seen live fireworks since Expo back in '05.
Hmm... Random, but I kinda wanna go to a dance party o_o Don't really wanna go to a club. Too many strangers. Don't want some creep dancing up on people again >_> But dancing sounds fun, yeah? Hmm...
And I realize that Expo is almost over T-T There's like 5 hours left -sigh- Next year? Maybe next year.
Ok, now, my head's kinda empty of thoughts to share... Time to think of other interesting things...
Mm, I kinda want to move 'cause I don't have any friends to talk to in this neighborhood. And there aren't any parks close by for me to walk to. But SSSJ is where a lot of people (from high school) are at. I guess it doesn't matter if I never really talk to them anyway, right? Though, even if we move somewhere else, I still probably would shut myself in and not make any new friends haha.
Hm, I wanna move closer to or into downtown, but Mother doesn't like the neighborhoods around there. I dunno. If we moved somewhere around there, she'd be closer to her Viet friends and stores, and my commute to campus would be sooo much shorter. Although, a 26-minute light rail ride isn't too bad. I just wouldn't risk falling asleep on the light rail, you know? haha...
Anyway, if we move somewhere else, Mother's paranoia might go away. Or well, it wouldn't go away, but it wouldn't be so bad as it is now. She keeps getting mad at me for not being home to fend off burglars >_> Hmm..
But back to the moving thing, we're looking for another two-bedroom place. Difficult to find another two-bedroom house for rent. Townhouse or apartment, probably. 1000+ square feet. Again, somewhat difficult to find. At least for Mother's price range, which is < $1500. Asking a bit much, isn't she? Mm, she was looking as far as Alameda County ): Cheaper homes there. Damn it, I don't wanna move that far. How would I get to school?
I told her she could move there if she wanted. I could move out and get a room for myself somewhere around SJSU. Of course, I still need to find a friggin' job haha. Yeah, fun stuff..
Aaanyway, yesterday was fun :) Chilled with Ariane, Maggie, and Autumn at Oakridge for a lil bit ^_^ Good to see y'all again. You need to stop making me feel so embarrassed about stuffs XD haha... Call you right after it happens, pffft XP I don't like y'all that much. hahaha jkjk.
So we went around to Victoria's Secret >_> and Target and Macy's. Swimsuits, mm. Someone's gotta stop being so embarrassed about wearing bathing suits haha :P C'mon, even I have worn two-pieces haha. And I definitely, definitely do not like showing skin >_> <_< >_> But anyway, this is where the entry title comes in. Autumn's bit of wisdom for the day, yeah? haha... Yay for nudism? haha I'm sure the salesgirl probably thought our conversation was an interesting one XP hm.
Oh oh, later, when we were near Macy's, I ran into Thien (from SJSU/QTIP/Q&A). A hugpatpat from me, and a reminder about karaoke haha XD I don't even know if that's gonna happen this summer haha. Right after that, Phiphi showed up out of nowhere haha. Though, I don't think she remembered me. Or she did, but we don't know each other very well haha. So she hugged the other three, and I just stood and smiled haha.
After some catching up, the four of us took a while to decide where to go and all. After some dancing and singing with Ariane (Dynamite! XD haha I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying ayo, gotta let go. I wanna celebrate and live my life, saying ayo, baby let's go...), we finally decided to go to Le Boulanger and the Jamba Juice that Ariane works at. Yay employee discounts ^_^ Then we were off to Ariane's house.
Geez, it's been hella long since I've been there. Been more than two years, how sad. Watched a bit of E! True Hollywood Story. Was about Will Smith.
Then about 5, I had to leave. So Ariane drove me home and the others back to Autumn's car at Oakridge. On the way to my house, we were kinda singing along to the radio haha. "California Gurls" played. Gotta sing along to that XD Such a fun song. I really like it haha. California gurls, we're undeniable. Fine, fresh, fierce. We got it on lock. West Coast represent. Now put your hands up.
Wow, I feel like I sang a lot yesterday >_> hahaha....
After I got home, I didn't stay home 'cause Mother wanted me to drive her somewhere and do stuff. So I wasn't home till like 21h00 or something. Was home for an hour before I had to drive Mother again to bring water to Brother. He's broke and jobless, and he's still going out to party and stuff o_o He's in Santa Cruz today with his friends -shrug- Whatever. I just find it stupid that Mother gets mad at him for going out so much when he's not working, yet she gives him everything he asks for anyway.
Oh well. Today will be a good day. Gonna go to Valley Fair with Harrison. Then to the Independence Day fireworks at the SJ Giants' stadium. Of course, there will be in-between things to do. Might chill at Shiva's for a bit. Then Harrison will probably give Shiva, her roommate Marian, and me a ride to the fireworks XD Yay, fireworks! Fireworks go BOOM! :P haha I'm excited. I haven't seen live fireworks since Expo back in '05.
Hmm... Random, but I kinda wanna go to a dance party o_o Don't really wanna go to a club. Too many strangers. Don't want some creep dancing up on people again >_> But dancing sounds fun, yeah? Hmm...
And I realize that Expo is almost over T-T There's like 5 hours left -sigh- Next year? Maybe next year.
Ok, now, my head's kinda empty of thoughts to share... Time to think of other interesting things...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I just needed this...
I'm still positive positive positive, but I still wonder about the negative... I'm feeling like I could never be as good... good enough...
Am I waging a battle against nostalgia? Or an idealized future? If I am, I don't think I could win. Is it against hopelessness? Is it against distrust and sheer disbelief? Am I fighting a battle against a mind that's set on believing I can't do right? Again, I don't know if I'll come out victorious.
But I can only hope, yeah?
I just need a chance. I just need to give myself a chance.
Will I do right by you? Who knows? Maybe I've done enough to piss you off or to make you believe I will never be good enough. Done enough to feed your doubts about me. Or maybe I just haven't done enough. I'm getting the same results either way, right?
I want to do right by you. I really do. But it doesn't feel like you're giving me a chance. You need to give me a chance. For things to work out, I need to be given a chance. I need hope. I need your hope, your trust, and your effort as well. I can't do this by my will alone. There needs to be more.
Please don't give up on me. Please don't give up. We need this. I need this. You need me, all of me. Not just what you see of me, not just what you expect of me. I'm finally looking up, so please don't give up.
Don't give up. Try. Believe. I need you to believe. In you, in me, in everything else. If you don't believe in me, I don't know how I can keep trying and holding on. Because everything else I thought I was holding on for is slowly blurring away. You're starting to come into focus.
For now, I can just say I believe enough... I can do this... You can do this... This will all work out in the end, and everyone's gonna be happy. We're all gonna be ok. Just need to keep believing, hoping, going.
You're hoping and trusting, yeah? I hope so.
I just needed this... To empty out my head for the night/morning. I hope it works.
Bonne nuit, mes amis.
Am I waging a battle against nostalgia? Or an idealized future? If I am, I don't think I could win. Is it against hopelessness? Is it against distrust and sheer disbelief? Am I fighting a battle against a mind that's set on believing I can't do right? Again, I don't know if I'll come out victorious.
But I can only hope, yeah?
I just need a chance. I just need to give myself a chance.
Will I do right by you? Who knows? Maybe I've done enough to piss you off or to make you believe I will never be good enough. Done enough to feed your doubts about me. Or maybe I just haven't done enough. I'm getting the same results either way, right?
I want to do right by you. I really do. But it doesn't feel like you're giving me a chance. You need to give me a chance. For things to work out, I need to be given a chance. I need hope. I need your hope, your trust, and your effort as well. I can't do this by my will alone. There needs to be more.
Please don't give up on me. Please don't give up. We need this. I need this. You need me, all of me. Not just what you see of me, not just what you expect of me. I'm finally looking up, so please don't give up.
Don't give up. Try. Believe. I need you to believe. In you, in me, in everything else. If you don't believe in me, I don't know how I can keep trying and holding on. Because everything else I thought I was holding on for is slowly blurring away. You're starting to come into focus.
For now, I can just say I believe enough... I can do this... You can do this... This will all work out in the end, and everyone's gonna be happy. We're all gonna be ok. Just need to keep believing, hoping, going.
You're hoping and trusting, yeah? I hope so.
I just needed this... To empty out my head for the night/morning. I hope it works.
Bonne nuit, mes amis.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
In thirteen days...
If I haven't talked to you for a while or asked you how you're doing, I apologize.
I've been getting all caught up in my head about family and other things. Focusing way too much on myself. Feels selfish. Still thinking too much.
I don't really know what I'm doing. Just thinking a lot as usual. I've tried to post entries a few times in the past week, talking about how my week's been going, but I always end up deleting whole posts because I don't know what I want to share. There's a lot of thoughts going through my head lately, but sometimes it feels like they're just stuck in there rather than just passing through.
It's like when a DVD is damaged and always gets stuck at the same scene in a movie. It just keeps repeating that scene no matter how many times you press play, fast forward, or skip scene. It's just stuck there, going over and over again. Have you ever have that happen to you? In your head or on an actual TV screen? It doesn't really suck, but it gets annoying sometimes. If you're lucky, it will only happen during good scenes. It's less annoying that way. Could even be pleasant, if it were a really good scene. Mm...
Anyway, in thirteen days, a lot of things will happen or will have happened. Or it feels like a lot of things will. I'm hoping most of them will be good things.
In thirteen days, summer session will start for me, and I'll figure out if I can handle school. Can't wait for that. Three courses; this will be interesting...
In thirteen days, half of summer break will be gone. And I don't feel like I've wasted it, which is new to me. Still staying at home or chauffeuring much of the time, but I'm doing ok. It's definitely hard to be home, knowing I could be out and about, but I'm not complaining. Shocking, isn't it?
In thirteen days, Brother will find out what's gonna happen for him. I'm not sure how I want to feel about that. I already know how I feel about Mother's reaction to this whole situation. I wonder if I'll be prepared for her renewed reaction in two weeks.
Honestly, I don't know what's gonna happen between now and July 12th. A lot of good things can happen. Or a lot of bad. Or both. Or neither. Who can really say?
Lately, it feels like a lot of bad with some good mixed in here and there.
The timing of things is just off, I guess. Haven't been hearing what I've wanted to hear. And that's ok. I don't expect good things or anything like that. I don't really expect much at all.
I just wish... No, you know what? I'm not gonna wish. There's a lot of things that I hope go a certain way. But I can't wish for that. What's an empty wish anyway? I'm not making anything happen.
I feel like I need to make stuff happen. I wanna make something good happen. I don't know what I want to happen or how to go about making it happen. It's just a nice thought, you know? To help get the movie in my head unstuck.
Mm, I'm hoping for a change. The next two weeks will hopefully give me a good change. Though I am the same person as I have been at any point in my life prior to this moment, apparently, I'm already changing or changed, depending on who you talk to. For better in some ways, for worse in others. But I guess that's always the case, yeah?
I have no friggin' idea what I'm saying. How frustrating.
Ahh, I wanted to remember something. Hm. Oh. Remember, way back when I was on LiveJournal all the time, how I used to say something like "I wanna be happy with what I got and what I get"? I think I still feel the same way. Though, maybe more so now than I did back in high school. In high school, for the most part, I was still wanting good and better things, especially when I said I didn't. I wanted life to prove me wrong about how I should view the world and everything. Now, I really don't expect things to go any certain way. I mean, yeah, I've faltered with that a few times recently (Heh, old habits die hard?). But when things haven't been going how I want them to lately, it hurt, and then I was over it pretty quickly.
If half this sad stuff happened to me almost concurrently back in high school, I don't know how I would have dealt with it all then. I think my one-time emotional breakdown would have come sooner than it did, heh. But anyway, lately, yeah, I've cried about things, family-related or otherwise. And then I bounce back like an hour later, thinking much more clearly and calmly. And I dunno. It's weird. I'm not used to this calmness I have. No doubt, I still feel somewhat stressed and anxious about how things are going or how they will go. But it's not as overwhelming as I had initially feared.
Under this calm and collected facade that I've apparently maintained so very well, I've always been a nervous one. I might never show much on the outside, but on the inside, my emotions have wreaked havoc on me. I've had my fair share of teary nights.
During the past couple of weeks, maybe even months, though I have had a few sad days and teary nights, I've been handling my pressures and uncertainties quite well. With some help, I might add. Again, shocking, isn't it? Though I'm nowhere near perfect in handling anything, I feel like I'm doing better. Faltering at times, but I'm actually trying to do better now, rather than just saying that I want or need to do better.
And I'm trying to look up, look forward. Again, shocking. I just hope I don't give up on this again. Or on myself. I feel like I might, but I'm trying not to think like that so much. One day, maybe, this doubt of mine will be eradicated. That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Hmm, yay, positive stuff! I still don't know what I'm doing... now, later, short-term, or long-term. None of that. I only have an inkling. I want to graduate from SJSU as a Sociology major/Philosophy minor (I might add in another minor later on). That's thinking far ahead enough for me, ya dig?
Do you even remember a time where I planned anything at least a year in advance? I didn't think so. Again, I say I'm a changing person. I just never thought I would change for the better haha. Now, let's see if I change enough to take initiative to find a good first job.
Hmm, I think, in one of my next couple of entries, I'll say something about what I'm thinking of doing after college. That's if I come up with anything plausible. I don't have a clue as to what my future's gonna be like. But I'm gonna make it work. Any suggestions? Advice, ideas, and/or guidance would be greatly appreciated. And though I do appreciate the help of academic advisors, I value your opinions as much as, if not more than, I do theirs. Just saying.
Oh, I haven't used a single smiley in this entry yet. That's, again, shocking...
Time for sleep and not necessarily happy thoughts. Sleep and not-sad thoughts work for tonight. Good night :)
I've been getting all caught up in my head about family and other things. Focusing way too much on myself. Feels selfish. Still thinking too much.
I don't really know what I'm doing. Just thinking a lot as usual. I've tried to post entries a few times in the past week, talking about how my week's been going, but I always end up deleting whole posts because I don't know what I want to share. There's a lot of thoughts going through my head lately, but sometimes it feels like they're just stuck in there rather than just passing through.
It's like when a DVD is damaged and always gets stuck at the same scene in a movie. It just keeps repeating that scene no matter how many times you press play, fast forward, or skip scene. It's just stuck there, going over and over again. Have you ever have that happen to you? In your head or on an actual TV screen? It doesn't really suck, but it gets annoying sometimes. If you're lucky, it will only happen during good scenes. It's less annoying that way. Could even be pleasant, if it were a really good scene. Mm...
Anyway, in thirteen days, a lot of things will happen or will have happened. Or it feels like a lot of things will. I'm hoping most of them will be good things.
In thirteen days, summer session will start for me, and I'll figure out if I can handle school. Can't wait for that. Three courses; this will be interesting...
In thirteen days, half of summer break will be gone. And I don't feel like I've wasted it, which is new to me. Still staying at home or chauffeuring much of the time, but I'm doing ok. It's definitely hard to be home, knowing I could be out and about, but I'm not complaining. Shocking, isn't it?
In thirteen days, Brother will find out what's gonna happen for him. I'm not sure how I want to feel about that. I already know how I feel about Mother's reaction to this whole situation. I wonder if I'll be prepared for her renewed reaction in two weeks.
Honestly, I don't know what's gonna happen between now and July 12th. A lot of good things can happen. Or a lot of bad. Or both. Or neither. Who can really say?
Lately, it feels like a lot of bad with some good mixed in here and there.
The timing of things is just off, I guess. Haven't been hearing what I've wanted to hear. And that's ok. I don't expect good things or anything like that. I don't really expect much at all.
I just wish... No, you know what? I'm not gonna wish. There's a lot of things that I hope go a certain way. But I can't wish for that. What's an empty wish anyway? I'm not making anything happen.
I feel like I need to make stuff happen. I wanna make something good happen. I don't know what I want to happen or how to go about making it happen. It's just a nice thought, you know? To help get the movie in my head unstuck.
Mm, I'm hoping for a change. The next two weeks will hopefully give me a good change. Though I am the same person as I have been at any point in my life prior to this moment, apparently, I'm already changing or changed, depending on who you talk to. For better in some ways, for worse in others. But I guess that's always the case, yeah?
I have no friggin' idea what I'm saying. How frustrating.
Ahh, I wanted to remember something. Hm. Oh. Remember, way back when I was on LiveJournal all the time, how I used to say something like "I wanna be happy with what I got and what I get"? I think I still feel the same way. Though, maybe more so now than I did back in high school. In high school, for the most part, I was still wanting good and better things, especially when I said I didn't. I wanted life to prove me wrong about how I should view the world and everything. Now, I really don't expect things to go any certain way. I mean, yeah, I've faltered with that a few times recently (Heh, old habits die hard?). But when things haven't been going how I want them to lately, it hurt, and then I was over it pretty quickly.
If half this sad stuff happened to me almost concurrently back in high school, I don't know how I would have dealt with it all then. I think my one-time emotional breakdown would have come sooner than it did, heh. But anyway, lately, yeah, I've cried about things, family-related or otherwise. And then I bounce back like an hour later, thinking much more clearly and calmly. And I dunno. It's weird. I'm not used to this calmness I have. No doubt, I still feel somewhat stressed and anxious about how things are going or how they will go. But it's not as overwhelming as I had initially feared.
Under this calm and collected facade that I've apparently maintained so very well, I've always been a nervous one. I might never show much on the outside, but on the inside, my emotions have wreaked havoc on me. I've had my fair share of teary nights.
During the past couple of weeks, maybe even months, though I have had a few sad days and teary nights, I've been handling my pressures and uncertainties quite well. With some help, I might add. Again, shocking, isn't it? Though I'm nowhere near perfect in handling anything, I feel like I'm doing better. Faltering at times, but I'm actually trying to do better now, rather than just saying that I want or need to do better.
And I'm trying to look up, look forward. Again, shocking. I just hope I don't give up on this again. Or on myself. I feel like I might, but I'm trying not to think like that so much. One day, maybe, this doubt of mine will be eradicated. That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Hmm, yay, positive stuff! I still don't know what I'm doing... now, later, short-term, or long-term. None of that. I only have an inkling. I want to graduate from SJSU as a Sociology major/Philosophy minor (I might add in another minor later on). That's thinking far ahead enough for me, ya dig?
Do you even remember a time where I planned anything at least a year in advance? I didn't think so. Again, I say I'm a changing person. I just never thought I would change for the better haha. Now, let's see if I change enough to take initiative to find a good first job.
Hmm, I think, in one of my next couple of entries, I'll say something about what I'm thinking of doing after college. That's if I come up with anything plausible. I don't have a clue as to what my future's gonna be like. But I'm gonna make it work. Any suggestions? Advice, ideas, and/or guidance would be greatly appreciated. And though I do appreciate the help of academic advisors, I value your opinions as much as, if not more than, I do theirs. Just saying.
Oh, I haven't used a single smiley in this entry yet. That's, again, shocking...
Time for sleep and not necessarily happy thoughts. Sleep and not-sad thoughts work for tonight. Good night :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Registered for Fall 2010...
This morning at about 10h40.
I had set my alarm for 10h30, but I woke up at 7h30 -__- Tried to go back to sleep. Did a few times. But ultimately woke up at 10h22 because Mother was raising her voice at our landlady on the phone..
Anyway, I added four of the five classes I'm planning to take for the Fall (stupid 14-unit cap). I'm waitlisting in a Sociology class that I had not intended to wait to register for -_- and signed up for the Philosophy class that I was going to wait for. Mm. Oh well. It's all good. So I'm enrolled for 12 units right now. Then the first day of class, I'm going to try to add the class I'm waiting for. If not that class, well I have a list of other classes to try to add XP
Fall '10 schedule:
Monday/Wednesday
0900-1015 PHIL 57 (Logic and Critical Reasoning)
1030-1145 SOCI 100W (Writing Workshop)
Tuesday/Thursday
0900-1015 SOCI 101 (Social Theory)
1030-1145 PHIL 109 (Philosophy of Religion)
Waitlist
TR 1200-1315 SOCI 116 (Global Society)
So I'm back to the all-morning schedule for now. Gonna try to add one more class, preferably Global Society, so I can have 15 units and 'cause Prof Cox has good reviews :P Most of the professors for the other classes I might add have ok or bad reviews on RateMyProfessors >_> but they fit my schedule. As in their classes aren't that late in the day haha.
Hm, my schedule's a nice balance between Sociology and Philosophy classes, yeah? My required courses for Sociology. Don't know who's gonna be my 100W professor yet. The SOCI 101 professor, Prof Rudy, is supposed to be a good instructor but a hard grader. My Philosophy professors are gonna be good -nods- Vaidya for 57 (also the undergrad advisor that I met with for my Minor stuff. Nice, laid-back guy). For 109, I'm gonna have Giddings again :) Yay.
Mm, I just realized I shouldn't waitlist for 116 'cause the waitlist won't put me in the class for a few reasons. If my waitlist position gets me into that class, I would go over the 14-unit limit by one unit -_- and so the waitlist will skip over me to add the next person waiting. The waitlist system also ends on the last day of advanced registration, August 15. And I can't go over the 14 units until the first day of class, August 25 -_- Bah! I guess I'll just have to wait till the first day of class to try to add. I hope people don't show up >_> haha.
But I'll keep myself on the waitlist for now. 'Cause if it looks like I can enroll in the class before August 15, I'm gonna drop one of the Philosophy classes and then try to re-add it the first day of classes.
I really wanna get my required Major classes out of the way. So that I can just chill in a couple Philosophy classes for my last semester :P Sounds fun, yeah? I also want to get my Sociology courses done quickly 'cause there are specific Criminology electives I want to take. Though, I might end up taking one of my Criminology electives (a class that I would not prefer to take) this Fall if I don't get SOCI 116 ):
I wonder... When choosing elective courses, would you choose the ones that you wanna take, though they might not fit your overall schedule or plan? Or would you go with the ones that you don't like, but they would help you graduate sooner? I'm leaning toward the former haha XD but we'll see what happens. If I go with what I want, I might end up having to graduate in the Spring of 2012, which isn't bad at all.
Hm, anyway, today kinda sucks. Waking up to Mother yelling at the landlady and later at the guy who mows the lawn was not fun. She bitched at the guy for not doing his job right. What could be expected when the landlady only pays him $30 a month for a biweekly job that involves mowing, leaf-blowing, and raking?
The landlady and her husband are over right now to appease Mother.. And Mother is insisting that the lawn guy should be fired.
Oh, so Mother was bitching at the landlady about our kitchen sink. The garbage disposal thing stopped working but kept making weird sounds. And it was clogging up the drain with something. Mother kept saying that everything in the house doesn't work 'cause it's all too old to work and the landlady is too cheap to buy new things. She basically blames our landlady for all the things that go wrong in the house. The landlady told us when we moved in two years ago that the sink was relatively new (couple months old or something like that). Anyway, her husband checked the disposal. Turns out there were these giant hardened pods or beans or whatever stuck in the disposal. Guess what? They were my mother's. She was using them to make a remedy, and somehow they fell down the sink when she wasn't looking -_- They have been taken out, and the disposal works fine.
So Mother's finally proven wrong, but she doesn't admit defeat. She still says things, implying that all the fault lies not with her but with the landlady. Is it bad to say that I feel embarrassed by this?
And I'm pissed 'cause she's angry at everyone today.. Without much reason. And I'm just trying to drown her out. But she drowns out my music T-T
-siiigh- I need out. Out would be nice. A break... Would a six-month break be too much to ask for?
I had set my alarm for 10h30, but I woke up at 7h30 -__- Tried to go back to sleep. Did a few times. But ultimately woke up at 10h22 because Mother was raising her voice at our landlady on the phone..
Anyway, I added four of the five classes I'm planning to take for the Fall (stupid 14-unit cap). I'm waitlisting in a Sociology class that I had not intended to wait to register for -_- and signed up for the Philosophy class that I was going to wait for. Mm. Oh well. It's all good. So I'm enrolled for 12 units right now. Then the first day of class, I'm going to try to add the class I'm waiting for. If not that class, well I have a list of other classes to try to add XP
Fall '10 schedule:
Monday/Wednesday
0900-1015 PHIL 57 (Logic and Critical Reasoning)
1030-1145 SOCI 100W (Writing Workshop)
Tuesday/Thursday
0900-1015 SOCI 101 (Social Theory)
1030-1145 PHIL 109 (Philosophy of Religion)
Waitlist
TR 1200-1315 SOCI 116 (Global Society)
So I'm back to the all-morning schedule for now. Gonna try to add one more class, preferably Global Society, so I can have 15 units and 'cause Prof Cox has good reviews :P Most of the professors for the other classes I might add have ok or bad reviews on RateMyProfessors >_> but they fit my schedule. As in their classes aren't that late in the day haha.
Hm, my schedule's a nice balance between Sociology and Philosophy classes, yeah? My required courses for Sociology. Don't know who's gonna be my 100W professor yet. The SOCI 101 professor, Prof Rudy, is supposed to be a good instructor but a hard grader. My Philosophy professors are gonna be good -nods- Vaidya for 57 (also the undergrad advisor that I met with for my Minor stuff. Nice, laid-back guy). For 109, I'm gonna have Giddings again :) Yay.
Mm, I just realized I shouldn't waitlist for 116 'cause the waitlist won't put me in the class for a few reasons. If my waitlist position gets me into that class, I would go over the 14-unit limit by one unit -_- and so the waitlist will skip over me to add the next person waiting. The waitlist system also ends on the last day of advanced registration, August 15. And I can't go over the 14 units until the first day of class, August 25 -_- Bah! I guess I'll just have to wait till the first day of class to try to add. I hope people don't show up >_> haha.
But I'll keep myself on the waitlist for now. 'Cause if it looks like I can enroll in the class before August 15, I'm gonna drop one of the Philosophy classes and then try to re-add it the first day of classes.
I really wanna get my required Major classes out of the way. So that I can just chill in a couple Philosophy classes for my last semester :P Sounds fun, yeah? I also want to get my Sociology courses done quickly 'cause there are specific Criminology electives I want to take. Though, I might end up taking one of my Criminology electives (a class that I would not prefer to take) this Fall if I don't get SOCI 116 ):
I wonder... When choosing elective courses, would you choose the ones that you wanna take, though they might not fit your overall schedule or plan? Or would you go with the ones that you don't like, but they would help you graduate sooner? I'm leaning toward the former haha XD but we'll see what happens. If I go with what I want, I might end up having to graduate in the Spring of 2012, which isn't bad at all.
Hm, anyway, today kinda sucks. Waking up to Mother yelling at the landlady and later at the guy who mows the lawn was not fun. She bitched at the guy for not doing his job right. What could be expected when the landlady only pays him $30 a month for a biweekly job that involves mowing, leaf-blowing, and raking?
The landlady and her husband are over right now to appease Mother.. And Mother is insisting that the lawn guy should be fired.
Oh, so Mother was bitching at the landlady about our kitchen sink. The garbage disposal thing stopped working but kept making weird sounds. And it was clogging up the drain with something. Mother kept saying that everything in the house doesn't work 'cause it's all too old to work and the landlady is too cheap to buy new things. She basically blames our landlady for all the things that go wrong in the house. The landlady told us when we moved in two years ago that the sink was relatively new (couple months old or something like that). Anyway, her husband checked the disposal. Turns out there were these giant hardened pods or beans or whatever stuck in the disposal. Guess what? They were my mother's. She was using them to make a remedy, and somehow they fell down the sink when she wasn't looking -_- They have been taken out, and the disposal works fine.
So Mother's finally proven wrong, but she doesn't admit defeat. She still says things, implying that all the fault lies not with her but with the landlady. Is it bad to say that I feel embarrassed by this?
And I'm pissed 'cause she's angry at everyone today.. Without much reason. And I'm just trying to drown her out. But she drowns out my music T-T
-siiigh- I need out. Out would be nice. A break... Would a six-month break be too much to ask for?
Monday, June 21, 2010
Summer Financial Aid issue finally resolved?
So I went to the Financial Aid and Bursar's offices to figure out what the heck is going on with my funds and my account. Back and forth for a while. What a hassle. But it was all settled in the end. FA is gonna disburse my funds Wednesday night (hopefully), which should cover the rest of my fees by Thursday morning. And Thursday, the Bursar's office will hopefully not drop any of my classes.
This whole thing took a lot longer than I had expected it to -_- But it's over. And I'm hoping it all goes well.
Anyway, spent the rest of the day hanging out with Shiva in her room. Didn't go anywhere or do anything, except chillax and be comfy there on her bed. I try to steal her bed quite often. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Anyway, we talked about silly stuff. Did silly things. She kept tickling me T-T Retaliation! Muahahaha...
And again, I must say Shiva has interesting roommates. Or an interesting roommate, since I haven't really talked to the others. But yeah, a bee flew into her roommate's room, and she was kinda freaking out about it. She asked us to help get rid of the bee. But we didn't really wanna get up and go over to do anything. But the roommate started whining/whimpering >_> haha I felt bad and got up. Went over and used a cup and index card to get the bee outside.
First time where I saw the cup and index card thing work well :D The bee didn't fly back into the room to sting me XD haha... As painful and sad as that is, I have laughed at people who have had that happen to them XD
Anyway, lots of fun conversation and stuff today. But I can't really recall much to update about haha XP
Oh, so SF Pride this weekend. Anyone going on Sunday? I wanna go. Though, I don't have much money to do anything >_> But I wanna go. Haha didn't I say something in a blog last year about this year's Pride? Hmm, I'll have to go back and read that.
Anyway, stuff planned for the next few weeks? Maybe.
Pride this weekend. Most likely jean shopping with Harrison next weekend (Who wants to join us? Harrison can probably give rides if you need it). Music in the Park on July 8, if I remember. Summer session starts on the 12th.
Dunno what else there is to look forward to. Harrison's planning a movie night and a water balloon fight. I hope I won't be busy for either of those. I've been hearing of other potential movie nights, but so far it's only been noise and not actual plans. Beach plans haven't been heard of much lately ): Maybe sometime the last two weeks of summer break, I'll go to the beach. Somehow.
So tiiired. I wonder whose fault that is.... Hmm...
This whole thing took a lot longer than I had expected it to -_- But it's over. And I'm hoping it all goes well.
Anyway, spent the rest of the day hanging out with Shiva in her room. Didn't go anywhere or do anything, except chillax and be comfy there on her bed. I try to steal her bed quite often. Not literally, but you know what I mean. Anyway, we talked about silly stuff. Did silly things. She kept tickling me T-T Retaliation! Muahahaha...
And again, I must say Shiva has interesting roommates. Or an interesting roommate, since I haven't really talked to the others. But yeah, a bee flew into her roommate's room, and she was kinda freaking out about it. She asked us to help get rid of the bee. But we didn't really wanna get up and go over to do anything. But the roommate started whining/whimpering >_> haha I felt bad and got up. Went over and used a cup and index card to get the bee outside.
First time where I saw the cup and index card thing work well :D The bee didn't fly back into the room to sting me XD haha... As painful and sad as that is, I have laughed at people who have had that happen to them XD
Anyway, lots of fun conversation and stuff today. But I can't really recall much to update about haha XP
Oh, so SF Pride this weekend. Anyone going on Sunday? I wanna go. Though, I don't have much money to do anything >_> But I wanna go. Haha didn't I say something in a blog last year about this year's Pride? Hmm, I'll have to go back and read that.
Anyway, stuff planned for the next few weeks? Maybe.
Pride this weekend. Most likely jean shopping with Harrison next weekend (Who wants to join us? Harrison can probably give rides if you need it). Music in the Park on July 8, if I remember. Summer session starts on the 12th.
Dunno what else there is to look forward to. Harrison's planning a movie night and a water balloon fight. I hope I won't be busy for either of those. I've been hearing of other potential movie nights, but so far it's only been noise and not actual plans. Beach plans haven't been heard of much lately ): Maybe sometime the last two weeks of summer break, I'll go to the beach. Somehow.
So tiiired. I wonder whose fault that is.... Hmm...
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The future's so blurry, and when it does come into focus...
Just for a moment, I shut my eyes and wait until I feel the blurriness come back.
----
College can be so frustrating... So a bit of not-fun stuff occurred on Thursday. I checked my SJSU account. The Financial Aid fee deferral notes were missing from my account, and my fees hadn't been paid yet. I freaked out, thinking SJSU was gonna drop my classes on Friday. So I went to campus on Friday to see if there was a mistake. But the SSC was closed for internal departmental shtuff.
So I hung out with Shiva and Brian for the rest of the day haha. But when I got home (had to walk home because Mother decided to wash her car), I checked my email and saw that the Bursar's office replied to an email I had sent the night before. They said that my account has a deferral and the payment due date was pushed back. So apparently, I should be ok. Grr, why haven't they changed the due date on my account? That would have been great to know. Save me from the extra stress.
This past week has just been completely stressful.
Now, if all this financial stuff works out, I will just have to worry about the three classes I'll be taking. I'd worry about books too, but Shiva has helped me with getting cheaper books XP Thank you.
Delete delete delete...
There was supposed to be more to this entry than just SJSU-related stuff... But I don't know what to say other than everything I just deleted... And I don't even know why I typed any of it out. I knew I was going to delete all of it, hm.
Ah, I'm tired...
Haha so much for a long and meaningful entry. I reduced this post by more than three-quarters, and now it's just a lame-ass entry about nothing important. Hmph.
Oh, how I miss the days of Xanga and LiveJournal when I posted every lame thought that passed through my brain -sigh-
Anyway, today is Father's Day. I hope you're all going to celebrate with your dads. Or at least wish them a Happy Father's Day.
Hope you have a good day.
----
College can be so frustrating... So a bit of not-fun stuff occurred on Thursday. I checked my SJSU account. The Financial Aid fee deferral notes were missing from my account, and my fees hadn't been paid yet. I freaked out, thinking SJSU was gonna drop my classes on Friday. So I went to campus on Friday to see if there was a mistake. But the SSC was closed for internal departmental shtuff.
So I hung out with Shiva and Brian for the rest of the day haha. But when I got home (had to walk home because Mother decided to wash her car), I checked my email and saw that the Bursar's office replied to an email I had sent the night before. They said that my account has a deferral and the payment due date was pushed back. So apparently, I should be ok. Grr, why haven't they changed the due date on my account? That would have been great to know. Save me from the extra stress.
This past week has just been completely stressful.
Now, if all this financial stuff works out, I will just have to worry about the three classes I'll be taking. I'd worry about books too, but Shiva has helped me with getting cheaper books XP Thank you.
Delete delete delete...
There was supposed to be more to this entry than just SJSU-related stuff... But I don't know what to say other than everything I just deleted... And I don't even know why I typed any of it out. I knew I was going to delete all of it, hm.
Ah, I'm tired...
Haha so much for a long and meaningful entry. I reduced this post by more than three-quarters, and now it's just a lame-ass entry about nothing important. Hmph.
Oh, how I miss the days of Xanga and LiveJournal when I posted every lame thought that passed through my brain -sigh-
Anyway, today is Father's Day. I hope you're all going to celebrate with your dads. Or at least wish them a Happy Father's Day.
Hope you have a good day.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Idiocy in relation to summer units...
Yesterday (Tuesday) morning, I got an email from the Sociology Department with an add code for the Sociology 154 class (Non-Conforming Behavior) I wanted to take over the summer. So I added it, thinking I could drop my Tuesday/Thursday Social Problems class. But no.
So I went to campus to try to figure out how to drop the class. Waited half an hour for the Sociology Department to open after lunch. Their schedule says they are closed from noon to 1, but their lunch lasted until 13h30 -_- And the department couldn't help me.
Went to the Student Services Center. Registrar window. Learned I had to fill out a drop form because the last day to drop without a "W" grade passed. So after that day, I need consent to drop courses.
I went to the AS Print Shop to print the form. But it turned out I needed to write a personal statement, provide documentation as proof that I have to drop the class, and get the signatures from both the class instructor and the chair of my department.
After waiting in a long line, I talked to Financial Aid to see if I would get a fee deferral for the summer session, since the fee due date was the 16th (today). The lady who assisted me laughed at me and said that the office had a lot of papers to get through, so I would just have to be patient -_- I also asked her if my financial aid amount would increase if I added a third class, and she told me no (LIAR!). That freaked me the hell out.
So I rushed home to get a start on class-drop stuff. Spent late hours typing up the personal statement and looking up stuff I would need to complete the drop form. Printed out hella papers for proof.
But in between the time I got home from campus and the time I went to bed, I had to do a bunch of things for Mother and people. Stupid friggin' car stuff. Stupid airbag sensor fail. Had to drive to D's workplace because Mother and I borrowed his car. I drove his car, while Mother drove our car. She took the main roads. I took the freeway. So I got there early and was able to talk to D about the financial situation. He was more worried about the workload/stress I would have to endure (Surprisingly, later, Brother told me he was also more concerned about the workload than the money stuff too).
I was just really stressed out yesterday about the money.
Then today, I went to campus to try to get signatures and ask more questions about the financial stuff. Went to the Bursar's Office first, where I should have gone to first yesterday to save me from all the major stressing out and crap. I asked about refunds and stuff. Turns out I can drop the class and have six units, but I would still have to pay for the original nine units that I registered for. No refunds for students who drop a class but are still enrolled in the semester D: That's friggin' horrible.
So I decided I should just keep all three classes. Get my money's worth, right?
After that, I met up with Shiva but then went to the Financial Aid office again. No lines. And a much more helpful person. I asked about the fee deferral, and she said it wasn't on my account. But then she added the deferral to my account for me. Then I asked her about the aid amount increase for adding another class. She told me my award does increase (YESSS. The other lady lied to me >_<).
Sadly, instead of having to make up the original $700-difference in the cost and the award for the six units, now my family has to pay $861.50 T-T But I guess that's much better than the >$1500 that I had expected to pay yesterday when the lady told me my award wouldn't increase. Though, this still sucks.
I left the SSC feeling a lil better but still disappointed (mostly in myself). $861.50. I could have saved my family the extra $160 if I had planned better or had decided to just suck it up and stay home for the summer. Haha Shiva gave me a hug to make me feel better XP
I really just feel like shit about this whole thing. Money that my family shouldn't have to try to scrounge up so that I can take classes ):
But now that that is settled, my next big worry is the three-course load. Two courses seems tiring enough. But three? x.x Will I survive? Three four-hour classes. They're actually three hours and forty-five minutes long. Two on MW, one on TR. If I could drop Social Problems, I'd only have the two classes on MW. Alas, that is not the case. Five weeks of classes. Almost 24 (actually 22.5) hours of class a week XP I might end up crying sometime during the five-week period haha.
I don't think I'll be going out or anything like that much during those five weeks XP Hopefully will just be spending a lot of time on campus like I did during the past semester.
Oh, after the session is over, I'll have less than two weeks before the Fall semester starts. Will I crash during those two weeks? Highly probable. Will I bounce back in time for the semester? Who knows? I don't.
And ahhh, I hope I pass all my classes XP
Anyway, apparently, today, someone tried to break into my house when no one was home. But no one got in. They tried to get in through the bathroom window. They pulled out the outer screen and pushed the window wide open.
I doubt anyone would want to just drop in. A pretty high drop onto the bathtub. Anyway, Mother's extremely paranoid. She's suspecting every Hispanic person who passes our house now -_-
And she got mad at me for not being home. And she's mad at me because I won't be home when I start summer session -_- Really?
This kinda sucks. One of the main reasons I decided so late to take summer courses was to get away from the house or rather Mother herself.
She wants to pick me up from school and drive me back to school during the six-hour break I'll have on Mondays and Wednesdays -_- No. No way. I already planned some of this stuff out. Go to Statistics at 9h00. Get out at 12h45. Chill with Shiva, do homework, eat lunch, do more homework, nap if possible. Then go to Non-Conforming Behavior with Shiva at 18h00. Get out at 21h45. Take the light rail home. Though, I have to admit going home that late at night is gonna suck. But I've done it before, so -shrug-
Tuesdays and Thursdays should be ok but short. Start at 9h00 and get out at 12h45. Mother will probably make me go home early. Unless... I need help with my class XP I probably will. Do not know how I will handle my classes yet. But if Shiva's there to help me, I'll be aiight, yeah? :D
Anyway, if you wanna hang out like hella, we should kick it before July 12th when my session starts, which is about four weeks away. Session ends on August 12th, but I think I will be too exhausted to do much after that haha. I dunno.
So sad. I wanted to get out of San Jose/Bay Area for a lil while during the summer. Guess not? Oh well. Unless someone kidnaps me, riight? haha. Anyone still planning to go to SoCal anytime this summer? XP
That's a somewhat serious question. If anyone's going to SoCal for a few days before or after my summer session, lemme know when, how you're getting there, where you're staying, and if I can join you, k? I really need to get out for a while.
Mm, that's all for today. So tired.
Tomorrow, I'm driving Mother and Brother to his court thing. I'm not sure if and what I'm hoping for with his court case. But maybe things will work out well for us all in the end, mm? Minimal financial impact, yes? I dunno. Here's to not thinking too much about sad stuff.
Edit (21h39): I just realized that when I was figuring how many units and classes I needed for graduation, I neglected to include the SJSU Studies courses, or Upper GEs. So those R, S, and V classes would add an extra semester. Or not, if I decide to take at least 15 units a semester. Hm, fun stuff.
So I went to campus to try to figure out how to drop the class. Waited half an hour for the Sociology Department to open after lunch. Their schedule says they are closed from noon to 1, but their lunch lasted until 13h30 -_- And the department couldn't help me.
Went to the Student Services Center. Registrar window. Learned I had to fill out a drop form because the last day to drop without a "W" grade passed. So after that day, I need consent to drop courses.
I went to the AS Print Shop to print the form. But it turned out I needed to write a personal statement, provide documentation as proof that I have to drop the class, and get the signatures from both the class instructor and the chair of my department.
After waiting in a long line, I talked to Financial Aid to see if I would get a fee deferral for the summer session, since the fee due date was the 16th (today). The lady who assisted me laughed at me and said that the office had a lot of papers to get through, so I would just have to be patient -_- I also asked her if my financial aid amount would increase if I added a third class, and she told me no (LIAR!). That freaked me the hell out.
So I rushed home to get a start on class-drop stuff. Spent late hours typing up the personal statement and looking up stuff I would need to complete the drop form. Printed out hella papers for proof.
But in between the time I got home from campus and the time I went to bed, I had to do a bunch of things for Mother and people. Stupid friggin' car stuff. Stupid airbag sensor fail. Had to drive to D's workplace because Mother and I borrowed his car. I drove his car, while Mother drove our car. She took the main roads. I took the freeway. So I got there early and was able to talk to D about the financial situation. He was more worried about the workload/stress I would have to endure (Surprisingly, later, Brother told me he was also more concerned about the workload than the money stuff too).
I was just really stressed out yesterday about the money.
Then today, I went to campus to try to get signatures and ask more questions about the financial stuff. Went to the Bursar's Office first, where I should have gone to first yesterday to save me from all the major stressing out and crap. I asked about refunds and stuff. Turns out I can drop the class and have six units, but I would still have to pay for the original nine units that I registered for. No refunds for students who drop a class but are still enrolled in the semester D: That's friggin' horrible.
So I decided I should just keep all three classes. Get my money's worth, right?
After that, I met up with Shiva but then went to the Financial Aid office again. No lines. And a much more helpful person. I asked about the fee deferral, and she said it wasn't on my account. But then she added the deferral to my account for me. Then I asked her about the aid amount increase for adding another class. She told me my award does increase (YESSS. The other lady lied to me >_<).
Sadly, instead of having to make up the original $700-difference in the cost and the award for the six units, now my family has to pay $861.50 T-T But I guess that's much better than the >$1500 that I had expected to pay yesterday when the lady told me my award wouldn't increase. Though, this still sucks.
I left the SSC feeling a lil better but still disappointed (mostly in myself). $861.50. I could have saved my family the extra $160 if I had planned better or had decided to just suck it up and stay home for the summer. Haha Shiva gave me a hug to make me feel better XP
I really just feel like shit about this whole thing. Money that my family shouldn't have to try to scrounge up so that I can take classes ):
But now that that is settled, my next big worry is the three-course load. Two courses seems tiring enough. But three? x.x Will I survive? Three four-hour classes. They're actually three hours and forty-five minutes long. Two on MW, one on TR. If I could drop Social Problems, I'd only have the two classes on MW. Alas, that is not the case. Five weeks of classes. Almost 24 (actually 22.5) hours of class a week XP I might end up crying sometime during the five-week period haha.
I don't think I'll be going out or anything like that much during those five weeks XP Hopefully will just be spending a lot of time on campus like I did during the past semester.
Oh, after the session is over, I'll have less than two weeks before the Fall semester starts. Will I crash during those two weeks? Highly probable. Will I bounce back in time for the semester? Who knows? I don't.
And ahhh, I hope I pass all my classes XP
Anyway, apparently, today, someone tried to break into my house when no one was home. But no one got in. They tried to get in through the bathroom window. They pulled out the outer screen and pushed the window wide open.
I doubt anyone would want to just drop in. A pretty high drop onto the bathtub. Anyway, Mother's extremely paranoid. She's suspecting every Hispanic person who passes our house now -_-
And she got mad at me for not being home. And she's mad at me because I won't be home when I start summer session -_- Really?
This kinda sucks. One of the main reasons I decided so late to take summer courses was to get away from the house or rather Mother herself.
She wants to pick me up from school and drive me back to school during the six-hour break I'll have on Mondays and Wednesdays -_- No. No way. I already planned some of this stuff out. Go to Statistics at 9h00. Get out at 12h45. Chill with Shiva, do homework, eat lunch, do more homework, nap if possible. Then go to Non-Conforming Behavior with Shiva at 18h00. Get out at 21h45. Take the light rail home. Though, I have to admit going home that late at night is gonna suck. But I've done it before, so -shrug-
Tuesdays and Thursdays should be ok but short. Start at 9h00 and get out at 12h45. Mother will probably make me go home early. Unless... I need help with my class XP I probably will. Do not know how I will handle my classes yet. But if Shiva's there to help me, I'll be aiight, yeah? :D
Anyway, if you wanna hang out like hella, we should kick it before July 12th when my session starts, which is about four weeks away. Session ends on August 12th, but I think I will be too exhausted to do much after that haha. I dunno.
So sad. I wanted to get out of San Jose/Bay Area for a lil while during the summer. Guess not? Oh well. Unless someone kidnaps me, riight? haha. Anyone still planning to go to SoCal anytime this summer? XP
That's a somewhat serious question. If anyone's going to SoCal for a few days before or after my summer session, lemme know when, how you're getting there, where you're staying, and if I can join you, k? I really need to get out for a while.
Mm, that's all for today. So tired.
Tomorrow, I'm driving Mother and Brother to his court thing. I'm not sure if and what I'm hoping for with his court case. But maybe things will work out well for us all in the end, mm? Minimal financial impact, yes? I dunno. Here's to not thinking too much about sad stuff.
Edit (21h39): I just realized that when I was figuring how many units and classes I needed for graduation, I neglected to include the SJSU Studies courses, or Upper GEs. So those R, S, and V classes would add an extra semester. Or not, if I decide to take at least 15 units a semester. Hm, fun stuff.
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